Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce
Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce
Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce
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shocked, told me not to do it anymore <strong>and</strong><br />
spanked me. Then she never mentioned it again.<br />
The child quickly learned that this pleasant sexual experience was<br />
not something to be shared with his mother. The fact that she “never<br />
mentioned it again” is significant. <strong>Child</strong>ren remember being admonished<br />
“not to do it anymore.” In many non-sexual things that the child does<br />
the mother stops the activity but promises the child that he can do it<br />
later, or can do it when he is old enough. Not so with sexual activity;<br />
children do not recall that the negative injunction is ever removed<br />
by the mother saying, “Now it is alright to do it.” Because of<br />
this negative reaction of the parents, children masturbate with feelings<br />
of guilt. Masturbation then becomes a “group” rather than an individual<br />
activity since mother or father, with negative response, is<br />
present as a significant other in the child’s fantasy, disapproving of<br />
his activity as he masturbates.<br />
“Show it” activity is also apt to be met by negative injunction or<br />
unambiguous instruction (“never do such a thing again”) resulting in<br />
confusion for the child.<br />
We saw no harm in this (boy <strong>and</strong> neighbor girl<br />
stripping to examine each other) but our parents<br />
scolded us, <strong>and</strong> told us never to do such a<br />
thing again. This troubled me, my body was not<br />
to be seen by anyone except myself.<br />
In the following case, mother lost her composure (“she became quite<br />
upset”) <strong>and</strong> gave unambiguous instructions (“never to touch this object<br />
again”) with no explanation as to the reason for the unambiguous instructions<br />
<strong>and</strong> without indicating that the injunction would ever be removed.<br />
It is doubtful that the mother really meant that her daughter<br />
should never touch a contraceptive again!<br />
When rummaging through my mother’s chest-ofdrawers<br />
I discovered a circular, rubbery object<br />
(a diaphragm). Too wide <strong>and</strong> flat to be a balloon,<br />
I was fascinated by the fact that I could<br />
stretch this piece of rubber, <strong>and</strong> so I did. I<br />
was caught by my mother who became quite upset<br />
<strong>and</strong> told me never to touch this object again<br />
without any explanation as to what it was.<br />
The words “never again” come easily to the lips of a repressive<br />
mother.<br />
My friend <strong>and</strong> I were in the basement of our home,<br />
hiding behind the furnace, about to do something<br />
“nasty.” My friend dropped his trousers, bent<br />
over, <strong>and</strong> manly spread his “cheeks” in order for<br />
me to get the best view possible. I exclaimed.<br />
Then I did the same thing for him <strong>and</strong> he<br />
exclaimed. Later my mother asked what we were<br />
doing in the basement. I finally told her that we<br />
were showing butts. She told me never to do anything<br />
like that again. I felt almost certain that<br />
I had done something which would prove to be<br />
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