Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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shocked, told me not to do it anymore and spanked me. Then she never mentioned it again. The child quickly learned that this pleasant sexual experience was not something to be shared with his mother. The fact that she “never mentioned it again” is significant. Children remember being admonished “not to do it anymore.” In many non-sexual things that the child does the mother stops the activity but promises the child that he can do it later, or can do it when he is old enough. Not so with sexual activity; children do not recall that the negative injunction is ever removed by the mother saying, “Now it is alright to do it.” Because of this negative reaction of the parents, children masturbate with feelings of guilt. Masturbation then becomes a “group” rather than an individual activity since mother or father, with negative response, is present as a significant other in the child’s fantasy, disapproving of his activity as he masturbates. “Show it” activity is also apt to be met by negative injunction or unambiguous instruction (“never do such a thing again”) resulting in confusion for the child. We saw no harm in this (boy and neighbor girl stripping to examine each other) but our parents scolded us, and told us never to do such a thing again. This troubled me, my body was not to be seen by anyone except myself. In the following case, mother lost her composure (“she became quite upset”) and gave unambiguous instructions (“never to touch this object again”) with no explanation as to the reason for the unambiguous instructions and without indicating that the injunction would ever be removed. It is doubtful that the mother really meant that her daughter should never touch a contraceptive again! When rummaging through my mother’s chest-ofdrawers I discovered a circular, rubbery object (a diaphragm). Too wide and flat to be a balloon, I was fascinated by the fact that I could stretch this piece of rubber, and so I did. I was caught by my mother who became quite upset and told me never to touch this object again without any explanation as to what it was. The words “never again” come easily to the lips of a repressive mother. My friend and I were in the basement of our home, hiding behind the furnace, about to do something “nasty.” My friend dropped his trousers, bent over, and manly spread his “cheeks” in order for me to get the best view possible. I exclaimed. Then I did the same thing for him and he exclaimed. Later my mother asked what we were doing in the basement. I finally told her that we were showing butts. She told me never to do anything like that again. I felt almost certain that I had done something which would prove to be 56
irreparably damaging to my future life. The effects of a good tongue-lashing stayed with me for approximately one year, after which time I had grown out of my fixation and eventually realized myself that it was probably not that horrible a thing to do. Sexual encounters between peers often end abruptly when mother enters the scene. Mother spanks, reprimands, separates the participants, and threatens, as in the following case. Mother viewed the situation in an extremely negative manner and reacted accordingly. But it was “effective”--“we discontinued our sex play.” One of my girl cousins was only a few months older than I (a boy) so we played together quite often when we were in grade school. Our games included sex play with her genitals. We were quite aware that what we were doing was “wrong,” but we continued this type of activity until her mother caught us. She gave us both a spanking, said what we were doing was very bad, and put us in different rooms in the house for the rest of the day. She threatened to tell my mother, but I don’t think she ever did. We discontinued our sex play after that time. Even something so innocent and spontaneous as an erection may meet with scolding and slapping from a repressive adult thus “frightening the sexual dickens” out of a little boy. When an erection would occur our mother would scold us and this tended to frighten us. I remember one time I was visiting my grandmother. I had just taken a bath and she wanted to see if I was clean or not. As she cleaned my navel I had an erection. She said, “Oh, Gary!” and gave it a little slap. It just frightened the sexual dickens out of me. Showing one’s age mate of the same sex results of one’s recent circumcision can meet with “screaming and hollering” and spanking from mother. It is bad to be “caught in the act” as the following two cases attest. I was playing with my friend. He had just been to the doctor and was telling me what they had done to him. He showed me his penis, and just as he did so, his mother entered the room hollering and screaming. I remember I was so scared I hid my face in my hands and ran out the door and down the stairs the first chance I had. As I ran home, I knew he was getting a licking... The earliest situation which I can recall involving a sexual component, occurred at the age of five. Jane, my cousin, and myself were put into the same bed at her home where we were visiting. We talked and played for some time as 57
