Infant and Child Sexuality: A Sociological Perspective - Ipce

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of dwellings. He based his work on the thesis that restrictions placed upon contact--the maintenance of social distance--provide a way in which awe can be generated and sustained. He assumed that sex was most likely to be private in societies where houses had substantial walls that could not be seen through. On the other hand, attitudes toward sex would likely be more casual if people lived in houses made of lattice work or grass or if the houses had no walls. Maxwell made a cross-culture check of his theory having adequate information on wall material and norms of premarital sex behavior for ninety-three societies. The data supported the hypothesis. The more opaque the walls, the stricter the sex norms. Homes in the United States overwhelmingly have opaque walls. Awe and trauma can occur for the child if he has been sheltered and is suddenly exposed to an unusual adult genital-related experience without receiving an adequate explanation of the behavior, as the following case. I was intrigued with my mother’s physical differences. The most puzzling childhood experience I had involved her menstruation. I awoke one night to see my father carrying my mother, who had hemorrhaged to such an extent that her nightgown was soaked with blood. This terrified and mystified me, not only that night but for some time afterwards. I was so shocked by her appearance that I thought something terrible had happened to her. There again, no attempt was made on my parents’ part to explain this normal biological occurrence. The experience happened to me when I was no more than four years old, yet I vividly recall the emotional reactions which took place in my mind. It is quite rare that parents in the United States show sexual and erotic attachment for each other in the presence of their children and in ways which a child can comprehend. As a result children show little awareness of the sexual relationship between their parents. Parents who have good relations with each other are likely to he seen as associates rather than as lovers by their children. (Mead and Wolfenstein, 1955). My parents never seemed to show any signs or say anything that might make me consider the possibility of them having another side of their marriage besides the family. As long as I can remember I have never seen my parents show intimate affection in any way toward each other. I remember in high school when we used to talk about how affectionate couples are that either were going steady, engaged, or just married, and it was hard to imagine my parents the same way. 50
I don’t believe my folks thought of themselves as functioning separately from us. If they did, they did a good job of concealing it. There was not much sign of mutual attraction between them, but they just seemed to be existing together. When I was alone with my father, at times when he was perturbed, he would sometimes speak nasty things against my mother. So I figured they were only together and were trying to make a living together. So as I grew up, I grew into this pattern. I think even my parents’ sex expression was subordinated and relegated to a certain time when it wouldn’t interfere with the family activities. Even during high school, I can never recall an instance when I was conscious of the fact that my parents were having sex relations. They seemed a little embarrassed when they kissed in front of us and showed little outward expressions of love. I cannot even remember seeing them hug. This bothered me while I was growing up. The general taboo on child-parent sexual encounters in the United States makes any specifically sensory-affectional socialization of the child by parents awkward and out of character. This greatly minimizes the amount of intimacy learning that the child receives directly in the home. The prohibitions are not always as inclusive as in the following case, however. I have no recollection of the word love ever being used by any member of my family. The outward display of emotion was never encouraged but was, in fact, so discouraged that I came to feel that it was a sign of weakness and was wrong. A kiss was never used as a sign of greeting or farewell. This control of any outward display of emotions was so strongly entrenched that I was reluctant all through high school to become involved in any situation which might put a demand on the emotions associated with a relationship between two people of opposite sex. Though children in the United States have little opportunity to learn of the intimate sexual aspects of sensory-affectional relations from watching their parents, they do pattern their sexual behavior after their parents based on general observation of parental behavior and their own experience of affection or the lack of it in interaction with their parents. Bandura and Walters (1963) report that sexually anxious parents have sons who are both guilty about sex and exhibit anxieties about relating dependently to people. Parents of inhibited boys showed a constellation of general emotional inhibition, sex anxiety, and relatively infrequent dependency responses directed toward other adults. The children learn to model their behavior after their inhibited par- 51
