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Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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shocked, told me not to do it anymore <strong>and</strong><br />

spanked me. Then she never mentioned it again.<br />

The child quickly learned that this pleasant sexual experience was<br />

not something to be shared with his mother. The fact that she “never<br />

mentioned it again” is significant. <strong>Child</strong>ren remember being admonished<br />

“not to do it anymore.” In many non-sexual things that the child does<br />

the mother stops the activity but promises the child that he can do it<br />

later, or can do it when he is old enough. Not so with sexual activity;<br />

children do not recall that the negative injunction is ever removed<br />

by the mother saying, “Now it is alright to do it.” Because of<br />

this negative reaction of the parents, children masturbate with feelings<br />

of guilt. Masturbation then becomes a “group” rather than an individual<br />

activity since mother or father, with negative response, is<br />

present as a significant other in the child’s fantasy, disapproving of<br />

his activity as he masturbates.<br />

“Show it” activity is also apt to be met by negative injunction or<br />

unambiguous instruction (“never do such a thing again”) resulting in<br />

confusion for the child.<br />

We saw no harm in this (boy <strong>and</strong> neighbor girl<br />

stripping to examine each other) but our parents<br />

scolded us, <strong>and</strong> told us never to do such a<br />

thing again. This troubled me, my body was not<br />

to be seen by anyone except myself.<br />

In the following case, mother lost her composure (“she became quite<br />

upset”) <strong>and</strong> gave unambiguous instructions (“never to touch this object<br />

again”) with no explanation as to the reason for the unambiguous instructions<br />

<strong>and</strong> without indicating that the injunction would ever be removed.<br />

It is doubtful that the mother really meant that her daughter<br />

should never touch a contraceptive again!<br />

When rummaging through my mother’s chest-ofdrawers<br />

I discovered a circular, rubbery object<br />

(a diaphragm). Too wide <strong>and</strong> flat to be a balloon,<br />

I was fascinated by the fact that I could<br />

stretch this piece of rubber, <strong>and</strong> so I did. I<br />

was caught by my mother who became quite upset<br />

<strong>and</strong> told me never to touch this object again<br />

without any explanation as to what it was.<br />

The words “never again” come easily to the lips of a repressive<br />

mother.<br />

My friend <strong>and</strong> I were in the basement of our home,<br />

hiding behind the furnace, about to do something<br />

“nasty.” My friend dropped his trousers, bent<br />

over, <strong>and</strong> manly spread his “cheeks” in order for<br />

me to get the best view possible. I exclaimed.<br />

Then I did the same thing for him <strong>and</strong> he<br />

exclaimed. Later my mother asked what we were<br />

doing in the basement. I finally told her that we<br />

were showing butts. She told me never to do anything<br />

like that again. I felt almost certain that<br />

I had done something which would prove to be<br />

56

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