The Contribution of Women to Peace and Reconciliation

Cultural events form a framework in which people meet. Even today,
fourteen years after the end of the war they are well-attended. During
the war however, they played a special role. Art on the walls, in all the
rooms, music, theatre and readings ensured that people felt welcome,
and that, without always being conscious of the fact, that art was the
opposite of violence and destruction, that it was the expression of
human creative strength.
There has never been any destruction on the walls or of the art in the
rooms of the organization, even during the war, although all nationalities
from the former Yugoslavia were constantly there. Of course, many Germans
and other Berliners work in or visit Südost. “There’s a good atmosphere
here,” we hear many people say.
In the therapy groups, men and women reported week after week what
had happened to them in the camps and in the besieged cities, in Sarajevo,
in Srebrenica, and during the refugee treks: lootings, murder, expulsion,
torture, rape; quietly, during the first months, then ever more
loudly. After two years of group work, they were therapeutically sup ported
to imagine what they would do to their torturers. Thoughts of hatred and
revenge arose. It was very loud in the groups at that time. One day, a
man said, after another man had expressed a terrible revenge fantasy,
“And now that you’ve spoken it out, you don’t have to do it anymore.”
That was the turning point. Because this virtual brandishing of fangs
helped the people to defend themselves in their imagination, to find a
way out of their helplessness, and thus to regain their dignity. They now
started telling the stories of their neighbours on the other side who were
killed because they didn’t want to take part in the actions. In the camps,
they were tortured worst. After that came the stories about the times
before the war, when they had lived together peacefully with the others.
The meetings got quieter. There was even understanding expressed for
those who had looked down or aside during the war. “I don’t know how
I would have behaved in such a situation,” they would say.
These were very festive moments for me, because these people were
deeply ashamed that they had remained alive at all, while others had
been killed. And they were ashamed that people are able to do such ter-
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