Christmas - Norwood Paragon

www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk Christmas 2009

Editorial
This festive edition of Blah has a modest Christmas theme, mainly because it’s
the fourth edition of the year and it’s out in late December! Our cover shows two
of our riders, James and Angus, rowing across the sky and while they are from
different sporting backgrounds they are now confirmed cyclists and have done
pretty well in their first proper season by picking up club trophies and moving up
the road race categories.
Our riders are still active with some bravely competing in winter series road
races and others out on club runs which are now in full swing. Do take a look at
Marcus’s regular email updates detailing the numerous on and off road club
runs.
With the year almost done we can now think ahead to next years’ targets.
Personally, I like a challenge and in recent years it’s been the London Marathon,
The Three Peaks yacht race and last year the Transalp. For next year I’m
musing over the channel swim or a 12 hour, decisions decisions!
Our new club kit order will be here early in the new year and my question to all
the racing members is who will take our first victory wearing the new club strip?
Free tea & cake will be available to that rider at a subsequent club run.
Happy Christmas and all the very best for New Year.
Stephen Roach
Newport Velodrome Track session Sunday 14th November 2010 12-3pm
There’s nothing like a bit of forward planning and James Stuart has done this by
booking Newport Velodrome for a private club track session next Autumn. The original
plan was to book something this Winter, but with the seeming popularity of cycling the
track was booked out to midsummer! This will be a great opportunity for you to ride on
a world class 250m velodrome and see how easy or hard it is. We’ll book a coach to
tutor us as necessary but also run some races / competitions. This could also be a
great opportunity to go for a club track record, if you’re that way inclined. Have a look
at the handbook and see what you could go for.
We’ll let you know further details next year, but for now – get the date in your diaries.
Mallorca training camp
We shall be running our training camp again next March at Arenal to the east of
Palma. The last few years have been a great success with fine weather and a solid
week of riding that really got our riders started for the season. John Masters is
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 2 Christmas 2009

co-ordinating participants for the camp, so please contact him to
express an interest & he’ll let you know further details.
Casual Wear
We shall be buying a supply of short sleeved polo shirts in gold with
the club motif emblazoned on the breast. Orders will be placed in
time for next season and they will be great to wear post race, ideally
for podium presentations. They will also be handy at our open
promotions where officials, organisers & marshals alike can stand
out from the crowd.
Predicted cost for these shirts is £11
Club Subs
2009/10 Annual Subscription: Can you please make John Pocock’s job easier by sending
your subs in to him asap.
Senior First and Second Claim - £20.00 Social - £10.00 Juvenile / Junior £5.00
Cheques made payable to: Norwood Paragon CC
Retirement
Maurice Jefferies has been a member of the Paragon for over 50 years and made the
long trip from Canada to attend our centenary dinner in 2004. He still has many friends
in the club who would be interested in knowing that he has retired from International
Commissairing. Maurice has spent 37 years as a UCI International Commissaire
working at many World Championships, Regional Games and International events, both
as a commissaire and an anti-doping inspector..
________________________________________________________________
Racing Review 2009
The club has had a great year of racing with even more victories than in 2008 with over
80 podiums and 32 wins in races, competitions and team events throughout the year.
This is a great achievement and underlines our strength in depth with 10 different riders
claiming victories in 2009. Several riders have progressed up through the ranks with
another strong finish to the year from the road racers.
Following on from two successful training camps in Majorca the Paragon team has
bonded well to work as a cohesive unit on the road helping ensure there is always a
Paragon in the break or lining out the bunch for the sprint with Steve Calland in
particular proving unbeatable on many occasions. Here are some of this year’s
highlights across the disciplines:
Road Racing
Steve Calland – South East Divisional Champion, winner of the Easter 3 Day with a 1 st
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 3 Christmas 2009

