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Afghan Story List<br />
1. Zerka’s Garden (mj)<br />
2. The Wisdom of Bas Bibi (mj)<br />
3. Making Cookies (Jo)<br />
4. Merza’s Heart (GM)<br />
5. Yunus’s Song (Jo)<br />
6. Leaving Home (mj)<br />
7. A New Friend (Jo)<br />
8. Reconciliation (Jo)<br />
9. Merza’s Anger (Jo)<br />
10.Making Peace (Jo)<br />
11.Lawang and the Ten-Foot Man (GM)<br />
12. A New Life (mj)<br />
13. Going Home (mj)<br />
14. Shareena and Kobra (mj)<br />
15. The End of the Journey (Kev)<br />
16. Building the Future (Jo)
Jameela’s Gifts<br />
Story # 1<br />
Written by: Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by: Yar Mohammad Taraky<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
2
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already<br />
experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their<br />
homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while<br />
working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Gifts”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: singing, growing, nurturing, beauty, humour,<br />
playfulness, laughter, love, friendship, happy memories, joy<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, religious<br />
devotion, affection, industry, giving, forgiveness, empathy, appreciation of<br />
3
virtuous actions, listening, reflection of and acceptance of feelings, caring,<br />
understanding, teaching<br />
Problem Issues: loneliness, longing for education, parental discord, sadness,<br />
physical and psychological trauma, anger, grief, loss, physical disability, feelings<br />
of worthlessness<br />
Healing Strategies: gardening, singing, playing, praying, giving, appreciation of<br />
beauty, service to others, empathy, consulting, honouring the dead, refocusing on<br />
happy memories<br />
4
Jameela’s Gifts<br />
Jameela sat in the garden, singing. She loved to sit near the flowers and the<br />
vegetables and sing to them sweet songs about growing strong and beautiful. Jameela was<br />
waiting for her little brother, Ahmed, to return from the Mosque so that they could water<br />
the garden together. Then she would ask him about what he learned. Jameela missed<br />
going to school and was lonely when Ahmed was gone.<br />
Jameela did not hear Ahmed sneaking quietly up behind her.<br />
“ Boo!” shouted Ahmed, making Jameela jump.<br />
“Ahmed, don’t do that! You scared me!” Jameela cried.<br />
shawl.<br />
“Oh, Jameela, its fun to make you jump!” Ahmed replied, playfully tugging at her<br />
Jameela tussled his hair. “ Let’s water the garden. I have been waiting for you. It’s<br />
more fun to do it together. What did you learn at the Mosque today?” Jameela asked.<br />
“Why do you always ask me that, Jameela?” asked Ahmed impatiently.<br />
“ I miss my school since it closed. I don’t get to see my friends very much<br />
anymore,” said Jameela while she filled the watering bucket.<br />
“Yes, but you stay home and tend the garden and sing songs. I will tell you what I<br />
did at the Mosque if you sing a song for me,” bargained Ahmed with a grin.<br />
“First we water. Then we play.” Jameela and Ahmed poured the water bucket into<br />
the trough together and watched the little river run toward the garden.<br />
5
Suddenly, their father’s raised voice startled them. He was yelling at their mother.<br />
Ahmed and Jameela stopped watering to listen. They looked at each other, sadly.<br />
hurting?”<br />
“ Jameela, Daddy is yelling a lot,” Ahmed said quietly. “Do you think his leg is<br />
“Daddy is always angry and upset since that bad day. Bibi Jan says that it will<br />
take a long time for him to be happy again,” replied Jameela. “She says that we should<br />
not be angry with Daddy when he yells. We should remember that he is sad because<br />
Uncle Yunus died. And he has to use those crutches now. I think that makes him angry,<br />
too. Bibi Jan says that Daddy misses doing his farming. She says he has too much time<br />
and not enough work. I wish Daddy could work again. I think he would be happy then.”<br />
“I miss Daddy telling me stories. He used to tell me stories everyday on the way<br />
to Mosque about the prophet Mohammed and all his companions.” Ahmed said<br />
longingly.<br />
“Maybe we could ask Daddy to tell us stories while we are watering in the<br />
garden?” suggested Jameela. The children continued to water, and there was silence from<br />
the house. “Let’s find the most beautiful tomato and bring it to Mama for tonight’s<br />
dinner.” Jameela always felt happy when she gave gifts from the garden to her family.<br />
As they looked through the garden, their older brother Abdullah returned from the<br />
fields. He walked with his head down, preoccupied, and did not notice the children.<br />
“Abdullah, Abdullah,” yelled Ahmed happily jumping up from the middle of the<br />
garden. “Look at the beautiful tomato we grew for Mama! I helped to grow it! Do you<br />
like it?”<br />
6
“Ahmed, I wish you wouldn’t jump up and scare people like that. It makes me<br />
very angry. And I don’t care about your stupid tomato.” stormed Abdullah as he walked<br />
past. “ Sometimes, you are such a brat.”<br />
Tears stung in Ahmed’s eyes. “Sorry, Abdullah, I didn’t mean to scare you,” said<br />
Ahmed ruefully.<br />
“Don’t worry, Ahmed. Abdullah is being very mean,” consoled Jameela.<br />
“Abdullah, you don’t have to make him cry just because you are in a bad mood.”<br />
“I’ve got more important things to worry about than tomatoes, Jameela,”<br />
admonished Abdullah, striding away.<br />
“Well, do you think you could help us with our lessons later, Abdullah? I need<br />
some help with my writing,” asked Jameela hopefully.<br />
“Jameela, I have no time for your lessons. I don’t have enough time for my own. I<br />
must do all the farm work that Dad and Uncle Yunus used to do and do my own chores. I<br />
hate those stupid animals!” Abdullah strode off angrily.<br />
Jameela and Ahmed watch their brother sadly.<br />
“He used to teach me reading writing every day,” said Jameela.<br />
“And he used to play ball with me and Uncle Yunus” Ahmed sighed.” Maybe<br />
Bibi Jan knows why Abdullah doesn’t like us anymore.”<br />
“Ahmed, Abdullah still loves us. But maybe, Bibi Jan knows why he has changed.<br />
He is not the same since the landmine.” Jameela and Ahmed ran to find Bibi Jan who was<br />
sitting in the shade knitting a sweater for Jameela.<br />
7
“Bibi, is my sweater almost finished?” Jameela asked excitedly, forgetting for the<br />
moment why she had come to see Bibi Jan.<br />
“Yes, my love, soon you will be wearing it.” Bibi Jan’s voice was low and sweet<br />
and gentle. She was known throughout the village for her wise and kind words. “That is a<br />
most ripe and red tomato. It must enjoy your singing, Jameela, to grow into such a fine<br />
tomato. And Ahmed, I noticed that you have been helping with the watering. You help<br />
the whole family when you help in the garden.”<br />
“Bibi Jan, we came to ask you why Abdullah won’t help us with our lessons<br />
anymore. He’s always mad at us and doesn’t spend any time with us,” said Jameela.<br />
“Yes, and he won’t play ball with me,” pouted Ahmed.<br />
“I see that you are both sad that you have not been able to learn and play with<br />
your big brother these last few months. This tells me that you both love him very much<br />
and that you miss the happier times we all enjoyed before. We must try to understand the<br />
sadness of others and help them to find joy again. What could you do that might help<br />
Abdullah be joyful again?”<br />
“How did he lose his joy? When I lose my ball, I find it under the bushes or in<br />
the garden. Do you think that is where Abdullah’s joy is?” Ahmed asked, puzzled.<br />
Bibi Jan laughed her rich, deep laugh. “ Ahmed, you might be right! Jameela a<br />
flower from the garden placed beside Abdullah’s books will help him to remember your<br />
love of him and the beauty of Allah’s creations. You and Abdullah can take a bouquet of<br />
flowers to Yunus’ grave together and say a prayer. And Ahmed, if you throw the ball to<br />
8
Abdullah, he will catch it and throw it back. Maybe he will find that it feels good to play<br />
even for just a short time, and he will begin to play ball with you again.”<br />
“I am going to choose the most colourful and delicate flower for Abdullah right<br />
now and ask him if he wants to visit the grave with me!” Jameela ran excitedly back to<br />
the garden.<br />
Ahmed looked sad. He rolled his ball around on the ground.<br />
“You feel as if you have lost your friend,” suggested Bibi Jan. Ahmed nodded.<br />
“Abdullah lost his friend, too.”<br />
“He didn’t lose me. I’m still here!” exclaimed Ahmed.<br />
“He no longer has Uncle Yunus’ friendship. When Abdullah was little, Yunus and<br />
Abdullah used to ride on the old bicycle to school together. They used to laugh and play<br />
jokes on each other. They played ball and worked in the fields together. Now Abdullah is<br />
very sad that Uncle Yunus is dead. He feels very angry that the landmine killed his<br />
friend.”<br />
“I know how he can feel better about Uncle Yunus!” Ahmed shouted, jumping up<br />
excitedly. “You told me that if I miss Uncle Yunus, I can remember his voice and<br />
remember all the happy times together and I can dream good dreams about him. And<br />
Bibi, I do! Every night, I think of the time we lay under the tree by the garden, just me<br />
and Uncle Yunus and Abdullah and we told stories and jokes and laughed. I am going to<br />
tell Abdullah to remember that time too!!”<br />
“Yes Ahmed, you will help him find joy again,” Bibi Jan told her grandson as he<br />
skipped off toward the house. She turned to look at Jameela in the garden, singing, and<br />
9
watched as she carefully selected a flower for Abdullah. Then Bibi Jan returned to her<br />
knitting and smiled.<br />
10
The Wisdom of Bibi Jan<br />
Story # 2<br />
Written by: Mary-Jo Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies,<br />
<strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong>,<br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
11
This Project is funded by CIDA<br />
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already<br />
experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their<br />
homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while<br />
working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Gifts”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role in<br />
the as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality<br />
12
of a school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that<br />
she is having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her<br />
fears.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: warmth, growth, nurturing,<br />
playfulness, laughter, symbolic release, happiness, safety,<br />
comfort, love<br />
Modeling of Peaceful and Virtuous Actions: industry, contribution,<br />
compassion, friendship, marital harmony, respect for elders, emotional support,<br />
empathy, religious devotion, thankfulness, helpfulness, listening, physical<br />
comfort, affection, empowerment, encouragement, recognition and praise of<br />
virtuous actions<br />
Problem Issues: longing for education, anger, feelings of being over-burdened<br />
and over-whelmed, conflict, Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms: worry, preoccupation,<br />
nightmares, fear, sleep disturbance<br />
Healing Strategies: empowerment, hugging and comforting, drawing and<br />
destroying fears, drawing hopeful images, recognizing and facing fear, supporting<br />
a friend<br />
13
The Wisdom of Bibi Jan<br />
The sun was warm upon Jameela’s back as she tended the vegetable garden. She<br />
carefully watered and trimmed and weeded. She was waiting for her older brother<br />
Abdullah to return from school. Jameela wanted to see if Abdullah had brought any new<br />
books home that she could try to read. She hoped that Abdullah would help her. Jameela<br />
noticed her little brother’s kitten playing in the shade, chasing whirlwinds of dust. The<br />
kitten’s jumping and pouncing made Jameela laugh out loud.<br />
“What are laughing at?” asked Abdullah as he came into the yard.<br />
“Ahmed’s kitten thinks he’s a tiger,” grinned Jameela. “Will you have time to<br />
help me with my reading today, Abdullah? You said would. Please?”<br />
“ Jameela, I told you before, ask Auntie Fatima to help you,” Abdullah said<br />
angrily. “I have to take the animals to graze.” Abdullah walked away with Jameela<br />
following behind.<br />
friends.<br />
“What did you do at school today?” Jameela was always curious about Abdullah’s<br />
14
“Jameela, don’t bother me. I have enough problems without you trailing after me<br />
asking me questions.” Abdullah prepared to go to the fields. Jameela followed him like a<br />
shadow. Abdullah saw that his sister would persist until he talked to her about his day.<br />
“O.K. Jameela, you win. I am worried about my friend, Kadeem, who is acting<br />
very strangely these days. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s either getting angry<br />
with someone or he’s not paying attention to anything that’s happening, like he’s thinking<br />
about other things.” said Abdullah..<br />
“Maybe we should ask Bibi about this. She always knows how to help,”<br />
suggested Jameela. As they passed through the yard, they saw Bibi Jan and Kaka Ghulam<br />
sitting together on the old wooden bench, talking. Their grandparents looked upset.<br />
“What is wrong, Bibi?” asked Jameela<br />
“Has something bad happened, Kaka Ghulam?” Abdullah was worried.<br />
“There has been some fighting in the hills. Some of the families that live outside<br />
the village are very worried and scared,” stated Kaka Ghulam.<br />
“My friend, Kadeem, lives over on the big hill outside the village. He has been<br />
acting differently lately. I wonder if the fighting has anything to do with it?” asked<br />
Abdullah.<br />
“When we are scared, we do act differently. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we get<br />
angry and sometimes we pretend that we are not scared,” said Bibi Jan. “I wonder if your<br />
friend is scared about what is going to happen.”<br />
“I thought that he was angry with me and I have been leaving him alone,”<br />
pondered Abdullah. “What should I do, Bibi Jan?”<br />
15
“It is hard for young men to be scared. We expect them to be brave all the time. I<br />
think that your friend would like you to be his friend, not leave him alone. Ask him to<br />
come to visit you and perhaps you can invite him home and share some dried fruit and<br />
talk quietly together. Spending time with a close friend is a good solution to being<br />
scared,” said Bibi Jan.<br />
“I think that you should both go to the Mosque together and pray. This too will<br />
help your friendship strengthen,” added Kaka Ghulam<br />
“Thank you for your kind words. I need to go to tend to the animals.” Abdullah<br />
felt happier because he now knew how to help his friend.<br />
“I, too, need to go. It is time for afternoon prayers.” Kaka Ghulam used his cane<br />
