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Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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Going Steady<br />

Going steady can develop as early as the beginning of the preadolescent<br />

dating experience, at least it is “going steady” in the eyes of<br />

the participants. Symbols of the going-steady status (such as bracelets<br />

<strong>and</strong> rings) are offered <strong>and</strong> accepted even while the “steadies” are<br />

not in reality dating each other except in their own dream world!<br />

After I (a boy) had been to junior high for a few<br />

months I fell in with the going-steady pattern....<br />

Before long she asked me to give her a<br />

ring or a bracelet of mine which she could<br />

wear.... After hearing “All the other girls are<br />

wearing their boyfriend’s rings” many times, I<br />

bought a cheap dime-store ring which I gave her.<br />

This going steady period lasted for about five<br />

weeks. I never had a date with her or even phoned<br />

her during this time. It seems it was all done<br />

just to keep up with what other kids were doing.<br />

I began going steady when I was twelve years old<br />

<strong>and</strong> I thought a lot of the boy I was infatuated<br />

with. I was sure I had found the secret to happiness<br />

<strong>and</strong> that this was love. My girl friends also<br />

had steady boy friends <strong>and</strong> we used to double<br />

date.... Our dates were not really dates at all<br />

but the time we spent together was fun. The boys<br />

hardly ever picked us up at our homes. The girls<br />

would regularly go to the show Friday nights <strong>and</strong><br />

Sundays. We would always sit in the same place <strong>and</strong><br />

the boys would always come <strong>and</strong> sit with us or<br />

behind us. Then after the movie the boys would<br />

walk us home. Quite often we would all get<br />

together downtown <strong>and</strong> then walk home together.<br />

Hardly ever, in fact, never did we take the boys<br />

into our homes to talk; we would always st<strong>and</strong> outside.<br />

I do not believe that I ever kissed my boy<br />

friend but we did hold h<strong>and</strong>s in private.... I<br />

believe that going steady made me feel important<br />

<strong>and</strong> gave me some self-confidence.<br />

Sexual-Erotic Encounters<br />

The going steady relationships just described could be classified<br />

as non-erotic encounters because of a lack of intimacy <strong>and</strong> physical<br />

stimulation. But, on the other h<strong>and</strong>, many simple, naive <strong>and</strong> more or<br />

less erotic experiences of childhood also carry over into preadolescence<br />

<strong>and</strong> are elaborated upon. Exposing oneself to a person of the opposite<br />

sex is a case in point. The following cases under the heading,<br />

“Exposure,” are arranged according to the age of the persons involved.<br />

Exposure is common in the younger years of preadolescence.<br />

Exposure<br />

Alice (third grade) often let me watch her urinate,<br />

but I always refused to permit her to watch<br />

87

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