and 2 nd places in stages 2 & 3. Steve also won at Chertsey and in a 2/3 race on the
Bletchingley circuit promoted by Addiscombe. Calland was 3 rd in Surrey League
rankings and gained promotion to 1 st category. Steve also rode very strongly in the
FBD Insurance Ras in the Surrey League team where he got a top twenty finish in
one of the stages. Calland is also the Paragon 2009 Road Race Champion.
James Stuart - won at Dunsfold Park (E/1/2) and Walliswood (3) this year on his way to
gaining his 2 nd category. He also finished 3 rd in the Surrey League Handicap
Champs and was 10 th in Surrey League rankings.
Chris Moores – 4 wins and 4 podiums for elite rider Moores in the Imperial Winter
Series where he finished 2 nd overall. Sadly a knee injury in March has put him out
for the rest of the season.
Angus MacAlister – another new member with a lot of power! MacAlister started the
season with 2 wins in the Imperial Winter Series and has had 6 podium finishes
throughout the year including an impressive 2 nd place to Alex Dowsett in the
Finsbury Park E/1/2. MacAlister rounded off the year with 2 wins on consecutive
days in the SERRL Winter Series which also gave him promotion to 1 st category.
Marcus Brueton – several top 10 finishes for Marcus who regularly rode with Dave
Kennett in a supporting role for various Paragons. Brueton got a win in the Imperial
Series and rode the Ras de Cymru and Dengies Marsh where he finished just in the
top 20.
Nigel Carpenter – 1 st place at Alfold (2/3) and a several top 10 finishes from the man
who “wasn’t going to race this year.
Mike Ladbrook – 1 st place at Wivelsfield Green Handicap and some strong rides
showing potential for next year.
Paul McGuigan – 1 st place at Hog Hill (4) in his first full season of road racing.
There have been a lot of strong rides from various Paragons throughout the year with
many riders like Dave K or Andy McKie sacrificing themselves in order to get
club-mate on the podium. Likewise there have been some impressive supporting
rides from Kevin Davey, Niall Pugin, Alex Mackmin, Russell Painter, Ben Moores
and Jason Humphries.
Norwood Paragon missed out on gaining a 5 th win at Crawley CC’s 2/3 RR at Rusper,
but with MacAlister in the 2 man break they did get 2 nd , 3 rd , 4 th and 6 th !
This is just a summary of what has been a very busy year on the road, which has seen
the Paragon move up the rankings. In the Surrey League the club is the 3 rd highest
ranked senior team and 3 rd team in the South East Regional Rankings.
Time Trials
Several new PBs were set this year by various Paragons with James Stuart and Steve
Calland setting some fast times in 2009.
Stuart – new PBs’ 10 21:02 and 25 – 57:05 with the latter placing him 12 th in the Robin
Buchan Memorial.
Stuart also won both the club evening TT series and the Circuit TT Championship.
Calland won the Worthing Excelsior 10 on 2 nd July with a new PB of 20:36.
Dan Sullivan was 37 th in the National Student 10 with a PB of 22:29.
Marcus Brueton finally broke his PB of five years with a time of 21:54 in the Old
Portlians Open 10 (G10/57).
E Sussex CA Sporting 24m 2up - Calland rode in a composite team with Mark Clothier
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 4 Christmas 2009

to finish 2 nd (55:22)
SCCU Sporting 10 – 11 th Brueton (24:26) and fastest on a road bike, 3 rd Lady – Kaye
Patton (30:17).
Redhill sporting TT Feb – Stuart 10 th (44:31), Russell Painter 13 th (46:10) Paul James
21 st (47:34).
Stuart, Brueton and Simon Hazeldine dominated the local TTs in which one of them
always finished in the top 3 with just Ben Instone their main obstacle.
The Paragon fielded 2 teams in the Surrey League 4up, however once again the A
Team suffered mechanicals and could only manage 7 th place with the B Team in 8 th .
Hill Climbs
Catford – 13 th Ben 2:14, 20th James Stuart 2:18, 24 th Simon Warren 2:09, Phil Burgess
2:31 – Paragon team 3 rd.
Bec – 16 th Simon Warren 2:11, 22 nd Ben Moores 2:14, 28 th James Stuart 2:16, Phil
Burgess 2:42 – Paragon team 3 rd .
Warren is 2009 Paragon Hill Climb Champion scaling Ranmore in 2:37.
National Hill Climb Championships – 37 th Warren 4:14.
Crawley Wheelers Staplefield Hill – 1 st Stuart 5:40, 2 nd Brueton 5:50.
Redmon CC Ranmore Hill – 4 th Brueton 2:49.
Kingston Wheelers Leith Hill – 8 th Warren 4:10
Brighton Mitre Steyning – 10 th Brueton 4:43
Brighton Mitre Mill Hill – 9 th Brueton 8:30
MTB
The off-road team took part in a wide range of races including local XC series, Mountain
Mayhem 24hr race and Gorrick Enduros plus Dusk til Dawn and Transalp.
Mountain Mayhem 24hr – Vets 2 nd - NP ‘A Team’ (Steve Watkins, Marcus Brueton,
Kaye Patton, Nic Ffoulkes & Stephen Roach), they were also 7 th overall in Mixed.
Gorrick Enduro – 4 laps – 1 st Patton; 5 laps - 11 th Ffoulkes, 13 th Watkins.
Transalp MTB Stage Race –Mixed Pairs 37 th – Patton & Watkins rode. Ffoulkes &
Roach rode as a pair, but Roach missed a stage due to illness and so Ffoulkes got
a solo finish of 47 th .
Gorrick Spring Rd 1 – G Veteran male – 7 th Watkins.
Gorrick Spring Rd 2 – G Veteran male - 5th Watkins, 19 th Andy Murray, Veteran female –
Patton 3 rd .
Southern XC Champs – Masters – 4 th Brueton (Club MTB Champion); G Veteran – 3 rd Watkins.
Brighton Big Dog Enduro – Mixed Pairs – 4 th Watkins & Patton.
Dusk till Dawn – Mixed Pairs – 5 th Watkins & Patton, Men’s Pairs – 32 nd Dave Mascall &
Simon Allerdice (composite)
Cyclocross
Andy Murray was the only Paragon racing Cyclo-Cross this year. He put in some strong rides
despite often being the oldest competitor in the field.
Stanmer Park London Cross Series 70 th . Herne Hill – 49 th (20 th vet), Stanmer Pk (2) 57 th (21
V).
No doubt if he hadn’t cut his racing season short Murray would have put in an impressive ride in
the 3 Peaks as planned.
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 5 Christmas 2009