Page 1 and 2:
INFANT AND CHILD SEXUALITY A Sociol
Page 3:
About the Author Ph.D., Sociology,
Page 6 and 7:
PREFACE We know very little about s
Page 8 and 9: Many persons played significant tho
Page 10 and 11: in infancy and childhood in hormone
Page 12 and 13: cause psychoanalytic theory, though
Page 14 and 15: and differentiating adults by such
Page 16 and 17: questions about his penis. He watch
Page 18 and 19: (Korner, 1973). The male infant has
Page 20 and 21: milk. Breast feeding is significant
Page 22 and 23: infant. Not only the amount but als
Page 24 and 25: According to the middle class stand
Page 26 and 27: myths about this practice. The Chil
Page 28 and 29: three hundred (one percent of the f
Page 30 and 31: Infants deprived of touch--holding,
Page 32 and 33: pervasive aspect of one’s total p
Page 34 and 35: The mother of a five year old told
Page 36 and 37: ate count as to the number who do,
Page 38 and 39: een aware that autoeroticism--eroti
Page 40 and 41: had erections when playing with gir
Page 42 and 43: they will eventually select their m
Page 44 and 45: and I can remember being scolded nu
Page 46 and 47: the arousal, but I was aroused. Chi
Page 48 and 49: was more inquisitive than sexual. B
Page 50 and 51: In both of the following cases, as
Page 52 and 53: emember to this day the nauseated f
Page 54 and 55: I remember one scene very well. He
Page 56 and 57: and he’d done it! The only penis
Page 60 and 61: ents. Bandura and Walters conclude
Page 62 and 63: 1965, p. 225). Children often contr
Page 64 and 65: shocked, told me not to do it anymo
Page 66 and 67: all children who are told to get
Page 68 and 69: cide that the child is “not old e
Page 70 and 71: little”; “they grow out of the
Page 72 and 73: that there was a “place in mommy
Page 74 and 75: tivity, and especially that which i
Page 76 and 77: His next approach was to tell me ab
Page 78 and 79: My father when undressed was a sour
Page 80 and 81: In other words, I was to avoid him,
Page 82 and 83: The general taboo on sensory-affect
Page 84 and 85: held by the eight year old. An inte
Page 86 and 87: asked each boy to rate his response
Page 88 and 89: It was not until high school that I
Page 90 and 91: fondling between the ages of eleven
Page 92 and 93: invited on an individual basis. Oft
Page 94 and 95: parents didn’t allow me to go any
Page 96 and 97: me. I repeatedly told her that I wa
Page 98 and 99: grade girl) was so embarrassed and
Page 100 and 101: societies that are considerably mor
Page 102 and 103: attempts at fellatio. Other cases i
Page 104 and 105: it. I felt a tingling all over my b
Page 106 and 107: me to look at a cunt as soon as pos
Page 108 and 109:
Sex Instructions fondle me and inve
Page 110 and 111:
ing. This pattern continued on to j
Page 112 and 113:
long as I had started it, I could r
Page 114 and 115:
As far back as I can remember my pa
Page 116 and 117:
mal sex education from my father du
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with their immediate descendants. T
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fully initiated but not yet married
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nificance in the presence of childr
Page 124 and 125:
sexuality nor for the quality of se
Page 126 and 127:
Literature One indirect method util
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love, sex, and the opposite sex. Th
Page 130 and 131:
year olds in Elmtown about 15 perce
Page 132 and 133:
ing attitudes, conversations, and a
Page 134 and 135:
Outcomes of Preadolescent Sexual En
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Positive in love romantic really li
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anticipation, and satisfaction. Wha
Page 140 and 141:
IV. A FEW WORDS OF MY OWN It is goo
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BIBLIOGRAPHY Abelson, H., Cohen, R.
Page 144 and 145:
Crist, John R., “High School Dati
Page 146 and 147:
Ketcher, Allan, “The Discriminati
Page 148 and 149:
Newton, Niles and Michael Newton,
Page 150 and 151:
Woody, Jane Divita, “Contemporary
Page 152 and 153:
INDEX Ford, Clellan S., 8, 15, 49,
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INDEX in early childhood with adult
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