to help himself to his feet and walked slowly out of the gate.<br />
Jameela had sat quietly listening to her Grandmother’s words.<br />
“Bibi, do you ever get scared?” asked Jameela.<br />
asked gently.<br />
“We all are frightened at some time. Do you get frightened sometimes?” Bibi Jan<br />
“Sometimes, I don’t want to go to sleep. I lie down in my bed and try to stay<br />
awake as long as possible and the more tired I get the more scared I get.” Jameela’s voice<br />
was very quiet and her tears shone in the sunlight.<br />
“What is frightening you, Jameela, my love?” Bibi Jan touched Jameela’s face<br />
and looked into her eyes.<br />
“I’m scared because sometimes when I go to sleep, I have dreams about Ahmed<br />
and me out in the fields and there is a big explosion and I jump up and I’m scared but I<br />
16
am happy that I am in my bed and not in the field,” Jameela said. Her eyes were wide and<br />
her lips trembled. “And I have to look to make sure that Ahmed is safe and asleep. Then I<br />
try not to sleep but I know I will and I get scared.” Jameela felt herself starting to cry and<br />
fell into her Grandmother’s arms.<br />
“Jameela, thank you for telling me about your bad dreams,” Bibi Jan said.<br />
“Talking to someone you love about your fears is the first thing to do when you want to<br />
feel better. I know many different ways to help your fears get smaller and smaller and<br />
finally get so small you will hardly notice them,” smiled Bibi Jan. Jameela’s face began<br />
to brighten. She knew by Bibi Jan’s voice that they were about to have some fun.<br />
“First, Jameela, take my cane. Now, draw in the dirt a picture of the scariest<br />
monster you ever could imagine. That’s it, big and mean and scary. Maybe you should<br />
give it some horns and ugly teeth. I am sure that monster has very bad breath. Now,<br />
Jameela, with your feet, stomp on it, and rub out the monster. That’s it. The monster is all<br />
gone. You made the monster and you made it go away. Now do that with your scary<br />
dream,” directed Bibi Jan. Jameela’s smile faded from her face. “You can make it and<br />
you can make it go away. Try it!”<br />
Jameela drew a big explosion in the dirt. She drew wiggly lines all around it.<br />
“Those are my scared feelings,” she said.<br />
“Good, Jameela, they look like scared feelings. Now, just like the monster, rub it<br />
all out with your feet. Keep going until it’s all gone. Good! You did it,” said Bibi Jan<br />
proudly.<br />
17
“My bad dream is gone. I want to do it again!” and Jameela drew an even bigger<br />
explosion and even bigger scary feelings and then scuffed them away with her feet.<br />
“Now draw you and Ahmed safe in your beds, just a small picture because we<br />
will leave this one for everyone to see. If you find that the rain has washed it away, you<br />
can draw it again, or place little stones on your picture so that it will stay longer. Later<br />
you can draw it on some paper to show your Mama,” said Bibi Jan. “And Jameela, if you<br />
are scared at night, just squeeze my hand, and I will tell you I love you, you are safe with<br />
Bibi.”<br />
Jameela quickly collected small stones and pebbles and place them in the lines of<br />
her drawing of Jameela and Ahmed. Many little pebbles made up their big smiles. She<br />
placed a circle of stones all around her picture so everyone would notice and smile too.<br />
18
Making Cookies<br />
Story #3<br />
Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
Story Characters:<br />
19
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land mine at age 20, youngest son of<br />
Bibi Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already<br />
experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland<br />
when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field,<br />
her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah.<br />
With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get<br />
over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role as<br />
comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school<br />
friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having<br />
nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”. Her<br />
fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has<br />
been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making<br />
cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima<br />
a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
20
Healing images and symbols: nurturing, staring down fears, courage, strength,<br />
self-nurturing, self-healing, happy memories, growth, singing, empowerment, laughter<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: service to others, cooperation,<br />
empathy, emotional support, helpfulness, reflective listening, recognition and praise of<br />
virtuous actions, affection, humour, physical comforting, religious devotion<br />
Problem Issues: Post Traumatic Stress Symptoms: anger, flashbacks, intrusive<br />
memories, avoidance, fear, nightmares, sleep disturbance, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, overreactivity,<br />
“triggers” of memories.<br />
Healing Strategies: spending time listening to the troubled child, hugging and<br />
comforting, “exposure “ to hurtful memories and realities, use of drawing, distraction<br />
from hurtful memories, supporting each other in difficulties.<br />
Making Cookies<br />
Jameela and Abdullah were walking home from a neighbour's house. The path was narrow.<br />
Jameela kept to the very centre of it and placed her feet carefully one in front of the other in a straight line.<br />
"Why are you walking like that, Jameela?" said Abdullah. "It looks kind of dumb."<br />
"I'm scared of landmines off the edges of the path,” said Jameela.<br />
"Dope!" said Abdullah. "They cleared the landmines. Didn't you know? There's<br />
even a sign down there, saying so. Can't you read?" He gave Jameela a shove, sending<br />
her off the path. She screamed in fear, enough to make Abdullah realize this wasn't her<br />
usual reaction to his teasing and roughhousing. He stopped and stared at his sister.<br />
21
"I CAN read that sign. I KNOW they're supposed to have cleared the place. But<br />
every time I pass our field the terrible memories came back. I keep seeing it all, as if it<br />
was just happening. It makes me feel horrible. Doesn't it happen to you?"<br />
"Nope. I try not to think about it. You should try too."<br />
flash."<br />
"I'm not TRYING to think about it, Abdullah. The memories just come in a<br />
The children reached home and went into the house.<br />
"Jameela," called her grandmother. "Could you take this cup of tea to your father,<br />
dear? He's sitting outside." Jameela paused. "Bibi, could you get Ahmed to do it? I have<br />
to water my garden." This was most unlike Jameela, who was usually a willing little girl<br />
with tasks. But Bibi Jan noticed a pattern - every time a task involved her father, Jameela<br />
tried to get out of it. Bibi Jan took the tea out herself, thinking deeply.<br />
Jameela saw her and ran up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Bibi Jan."<br />
"Jameela, I think we'll make some cookies together. Let's get started," and her<br />
grandmother headed toward the kitchen.<br />
Jameela stood in amazement. Had she heard right? She was expecting a<br />
reprimand, even a punishment, and now her grandmother was saying they'd make cookies<br />
together. Making cookies was special enough, but she'd never before been allowed to<br />
help.<br />
In the kitchen, Bibi Jan got the flour, the ghee and the sugar. She let Jameela beat<br />
the mixture together with the big wooden spoon.<br />
22
"My word! You are a good cookie maker. I think you should taste it to see if it's<br />
right," she winked at Jameela. The mixture was so delicious! Jameela would have liked to<br />
eat it just like that, before it went into the oven. Fatima, Bibi Jan’s young daughter-inlaw,<br />
came in and saw what they were doing. She got out the pans for cookies and began<br />
preparing them. They began to shape the cookies into rounds.<br />
"Jameela," said Bibi Jan, " You know, you were telling me a little while ago about<br />
your frightening nightmares about the landmine explosion?" Jameela nodded.<br />
"Sweetheart, I think there's something more bothering you."<br />
Jameela wondered how her grandmother could know. "Bibi," she said. "Can you<br />
have day-mares?"<br />
"Day-mares? Day-mares? What do you mean, darling?" said Bibi Jan. Fatima<br />
looked very attentive.<br />
"Well, Bibi Jan, sometimes in the day-time, I get these sudden memories of what I<br />
saw on the landmine day. Something reminds me and then, all at once, it's as if I'm there<br />
all over again. It's horrible." Fatima stopped shaping the cookies and stood like a statue.<br />
"Darling, I know exactly what you mean. I didn't know this was happening to you.<br />
I'm glad you told me. But one more thing: How does this connect with your father?"<br />
Jameela wondered if her grandmother could see into her mind. "Bibi," a little sob<br />
escaped. "I do love Daddy. But when I see his leg, what's left of it I mean, the memories<br />
come back and I hate that. So I try to stay away and not look at it. That's why I didn't<br />
want to take the tea to him." Now Jameela was really crying. Fatima had turned pale as<br />
images of her dying husband flashed in her mind.<br />
23
"Oh dear," said Bibi Jan. "Our cookie recipe definitely doesn't include tears.<br />
Come and sit on my lap." Jameela snuggled into her grandmother's hug. Fatima knelt<br />
beside them, stroking Jameela's hair. Her hand was trembling.<br />
"These are things I learned from someone who was very old when I was very<br />
young," began Bibi Jan. "It didn't mean so much when I was young, but as my life flowed<br />
along, there were some very bad things that happened, and then I remembered what I'd<br />
been taught. I followed the instructions and it helped. This strengthened me for the worst<br />
thing that happened, the day of the landmine. So now it's time for me to teach you two."<br />
Fatima's hand became still as she listened intently. Jameela's crying stopped. "She told<br />
me that when bad memories spring into your mind, don't run away from them. They will<br />
only follow you. You try to hide from them and they leap out at you."<br />
"But what can you do, Bibi Jan?" Fatima spoke for the first time. "The memories<br />
are so terrible. They're unbearable."<br />
"You stare them down", said Bibi Jan.<br />
"Stare them down?" said Fatima, amazed. "But how can you do that? "<br />
"You breathe in all the courage you have, and all the strength you have, and ask<br />
for the help of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful, and then you breathe out and stare<br />
it down. At first, you can only do this for a short time, because it is so hard. Then you<br />
have to let yourself get away for a little time. You do something to remind yourself that<br />
you're not in the time of the memory, you're here, right now. Sometimes I make myself a<br />
cup of tea; sometimes I go and watch the children playing. Then something reminds you<br />
and the memory leaps back. You breathe in and out and stare it down again, this time for<br />
24
a bit longer. After a while, you feel as if you're getting stronger than the memory, and<br />
that slowly it is taking the proper place of all memories, at the back of your mind, to<br />
come out only when called."<br />
Jameela had sat up and was staring at her grandmother. Fatima was openmouthed.<br />
"Bibi, do you have this too?" she said.<br />
"Yes, darlings. I know exactly what you're talking about because it happens to me<br />
too. And Fatima, dear, you must be suffering too in the same way."<br />
"Oh, I am, I am, Bibi Jan. It's terrible. Sometimes I don't know how I can get<br />
through a day. I seem to be living in a hell of terrible memories. So many things set off a<br />
memory, and then it's as if I'm there, on that terrible day. And the nights are worse."<br />
"Fatima, Jameela, we can get through this. Do what I told you and I think you'll<br />
start to feel stronger than the memories. Sometimes it takes a short time, sometimes it<br />
takes a long time, but we can get through it. If you're having a bad time in the days ahead,<br />
come to me and we'll stare the memories down together. Then, when we've done enough<br />
staring down, we'll look at the picture of Yunus that we took last Eid, where he looks so<br />
handsome in his new clothes and turban."<br />
"You are so brave, Bibi Jan. I'd like to be as brave as you," said Jameela.<br />
"You will be, little one. You have a brave heart." Bibi Jan gave her an extra hug.<br />
“When you have been brave and stared down the memory a bit, you should go and do<br />
something nice, like playing in your garden or singing one of your favourite songs.<br />
Jameela," said Bibi Jan, suddenly, “go into the garden and bring back three small smooth<br />
stones.”<br />
25
Bibi Jan gave Jameela and Fatima each a stone and held one in her palm. “Now,<br />
when we need to remind ourselves that we are here, now, and not in that time of terrible<br />
memories, we can each feel our stone in our pocket, and think of each other.”<br />
"Bibi," said Jameela, "What if I don't feel brave enough to stare it down?"<br />
"Then you can go and draw the memory. That takes courage too."<br />
Fatima’s cheeks were pink again. “When I visited my parents last month, my brother, the<br />
one who's a doctor, was there. He asked me about bad memories. He called them<br />
flashbacks. He said they are often brought on by a small thing that reminds you. That's<br />
exactly how it is with me. He told me also that people who suffer from these memories<br />
are more nervous and jumpy, as if they are worried about something bad happening<br />
again, any time." Jameela remembered how anxious she felt on the path by the fields.<br />
"My brother said that lots of people who have had terrible experiences suffer from this<br />
problem and that it has a name - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I asked him what the<br />
doctors did for it. He tried to explain, but I must say it sounded a good deal like what<br />
you've told us, Bibi Jan."<br />
"Ah, well, darlings. There's nothing new under the sun. People have always had<br />
bad experiences, and they've had to deal with them. Sometimes they do it well and<br />
become stronger, and sometimes they do it badly and become weaker. It's nice to have a<br />
modern name, but it's the same old thing. You have to be brave and not run away, and<br />
you have to stare the memory down for as long as you can. Sometimes you have to make<br />
yourself be with what reminds you of the bad memory and get used to it."<br />
"How would you do that, Bibi Jan?" said Jameela.<br />
"Well, you try not to look at your father's leg because it brings back memories,<br />
right? Now, you have to be brave and make yourself look at your father's leg for longer<br />
and longer periods of time."<br />