Track
Simon Warren has raced the track at Herne Hill and in the Nationals this year with
several top 5 results including
Herne Hill Spring Series – Open Scratch – 1 st .
Herne Hill Series 26 th Sept – Omnium -3 rd , Scratch – 3 rd , Points Race – 3 rd
National Track Championships – Kilo – 17 th with a new club record of 1:12.9
Triathlon
The Paragon had three triathletes this year: Nic Ffoulkes, Fraser Dawson and Kevin
Bailey.
Lanzarote Ironman – Dawson 35 th in category (45-49) 11:00, Ffoulkes 94 th 13:22.
A2 Southwater Sprint Relays – Ffoulkes, Dawson & Bailey rode as team – 2 nd in
category and 4 th overall.
Cyclosportives
Several Paragons rode various Sportives this year with most of them attaining Gold
standard. Notable highlights include:
London–Paris – James Stuart was 5 th on GC and 1 st King of the Mountains.
Tour of Wessex – Steve Watkins & Kaye Patton.
La Marmotte – 5 Paragons took part with Stuart the quickest (6:49) – 55 th and 1 st Brit
home.
Fred Whitton Challenge – Simon Warren was fastest in the 100km event.
Land’s End to John O’Groats - Marcus Brueton rode this for charity with one other in
four and half days.
Promotions
Stephen Roach successfully promoted the Les Ingman Road Race, which attracted a
full field of quality riders. The event was won by our very own Steve Calland.
James Shrubsall put on a good show for The Robin Buchan “25”, which was won by
Steve Denis (East Grinstead CC) in a time 52:45.
The SCRL Handicap Championship Road Race, promoted by Nigel Carpenter at Alfold
with a large turnout of Paragons racing and helping. James Stuart took 3 rd place
with Gary Dodd (Sigma Sport) the winner.
Summary
Once again the club has been able to improve on its results of the previous year with
the Norwood Paragon claiming victories across all disciplines and at all levels. The
club has reinforced its position as one of the premier clubs in the South East and
continues to flourish against many sponsored clubs and teams. The club demonstrated
this at the end of the season where they fielded a strong team every week in
September and proved particularly dominant leading to 7 podium finishes in 6 weeks.
The standard of both the riders and the club-runs is such that they are now attracting
the best of the local riders to train with them both on road and off-road including current
divisional and national champions.
It has been great to see the Paragon spirit growing throughout the year, with the
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 6 Christmas 2009

popular Majorca training camps, La Marmotte Alpine trip and Newbury weekend
providing more opportunities for some challenging riding in good company. The
resulting fitness of riders has meant that they have always been able to rely on a strong
selection of team-mates in the road races and handicaps to help ensure a good result.
Thanks again to the support of members, various partners and family throughout the
year. The Paragon can look forward to some great racing and successful
performances in 2010 where they will hopefully see the return to form of Chris Moores
and Mike Hawkins with James Stuart and Angus MacAlister no doubt snapping at their
heels.
_____________________________________________________________________
Annual Dinner and Prize Presentation – 14th October
by Stephen Roach
This year’s annual dinner was once again held at Woodcote Park golf club. There
was a good turnout from our members and guests with the room decorated in club
banners, trophies and a rolling slide show displaying the year’s endeavours. While
relatively formal, the event is nice and relaxed with drinks in the bar prior to a formal sit
down dinner. The food this year was superb, with our chef and his team doing a fine job
with crab cake starter, lamb loin for main and then sweet stuff for sweeties. The coffee
course was made all the more entertaining when Pennie challenged her table to the
‘after eight’ game. During the meal there was the usual cross toasting which caused a
few smiles.
Our guest speaker, Pete Hamilton did a great job with anecdotes from his time in
the club which was both informative and entertaining. The clubs first officer, Steve
Calland responded for us very well with a few laughs to boot. It was then time for main
event where our club champions and prize winners received their accolades. Alan’s
better half Yve Clark presented the prizes and all the recipients lined up for a group
photo. It was good to see some new names on the trophies this year.
The raffle went well
with a long list of prizes
that our compare (Les
Black) found slightly
overwhelming. Some
superb raffle donations
from club members made
you wish your ticket
would be called. I was
especially pleased when I
picked up the star prize
of a Pinnarello Prince
carbon frameset!
Special thanks to John
Cleeve who did a fine job
organising the event
once more.
Our 2009 prize winners
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 7 Christmas 2009

