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Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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her mother didn’t know what to do <strong>and</strong> then<br />

decided to go along as long as her daughter<br />

seemed okay. She put her h<strong>and</strong> on her daughter’s<br />

genitals <strong>and</strong> suggested Alice put hers on top,<br />

showing her mother how it felt best. Her daughter<br />

started moving rhythmically <strong>and</strong> breathing<br />

heavily, exactly as she had seen her mother do.<br />

Her motion <strong>and</strong> breathing gradually built up to a<br />

climax <strong>and</strong> she relaxed. Whether she actually<br />

reached orgasm or mimicked it is uncertain. She<br />

was happy <strong>and</strong> thanked her mother. (Constantine).<br />

Barb, at five, appeared to be completely comfortable<br />

being present when her parents made love.<br />

Her parents were casual about sensual interactions<br />

with their children. One day Barb asked,<br />

“Dad, can I have a ‘love-in’ with you?” “Well,<br />

maybe when you’re older, if you still want to we<br />

can talk about it.” It was an honest reply, not a<br />

put-off, <strong>and</strong> satisfied her. She continued to have<br />

interest in erotic involvement with her father<br />

with no apparent anxieties on the part of either<br />

daughter or father. (Constantine).<br />

The child’s first ideas about marriage are based upon what he observes<br />

of his parents’ behavior <strong>and</strong> on the encounters he has with his<br />

parents. He is aware that emotion <strong>and</strong> affection are or are not displayed,<br />

that sharing does or does not take place, that thoughtfulness<br />

<strong>and</strong> concern are or are not shown. Later on, he seeks to emulate or reject<br />

their patterns of behavior. Most parents have something of a life<br />

together of which the child is not a part. The child does not always<br />

accept the fact that he is an outsider to some parental activity <strong>and</strong><br />

may have difficulty adjusting to it. In the following case, the secrecy<br />

that the child felt cloaked his parents’ separation from him<br />

added to his feeling of alienation.<br />

I believe I was aware of it when I was about<br />

five or six years old. That is when I became<br />

aware of the fact my mother <strong>and</strong> father were<br />

going out sometimes at night after I was supposed<br />

to be asleep. My room was near the garage,<br />

<strong>and</strong> the opening garage door made quite a racket.<br />

It would awaken me, <strong>and</strong> I often would lie awake<br />

until they returned late at night. I figured<br />

that they were trying to keep this secret from<br />

me by sneaking out while I was asleep. This made<br />

me think they felt a little guilty about it, <strong>and</strong><br />

so I never brought it up, although I often cried<br />

for hours while they were gone because the situation<br />

disturbed me so.<br />

Many parents who “go out” do not hide this fact from their children<br />

but provide a surrogate parent in the person of a baby-sitter. On<br />

the other h<strong>and</strong>, most children do not learn much about sexual behavior<br />

even from parents who accept their own sexual activity <strong>and</strong> enjoy it because<br />

of the parents’ desire for privacy, their ingenuity, <strong>and</strong> their<br />

felt ‘need’ to keep sexuality secret from the child. (Gagnon, August<br />

53

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