Jameela found herself wanting to run away from this idea. Then she remembered<br />
that she wished to be a brave woman like her grandmother.<br />
26
"Tonight, when I massage your father's leg, how about you stay with me and hold<br />
the ointment? You don't have to look all the time. Just as much as you can handle and<br />
you can try to think of it in a new way- as the sign of a father who loves his family and<br />
had the courage to till the fields despite the risk of mines."<br />
"OK, Bibi Jan. I think I can do that."<br />
"Fatima, you are suffering so much. You can come to me when it gets hard."<br />
Fatima's tears glistened. "Thanks, Bibi Jan. I want to be a brave woman too."<br />
"You know," said Bibi Jan, "sometimes it seems like having a big lump of<br />
something that tastes terrible in your mouth. You can't swallow it and you can't spit it out.<br />
No matter how much you don't want to, you have to chew it up until it goes down. Oh<br />
my goodness! We're making something that's going to taste very good. The fire is just<br />
right for the cookies. Let's quickly finish them and get them baking. "<br />
The three of them shaped and decorated the cookies. Bibi Jan put the letter J on<br />
half of hers and the letter F on the other half. Fatima slipped them into just the right spot<br />
in the oven. They sat and waited, sipping tea. The smell of the cookies baking was<br />
wonderful.<br />
When they were just golden, Fatima took them out. Together they lay them out to<br />
cool. Just then little Ahmed darted into the kitchen. He had smelled the cookies. He<br />
snatched one off the table and ran off laughing. Jameela grabbed the wooden spoon and<br />
chased him, laughing too.<br />
27
Merza’s Heart<br />
Story #4<br />
Written by: Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Canadian Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong>,<br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This project is funded by CIDA<br />
28
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already<br />
experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland<br />
when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field,<br />
her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah.<br />
With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get<br />
over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role as<br />
comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school<br />
friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having<br />
nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”.<br />
Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path<br />
that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the<br />
opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s<br />
injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief for<br />
Yunus.<br />
29
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: laughter, giving, humour, dreams of happiness and<br />
peace<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: compassion, patience,<br />
kindness, empathy, helpfulness, physical comfort, praise and recognition of<br />
virtuous actions<br />
Problem Issues: grief, depression, loss, isolation, remorse, sadness<br />
Healing Strategies: story telling, consulting, emotional support, empathy,<br />
emotional release, physical comfort<br />
Merza’s Heart<br />
It was the middle of the morning. Jameela watched her father Merza come out of<br />
the house. She was happy because she was no longer afraid to look at the stump of his<br />
leg. Merza was leaning on his crutch and moving very slowly. He sat on the old wooden<br />
bench in the yard and put his crutch on the ground. His shoulders were slumped and he<br />
was quiet, just looking at the ground.<br />
30
Merza had been a happy man before the accident. Before the landmine killed<br />
Yunus and took off Merza's leg, Merza used to laugh and bring little presents to Jameela.<br />
Sometimes he would tell stories like Bibi Jan. Jameela would run up to him and say,<br />
“Tell me a story, Daddy!”<br />
Merza would pretend that he couldn’t remember any more stories. “Stories?” he<br />
would say. “Oh, I think I’ve used them all up! There aren’t any left!”<br />
But then he would smile and say, “Well, I do remember one little story about<br />
something that happened a long time ago,” and off he would go. Sometimes they were<br />
sad stories, but usually they were happy and funny.<br />
Ever since the landmine Merza was an unhappy man, and sometimes he got angry<br />
for no reason. He hadn’t told Jameela and Ahmed any stories for a long time.<br />
Jameela looked at her father sitting on the old bench. He didn’t look angry today,<br />
but he looked very, very sad. Jameela wanted to make him happy, so she walked up to<br />
him and smiled.<br />
“Tell me a story, Daddy!”<br />
Merza looked at Jameela. For a long time he said nothing. At last he spoke.<br />
“The stories are all gone. There are no more stories.” Then he turned away from<br />
Jameela and looked down at the ground again.<br />
Jameela frowned. She didn’t understand. This time her father didn’t seem to be<br />
joking. He looked very serious. But how could his stories be all gone? Jameela went to<br />
Bibi Jan.<br />
“Bibi?”<br />
31
“Yes, dear,” her grandmother answered.<br />
“Daddy says his stories are all gone.” Bibi Jan listened while Jameela told her<br />
what Merza had said. Bibi Jan was quiet for a few moments. She was trying to figure out<br />
how to explain Merza’s sadness.<br />
“Jameela,” Bibi Jan said at last, “ a heart holds a story the way a nest holds a<br />
beautiful bird. That bird is happy to be in the nest. It rests, it sings, it has babies. But what<br />
if there is a terrible storm and the wind blows so hard that the nest gets torn apart? Now<br />
there are holes in the nest! Little pieces of nest fluttering in the wind! That bird is not able<br />
to stay there. Maybe it has to fly away. Now, your father’s heart is like that nest. It has<br />
many holes in it. The stories have flown away. Who knows where they are now? Perhaps<br />
they have flown to the mountains.”<br />
“Why did his heart get holes in it?”Jameela asked, puzzled.<br />
“Oh, Jameela! When Yunus stepped on the landmine, that was a bad day! Your<br />
father lost his brother! And he lost his own leg! Jameela! That landmine blew many holes<br />
in your father’s heart!”<br />
“Will his heart ever get better?” the saddened child asked.<br />
Bibi Jan put her arms around Jameela. “You must be patient. Hearts take a long<br />
time to heal. You must be kind to your father, and you must let him talk about the things<br />
that make him sad.”<br />
“But will the holes get fixed? Will the stories come back?”<br />
Bibi Jan thought for a moment. “Remember when I said a story is like a bird?<br />
Well, that bird might be happy in the mountains for a while, but then it would get lonely<br />
32
for its old nest. I’m sure there is a story right now that is lonely for its old nest in Merza’s<br />
heart. Now, off you go to help your mother. And remember to be patient with your<br />
father.”<br />
All the rest of the day, as Jameela helped her mother Haleema, she thought about<br />
her father’s heart. She kept thinking of his heart as a little nest, hanging down from the<br />
tree with bits of grass and twigs falling out.<br />
“How does a nest get mended?” she wondered to herself.<br />
In the afternoon, Jameela went outside the house, and there was Merza, still<br />
sitting on the old wooden bench, still looking down at the ground. Jameela went to him.<br />
“Daddy?”<br />
Merza looked at his daughter.<br />
“Daddy, can I tell you a story?”<br />
“A story?” her father responded. “What...what do you mean?”<br />
“Bibi says a story is like a bird and a heart is like a nest. She says when the bird’s<br />
nest gets holes the bird flies away to the mountains. She says your heart is like a little<br />
bird’s nest with holes.”<br />
Merza was looking at his daughter now, listening.<br />
“But I think a bird is the only thing that can fix a bird’s nest,” Jameela continued.<br />
“So maybe a story is the only thing that can fix a heart. I could tell you a story.”<br />
33
And then something very shocking happened. Merza began to cry! He put his<br />
head on his knees and cried and cried. Jameela didn’t know what to do! She had never<br />
seen her father cry! She ran into the house to get her mother, Haleema.<br />
Haleema saw Jameela coming at the very same moment that she heard her<br />
husband crying. She ran outside to comfort Merza.<br />
Jameela thought: “What have I done? I wanted to help my father and now look!”<br />
She just sat in the house by herself and said nothing. She tried to sit so quietly that no one<br />
would notice her. Her stomach began to hurt and she felt very sad.<br />
When Jameela went to bed that night her father came over to talk to her. Now it<br />
was her turn to cry! She felt so sorry for what she had done!<br />
Merza sat down beside her. He laid down his crutch.<br />
“Don't cry, Jameela,” he said. “Bibi Jan’s right. My heart is like a nest torn by a<br />
terrible wind. Sometimes I hear the wind moaning in the tree and I think my heart will<br />
blow away and be lost forever. When a man’s heart is like this he has no stories. He has<br />
no joy. He feels as if he can’t speak or eat or sleep or laugh. Sometimes he can’t even cry.<br />
Today I was able to cry. Maybe that’s a good thing.”<br />
Jameela sat up. “Do you want me to tell you a story?” she asked.<br />
Merza answered, “Yes. I think that would be very nice.”<br />
So Jameela told Merza one of her father’s old stories about the bad boy in the<br />
palace. Merza listened carefully. Once he had to wipe a tear from his eye. Once he<br />
smiled.<br />
34
“You did a good job with that story,” he said, once she had finished. “Maybe you<br />
will become a great storyteller and you will help our people to feel better.”<br />
“Does your heart feel better?” she asked.<br />
“Well, Jameela, this heart is still not in good shape. It will take a long time to<br />
heal. But I believe your story has made it a bit stronger. Yes, I believe so. Maybe soon it<br />
will be strong enough to hold one of those tiny stories that fly in from the mountains<br />
early in the morning.”<br />
And Merza patted Jameela’s head and tucked her into bed.<br />
That night Jameela had a very good dream. All of Afghanistan was covered with<br />
grass and flowers and trees. People were walking in the tall grass, talking to each other<br />
and laughing. As they walked, strange, beautiful birds flew toward them. “Oh!” said<br />
Jameela. “Stories! These must be the stories of the people of Afghanistan, flying back to<br />
them from the mountains!”<br />
35
Yunus’s Song<br />
Story #5<br />
Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
36
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already<br />
experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their homeland<br />
when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while working in the field,<br />
her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother Abdullah.<br />
With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they might help him get<br />
over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role as<br />
comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a school<br />
friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is having<br />
nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making Cookies”.Her<br />
fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking along a path that has<br />
37
een cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses the opportunity of making<br />
cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima<br />
a positive means of expression of grief for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up inside<br />
“Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew before his injury,<br />
the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings him to tears, but they also<br />
remind him of the man he used to be, and create the yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by Jameela and<br />
Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests ways for the family to<br />
come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus, especially by singing Yunus’s<br />
Song.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: playfulness, laughter, love<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: industry, empathy, teaching<br />
Problem Issues: grief and loss<br />
Healing Strategies: humor, trying to make others happy, encouraging sharing of<br />
sadness and memories, finding a new role for the bereaved<br />
38
Yunus’s Song<br />
Ahmed and Jameela were playing with the red ball in the yard, shouting and<br />
laughing. In one corner sat Fatima on a stool, her head over her sewing. The ball<br />
rolled near her foot.<br />
"Hey, Fatima!" shouted Ahmed, "Throw it back to us." Fatima didn't look<br />
up at the children. She just kicked the ball in their general direction. Jameela<br />
beckoned Ahmed behind the shed.<br />
"I think she's crying," Jameela whispered.<br />
"She cries a lot," said Ahmed. "She doesn't play with us any more, the way<br />
she used to." Ahmed ran off toward the kitchen.<br />
Jameela wondered what to do. She loved her quiet and gentle aunt.<br />
Fatima used to read her stories and show her how to do grown-up things, but since<br />
the landmine accident, Fatima was lost in sadness. She knew, too, that Fatima was<br />
struggling with the memories of that terrible day, and sometimes she talked with<br />
Fatima about trying to be brave enough to stare the memories down, instead of<br />
running away from them. It was very hard.<br />
Ahmed popped out of the kitchen door with a big copper pot on his head.<br />
He had a wooden spoon in his hand and banged the pot loudly, marching up and<br />
down in front of Fatima.<br />
smile.<br />
"Ahmed, Ahmed, what are you trying to do?" said Fatima with a little<br />
"I'm trying to make you laugh, Fatima. You're so sad," said Ahmed,<br />
pulling the pot over his face.<br />
"Well, you did, you scalawag."<br />
"Fatima, why are you crying so much?" Ahmed asked.<br />
39
Jameela.<br />
"Oh, Ahmed, be quiet. You know why. It's because of Uncle Yunus," said<br />
much."<br />
Fatima said, "It's ok. He can ask me. It is because of Yunus. I miss him so<br />
"Me too. Remember when he used to play ball with me, and pretend to<br />
miss it when I threw?" said Ahmed.<br />
"And when he'd chase me around the well?" said Jameela.<br />
Fatima broke down in tears again.<br />
"Oh no. We've made her cry again. Oh, we're sorry, Fatima. We won't<br />
mention Uncle Yunus again."<br />
Bibi Jan drew near. "It's alright to cry. It's good to share memories. It's<br />
good to talk about the things we loved about Yunus. There were so many things to<br />
love about him. Fatima, remember the day you were married and he was teasing<br />
you so much during the wedding? He said he thought he was the cleverest person<br />
in the family until you came into it, and now he was sure you were the cleverest. I<br />