Freewheel Competition by Patrick Trainor
‘Skin it’ to Win it!
Now I know what Tom Boonen feels like when the cobbled
classics come round. The pressure to win both Flanders and
Roubaix in the same week is overwhelming for him and since
I had won the club’s dart’s championship a few days beforehand,
the pressure was on me to do the double with the club’s
Social trophies.
Come Sunday morning and the atmosphere among the assembled
riders at the top of Tilburstow Hill was more like a
grand tour prologue as everyone was eyeing up each other’s
choice of equipment. The more experienced among us,
though, knew that this is as much about technique as equipment so it was anybody’s
game. Maybe Brian knew something we didn’t with his
Brompton - small wheels for quicker acceleration, Ian on the
trike - cornering faster by Godstone Farm or anyone with
mudguards who knew spray obscuring vision on the descent
could lead to a panicky dab on the brakes and lose crucial
momentum. When four times Club Freewheel Champion
Mike Hawkins turned up on a bike probably worth more than
all the rest of the bikes in the field put together we knew he
meant business.
Dave Mascall
Toe straps and zip ties were added to secure the pedals in
place and with Stephen Roach grabbing behinds and Mike
the bars, riders were ‘let go’ to trundle down the hill. To avoid
drafting, it was roughly one minute between riders which helped to add drama at the bottom.
As riders wobbled off one by one, the time came for my run.
My ambition to win and do the double were clear as I
donned my 20 year old Lemond style Giro aero helmet with
matching huge Oakleys much to the amusement of those
gathered. Off I went and straight into the tuck position.
Building up speed by the farm, the crowd at the finish came
into sight and judging by the comments as I passed, they
more impressed with my performance then my attire! One
by one I passed the markers on the road to inch into the
lead.
Stephen Roach
Ian Murray
There were only a few riders left and as Dave Mascall came up tantalisingly short on my
marker (even though he bunny-hopped passed my position, the judges intervened and
his initial stopping distance was taken) I knew there was only one man who could beat
me. When Mike came into view in a perfect tuck position and wearing a skinsuit (where
did that come from, he was fully clothed when I last saw him!), I knew the game was
over. As he drifted past, my childhood dream of doing the ‘Social Double’ ended but
Mike proved a worthy winner by four bike lengths (yes, I measured it when everyone had
gone). Mike then went back up the hill to get his winter gear back on faster than he
came down as bare skin and near freezing temperatures don’t mix. Thankfully the assembled
press, lady from the Croydon Advertiser, were ushered away so I didn’t have to
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 8 Christmas 2009

go over my disappointment in the glare of the public eye.
Ah well, there’s always next year....
Results:
1st Mike Hawkins
2nd Dave Mascall
3rd Patrick Trainor
4th Stephen Roach
5th Steve Watkins
6th Marcus Brueton
7th Anthony Chandlen
8th Andy Murray
9th Charlie Rogers
10th Ray Puttick
11th Ian Murray
Mike Hawkins in full flight
Post match reflection
SHIMANO PRESS RELEASE
STOP PRESS - Shimano’s new Di2 Electronic groupset wins historic title.
That’s right, just simply having the groupset on your bike means you can win titles without
having to turn the pedals. At the recent Norwood Paragon Club Freewheeling Championship in
Surrey, England, former multiple Club Freewheeling Champion Mike Hawkins returned to the
race and crushed the opposition using the new electronic Dura Ace groupset in a domineering
display of technique and technology in perfect harmony. ‘Simply awesome’ was how Hawkins
34, cycling journalist from Surrey, described Shimano’s new electronic groupset. ‘I didn’t even
have to turn the pedals and I still won, just think how many races I’ll win next season when I
actually use the gears!’
Event runner up, Patrick Trainor 36, darts player also from Surrey, was suitably impressed with
the new wonder gear. ‘I thought I had the edge with the retro aero helmet and sunnies but I was
so under equipped against such superior modern equipment I just didn’t have a look in. It’s a bit
expensive though, I heard it costs a million quid or something but if you can win races without
pedalling then it’s well worth it and I want it!’.
Shimano are also said to be impressed with the win claiming this proves that battery life is not
an issue with the new groupset as Hawkins didn’t miss-shift once on his title run. However, they
would not reveal if the toe strap used to secure his crank for the winning run was included in the
groupset price or was an optional extra.
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 9 Christmas 2009

