Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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parents didn’t allow me to go anywhere except to house parties. By dating at this early age, I believe that I had a premature start at learning to meet people graciously and with poise. My mother... was quite perturbed when, in the sixth grade, I turned down my first date offer. I don’t think our sixth grade boys followed the normal pattern of not liking girls because all of us spent a great deal of time together after school and on weekends. The big romance of the sixth grade was between one of the boys and me.... We naturally spent lots of time together at the boy-girl parties and at other times. He also took me on my first official date--doubling with another couple to the Saturday matinee. He and I developed a great deal of affection for one another, maybe “puppy love” is a better term, and it was quite sad when he moved at the end of sixth grade. My first date was when I was in the sixth grade. There were four couples who went to the Ice Follies by bus all alone. The whole time I was there I can remember being miserable because I wished I was with the girls instead of a boy. After the show we all went over to one of the girl’s houses for dinner and dancing. Again I repeated my performance of running away when my date asked me to dance and was actually cruel to him the whole evening. I guess I was not ready for a boy friend just yet, although since other girls were beginning to have them I wanted one, too. During these years (sixth through eighth grade) we used to sit with a special guy on the bus after basketball games. Going to the games all of the fellows had to sit in front of the bus, but going home things would change. Dating with me began in the seventh grade. It was a companionship relationship and usually consisted of riding our bikes, playing tennis, or going swimming with a bunch of other kids, or the gang would come to my house at night and play group games such as hide-and-seek, starlight--moonlight, etc. My first paired dating was in the seventh grade. My friend called for me at home like a perfect gentleman, and gallantly escorted me to the car where his father sat patiently waiting. When the program was over, we waited in front of the school for his father to pick us up and take me home. 86
Going Steady Going steady can develop as early as the beginning of the preadolescent dating experience, at least it is “going steady” in the eyes of the participants. Symbols of the going-steady status (such as bracelets and rings) are offered and accepted even while the “steadies” are not in reality dating each other except in their own dream world! After I (a boy) had been to junior high for a few months I fell in with the going-steady pattern.... Before long she asked me to give her a ring or a bracelet of mine which she could wear.... After hearing “All the other girls are wearing their boyfriend’s rings” many times, I bought a cheap dime-store ring which I gave her. This going steady period lasted for about five weeks. I never had a date with her or even phoned her during this time. It seems it was all done just to keep up with what other kids were doing. I began going steady when I was twelve years old and I thought a lot of the boy I was infatuated with. I was sure I had found the secret to happiness and that this was love. My girl friends also had steady boy friends and we used to double date.... Our dates were not really dates at all but the time we spent together was fun. The boys hardly ever picked us up at our homes. The girls would regularly go to the show Friday nights and Sundays. We would always sit in the same place and the boys would always come and sit with us or behind us. Then after the movie the boys would walk us home. Quite often we would all get together downtown and then walk home together. Hardly ever, in fact, never did we take the boys into our homes to talk; we would always stand outside. I do not believe that I ever kissed my boy friend but we did hold hands in private.... I believe that going steady made me feel important and gave me some self-confidence. Sexual-Erotic Encounters The going steady relationships just described could be classified as non-erotic encounters because of a lack of intimacy and physical stimulation. But, on the other hand, many simple, naive and more or less erotic experiences of childhood also carry over into preadolescence and are elaborated upon. Exposing oneself to a person of the opposite sex is a case in point. The following cases under the heading, “Exposure,” are arranged according to the age of the persons involved. Exposure is common in the younger years of preadolescence. Exposure Alice (third grade) often let me watch her urinate, but I always refused to permit her to watch 87
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INFANT AND CHILD SEXUALITY A Sociol
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About the Author Ph.D., Sociology,
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PREFACE We know very little about s
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Many persons played significant tho
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in infancy and childhood in hormone
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cause psychoanalytic theory, though
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and differentiating adults by such
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questions about his penis. He watch
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(Korner, 1973). The male infant has
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milk. Breast feeding is significant
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infant. Not only the amount but als
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According to the middle class stand
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myths about this practice. The Chil
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three hundred (one percent of the f
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Infants deprived of touch--holding,
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pervasive aspect of one’s total p
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The mother of a five year old told
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ate count as to the number who do,
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een aware that autoeroticism--eroti
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had erections when playing with gir
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they will eventually select their m
Page 44 and 45: and I can remember being scolded nu
Page 46 and 47: the arousal, but I was aroused. Chi
Page 48 and 49: was more inquisitive than sexual. B
Page 50 and 51: In both of the following cases, as
Page 52 and 53: emember to this day the nauseated f
Page 54 and 55: I remember one scene very well. He
Page 56 and 57: and he’d done it! The only penis
Page 58 and 59: of dwellings. He based his work on
Page 60 and 61: ents. Bandura and Walters conclude
Page 62 and 63: 1965, p. 225). Children often contr
Page 64 and 65: shocked, told me not to do it anymo
Page 66 and 67: all children who are told to get
Page 68 and 69: cide that the child is “not old e
Page 70 and 71: little”; “they grow out of the
Page 72 and 73: that there was a “place in mommy
Page 74 and 75: tivity, and especially that which i
Page 76 and 77: His next approach was to tell me ab
Page 78 and 79: My father when undressed was a sour
Page 80 and 81: In other words, I was to avoid him,
Page 82 and 83: The general taboo on sensory-affect
Page 84 and 85: held by the eight year old. An inte
Page 86 and 87: asked each boy to rate his response
Page 88 and 89: It was not until high school that I
Page 90 and 91: fondling between the ages of eleven
Page 92 and 93: invited on an individual basis. Oft
Page 96 and 97: me. I repeatedly told her that I wa
Page 98 and 99: grade girl) was so embarrassed and
Page 100 and 101: societies that are considerably mor
Page 102 and 103: attempts at fellatio. Other cases i
Page 104 and 105: it. I felt a tingling all over my b
Page 106 and 107: me to look at a cunt as soon as pos
Page 108 and 109: Sex Instructions fondle me and inve
Page 110 and 111: ing. This pattern continued on to j
Page 112 and 113: long as I had started it, I could r
Page 114 and 115: As far back as I can remember my pa
Page 116 and 117: mal sex education from my father du
Page 118 and 119: with their immediate descendants. T
Page 120 and 121: fully initiated but not yet married
Page 122 and 123: nificance in the presence of childr
Page 124 and 125: sexuality nor for the quality of se
Page 126 and 127: Literature One indirect method util
Page 128 and 129: love, sex, and the opposite sex. Th
Page 130 and 131: year olds in Elmtown about 15 perce
Page 132 and 133: ing attitudes, conversations, and a
Page 134 and 135: Outcomes of Preadolescent Sexual En
Page 136 and 137: Positive in love romantic really li
Page 138 and 139: anticipation, and satisfaction. Wha
Page 140 and 141: IV. A FEW WORDS OF MY OWN It is goo
Page 142 and 143: BIBLIOGRAPHY Abelson, H., Cohen, R.
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Crist, John R., “High School Dati
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Ketcher, Allan, “The Discriminati
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Newton, Niles and Michael Newton,
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Woody, Jane Divita, “Contemporary
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INDEX Ford, Clellan S., 8, 15, 49,
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INDEX in early childhood with adult
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