thought you would burst with blushing."<br />
"He was proud that I had an education........but I don't know what use it is<br />
now, or what use I am at all....."<br />
"Fatima, you could teach me reading and writing. Uncle Yunus wanted me<br />
to be educated too. He said so. Could you, Fatima?" begged Jameela.<br />
"Oh yes, Jameela. I'd really like to. Could I, Bibi?" asked Fatima.<br />
40
"I think Yunus would really have liked that. Why don't you two find some<br />
time each day when the chores are done? But Fatima, I want to say more to you<br />
about what we're all going through."<br />
"Bibi," said Fatima, "I don't want to burden you at all. It's terrible for you.<br />
He was your youngest son, and so wonderful," Fatima said, wiping away her<br />
tears.<br />
"Fatima, dear, it is terrible, for both of us - mother and wife. So we can<br />
help each other. I don't feel like grieving alone. I want to share the good memories<br />
of my son, with you. You loved him so much and made him so happy.<br />
Sometimes, let's have a cup of tea after supper, and some of my special dried<br />
fruit. We can look at the photos of Yunus and remember our happy days with<br />
him. Let's do that tonight, Fatima."<br />
Fatima nodded, too full of feelings to speak.<br />
"Will you do me a special favour tonight then?" said Bibi Jan. "Will you<br />
wear the lovely necklace he gave to you? I'd so like to see it on your neck again,<br />
and to remember his delight."<br />
Fatima nodded again.<br />
sing to me?"<br />
Ahmed said, "Fatima, do you remember that funny song Yunus used to<br />
Fatima began to sing the song. Bibi Jan and the children joined in, Ahmed<br />
banging the rhythm on the pot, all of them smiling at each other in their memories<br />
and with tears running down their cheeks.<br />
41
Leaving Home<br />
Story # 6<br />
Written by: Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
42
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
43
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: hope, safety, humour, love<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: physical comfort, leadership,<br />
prayer, cooperation, emotional support, compassion, caring, protectiveness,<br />
Problem Issues: war trauma, fear of injury, fear of death, destruction, sadness,<br />
fear of change, loss of home and property, fear of loss of home and heritage, fear<br />
of loss of identity, fear of the future, shame<br />
Healing Strategies: leadership, family cohesion, empathic listening, physical<br />
comfort and support, reassurance, safe-guarding the past<br />
44
Leaving Home<br />
All was quiet. The red glow of the dawn crept across the eastern sky. Swirling<br />
mists, red and acrid, pushed aside the darkness of the long night. The stillness, the quiet,<br />
hung heavily, as if the countryside was holding its breath. On this morning, there were no<br />
birds singing, no early morning sounds of a village preparing for a new day. The<br />
bombing and gunfire had continued most of the night.<br />
Jameela’s arms were wrapped around her little brother, Ahmed. Both children<br />
were lying huddled together with their mother and grandmother. Their terror and their<br />
crying had left them exhausted. Merza, their father, looked out of the window.<br />
“Abdullah, I want you to go out and check our buildings. Go out into the yard and<br />
look over the fence. Check our neighbours but stay low and keep quiet. Go. Quickly.”<br />
Merza grabbed his son’s shoulders and looked deeply at him. “Be careful.”<br />
Abdullah slipped out of the door. Everyone listened to the silence. Kaka<br />
Ghullam’s beads clattered noisily in the stillness. His prayers were comforting while they<br />
awaited Abdullah’s return.<br />
When he did, Abdullah’s face said more than his words could tell. He looked at<br />
his younger sister and brother and said what little he could that would not frighten them<br />
further. “Our home was not hit. We lost the wall on the south side but the animals are still<br />
safe.”<br />
“And the rest of the village?” asked Haleema, her eyes wide with fear.<br />
“I’m sorry, Mother, there’s so much smoke, I can’t see much,” he said, sadly.<br />
45
e so lucky.”<br />
“We must leave,” stated Merza. “ We must go today, now. Tonight we might not<br />
Jameela jumped to her feet. “No! I don’t want to go! I won’t go! Please let us stay<br />
here, Daddy, please! We will be safe here. They will fight somewhere else tonight. Please<br />
Daddy!”<br />
“Jameela, stop! Listen to your father.” Haleema hugged her daughter. “He is right.<br />
We could go to Uncle Ali and Auntie Aisha in the city. We will be safe there.” Jameela<br />
cried in her mother’s arms.<br />
“That is true, Haleema,” added Kaka Ghullam. “ Merza, the family must leave<br />
today. There is no time to waste.” Kaka Ghullam nodded sadly. “For nearly sixty years I<br />
have lived here. I have prayed and prayed that through all the wars, we would be safe<br />
here. We are blessed to be alive this morning. There must be a reason that we were<br />
spared. We must follow the path and opportunity offered to us. Fatima,” he said, turning<br />
to his young daughter-in-law, “please, prepare food for the journey.”<br />
Fatima sat silently, not moving.<br />
“Fatima!” shouted Haleema, “ Get the food ready!”<br />
“I can’t go. I can’t leave,” wailed Fatima. “This home has all my memories of<br />
Yunus. It is where he lived and where he died. If I leave, I am afraid that I will forget<br />
him.” Fatima collapsed on the floor, sobbing.<br />
“Everyone, stop your crying!” screamed Abdullah. “Most of the houses in the<br />
village are destroyed. Do you want to stay and die or leave here and live? I am leaving!”<br />
Abdullah gathered his blanket and clothes.<br />
46
“ Fatima, you will go. Get the food ready,” said Haleema as she quickly gathered<br />
necessities for the journey.<br />
“Abdullah, get the donkey” ordered Merza.<br />
Haleema helped Jameela and Ahmed by grabbing what she could. Merza and<br />
Kaka Ghullam discussed the safest route to take. Bibi Jan gathered the photographs from<br />
the walls and placed them in a row on the floor. She sat down and quietly wept. Everyone<br />
was too busy to notice her weeping. Abdullah and Haleema loaded the donkey, placing<br />
Ahmed on top. Today he has too tired and frightened to enjoy the ride. He curled up and<br />
fell asleep just as the sun rose above the eastern hills.<br />
In minutes everyone was gathered at the door. Fatima stood rigidly unable to<br />
cross the threshold. Jameela knew she must help her aunt leave with the family.<br />
“Auntie Fatima,” pleaded Jameela, holding her hands, “ you must come with us.<br />
Who will teach me reading and writing? You said I was doing so well. Who will sing<br />
songs with me and help me with my garden? Oh! My garden! How can I leave my<br />
garden?” Jameela’s crying started anew.<br />
Fatima hugged the little girl. “It seems that we all must leave behind things that<br />
we care for and love. At least, I can take my memories with me. I promise to find you<br />
some new seeds in the city so that when we return we can grow a wonderful new<br />
garden,” Jameela and Fatima hugged each other through their tears.<br />
“We have no time for this!” shouted Merza. “We need to travel far from here<br />
before nightfall. We may not be able to take the main roads. We may have to travel crosscountry.<br />
I will not be able to keep up very well on these crutches- so let’s get moving!”<br />
47
Merza looked at his only leg and then to his son sleeping on the donkey. “I may need to<br />
ride sometimes so we can move faster,” he said shamefully, shaking his head.<br />
“Ahmed will run along beside once he has slept,” said Haleema, reassuring her<br />
husband. “Now, let’s go! Quickly! Wait! Where is Bibi Jan?”<br />
The family ran back inside to find Bibi Jan still weeping on the floor surrounded<br />
by photographs. They were shocked to see their strong and wise Bibi crying on the floor.<br />
“ Bibi Jan,” said Kaka Ghullam gently, “we must go now.”<br />
“I can’t leave my home,” sobbed Bibi Jan. “I have lived here for fifty years. I’ve<br />
given birth to all my children here in this house.” She picked up a picture of Yunus. “And<br />
I have buried my son here. I can’t go and leave my home unprotected from strangers and<br />
looters.” She hugged the photo.<br />
“We will hide all the photos and anything else that we want saved in the animals’<br />
stall, under the hay. No one will look there. Here, Bibi Jan, put them in this suitcase.<br />
They will be safe,” said Haleema. “Fatima, do you want to put your wedding photos in<br />
here, too?” Fatima and Bibi Jan quietly placed all they could fit into the case. Abdullah<br />
took the suitcase to hide under the house.<br />
“We will come back soon, as soon as the fighting is over,” Kaka Ghullam<br />
consoled. “But you must come with the family. You can’t stay here alone. Everyone else<br />
is leaving the village.”<br />
“Bibi, please, please don’t stay here, we need you, I need you,” begged Jameela.<br />
“Mother, you will come, and come now. We can’t argue. We are wasting time.”<br />
Merza took his mother’s arm and urged he toward the door.<br />
48
“No! I won’t go! I won’t leave my home!” Bibi Jan stood strongly in the door,<br />
holding the frame. Her face showed her fear. “ I am afraid of what will happen. You will<br />
travel faster without me. My legs are weak.”<br />
Haleema took Bibi Jan’s other arm. “We need your strong heart and we will help<br />
your weak legs. You can ride on the donkey when Merza walks.” Haleema looked<br />
around. “Where is the donkey?” asked Haleema. “It has Ahmed!”<br />
The family turned to see the donkey, trotting off down the road, with Ahmed still<br />
sound asleep on top. Abdullah, Fatima and Haleema ran to catch up with them.<br />
“You see, Bibi, the donkey, who never takes a step when you want him to, has the<br />
good sense to get away from here,” smiled Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Jameela pulled gently at her grandmother’s hand. “Remember you said that I<br />
could hold your hand whenever I have a nightmare, and you will tell me that you love me<br />
and that everything will be all right? How can you keep this promise to me if you stay<br />
here? Bibi Jan, I love you. Everything is going to be all right.”<br />
As she spoke, Bibi Jan slowly stepped out of the house and walked with her<br />
husband and son toward the gate.<br />
Jameela gently tugged her hand. “Everything’s going to be all right.”<br />
A New Friend<br />
49
Story # 7<br />
Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
50
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
51
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: laughter, sharing food and shelter with others<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: hospitality, generosity and<br />
kindness to those in need, courage to try a new language, friendship, acceptance,<br />
humour<br />
Problem Issues: sorrow, loss of home and property, respect for diversity<br />
Healing Strategies: understanding and respecting diversity, giving and receiving<br />
A New Friend<br />
Jameela and her family were fleeing the bombing of their village, heading for the<br />
safety of the city. They had been walking all day, resting occasionally for young Ahmed,<br />
52
for her grandparents, Bibi Jan and Kaka Ghullam, and for her father, Merza, whose<br />
journey on crutches was especially painful.<br />
Everyone was dusty, thirsty and very tired. Their sorrow at leaving their home lay<br />
underneath their weariness.<br />
Merza said, "We're coming to a village very soon. I can see the top of the mosque<br />
between the hills. In that village, there's a man I know. I've traded young donkeys and<br />
tools with him over the years. Amin is his name. I'll ask him if he can help us."<br />
A little more tired trudging brought them to the gate of Amin's house. Amin<br />
opened the door.<br />
"Old friend! What brings you here?" His smiling glance took in the exhausted<br />
family, which gave him the answer to his question. Amin saw more - that his friend had<br />
lost his leg and was on crutches. The smile left his face.<br />
“A landmine," said Merza. "I lost my brother."<br />
"I hear the war is on the doorstep of your village," said Amin.<br />
"More than on the doorstep," said Merza grimly." A lot of the village is<br />
destroyed. We had to leave. Everyone has left. That's why we're here."<br />
"Come in, come in, friends. You are welcome here. Our house is your house."<br />
Amin ushered them all through the door, taking all the bundles he could carry. Then he<br />
spoke to his wife and children, who shyly came out of the house into the courtyard.<br />
Abdullah, Jameela and Ahmed were puzzled that they couldn't understand what he said.<br />
He seemed to be speaking another language. And everyone in the family was wearing<br />
clothing that looked strange to the children's eyes. They had never seen people dressed<br />
53
like this before. Saida, Amin's wife, began cooking some food, and even the cooking<br />
smelled a little different.<br />
The tired and puzzled children sat on the ground in the courtyard. One of Amin's<br />
children brought Bibi Jan a little stool and she sat beside them.<br />
"Children, Amin's family and this whole village speak a different language from<br />
ours. Afghanistan has people with several languages. Ours isn't the only one. Amin and<br />
Saida are very good , kind people. We look different to them too, you know." The<br />
children smiled at that thought. To themselves they looked and sounded completely<br />
ordinary, the way they thought everyone was, until today. But if they thought of how they<br />
looked in the eyes of Amin's family, they appeared strange and unusual. It was a weird<br />
thought. Perhaps that was why Amin's children were staring at them, wide-eyed, from the<br />
shadows.<br />
Bibi Jan spoke again. "Even though we seem different from them, they know so<br />
well that we feel tired and hungry and thirsty and sad, the way any person does who has<br />
to go on such a sad journey. They've brought us water and they're cooking us food. This<br />
is what it is to be a good citizen - always hospitable to others, no matter if they have<br />
different clothes or language or religion."<br />
"Are there different religions, Bibi?" asked Jameela.<br />
Yes, dear, and the Prophet told us that we must be hospitable and good to<br />
people of other religions too. Every human being can feel tired, hungry and sad.<br />
Everyone has the same feelings in their heart."<br />
"Bibi," said Jameela, "I think Saida has the food ready."<br />
54
Everyone in the two families sat around the food, but only the visitors ate. As<br />
the meal was served, one of Amin's older daughters, with a big smile, pointed to the<br />
different foods and said the name in her language. Abdullah and Jameela were too<br />
embarrassed to try to say the strange words, but Ahmed tried every single one. Of course,<br />
he made many mistakes, which made Amin's family laugh a lot. That made Merza's<br />