Walking Weekend - Piddletrenthide, Dorset
9th—11th October 2009 by Valerie Taylor
Last year's trip to Sherborne was so enjoyable we decided to return to Dorset
again this year. Rolling hills, attractive villages full of thatched cottages, welcoming
pubs, friendly people - all the right ingredients for a walking weekend. We established
in April that the Poachers Inn in Piddletrenthide could accommodate us so we were all
set. The unusual name originates from Piddle meaning a clear stream, trente meaning
30 and hide meaning a plot of land - thus a clear stream running through 30 plots of
land.
We nearly had 21 participants this year, but at the last minute John Cleeve was
hospitalised, and then Bob Shepperd decided to check how the facilities at Dorchester
hospital dealt with his mild heart attack, so we ended up with 18 happy walkers. We
welcomed back with open arms Graham O'Sullivan who had organised these walking
weekends for many years, and who this year brought along his girl friend Tina. Also in
attendance were two of Valerie's Swiss friends who thoroughly enjoyed their
introduction to an English walking weekend. Even coming from such grandiose
scenery in their home country, the Swiss ladies thought the English countryside
beautiful, and the hills not quite so strenuous.
On Saturday we walked over the hills in sunshine to the Thimble Inn in
Piddlehinton. The main happening on this day was that Marilyn's boots stolen from
outside the pub and a shabby pair left in their place. Is this a sign of things to come?
Awful. Halfway through our afternoon walk we descended on the empty Piddle Inn,
White Lackington and increased their day's taking enormously by ordering 18 drinks,
before resuming our walk along the valley footpath to our home base. We had live
music provided in the hotel that night, but unlike last year's music, it was not to our
taste - the generation gap perhaps …
On the Sunday we were very lucky to get back to the hotel before the heavens
opened up. Sunday was a day of hills. Up, down, up down, up down - home. Phew!
Again beautiful scenery and thumping hearts but being the older generation nobody
had any apparatus/computer for measuring our hearts/pulse rates which was probably
just as well. Lunch was taken at the Brace of Pheasants in Plush which is not far from
Piddletrenthide, but the organisers ensured that steep hills and thus views were part of
the master plan..
We only walked about nine or ten miles each day, but it would have been more
interesting to have measured the accumulated altitude - like one does in the Alps. The
Poacher's Inn is recommended but advanced booking is required as the hotel was
completely booked.
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 10 Christmas 2009

Some of us visited the National Trust property in Kingston Lacy, near Wimborne
Minster on the way home and walked in the magnificent gardens, saw the famous North
Dorset cattle and enjoyed the sunshine.
Of the committee of three who did the organisation, Pam was the expert rambler,
John Pocock was naturally enough the treasurer, and Valerie the secretary - naturally.
________________________________________________________________________
Why not? by Stephen Roach
Belgium – seen by many as the heartland of European cycling,
so off went an intrepid group of Paragon’s and friends to experience
‘the scene’ on a wet & windy November weekend. Our remit was
simple; watch the cyclo cross world cup race at Koksijde, the Gent6
track race and soak up as much Belgian culture as possible.
Our trip began at the Cycling Weekly offices where we met
before the journey to the Channel tunnel. All went well until Ashford
where the M20 was at a standstill, so in the outside lane with the
engine turned off we discussed current affairs and I kicked started the
w/e as I revealed four very good friends called Stella. Within thirty
minutes we were on our way and before long we were through the
tunnel and hammering towards Belgium and our hotel in De Panne. Very fit cyclo cross rider
The driving conditions were awful and I was pleased Simon
Richardson was driving through the wind and rain. We reached De Panne in the dark rain – the
Belgian equivalent of Bournemouth on the North Sea.
Saturday dawned and after a pleasant breakfast, the hotel’s best feature, we were on our
way to the other side of town to Koksijde. This World Cup Cyclo cross race sees the cream of
riders competing and the enthusiasm of the riders is almost bettered by that of the crowd. An
estimated 6,000 spectators were there all making the most of the refreshments. As for the riders,
their performance was amazing as they road round quicker than I could ever hope to ride – and
they do it for just over an hour. To demonstrate the level of
these guys, our national champion Jodie Crawford finished the
race in 40th place!
We left Koksijde cold, tired and feeling lazy which meant most
of us were asleep with some of us relaxing a bit too much and
snoring away in the back of the car. Local knowledge helps and
the combined skills of Simon and Lionel meant we drove into
the heart of the city of Ghent without any problems. A small
walk from the underground car park and we were at our hotel
and then getting ready for the night ahead. We met in the hotel
bar for a small livener of Leffe and then were out in the rain
once again. A suitable restaurant was found beside the main
canal and we managed to nab a very nice table at the back of the
restaurant where we had superb steak washed down with more
authentic Belgian beer.
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 11 Christmas 2009