Page 1 and 2:
INFANT AND CHILD SEXUALITY A Sociol
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About the Author Ph.D., Sociology,
Page 6 and 7:
PREFACE We know very little about s
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Many persons played significant tho
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in infancy and childhood in hormone
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cause psychoanalytic theory, though
Page 14 and 15: and differentiating adults by such
Page 16 and 17: questions about his penis. He watch
Page 18 and 19: (Korner, 1973). The male infant has
Page 20 and 21: milk. Breast feeding is significant
Page 22 and 23: infant. Not only the amount but als
Page 24 and 25: According to the middle class stand
Page 26 and 27: myths about this practice. The Chil
Page 28 and 29: three hundred (one percent of the f
Page 30 and 31: Infants deprived of touch--holding,
Page 32 and 33: pervasive aspect of one’s total p
Page 34 and 35: The mother of a five year old told
Page 36 and 37: ate count as to the number who do,
Page 38 and 39: een aware that autoeroticism--eroti
Page 40 and 41: had erections when playing with gir
Page 42 and 43: they will eventually select their m
Page 44 and 45: and I can remember being scolded nu
Page 46 and 47: the arousal, but I was aroused. Chi
Page 48 and 49: was more inquisitive than sexual. B
Page 50 and 51: In both of the following cases, as
Page 52 and 53: emember to this day the nauseated f
Page 54 and 55: I remember one scene very well. He
Page 56 and 57: and he’d done it! The only penis
Page 58 and 59: of dwellings. He based his work on
Page 60 and 61: ents. Bandura and Walters conclude
Page 62 and 63: 1965, p. 225). Children often contr
Page 66 and 67: all children who are told to get
Page 68 and 69: cide that the child is “not old e
Page 70 and 71: little”; “they grow out of the
Page 72 and 73: that there was a “place in mommy
Page 74 and 75: tivity, and especially that which i
Page 76 and 77: His next approach was to tell me ab
Page 78 and 79: My father when undressed was a sour
Page 80 and 81: In other words, I was to avoid him,
Page 82 and 83: The general taboo on sensory-affect
Page 84 and 85: held by the eight year old. An inte
Page 86 and 87: asked each boy to rate his response
Page 88 and 89: It was not until high school that I
Page 90 and 91: fondling between the ages of eleven
Page 92 and 93: invited on an individual basis. Oft
Page 94 and 95: parents didn’t allow me to go any
Page 96 and 97: me. I repeatedly told her that I wa
Page 98 and 99: grade girl) was so embarrassed and
Page 100 and 101: societies that are considerably mor
Page 102 and 103: attempts at fellatio. Other cases i
Page 104 and 105: it. I felt a tingling all over my b
Page 106 and 107: me to look at a cunt as soon as pos
Page 108 and 109: Sex Instructions fondle me and inve
Page 110 and 111: ing. This pattern continued on to j
Page 112 and 113: long as I had started it, I could r
Page 114 and 115:
As far back as I can remember my pa
Page 116 and 117:
mal sex education from my father du
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with their immediate descendants. T
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fully initiated but not yet married
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nificance in the presence of childr
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sexuality nor for the quality of se
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Literature One indirect method util
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love, sex, and the opposite sex. Th
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year olds in Elmtown about 15 perce
Page 132 and 133:
ing attitudes, conversations, and a
Page 134 and 135:
Outcomes of Preadolescent Sexual En
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Positive in love romantic really li
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anticipation, and satisfaction. Wha
Page 140 and 141:
IV. A FEW WORDS OF MY OWN It is goo
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Abelson, H., Cohen, R.
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Crist, John R., “High School Dati
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Ketcher, Allan, “The Discriminati
Page 148 and 149:
Newton, Niles and Michael Newton,
Page 150 and 151:
Woody, Jane Divita, “Contemporary
Page 152 and 153:
INDEX Ford, Clellan S., 8, 15, 49,
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INDEX in early childhood with adult
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Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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