family laugh too. No one laughed harder than Ahmed, who had tears of laughter running<br />
down his cheeks.<br />
But within minutes, Ahmed was asleep, curled up in the seated circle, without<br />
even finishing his food. The other children were ready to sleep as soon as they were<br />
shown a spot on the floor.<br />
to leave.<br />
In the morning, Merza's family bundled their things together again and got ready<br />
"Here is some food for your journey," said Saida, handing them some parcels of<br />
bread and cheese.<br />
Merza bowed in gratitude. He knew Amin and Saida had little to live on<br />
themselves. Then they brought out two pairs of shoes for Jameela and Ahmed, and some<br />
sheep's wool to make Merza's crutches more comfortable.<br />
"I can't find words to thank you for your kindness," Merza said.<br />
them.<br />
"May Allah bless your journey." Amin and Saida stood at the door to farewell<br />
That afternoon, after many hours of travel, Bibi Jan observed Abdullah and<br />
Jameela having a disagreement while waiting for the bus to the displaced person’s camp.<br />
55
She intended to ask one of them what it was about when the got to the camp, but over the<br />
course of the three-hour bus trip it slipped her mind. When the family reached the camp,<br />
they lined up to register and were assigned a space in the very crowded, former school.<br />
The place was noisy and confusing and they were all exhausted; they could barely unpack<br />
their quilts before they fell asleep.<br />
Kaka Ghullam found that the camp had a classroom for boys. Merza told<br />
Abdullah that he should go. Most of the boys in the class were from villages in<br />
Abdullah's area and spoke the same language as Abdullah. But a few were different. The<br />
other boys were teasing them and even pushing them when they tried to take their place<br />
on the classroom benches. Abdullah watched this, but did nothing. That night, as the<br />
family ate together, he told them about his day in the classroom.<br />
"Some of the kids have really weird clothes. Their hats are like mushrooms.<br />
Boy, do they ever look like dopes."<br />
Merza spoke sharply to his son. "Abdullah, people in this family, even when<br />
things are very difficult, do not look down on others. It isn't important that they are<br />
wearing different clothes. They have the same human heart under the clothes. I never<br />
want to hear that you are making life harder for someone who is different."<br />
Bibi Jan said, "Let's remember the kindness of Amin and Saida. In their eyes,<br />
we were the ones who looked different. Yet they treated us like brothers and sisters." As<br />
Abdullah remembered the kind family in the village that had passed through, he realized<br />
that the few different boys at school probably came from the same language group as<br />
they did.<br />
56
Kaka Ghullam's deep voice boomed out, "The Prophet said...(insert quotation<br />
from.scripture).........."<br />
The next day at school, Abdullah smiled at the different boys and sat next to one<br />
of them in class. When they went to get a drink of water, Abdullah remembered a word<br />
that Saida was trying to teach Ahmed. He said what he hoped was the word for water in<br />
the other language, praying that he wasn't making all Ahmed's funny mistakes. The other<br />
boy's face lit up and he spoke back to him in that language. Abdullah laughed and shook<br />
his head. "That's all I have, just that one word. I'm lost after that," he said.<br />
"That's OK," said the other boy. " I can speak your language fine. I just didn't<br />
want to because the others were making fun of my accent."<br />
The two boys became friends. Abdullah began to learn the other language from<br />
his new friend. His parents were pleased about this. "It's very good to know several<br />
languages," they said. "It will always help you in your life. It just goes to show us that<br />
even out of very bad circumstances, some good things can grow."<br />
57
Reconciliation<br />
Story # 8<br />
Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
58
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
59
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: restoring harmony<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, listening, being<br />
non-judgmental, giving, empathy<br />
Problem Issues: anger, taking anger out on another person, hostility in a<br />
relationship, holding a grudge, stubbornness, shame<br />
Healing Strategies: helping a person empathize with the person that he or she has<br />
wronged, mediating reconciliation, apologizing, asking for and granting<br />
forgiveness, compensating for wrong-doing<br />
60
Reconciliation<br />
Huddled on the floor in a corner of the classroom that was now a temporary home<br />
for eleven families, Abdullah could not sleep. The events of the day swirled around him<br />
like angry ghosts. In the darkness, he could not tell if anyone else in his family was still<br />
awake, but if anyone deserved to be, it was Jameela.<br />
She had treated him like a leper since the day they arrived, and he knew why. But<br />
he was not to blame for what happened. In many ways, he was now a man in the family<br />
and he would have to make some difficult decisions that that required, even if it meant<br />
feeling the wrath of his little sister.<br />
It all started three days ago.<br />
The sky was gray, so the heat was bearable. The dusty road stretched through an<br />
area of low trees and bushes. Ahead trudged Jameela. She was carrying bundles heavy<br />
for a ten-year-old. Her shawl was wrapped around her shoulders. Her head was bent over<br />
and she seemed to be murmuring something into her shawl. "Maybe she's gone mad with<br />
the stress," thought Abdullah. He drew closer behind her, silently.<br />
"How's it going, little kitty?" he heard her saying. "You OK in there? Don't<br />
worry; we'll soon be there. Everything will be all right."<br />
61
"What on earth have you got in there?" Abdullah's loud voice made Jameela<br />
jump.<br />
"Nothing," she said.<br />
"Oh sure," he said. "You talk to your shawl just to pass the time. Did you bring<br />
that stupid kitten?"<br />
"It isn't stupid, and yes, I did bring it. You know how Ahmed loves it. And I love<br />
it. And it'd probably die if we left it behind. Leave me alone."<br />
"It'll probably die if it comes with us, or someone will eat it. Get it through your<br />
head, girl. We're refugees, displaced persons. We're not going on a nice holiday."<br />
Abdullah snatched the kitten out of Jameela's shawl, ran off the road into the bushes, and<br />
threw it into the undergrowth.<br />
kitten.<br />
What was he to do? These were dangerous times and this was no place for a<br />
A few feet away, also unable to sleep, Jameela felt very much alone. She was still<br />
very angry with Abdullah, and she could not look at him without feeling her temper flare.<br />
She did not like this feeling. She would much rather get along with everyone. It would be<br />
nice to forgive him, but he was simply too mean to be forgiven. It was one thing to throw<br />
the kitten into the bushes, but what Abdullah did after just made matters worse.<br />
Jameela remembered that she had put down her bundle and run to find the kitten.<br />
Abdullah had blocked her. She had run at Abdullah and he had pushed her over into the<br />
dirt. Jameela sobbed. Daddy had shouted at them, telling them to hurry or they'd miss the<br />
bus. He had told Jameela to stop crying; there was no time for that nonsense now.<br />
62
Jameela remembered saying to Abdullah, "I hate you. I wish you were dead." and<br />
vowing to herself that she would never speak to Abdullah again. She would not regard<br />
him as her brother.<br />
Yesterday, Jameela helped the family to settle in. She did everything asked of her<br />
and answered when spoken to except when Abdullah spoke to her. She acted as if<br />
Abdullah didn't exist. When she and Abdullah were told to carry a heavy trunk together,<br />
she did, but refused to look at him. Jameela kept this up all day. Most of the adults were<br />
too busy to notice even though everyone lived very close together in their very small<br />
space. But Bibi Jan noticed. She took Jameela outside the building to a spot under a tree.<br />
"What's wrong, my little Jameela?"<br />
“Nothing, Bibi. What do you mean?"<br />
"Just that you're not talking to Abdullah. Something isn't right between you."<br />
"Oh, Bibi, he killed my kitten. Well, it's Ahmed's kitten. He doesn't know about<br />
this. I hate Abdullah. I don't want him for a brother."<br />
"Jameela, Jameela, these are strong words. Tell me just what happened." Bibi Jan<br />
listened carefully. "Hmmmm, that certainly was a serious wrong," she said when Jameela<br />
had finished. "I'll talk to Abdullah about this. I promise."<br />
The next day, Bibi Jan took Abdullah out to sit under the same tree. She asked<br />
Abdullah to tell her what happened about the kitten.<br />
“Jameela is so stupid, she thought she could keep a kitten in a place like this."<br />
Jan.<br />
“Was it your business to decide whether that kitten should live or die?" asked Bibi<br />
63
"Well, no. I guess not."<br />
“Do you have any idea how your sister is feeling?"<br />
"Pretty angry with me, I guess. "<br />
“Yes, and very sad too. She's a tenderhearted girl, Abdullah. I want you to<br />
understand that. She loved that little kitten and helped Ahmed to care for it. She's very,<br />
very upset."<br />
Abdullah was silent.<br />
"What got into you, Abdullah, to do such a thing?"<br />
“I don't know, Bibi. I was angry and sad about leaving home. I felt as if I was<br />
losing everything, all the things I cared about at home. And then I saw Jameela. She had<br />
something she cared about from home. I was jealous." Abdullah paused a long time. "I<br />
shouldn't have done it."<br />
"No, you shouldn't have. Any ideas about what you can do about this?"<br />
"I don't know. I do love her, I guess, as a sister. And now she hates me."<br />
"Well, it's up to you to do something about reconciling. First you should<br />
apologize. Can you do that?"<br />
"I guess," Abdullah gave a tight smile. "It isn't easy, to a sister."<br />
"No, but if you want a loving relationship, you have to. Then you have to ask her<br />
to forgive you. Can you do that?"<br />
"That too? Ok. Anything else?"<br />
64
“Then you should try to find a gift to compensate a little for the loss you caused.<br />
You probably can't make it up completely; because that was a particular little kitten she<br />
loved. But you can do your best."<br />
"Sounds fair enough," said Abdullah. "I'll try, Bibi."<br />
Later, Abdullah showed Bibi Jan a story-book he got from an aid organization in<br />
the camp. It was about right for Jameela's reading level, or perhaps a little above. It had<br />
been carefully chosen. "What should I do now, Bibi?" he asked. "Just give it to her."<br />
"No, she might throw it back at you. You two have some talking to do first. You<br />
go to our tree and I'll get Jameela."<br />
Jameela was reluctant to come with her grandmother. She said she was never<br />
going to talk to Abdullah again, and it was no use trying to make her. "You don't have to<br />
talk," Bibi Jan said, "Just listen." Bibi Jan sat them down either side of her. Jameela<br />
wouldn't look at Abdullah.<br />
"Abdullah, you have things you want to say to Jameela, so you can start."<br />
"I don't want to listen to that person, whatever he might say," said Jameela,<br />
looking in the opposite direction from Abdullah.<br />
"Jameela, listen," said Bibi Jan.<br />
"Well, Jameela, on that day, I was feeling really lousy and angry and sad..."<br />
Jameela said coolly to her grandmother, "Please tell that person that I don't care<br />
how he was feeling. He is nothing to me." Then she turned suddenly and faced Abdullah<br />
and yelled, "You killed my kitten!"<br />
65
"Well, I didn't really kill it. It might be still alive. And after all it couldn't have<br />
lived in this place."<br />
"Abdullah, are you listening to your sister or are you making excuses for<br />
yourself?" said Bibi Jan.<br />
"Jameela, what I did was wrong, and I'm truly sorry," said Abdullah.<br />
sorry?"<br />
"You are? You never, ever apologized to me for anything before. Are you really<br />
"I'm really, truly sorry. I wish I hadn't done it. I realize it hurt you very much, and<br />
I don't really want to hurt my sister."<br />
apologizing."<br />
"Thanks, Abdullah. I'd decided you had no feelings at all, but you do. Thanks for<br />
"Will you forgive me?"<br />
"Sure, and I should apologize to you for saying some pretty bad things to you."<br />
"That's OK. I understand why you did. I got something for you as part of saying I<br />
want to make up, and I want us to be brother and sister again. Here." Abdullah got<br />
out the storybook and gave it to Jameela.<br />
"Oh, Abdullah, it's great. I love it. You definitely do have feelings. I can't believe<br />
I'm saying this, but I'm glad you're my brother." She ran and gave Abdullah a hug.<br />
Bibi Jan spoke. "Here, you two. Help an old woman to her feet. I've had enough<br />
of sitting on the ground. Time for a cup of tea."<br />
66
Merza’s Anger<br />
Story # 9<br />
Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
67
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
68
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: hugging, giving, playfulness<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: listening, supporting others,<br />
cooperation, helpfulness,<br />
69
Problem Issues: taking anger out on others, the effects of anger on children, fear,<br />
loss of self-respect and identity, shame<br />
Healing Strategies: talking about anger, exposing assumptions and clarifying<br />
misunderstandings, hugging and talking to children about difficulties, making<br />
gifts for others<br />
70
Merza’s Anger<br />
Jameela and Ahmed were becoming afraid of their father. He had always been a<br />
kind and gentle man but since losing his leg in the landmine accident, he had been<br />
different. Now he had to use crutches and it bothered him that he could no longer work as<br />
he used to do. Since the family left their village and were in a displaced persons' camp,<br />
Merza, had nothing to do. He went to the makeshift mosque to pray or he sat at home,<br />
and very often he criticized their mother, Haleema, or themselves as they went about their<br />
chores in their small family space in the camp. When he shouted at Ahmed, the little boy<br />
felt it was all his fault, and that he really was a bad child.<br />
Little things could send their father into a rage. He shouted at them. He banged<br />
his crutch on the floor or on the table. It was very frightening.<br />
Ahmed could hear him yelling at their mother and banging. It made him feel<br />
terrible - angry, sad, worried, frightened, all mixed up together. He wanted to do<br />
something but there was nothing he could do. Jameela came to him.<br />
wash."<br />
"Come on, Ahmed, out to the wash-house. Mama told me I had to give you a<br />