Time was getting on, so we were soon off in taxis to
the track. Upon arrival some of us picked up our
tickets from the box office while others got their press
packs from the press office!
The Gent Six runs for six nights of racing with pairs
competing for the overall title. Some races are almost
exhibition races while the competitive ones are full on
and it’s fair to say that the strongest pair win. There
are derny races, points races, scratch races and of
course the Madison which is my favourite. You know
you’re getting into the racing when you start getting dizzy from watching as your head is going
round and round as you keep your eye on the riders, although this was also due to me having the
cheap tickets standing in the track centre.
Along with the track racing there are lots of fast
food outlets and bars – you even get a free beer voucher
on entry. Half way through the racing the music
sounded almost live and it was then that we were introduced
to the wonders of a Belgian singing sensation that
is Eddy Wally. If you’ve not heard of him then you
need to look him up – he struck a chord with all of us!
One of our party, Simon Smith, recently returned
from Australia was so impressed by the racing that he
Our party—trackside in Gent
cheekily asked to ring the bell and to our surprise they
agreed. So up he went later on and rang the bell for the flying 200 metre race. He did let himself
down though by asking none other than Patrick Sercu: "So, have you ever had a go at this?"
"Yes," replied Sercu, "I won it 11 times." Simon told us, “I thought he was some bloke from the
council”, I kid you not!
Before long it was gone midnight and we left the track and went on our way back to the
centre and with our heightened excitement from the evening – or was it the alcohol, we jumped
aboard the VIP coach outside and literally bluffed a ride to the town centre. Gent is a bigger
version of Brugge but with far less tourists and being a
University town the nightlife is prominent, so we
bowled into the liveliest hostelry we could find and the
night then became a blur. Without going into too much
detail it was a fun night out and when we all re-grouped
for an 11am departure next morning we found we were
still one man down. Within half an hour the main
protagonist returned so we were soon heading home in
sunny conditions back to rainy England.
Simon & Eddy Wally
It was a great trip to Belgium, despite the grim weather.
The racing was superb as were the laughs and
shenanigans had by our entire group.
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 12 Christmas 2009

2009 Darts Championship – Blood on the oche
by Matt Lamy
“Ladeeeeeees and gennnnnnellllmen..... LET'S....PLAY.....DARTS!” That's how Keith
Butler might have started proceedings at the annual Paragon Darts Champs (better
known as 'PDC' – that's a little darts joke for you, sportsfans). Instead, though, this
highlight of the sporting calendar started with equally immortal line: “Matt, heads or
tails?”
Few could deny it was a night of bizarre
happenings. The pre-event favourites were
upended, Alan 'Not Eric' Bristow actually
appeared in the flesh, and Marcus 'The
Plasterboard Punisher' Brueton managed to
score with all three darts in a single go, and then
finished on a double... twice. That last fact alone
will live long in the memory of all those privileged
enough to say, with pride: “I was there
when Marcus won two darts matches.” We shall
never see its like again.
But back to the event in hand, and with 10
expectant arrowsmiths lined up to take the oche,
The scoreboard
competitors were split into two groups of five for
the initial stage - a round robin event with the
winner and runner-up from each group going
through to the semi-finals. In group one lurked Keith 'The Guvnor' Butler, Matt 'The
Moral Winner' Lamy, Patrick 'The Luck Of The Fecking Oirish' Trainor (tell me if I'm
giving too much away all ready), Alan 'Not Eric' Bristow and old 'The Plasterboard
Punisher' himself.
By the time all fixtures had been played, Lamy had four wins out of four under his
straining belt, while Trainor and Brueton had two apiece. In the ensuing dart-off Trainor
managed to get the edge on a clearly delirious Brueton, securing the plucky little chap's
place in the next round.
Group two had some big guns: Brian 'The Silver Fox' Dalton, Dave 'The Quiet Assassin'
Adams, Steve 'The Stoat' Roche, Simon 'The Rampant Rabbit' Richardson and reigning
champion Andy 'The Javelin' Murray. 'The Javelin' had spent a fair portion of the year
being immobile, which in most endurance pursuits would be a problem, but in dartland
it's the equivalent of permanent altitude training. Second only to snooker players,
dartsmen have taken inaction - with the exception of regular repeated right forearm
movement (oo-er) - to new levels of athletic perfection. So if anything, Murray should
have been at the top of his game, and he quickly showed it.
By the final fixture in group two both Murray and Richardson had a perfect score, three
wins from three matches each. But like two legends of the ring, somebody was about to
lose their unbeaten record as they faced each other. Most sensible money was on
Murray and he didn't disappoint, dispatching Richardson with all the glamour of Jocky
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 13 Christmas 2009

Wilson in his prime.
So the semis were set: Lamy faced Richardson, and Trainor would take on Murray.
Despite a spirited performance and a high-quality game, Richardson was pipped to the
double finish by Lamy who secured his place in the final. But in the other semi Murray
seemed to let the moment overcome him. Big scores went adrift, his nerves were
rattled, and in the end it was Trainor that battled through to reach his second final in two
years.
Befitting a major sporting spectacular, the headline event saw a change in format and
was a best-of-three affair. Trainor won the toss and threw first, quickly racking up some
big scores by concentrating on the '19' bed at the bottom of the board, which, to be fair
to the wee fella, is probably the equivalent of aiming at the '20' bed for normal-size
humans. Soon he was down to a finish and, in a flash, his arrows hit the correct double
bed. Round one to Trainor.
Lamy was first to throw in round two
and hit some big numbers while Trainor
seemed to flounder. By the time Lamy
reached the checkout stage he was a
good couple of hundred points ahead
and looking comfortable. Then, away
from public gaze, a quiet moment of
concern. In between throws somebody
whispered: “Matt, just remember Andy
Murray beat Paddy in the final last year.
Look what's happened to him since.”
Whether it was the psychological effect
of this thinly-veiled threat, or a
Patrick Trainor—2009 Darts Champion
deliberate wish to keep all his faculties,
Lamy missed double 16, then double
eight, then double four, then double two, then languished in the house of madness,
double one. Meanwhile Trainor whittled down his target score. Finally, with Lamy all at
sea and unable to focus, yer man popped in the winning double. Trainor revelled in the
adoration, Lamy quietly wept in the corner, and 'The Guvnor' unpacked the silverwear.
Then it was time for a pose and a quick shake of hands as the hallowed trophy was
officially presented to our victor.
I'll get you next time Trainor.
______________________________________________________________________
Darts quote of the season:
While on a finish, Marcus miraculously scored a single number to leave his teammate on
a preferred double. Rather than risk the double and go bust an esteemed team mate
offered Marcus some simple advice when he asked what to go for, “Just throw it at the
f****n floor”. You really had to be there :-)
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 14 Christmas 2009

