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Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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1965, p. 225). <strong>Child</strong>ren often contribute to the parents’ felt need of<br />

secrecy by showing disgust or rejection of the sex displays of their<br />

parents. Young people often report that any sight of their parents<br />

showing affection toward each other embarrassed them as children.<br />

This is not always true. In the following case the child shows real<br />

appreciation of the father’s show of affection for the mother.<br />

My father tries to do whatever he can to make it<br />

easier <strong>and</strong> better for all of us. He shows many<br />

outward signs of love <strong>and</strong> affection toward my<br />

mother in the presence of us children. This is<br />

especially detectable by the way my father<br />

kisses my mother <strong>and</strong> the little things he says<br />

to her, which have no great meaning to us, but<br />

do to mother.<br />

But on balance, from survey data <strong>and</strong> from case histories we must<br />

conclude that whenever a young child in the United States engages verbally<br />

or physically in a sexual encounter with a parent the situation<br />

is usually one of conflict rather than accommodation, cooperation, <strong>and</strong><br />

affection. I suspect, however, that the case history sample based on<br />

recall is somewhat biased in that sexual encounters involving conflict<br />

provide more trauma <strong>and</strong> are indelibly etched on the memory when compared<br />

to sexual encounters that do not involve conflict, trauma or<br />

guilt.<br />

Most sexual encounters of children with their parents involve the<br />

parent not as a participant in the encounter but as an observer of a<br />

sexual encounter between the child <strong>and</strong> a peer. The parent often makes<br />

his appearance unexpectedly <strong>and</strong> puts a stop to the activity. (Litin, et<br />

al, 1956).<br />

The child also learns what the prevailing adult attitudes are toward<br />

sex even without parental interference in direct encounters. The<br />

tone of voice in which gossip is relayed warns him to avoid becoming a<br />

subject for similar gossip. The care <strong>and</strong> circumlocution with which certain<br />

matters of sex are avoided in books, in the press, <strong>and</strong> in other<br />

public communications subtly reminds the child of the state of public<br />

opinion on these matters. Discussions of such things as divorce, marital<br />

discord, the sexual sc<strong>and</strong>als of the community <strong>and</strong> the gossip about<br />

public figures probably have more influence in controlling the child’s<br />

behavior than any specific action that society may take or any legal<br />

penalties that are attached to those things. (Kinsey, 1948, p. 446).<br />

<strong>Child</strong>ren notice at an early age that certain topics may not be mentioned.<br />

They experience <strong>and</strong> become sensitized to the embarrassed <strong>and</strong><br />

critical attitudes displayed by adults whenever anything pertaining to<br />

sex comes up for discussion. They are frequently instructed not to repeat<br />

to outsiders any information given them about genital differences<br />

or child birth. (Conn, 1940).<br />

My problem was the modesty of my parents, especially<br />

my father, regarding sexuality <strong>and</strong> the<br />

existence of male <strong>and</strong> female bodies <strong>and</strong> their<br />

functions. If there were any possible chance<br />

that I might be in the area when my father was<br />

dressing, he made sure that the door was shut<br />

54

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