"No. Go away," said Ahmed.<br />
"Hey, little brother, Mama says. So we have to. Come on. It won't take long."<br />
Ahmed yelled and kicked a trunk. "Go away, go away, go away, stupid sister!" He<br />
moved away from Jameela. She reached out to grab him. He hit her and ran away, out of<br />
the building. While she was searching for him outside, he slipped back in and hid<br />
behind some boxes in their family’s corner of the room.<br />
71
Bibi Jan and their father came in. Ahmed held himself still and quiet as a little<br />
mouse.<br />
"Merza, I asked you to come in here because I wanted to talk to you privately."<br />
"What is it, Mother?"<br />
"I know you're suffering terribly. I wish I could take away the trials that have<br />
come upon you and the family. Sometimes I see you beginning to rise above your sadness<br />
and sometimes you're sinking under again. But I see you taking it out on Haleema and the<br />
children, and that is adding to their suffering. I notice the children are frightened of you.<br />
They try to keep out of your way."<br />
"Oh Mother, I thought it was because they don't respect me any more - a onelegged<br />
father."<br />
"Merza, respect isn't about how many legs you have. I think they're missing the<br />
gentle father they used to have... who, after all, is still there beneath the anger."<br />
"Mother, you can't imagine how angry I feel sometimes. Why me? Why my<br />
children? How am I going to take care of them now?"<br />
"Can I not imagine it?" said Bibi Jan, with a piercing look at her son. "As for your<br />
questions, there is no answer. Who knows how or why Allah disposes His trials? It is for<br />
us to submit, accept and move on with life. We'll find a way to take care of the children.<br />
First, you must take care of your anger and sadness. To help the children, we must heal<br />
the father."<br />
son?"<br />
Merza gave a glimmer of a smile. "How did such a wise mother get such a foolish<br />
72
"Merza, Merza," Bibi Jan embraced him. "You are a wonderful son, and I think<br />
soon you'll remember that the world still has joy in it."<br />
Ahmed was feeling cramped, behind the boxes. He wriggled a little, knocking<br />
over a cooking pot. His father and grandmother looked behind the boxes and saw him<br />
curled up.<br />
"Ahmed! What are you doing?"<br />
“Hiding from Jameela."<br />
"You heard what we said?"<br />
Ahmed nodded.<br />
His father beckoned him to come and sit on his knee. "Ahmed, you know Papa<br />
has been pretty bad-tempered recently?"<br />
Ahmed nodded.<br />
"Well, it's because I was so sad and angry and worried about all the bad things<br />
that have happened."<br />
"Me too, Papa."<br />
"You too?"<br />
Ahmed nodded.<br />
"Well, you know just how I was feeling then."<br />
Ahmed nodded.<br />
73
"And when I yelled at Mama and you children, it wasn't because you were bad,<br />
but just that I've been feeling so bad."<br />
"Me too, Papa."<br />
"I think we understand each other, Ahmed, you and I." Ahmed felt warm and<br />
relaxed, safe in his father's arms. "So! No more bad temper then, not from me and not<br />
from you, eh?"<br />
"I love you, Papa."<br />
Jameela ran in, looking worried. "Oh Ahmed, I've been looking for you<br />
everywhere." She stopped, startled to see Ahmed on her father's lap. Her father put out<br />
one arm to enclose her too. Jameela giggled at the close father-Ahmed-Jameela hug.<br />
"Papa, I'm supposed to be washing him. Mama told me. Please, Ahmed."<br />
Ahmed couldn't imagine why he had made such a fuss with his sister before. He<br />
really enjoyed her washing him. Usually they played and she got wet too.<br />
Merza wanted to do something for his children. He remembered a wooden<br />
dancing man on a string he had had as a child. He had his tools with him, and he found a<br />
small piece of wood. He cut it to make the man's head, body and arms. There was just<br />
enough for one leg only. "Ah well," thought Merza. "We will have a one-legged dancing<br />
man."<br />
74
Abdullah and the Ten-Foot Man<br />
Story # 11<br />
Written by: Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
75
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
76
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
77
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: comforting and caring<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: caring for the sick, recognizing<br />
and praising virtuous behaviour<br />
Problem Issues: sickness, idealization of war<br />
Healing Strategies: condemnation of violence, teaching the value of peaceful<br />
living<br />
78
Abdullah and the Ten Foot Man<br />
“Stay in bed and rest,” said Merza, gently stroking his son’s forehead.<br />
Abdullah lay with his head on his pillow looking at his father. He felt as heavy as<br />
a stone. His family had been living in the city at his uncle’s house for only one week and<br />
here he was, so sick he couldn’t move. He should be finding a job! Instead, here he was.<br />
The women would have to take care of him. As if they didn’t have enough to do already!<br />
“We need you to get well, Abdullah,” Merza said. “Your search for Uncle Aly<br />
and Auntie Aisha was successful except that you also found this illness. We would never<br />
have been able to leave that camp if not for you. We are all very grateful but now you<br />
must rest and heal.<br />
Abdullah gave in. He felt his body burning with fever. He watched Merza leave<br />
the room, leaning on his crutches. Merza had told his family he would find work today,<br />
but Abdullah couldn’t imagine what work there would be for a man with one leg.<br />
Abdullah stared at the ceiling all morning. Sometimes he was asleep and<br />
sometimes he was awake. His mind was full of memories and pictures. He remembered<br />
coming to this city with his father years ago when he was just a little boy. He<br />
remembered seeing AK-47s for sale in the street. He remembered a man selling piles of<br />
landmines and grenades. Big men in uniforms had stood around the stall looking at the<br />
weapons, laughing and talking.<br />
When he had returned to his village Abdullah had told everyone he was going to<br />
be like those men when he grew up. He would be big and strong with lots of muscles. He<br />
79
would be so tough that when enemies came to his village to hurt people he would fight<br />
them. For a long time after that trip to the city, Abdullah had longed for a time when he<br />
would be able to give up farming and put on a uniform. He would protect the good people<br />
and kill the bad people. Abdullah remembered shooting so many men in his dreams.<br />
Abdullah’s head was hurting as he remembered these things. It felt as if there was<br />
fire in his head, and he was so thirsty!<br />
All of a sudden he felt better, and he found himself walking in the sunshine.<br />
job.”<br />
“Well,” he thought, “I’m glad that’s over! Now that my fever’s gone I can find a<br />
Abdullah decided to take a shortcut through the marketplace. But the marketplace<br />
seemed very big today. He was surprised how big it was. Now he found himself getting<br />
lost!<br />
“How do I get out of this market?” he wondered.<br />
Abdullah could hear people bargaining over prices. One man kept following him,<br />
trying to get him to buy food. Abdullah could smell the aromas of the frying food, he<br />
could see hides and wool for sale, and he could see all the animals. And what was this?<br />
Well, here was a big pile of landmines for sale! How clean and shiny they were! As<br />
Abdullah looked at the landmines he felt a shadow pass over him. He looked up and<br />
there, blocking out the sunlight, was the biggest man Abdullah had ever seen in his life.<br />
He was ten feet tall! He had on a uniform and he looked as if he had fought in many<br />
wars. He had a great, curling black beard. His huge arms were folded over his chest. He<br />
was looking right at Abdullah and he was frowning.<br />
80
Abdullah was frightened and he began to back away from the man.<br />
“Where do you think you’re going?” demanded the man in a deep voice.<br />
“Going?” said Abdullah. “Oh, I'm not going anywhere, sir. I'm just changing<br />
position. I'm moving a bit closer to these landmines. I need to look at them. My father<br />
told me to buy some good ones.”<br />
Abdullah picked up the landmines in his hands, feeling them, looking at them. He<br />
pretended he knew what he was doing.<br />
“Oh, I can’t fool him!” he thought at last. “I’m just a farm boy. I know how to tell<br />
the difference between good fruit and bad fruit but I don’t know the difference between a<br />
good landmine and a bad one!”<br />
The ten-foot man began to laugh. Then he stopped laughing and began to frown<br />
again. He moved closer to Abdullah and pointed a gigantic finger at him.<br />
“Have you ever tasted grapes from Shomaly, boy?”<br />
“Oh!” said Abdullah, thinking very hard. “Just once, sir.”<br />
“Were they good?”<br />
“Very good, sir.”<br />
“Juicy?”<br />
“Very juicy, sir.”<br />
“Sweet?”<br />
“Extremely sweet, sir.”<br />
81
forward.<br />
“Did they blow off your foot when you ate them?” the giant asked, leaning<br />
“Blow off my foot, sir?”<br />
foot?”<br />
“A landmine will blow off your foot. Did the grapes from Shomaly blow off your<br />
“No, sir. My foot was in good shape after I ate the grapes.”<br />
“Did the grapes from Shomaly kill your sister?” he questioned, intently.<br />
“Oh no, sir.”<br />
“A landmine will be happy to kill your sister. Did the grapes from Shomaly blow<br />
off your brother’s fingers?”<br />
“No, sir.”<br />
“Make you go blind?”<br />
“No, sir.”<br />
“Turn you into a man with no legs who begs on the street for money?”<br />
“No, sir.”<br />
“Murder your best friend? Blow the legs off your uncle's donkey?”<br />
“No, sir, no, no. The grapes of Shomaly did none of those things.”<br />
up.<br />
“Then you should be very happy with those grapes.” He concluded, straightening<br />
“Yes, sir.”<br />
82
“A man should be proud to grow such grapes, shouldn't he?”<br />
“Yes, sir.”<br />
“A man should be proud to grow the things that give life. A man should be proud<br />
to build things, to make his people happy. Is it not so?”<br />
“Yes, sir.”<br />
The ten-foot man looked at the pile of landmines in front of Abdullah. His mouth<br />
was pulled down at the corners as if he had tasted something terrible. He spoke again:<br />
“A man should get rid of the things that bring death. Is it not true?”<br />
“Oh yes, sir!”<br />
The ten-foot man suddenly stopped talking. His face seemed pale. He seemed to<br />
grow weak. He leaned on the side of a food stall for support. He seemed to grow smaller,<br />
and there was a look of pain on his face.<br />
Abdullah said, “Are you alright, sir?”<br />
The soldier was definitely growing smaller. Now he was almost the same size as<br />
Abdullah! He turned to look at Abdullah, and then at last he spoke. He voice sounded like<br />
dust.<br />
“No, boy. I am not alright.”<br />
“But who are you, sir?”<br />
“I am the ones who fought.”<br />
“What do you mean, sir?”<br />
83
“I am every boy and every man in Afghanistan who took a rifle and fought and<br />
died. I am Faisal who left his young wife to fight the enemy. I am Rahim who left<br />
university to fight for his country. I am Aslam who gave up growing grapes. I have done<br />
brave deeds that the people will remember. I have done evil deeds that I want to forget. I<br />
am tired. I am so tired now...”<br />
Abdullah began to worry about the man. He looked so pale, so sick, so tired. He<br />
was kneeling on the ground. He looked at Abdullah and the sweat glistened on his<br />
forehead.<br />
“The grapes...the grapes of Shomaly,” the man whispered.<br />
Abdullah looked around him. There was the colour and noise of the market, the<br />
people arguing, the smell of overripe fruit, the dust. He saw a small thin dog running<br />
under a stall with something in its mouth.<br />
“The man is asking for grapes. He must be dying of thirst. I must find him some<br />
grapes,” thought Abdullah. But when he looked down the man was nowhere to be seen.<br />
Abdullah began to run through the market. He began to yell for the man.<br />
“Hush now, Abdullah. Everything’s alright.”<br />
Whose voice was this? Abdullah looked up and saw his grandmother, Bibi Jan.<br />
She was holding a cool, wet cotton cloth on his forehead. Abdullah was lying in his bed.<br />
“Where did he go?” asked Abdullah.<br />
“Hush, now,” said Bibi Jan. “You’ve been having a dream. The fever is going<br />
now. Soon you will be well.”<br />
84
Abdullah lay still in his bed, listening. Later, when his younger sister Jameela<br />
came in to change the cloth on his head, he said to her: “I talked to a ten foot man!”<br />
Liar!”<br />
Jameela laughed. “Oh, Abdullah! There are no men that big! You are a Very Big<br />
Abdullah smiled. But still he couldn’t forget his dream.<br />
When his father came home Abdullah told him about the dream. Merza thought<br />
for a moment. Then he said, “Ah, yes. I believe I have met that man myself.”<br />
“But why did he speak about the grapes of Shomaly?” said Abdullah.<br />
“So juicy, so sweet!” answered Merza. “Why wouldn’t he speak about them?”<br />
very thirsty.<br />
“Now you've made me want to eat those grapes!” laughed Abdullah, who was<br />
“What a good idea!” said Merza. “If you’re feeling better tomorrow maybe we<br />
can go to the market and find some.”<br />
So the next day Merza and Abdullah went to the market, and they found some<br />
grapes from Shomaly. And they were delicious. So juicy! So sweet!<br />
85
A New Life<br />
Story # 12<br />
Written by: Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
86
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
87
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
88
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: new life, joy, motherhood, laughter, restored selfesteem,<br />
hope for the future, love<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: listening, teaching, supporting<br />
each other, affection<br />
Problem Issues: the burden on a child when acting as a parent, fear of change,<br />
homesickness<br />
Healing Strategies: reframing of trauma, physical comforting and nurturing,<br />
expression of fears, restoring kindness and gentleness in relationships.<br />
89
A New Life<br />
Jameela found the streets to be very noisy and dirty. Everyone seemed to be in<br />
such a hurry and not very friendly. She missed the quiet, gentleness and sweet smells of<br />
their farmland and the caring ways of the people of her village. Jameela and Auntie Aisha<br />
were doing the daily shopping for fresh vegetables and meat. Every time Jameela picked<br />
out tomatoes from the market, she felt proud of the tomatoes she used to grow in her<br />
vegetable garden. Her tomatoes were much more delicious looking. Jameela wondered<br />
when her family might be able to go back to the village, when she might get back to her<br />
vegetable garden.<br />
“Auntie Aisha, do you think that we will ever get to go home again?” Jameela had<br />