2009 – How was it for you?
We posed a few questions to our club mates to find out...............
Alan Bristow (Our club president):
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Pushing the riders off in the Presidents "12"
Rider of the year? James Stuart.
Memorable moment of the year? Being at the finish of the inter club "10" with the Addiscombe.
Favourite race? Presidents "12"
One thing you'd rather forget? Pressing the key to go into "Google" layout on the computer.
Jason Humphries:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Not sure I achieved anything other than keeping my pro
chipper licence but my best ride was for sure at the Wally Gimber.
Who is your rider of the year? The Goose (Angus Macallister - for generally being a monster)
What’s your most memorable moment of the year? Signing on with Flavio Zappi & Yanto Barker
then finding out exactly how tough it is riding a UCI 1.2 race and only lasting 45 miles
What was your favourite race of 2009? RAS de Cymreag
One thing you’d rather forget? Loosing Russ in the team time trial at the RAS then having to finish
with the monsters that were Dave & Marcus (oh and a Masters World Champ Mooning at us)
James Stuart:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Mmmm tricky one, I think my Marmotte ride in 6hr 49mins
has got to be the winner although very pleased with some of the other wins.
Who is your rider of the year? Mr Calland for his win at the Les Ingman road race and the divisional
championships
What's your most memorable moment of the year? Watching the Tour out in France and especially the
penultimate stage on Mt Ventoux with 1/2 million other people.
What was your favourite race of 2009? 2/3 Rusper race NP in 2,3,4,6 places
One thing you’d rather forget? Double puncture during Les Ingman!
Paul McGuigan:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? First win and first full season of racing.
Who is your rider of the year? James Stuart (quickly followed by Wiggo’s 4th Place in the Tour was
good, but he hasn't got 1st Brit in the La Marmotte on his palmares has he!).
What's your most memorable(s) moment of the year? Close run thing between, Steve Calland fending off
no less than four London Dynamo riders for the win at the Les Ingman, racing with James Stuart
at Walliswood to secure 1st and 4th and my first excursion to the Alps and bagging the Glandon,
Telegraph, Galibier and Alp d'Huez.
What was your favourite race of 2009? Surrey League 3rd Cat, Walliswood
One thing you’d rather forget? Going 'pop' during the Surrey League TTT
Mike Hawkins:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Selling our house. 35 separate viewings took it's toll.
Who is your rider of the year? Danny Macaskill - check out his videos on YouTube.
What's your most memorable moment of the year? December 2nd and the French Doctor telling me I'd
broken my back, I won't be forgetting that in a hurry.
What was your favourite race of 2009? Having only raced three times, I'd say it had to be the handicap
around Hungry Hill. There was a massive thunder storm after a couple of laps and on two
separate occasions people crashed in front of me but I managed to stay
on long enough to ride back to the car - which was a relief.
One thing you¹d rather forget? Cutting down all of Marcus' race reports from the winter into a
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 15 Christmas 2009

