w h i t e w a t e r • r i V e r • s e a • m u l t i s p o r t ... - Canoe & Kayak

aiming for Roberton (Motuarohia Island) for lunch.
In between were Motukiekie and Moturua Islands
and dolphins. The tourist dolphin watching boat
must have complained to DOC as a man in a little
fizz boat appeared out of nowhere to inform us
that only 3 boats at a time were allowed to be with
the dolphins and that theoretically each kayak
represented one boat. Tricky when we travel in
pods of 7 or 8 and dolphins surface next to us.
The sun popped out again at lunch time and we
were rewarded with views across Roberton Is to
the multitude of islands beyond us and over to Long
Beach and Paihia on the mainland. After lunch, the
snorklers floated in the lagoon; the teachers taught
rolling; and the hunters and gatherers harvested
mussels for dinner. The cookhouse pots were small
so that evening it was a ‘cookathon’ as pot after pot
was cooked, shelled, devoured and still there was
enough for fritters for breakfast.
Going by my piece of string-on-map measuring
technique, the group I was with had clocked up
27 km. So much for an easy day! I sneaked off,
knackered and climbed into the sack. But at 9.30pm
once again there was whispering outside my tent.
Gosh, how can a girl get a good night sleep with
this crew?
The rabble rousers were at it again. “Wake up, you
are needed!” “What on earth for?” “We are having
a mock court and trying Greg, we need you to be
the Judge.”
Well, if I thought I was tired and had aching
muscles.... I sure did afterwards. From suppressed
laughing. Greg had been cornered by Guy for a
male-bonding chat… and then the cookhouse
magically, gradually filled with folk supposedly
coming for a briefing.
The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide.
Them unicorns looked up from the rocks and
they cried.
A rubber hammer turned into a gavel and the
kangaroo court began.
Policeman Chris aided and abetted by a blond
anaesthetist (or was that an anesthetized blond?)
arrested Greg on 3 charges:
1. Failing to stick to the clubs dress code.
2. Highly irregular, possibly deviant behaviour,
whilst wearing a wet suit.
3. Failing to comply with standard building
practices.
Prosecutor Jacqui was a like a stroppy Fox Terrier
and went for the throat, the Defense council Neil
retaliated in a stand-over Doberman fashion, the
culprit was so vociferous that he had to be gagged,
and poor old “Judge Judy” had her hands full.
As evidenced by the enclosed photos (included
for the benefit of those ignorant of the atrocities)
and by the garments produced on the night, he was
rightly charged on counts 1 & 3. As this is a family
mag we won’t go into detail on item 2, sufficient to
say that some people when gathering mussels put
them in a funny place and should know that they
are alive and nip!
The sentence: Greg has to “arrive with or produce
at each club trip, seafood, crustaceous or otherwise
and ‘Roses’ chocolates for the next ten years.”
Subsequently, I have seen for myself and have
heard reports that these goodies have arrived,
though on at least one occasion, mysteriously in
the middle of the night, when it was thought that
HE was paddling elsewhere.
You’ll see green alligators and long necked geese
Some humpy back camels and some chimpanzees
S o m e c a t s a n d r a t s a n d e l e p h a n t s
But sure as you’re born, You’re never gonna see
no unicorns.
Hmmm…..
Roberton Island, Natasha and family enjoy the sun and views
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