to speak loudly over the many sounds in the market.<br />
“We will have to wait to see if the fighting has stopped around your village,”<br />
replied Auntie Aisha. “It seems that you miss your home. If you go back to the farm, I<br />
will miss you very much. You are such a wonderful little girl. Someday, I hope to have a<br />
little girl like you.”<br />
“I am so glad that we came to the city for just one reason,” smiled Jameela. “I was<br />
able to meet you, Auntie Aisha. When we go home again, do you think that you could<br />
come to visit me and Ahmed and Abdullah?”<br />
“Jameela, please, do not get too hopeful about going back home. You do not<br />
know what you would find there. Many things might be destroyed by the fighting,”<br />
90
cautioned Auntie Aisha. “Also, Jameela, your father now has his job at the carpet<br />
weavers.”<br />
“I am so happy that Daddy likes to make carpets. He does not get so angry<br />
anymore,” smiled Jameela as they walked toward Auntie Aisha and Uncle Aly’s house.<br />
Just then, they saw Auntie Fatima leaving the house.<br />
“I wonder where Auntie Fatima is going? She is always going out and I don’t<br />
have anyone to teach me my reading lessons. Auntie Aisha, could you teach me? I see<br />
that you read magazines, could you teach me to read them, too?” pleaded Jameela as they<br />
entered the small compound of their home. Many of the family’s belongings were stacked<br />
in the yard. There was no room for these things in the house.<br />
“Jameela, I would like very much to teach you to read but now I have to cook the<br />
meals for Bibi Jan, Kaka Ghulam, Uncle Aly, your father and brother. Your mother is<br />
very tired after the journey from the farm and she did not rest well in the displaced<br />
persons’ camp. Auntie Fatima has gone out again so she can not help with the cooking,”<br />
sighed Auntie Aisha. She was getting tired, too. It was very difficult to try to feed all of<br />
her husband’s family with the same money that she used to feed just her family with.<br />
“Please find Ahmed and make sure that he is not bothering your mother.”<br />
“Why is my mother so tired? Why does she need to rest all the time? Is she sick?”<br />
worried Jameela.<br />
“No, no, Jameela,” laughed Auntie Aisha as she began preparing the meal. “Go<br />
and ask her yourself.”<br />
91
With that Jameela turned and tiptoed quietly into the room where her mother lay<br />
sleeping. Ahmed was asleep beside her. Jameela touched her mother’s hair and thought<br />
how peaceful she looked. Haleema opened her eyes and smiled.<br />
“My beautiful Jameela. I hope that my next daughter will be as kind and gentle as<br />
you.” Haleema stroked Jameela’s hair and held her hand.<br />
“What do you mean ‘next daughter’?” asked Jameela. “You have only one<br />
daughter and that’s me!”<br />
Haleema.<br />
“Jameela, in a few months, you will have a new baby brother or sister,” whispered<br />
“A baby! Oh, no!” shrieked Jameela as she jumped up and ran from the room.<br />
“Jameela! Jameela! What’s wrong?” she said, trying not to awaken Ahmed.<br />
Haleema struggled to her feet and followed Jameela to the yard. She found Jameela<br />
sitting behind the piles of things that no longer fit in the house. Jameela was sobbing, her<br />
head bent upon her knees.<br />
“Jameela, I thought that you would be excited to hear about the new baby,”<br />
coaxed Haleema gently, as she rubbed Jameela’s shaking back.<br />
“How can we have a new baby? We have no home! We have no money! We have<br />
barely any food! Everyone is either angry all the time or sad all the time! I try to keep<br />
Ahmed safe but I can’t keep a baby safe, too!” cried Jameela. Tears of fear streamed<br />
down her face.<br />
92
“My darling Jameela. I am so sorry. I did not know that you felt so frightened. I<br />
did not see that you have felt that you needed to keep Ahmed safe. I have been so sad and<br />
worried about my problems that I did not see that you have been worried too.”<br />
Jameela turned and cried in her mother’s arms.<br />
“And yes, I have been angry about many things. I have been frightened about the<br />
fighting. I am so tired of all the fighting,” Haleema looked at her sobbing child.<br />
“When I was a little girl like you, Jameela, I was so happy. I had so many friends<br />
and then I married your Father. He was so kind.<br />
Jameela’s crying quieted. She had never heard her mother speak of the days<br />
before the war. She could not imagine her mother a young girl, happy and playing with<br />
friends.<br />
“We were married when we were quite young but we worked hard on the farm<br />
and tried to make a good life. Everything changed when the war began.” Haleema’s voice<br />
faded away. She was remembering the years of fear and sadness.<br />
“I wish there was no war,” said Jameela sadly. She put her head in her mother’s<br />
lap. Haleema stroked her hair.<br />
“Yes, Jameela, so do I. But for every beginning there is an ending and for every<br />
ending there is a beginning. Our life on the farm has ended for now and our life in the<br />
city has begun. I believe that this new baby can help us see that there are always new<br />
beginnings.” Haleema smiled. She looked up to see her husband coming into the yard.<br />
93
Merza saw his wife and daughter together and paused to admire their closeness. It<br />
seemed that it had been a long time since her had seen his wife so peaceful. He waved his<br />
crutch and stepped into the house.<br />
“You see, Jameela, there is another new beginning. Your father has found a job<br />
that makes him proud again. He is going to be a very fine carpet maker,” said Haleema.<br />
“Your brother, Abdullah, has decided to learn to be a landmine educator. And so, if we<br />
should ever be able to go back to the farm, Father and Abdullah will be able to go to<br />
work and we will hire labour for the farm work. Your Grandparents would be very happy<br />
to go home again.”<br />
Jameela sat up and looked into her mother’s face, wiping away the tears.<br />
“Leaving our farm was an ending but coming to the city was a beginning! And<br />
Daddy’s new job and Abdullah’s new job, those are beginnings too! If we did not come<br />
to the city, they would not have learned these new jobs. And I finally met Auntie Aisha!<br />
I would not have met her if we had stayed in the village. That’s a new beginning too!<br />
Jameela jumped to her feet!<br />
“And we are going to have a new baby!!!!” she whispered to her mother,<br />
grinning. Jameela twirled around, laughing. “That really is a new beginning!”<br />
94
Going Home<br />
Story # 13<br />
Written by: Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
95
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were already<br />
experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of their<br />
homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine while<br />
working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
96
efore his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
97
the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
“Going Home” begins with the news that after a year, the family is finally<br />
going to make the journey back home. As the family makes their preparations for<br />
their return, it is clear that there is still some tension between Hameela and<br />
Fatima.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: hope for the future, returning home, happiness<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: caring, cooperation, family<br />
unity, affection, industry, religious devotion, leadership and responsibility,<br />
creativity<br />
Problem Issues: fear of the unknown<br />
Healing Strategies: persevering to achieve one’s dreams, acknowledgement of<br />
other’s work and contributions<br />
98
Going Home<br />
Jameela and Ahmed sat together in the small yard of Uncle Aly’s house. They<br />
were trying to count the stars.<br />
“Why are there so many stars at home and almost no stars here?” Ahmed asked<br />
his sister. “Did they run away to the country?”<br />
‘No, Ahmed,” laughed Jameela, “the lights in the city are too bright for the<br />
smallest star to shine through.”<br />
“Oh, I see,” said Ahmed thoughtfully.<br />
“Jameela! Ahmed! Come inside, please,” called their mother, Haleema. The<br />
children jumped up and ran inside where they found their grandparents, parents, brother<br />
and uncle and aunts. Everyone was trying to look serious.<br />
“What’s wrong?” asked Jameela hesitantly.<br />
“Surprise! We’re going home! “ Everyone shouted in unison.<br />
“Jameela, Ahmed, we’re going home!” laughed Auntie Fatima. “Now you can<br />
grow your tomatoes again and play with your kittens down by the river!”<br />
Abdullah rubbed his brother’s head. “Auntie Aisha and Uncle Aly are taking a<br />
holiday. They are going to come with us and help get the farm working again.”<br />
“But Mother, are you able to travel so far just now?” asked Jameela.<br />
“Yes, Jameela, we will be fine,” smiled Haleema. “ We will pack tomorrow and<br />
leave the next day.”<br />
99
“Yes,” said Merza, “we have sold some carpets and have enough money to go<br />
home.”<br />
Ahmed looked puzzled. “But will people in the country buy your carpets, Daddy?<br />
You make such beautiful carpets now.”<br />
“Ahmed, you are so thoughtful,” said Merza, giving his son a hug. “Everyone will<br />
buy my carpets, they will be the best in the region. All I need now is a loom.”<br />
“Abdullah, are you coming home, too?” asked Jameela “What about your job?”<br />
“I finished today,” said Abdullah, proudly. “I’ve been transferred. Now I’m the<br />
Landmine Educator for our region. I start work in two weeks.”<br />
Jameela looked around the room. Everyone was smiling. She could not remember<br />
seeing everyone smiling before. Tears streamed down her cheeks, gathering at the ends of<br />
her grin. Everyone was together and everyone was happy. Jameela was overjoyed.<br />
Bibi Jan took her granddaughter’s hand. “We do not know if the house will be<br />
damaged or completely destroyed. Our village won’t be the same. Many of our friends<br />
died in the fighting. We must be prepared for the changes.”<br />
“We shall pray for our friends and neighbours,” added Kaka Ghullam. “We shall<br />
pray for a safe journey and a home at the end of the journey.” The family prayed<br />
together. Hope and fear mingled in their hearts.<br />
The next morning, Haleema was awake early.<br />
100
“Fatima, get up and get packing. We have a great deal of packing. Hurry up,”<br />
ordered Haleema. “Now that you have finished your course, it is time to do some work<br />
again.”<br />
“I will help.” Fatima watched her sister-in-law struggle to lift a crate of food.<br />
“Haleema, let me do that for you. You need to look after yourself.”<br />
“You don’t need to tell me what to do just because you are a midwife now,” said<br />
Haleema as she walked out of the door with the crate.<br />
“Why is Mother always mad at Auntie Fatima?” whispered Jameela to Bibi Jan.<br />
“Auntie Fatima needs to work hard to help this family. Your mother is making<br />
sure that she does,” said Bibi Jan.<br />
“I wish they could be friends,” sighed Jameela.<br />
“Mother! Mother!” Abdullah called from the yard. “We bought a loom for Dad!<br />
Look! And we bought another donkey and a cart to carry all our belongings back home.<br />
The cart needs a little fixing but now you and Bibi Jan can rest in the cart on the<br />
journey.”<br />
“Abdullah, how did you and your father pay for all these? They must have been<br />
expensive.” asked Haleema.<br />
“ I met a man who had just come into the city and he wanted to buy my bike.<br />
Then he asked us if we knew where to sell the donkey and cart. We got to talking and we<br />
told him we are going home and could use the cart. He said the cart was not much good<br />
without the donkey so we traded my bike and one of Dad’s carpets for the donkey and the<br />
cart. He was very generous but we both got what we needed. As for the loom, Dad sold<br />
101
another one of his carpets to my teacher and that was enough money to buy the loom,”<br />
exclaimed Abdullah excitedly.<br />
“Thank you, Abdullah for contributing your bicycle for the family’s needs. You<br />
are learning very keen bartering skills from your father. You are growing into such a fine<br />
young man. I am very proud of you, son.” Haleema touched her son’s cheek gently. Bibi<br />
Jan and Jameela watched from the doorway as Merza packed the loom on the cart.<br />
“It is a fine donkey and cart. Well done, Abdullah,” praised Bibi Jan. “And I am<br />
sure that your father is very happy to have the loom. Everything is working out so well. I<br />
hope our house has been blessed with some good fortune too.”<br />
Inside, Ahmed woke to find Auntie Fatima and Auntie Aisha packing and sorting.<br />
No one noticed the little boy as he dressed and packed and tidied. He opened the door<br />
each time someone needed to pass through. He gave fresh water to the donkey. Everyone<br />
was so busy that they took no notice of his efforts to help. Finally, he sat down in the<br />
middle of the floor and folded his arms across his chest.<br />
asked.<br />
Bibi Jan frowned at the pouting child. “What’s wrong, my little Ahmed?” she<br />
“I’ve helped and helped and no one has noticed. I’ve worked very hard.”<br />
“Everyone is working hard, Ahmed. It is good that you are helping, too. Thank<br />
you for all of your work,” said Bibi Jan.<br />
“I just want to be back in the country.” He looked up at his mother with a sly grin.<br />
“Little stars can shine brighter there.”<br />
102
Haleema and Fatima<br />
Story # 14<br />
Written by: Mary-Jo Land<br />
Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
103
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
104
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
105
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema<br />
and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Aly<br />
and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema’s baby is<br />
born, and Fatima helps her, using her new skills as a midwife. Though there were<br />
difficulties, Fatima is able to safeguard their health. This prompts Haleema to<br />
reconcile with her sister-in-law.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: hope, birth<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: determination, service to<br />
others, thankfulness, loving, caring, giving,<br />
Problem Issues: fear of the unknown, grief<br />
Healing Strategies: storytelling, cooperation, hospitality and generosity to others,<br />
finding a new purpose in life, asking for and granting forgiveness,<br />
106
Haleema and Fatima<br />
They had been walking for what seemed like days but it had only been a few<br />
hours. Early that morning they had set out full of hope and expectancy, but with every<br />
hour, they met more and more families, tired and hungry, cold and hopeless, seeking<br />
better fortune in the city.<br />
Jameela watched the long line of travelers.<br />
“Why is everyone going to the city? Why are they leaving the country and we are<br />