sensible, hopefully readable, condensed version to go in Blah.
Carolyn Heeps:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Becoming fit enough to come out on both Saturday and
Sunday rides (on the same weekend!) and not disgracing myself. Not so bad for an old girl.
Who is your rider of the year? All Paragon riders I have ridden with get my vote as Riders of the Year
as everyone has been really supportive and encouraging, whilst also challenging me, and that's
why I have been able to improve this year (and not telling me to join an "easier" club helps).
There are too many to name - but thanks to all those wheels I have sat on to get home along with
the occasional push up a climb to get back on the group. (The Saturday regulars have been
particularly helpful and I am also impressed by the younger members too)........ Does that all
sound a bit gushing? It’s deserved.
What’s your most memorable moment of the year? Most memorable event is turning up to a club ride
with my Cervelo for first time and suddenly not being so left behind on the hills. I haven't raced
but does being first woman home in less than 5 hours in one of the Southern Sportives count
(Wantage) as a favourite? (Also a memorable moment).
One thing you’d rather forget? Not much that I want to forget about riding with Paragon, so the only
thing I want to forget is a Peak District sportive in foul weather in October and seeing a few
casualties in ditches along the way who forgot that rain washes gravel onto the bends.
Patrick Trainer:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Losing 10kgs!
Who is your rider of the year? Would have to be Tom Boonen for the way he rode Roubaix.
What’s your most memorable moment of the year? Riding with the pros at the Tour of Menorca
What was your favourite race of 2009? Not a race but the Tour of the Cornfields sportive was a real
blast, a 100km cyclo cross loop!
One thing you’d rather forget? Booking flights to Malaga for the club Majorcan training camp!
Nigel Dinning:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Getting Fit!
Who is your rider of the year? Cavendish
What's your most memorable moment of the year? First Race in UK - Dunsfold
What was your favourite race of 2009? A lap of a Greek island against a local rider while on holidays
One thing you’d rather forget? My dog died :-(
Chris Moores:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Putting on nearly a stone and having to take two suit to the
tailors to get them 'taken out' - they should do it for free. Instead I had to suffer the indignity of
handing over £50 for the privilege.
I quite like the fact that for three months I was the UK's top ranked rider, even if nobody else
rides the winter series races!
Who is your rider of the year? James Stuart. Superb engine and a top man. I’m expecting big things
next year!
What’s your most memorable moment of the year? Richmond Park, 0635, one Tuesday in January.
Freezing cold, pitch dark, closed roads, heavy legs. Angus Macallister half wheeling and absolutely
destroying me for a lap. Out-punched up Kingston Hill for the first time. I crawled
home....... it’s not easy to forget being dominated! (I had a backpack on, on the commuter.
'goose was 'tooled up' - does it still count?)
What was your favourite race of 2009? Paris-Nice, seeing Contador crack the day after destroying the
field. Eurosport coverage of the big races has saved me from going bonkers this year.
One thing you’d rather forget? Easy. I’ve lost a big part of my life without the cycling and the Paragon.
Would give up just about everything to get it back again.
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 16 Christmas 2009

Nick Ffoulkes:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Finishing the Trans Alp.
Who is your rider of the year? I know it should be a well known pro rider. But for me the rider of the
year is a good mate of mine a John Watkins (John The End is Ni!). This being because his
came off his mountain bike back in 2007 and shattered his femur in three places. It had to be
pinned. John being 60 years old thinking he would not ride again. But after building up last year,
he is back on form. Riding everything we ride off road. Even mad Dave’s North Shore in Redlands,
what a hero!
What’s your most memorable moment of the year? Standing in the fountain in a small village at the end
of one of the Trans Alp stages absorbing the moment.
What was your favourite race of 2009? The Trans Alp again.............. sorry!
One thing you’d rather forget? Throwing up on the last lap of the marathon run at the end of the
Lanzarote Ironman Triathlon.
Simon Warren:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Winning the hill climb, at last.
Who is your rider of the year? Wiggo (Bradley Wiggins)
Whats your most memorable moment of the year? Riding up Bealach-na-Bar in Scotland, the pass over
to Applecross, north of Lochcarron. It was wet, windy, 7am and the sun was just clearing the
mountains, and there in the road I was faced by a stag looking right into my eyes, it gets no
wilder. Luckily he took pity on me and wandered off so I could complete this epic climb.
What was your favourite race of 2009? Tour de France
One thing you’d rather forget? Falling apart just the other side of La Valloire during the Marmotte. I
stopped for a pee and when I got back on my bike I had no legs. I just wanted the earth to open
up and swallow me as I was passed by rider after rider on the Galibier climb.
Steve Calland:
What is your biggest achievement of 2009? Winning the SE England road race championships and
finishing solo.
Who is your rider of the year? Bradley Wiggins for his ride in the tour
What’s your most memorable moment of the year? Winning the Les Ingman on a sunny day in front of
'The Paragon'
What was your favourite race of 2009? Mountain Mayhem 24hour
One thing you’d rather forget? Breaking my shoulder in a stupid accident doing 5mph!
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 17 Christmas 2009

Some good news from the club
We’ve managed to secure a deal with Trek following Steve Calland’s win in the divisional road
race. They were looking for a presence in the south east and wanted to support a traditional
club with a strong racing contingent and understandably chose the mighty Paragon. They have
designed this unique paint job for us and are prepared to supply as many bikes as we need,
just let the Steve know what size you would like and we should have the fleet on the road
soon.
STOP PRESS: Trek have discovered that Steve is keen to ride more mountain bike races and
is even contemplating taking up kite surfing. In view of this they have decided to withdraw the
deal.
___________________________________________________________________________
Festive Wordsearch
Goose
Track
Christmas
Review
Cross
Fit
Trek
Italy
Paragon
NP
Bicycle
Santa
MTB
Gent
Surrey
Editorial
Mallorca
Blah
Ride
Bike
Spoke
www.NorwoodParagon.co.uk 18 Christmas 2009