going back to the country?” asked the young girl of her grandmother.<br />
Bibi Jan sighed. “In different parts of the country there is very little water so it is<br />
difficult to grow any crops. In our region, the water is scarce but there is enough. Don’t<br />
worry, Jameela. Remember when we left home, you said, you promised, that everything<br />
was going to be all right? Well, it was. The city was good for all of us. Your father<br />
learned to make carpets and now he can support his family. We will get by even if there<br />
is very little water for crops. Your brother learned to be a Landmine Educator and will be<br />
very helpful to our village and the whole region. He will save many lives by helping<br />
children to avoid the mines. Auntie Fatima has also learned a great deal about helping<br />
other people.” Bibi Jan stroked her granddaughter’s hair as they huddled together under<br />
the shawl. The donkey plodded steadily forward. “What a blessing this cart is; I am so<br />
thankful to Abdullah for trading his bicycle.”<br />
107
Jameela’s head nodded with the motion of the cart. She had fallen asleep. Bibi Jan<br />
tucked the shawl around her and looked at her family. Her husband, Kaka Ghullam,<br />
walked slowly leaning on the donkey. In the other hand, he held the hand of his grandson,<br />
Ahmed. She could hear that he was telling him a story about the old days to keep his<br />
thoughts from his fatigue.<br />
Merza, her son, valiantly hobbled along on his crutches. Bibi Jan cringed to think<br />
of the pain and exhaustion he must feel. As soon as Jameela has some sleep, they would<br />
let him rest in the cart. Abdullah held his father’s arm, lending him his strength.<br />
Bibi Jan turned and looked behind her. Her three daughters-in-law walked<br />
together talking quietly. In the middle was Haleema who would soon have Bibi Jan’s<br />
fourth grandchild. Haleema looked tired. Fatima and Aisha each held an arm. Her pace<br />
was slowing.<br />
Aly followed, leading the second donkey, which was loaded with all of their<br />
belongings. How happy she was that her second son was coming home again. Somehow<br />
it took the sting out her longing for her youngest son Yunus, who was killed by the<br />
landmine that cost Merza his leg. Now they would be together until the farm was repaired<br />
and operational again.<br />
walk again.”<br />
Jameela stirred. “Jameela, we must let your mother and father rest. It is time to<br />
“Yes, Bibi Jan, I’ll walk,” replied the girl sleepily.<br />
“Kaka Ghullam, let Merza and Haleema ride now please.”<br />
“Haleema, you must ride now, you look very tired,” said Bibi Jan.<br />
108
“Yes, I am afraid that I cannot walk further.” As Haleema started to climb into the<br />
cart, she cried out in pain.<br />
“Mother, what’s wrong? Are you all right?” Jameela was frightened by the pain<br />
she could see in her mother’s face.<br />
“I think,” moaned Haleema, “we must find some shelter” Haleema moaned.<br />
Kaka Ghullam turned to Abdullah. “Go to that house up the road there and tell<br />
them that your mother is going to have her baby. See if they will provide her with some<br />
shelter. Hurry. Pray to Allah they will be so kind.”<br />
Jameela stared at her new sister cradled in Bibi Jan’s arms. She was amazed at the<br />
perfection of each tiny finger. Gently, she kissed the little hand.<br />
Bibi Jan looked at Fatima. “ Fatima you were very helpful and very skilled. Thank<br />
you for helping this new life come into the world. Haleema and the baby might not be<br />
alive had you not been able to help them through the difficulties. This baby is very tiny<br />
and born too early. I am very proud of you.” Bibi Jan smiled at her young daughter-inlaw.<br />
“Thank you, Fatima,” said Haleema. “I am so grateful to you .You saved her life.”<br />
“Just rest now, Haleema,” soothed Fatima, turning to take Jameela’s hand. “Let’s<br />
go and let your mother rest.”<br />
Fatima and Jameela walked through the doorway of the room. Looking up at them<br />
were many faces, some of them strangers whose language was unknown to them.<br />
109
“The baby is a girl and she is healthy. Haleema is resting. Everything is all right.”<br />
Fatima looked to their hosts and smiled her thanks for their generosity.<br />
“Jameela, please go tell the men our good news.”<br />
“Yes, Auntie Fatima.” Jameela ran outside to tell the others.<br />
The next morning, Haleema, the baby and Merza climbed into the cart. The sun<br />
warmed their backs. Their hosts had been very kind and generous. Gifts were exchanged,<br />
as were promises to visit in the future. The new baby had raised everyone’s hopes for the<br />
family’s return to the farm.<br />
“ Merza, I am very proud of Fatima,” admitted Haleema. “She has worked very<br />
hard even though she has been so sad. I hope that her new role as midwife to our village<br />
will help her find purpose in her life without Yunus. She is so young to be a widow.”<br />
“Fatima has suffered a great deal. Perhaps we have overlooked her suffering<br />
because of our own,” said Merza.<br />
“I am sorry that I have been unkind to her,” said Haleema sadly.<br />
“Haleema, it is Fatima who needs to hear these words.” And with that, Merza<br />
stopped the cart, grabbing his crutches. “I will ask her to come.”<br />
Fatima climbed up and looked carefully at Haleema.<br />
“How do you feel?” she inquired.<br />
“I feel very well, thanks to you,” smiled Haleema<br />
110
“ I am sorry for that I was not very helpful at Aly’s house but I had to take the<br />
midwife course to keep myself from thinking about Yunus all the time. I try to think of<br />
his life but all I see is his death. I thought that perhaps seeing new life coming into the<br />
world would help me to remember his life. I had hoped that your baby would be a boy so<br />
that he could be named Yunus.”<br />
Haleema held Fatima’s hand. “ We would like to call her Fatima. Without you,<br />
she might not be alive. I hope that you can forgive my unkind words and allow us to<br />
show our gratitude,” said Haleema.<br />
Fatima.”<br />
Fatima wiped away her tears. “I would be honoured if you would name her<br />
The two women embraced each other. Each could feel the warm soft bundle of<br />
the new baby sleeping peacefully between them. Warm, pink rays of the rising sun<br />
glowed on the road as they headed for home.<br />
111
The End of the Journey<br />
Story # 15<br />
Written by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
112
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
113
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
114
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema<br />
and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Aly<br />
and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema’s baby is<br />
born, and Fatima helps her, using her new skills as a midwife. Though there were<br />
difficulties, Fatima is able to safeguard their health. This prompts Haleema to<br />
reconcile with her sister-in-law.<br />
The healing process and renewal of the bonds that exist within the family<br />
are very evident in “The End of the Journey”. It opens with a dream that Bibi<br />
Jan has, which indicates the level of anxiety she has for the return trip and the<br />
condition of their home when they arrive. When they do, they find that the<br />
damages are minimal, and they begin the process of rediscovering what is truly<br />
important during the first meal they share together.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: harmony, joy in simplicity, hope<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, helpfulness,<br />
Problem Issues: fear of the unknown,<br />
Healing Strategies: rekindling of relationships, rediscovery of heritage,<br />
fulfillment of hopes and dreams, family unity, returning home<br />
115
The End of the Journey<br />
Bibi Jan dreamed.<br />
She was alone in a large open-air market looking for the man who was to take her<br />
home. Anxiously, she gazed into the faces of those she passed, looking for signs of<br />
recognition. But there were none. The few who even met her eyes, darted their glance<br />
away, impatiently in search of a foolish vendor with valuable goods.<br />
As she approached an old woman waving multi-coloured scarves, Bibi Jan felt a<br />
hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a blind man holding two pairs of shoes; one<br />
heavily worn, the other new.<br />
“Which ones would you like?” he asked.<br />
sockets.<br />
“I am not sure,” she replied, cautiously, her attention fixed on his empty eye<br />
“Then I shall advise you. These ones,” he said, extending the older pair, “know<br />
where you’ve been and will take you back much faster. These others will take some<br />
getting used to, and will go more slowly, but when you finally reach your destination,<br />
you will see it in a different light. Please, accept one as a gift.”<br />
she picked.<br />
Bibi Jan held a finger to her lips while she decided, and then reached for the one<br />
She awoke to the sound of Jameela coughing and stirring in her sleep, on the<br />
ground a few feet away from her. The child sat up suddenly and looked around her as if<br />
unsure where she was. When her eyes got to Bibi Jan, she could see that she was awake.<br />
116
“Can you not sleep, Bibi?” she asked.<br />
“I can sleep, little one.”<br />
“Did I waken you?”<br />
“Sometimes it is more restful to be awake than to sleep”<br />
For a moment, there was only the sound of the rhythmic breathing of their<br />
sleeping family around them.<br />
“Will we still be home tomorrow?” Jameela asked.<br />
“Yes, little one.”<br />
“And will it be the same?”<br />
“It will be what it is,” her grandmother replied. “It will be what it is.”<br />
A little after dawn, the family awoke and made their preparations for the last leg<br />
of their journey. They loaded up the cart and donkey and bade farewell to their hosts,<br />
Amin and Saida, thanking them for their hospitality a second time. Merza gave them the<br />
carpet he had weaved for them in the city.<br />
They traveled much of the way in silence that morning, although Merza would<br />
sometimes tell Ahmed a story from his childhood days. Haleema listened too. She was<br />
pleased to see that Merza was growing less and less angry, and was able to sift through<br />
memories of a happier time.<br />
Once, they passed a group of mine workers clearing a field, and Abdullah went<br />
over to them to help, and gather advice, and to give some where he could. The others<br />
117
stayed by the side of the road and rested and ate some dried fruit and biscuits. Haleema<br />
asked Fatima to hold her baby while she ate. Ahmed was giving his ears a rest from the<br />
tales of his father and was running about chasing butterflies. After a while, Abdullah<br />
rejoined them, ate a little, and then urged them onward.<br />
By late afternoon, they could see their village up ahead in the distance. Some of<br />
the houses had been bombed, others looted, and still others miraculously untouched.<br />
Their pace picked up as their thoughts turned to their house and its condition.<br />
“Do you think it will be all right, Bibi?” Jameela wondered.<br />
“One can only hope,” Bibi Jan answered.<br />
“I think it will,” Ahmed offered confidently.<br />
When at last the donkey arrived at the entrance, they were relieved to find that,<br />
outside of some damage to one of the walls, the house looked as it had the day they left.<br />
For the next few minutes, the travelers inspected the compound as a group, led by Bibi<br />
Jan. As they sized up its state, they seemed to be looking at their home and garden as if<br />
for the first time. When they were all satisfied that it was as they remembered, each one<br />
went in search of special memories.<br />
Bibi Jan headed nervously for the stable area under the house, where she began to<br />
rummage through the straw. After a few minutes, she grew fearful, until suddenly, she<br />
felt the corner of the suitcase. Pushing the straw aside, she removed the suitcase and<br />
opened it to reveal a large number of photographs of her family history--- from her<br />
wedding, the births of all her children and grandchildren, their marriages, and many other<br />
occasions. They were a little dusty but they were safe and unbroken.<br />
118
In her garden, Jameela walked with her eyes closed over to the spot where the<br />
pebble drawing had been. After offering a brief prayer to Allah, she opened here eyes to<br />
see that, to her amazement, not one pebble was out of place. She reached down and<br />
picked one up, clutching it tightly in her hands.<br />
Ahmed, meanwhile, was in the house, reaching into a crack in the wall of the<br />
house to remove a wooden horse his father had given. He was walking back outside to<br />
show Bibi Jan his treasure when he ran into Jameela heading the same way, clutching<br />
something close to her chest.<br />
Inside, preparations for the evening meal were being made. Bibi Jan called to the<br />
children and they went in to help. Jameela could never recall being so eager to do chores<br />
before. Their simple meal became a feast in their imaginations as the whole family<br />
gathered and gave thanks to Allah. Jameela studied the radiant faces of her family. Her<br />
mother cradled baby Fatima, while Auntie Fatima and Auntie Aisha served the food.<br />
Abdullah seemed to be such a grown man, so different from the angry brother a year ago.<br />
Bibi Jan was smiling her biggest smile while Kaka Ghullam, her father and Uncle Aly<br />
made their plans for the repairs. Everyone was exhausted but so very, very happy.<br />
Jameela looked over to Ahmed and smiled.<br />
“It is good to be home,” she said.<br />
Ahmed smiled and nodded in agreement. “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”<br />
119
The End of the Journey<br />
Story # 15<br />
Written by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
120
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
121
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
before his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
122
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema<br />
and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Aly<br />
and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema’s baby is<br />
born, and Fatima helps her, using her new skills as a midwife. Though there were<br />
difficulties, Fatima is able to safeguard their health. This prompts Haleema to<br />
reconcile with her sister-in-law.<br />
The healing process and renewal of the bonds that exist within the family<br />
are very evident in “The End of the Journey”. It opens with a dream that Bibi<br />
Jan has, which indicates the level of anxiety she has for the return trip and the<br />
condition of their home when they arrive. When they do, they find that the<br />
damages are minimal, and they begin the process of rediscovering what is truly<br />
important during the first meal they share together.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: harmony, joy in simplicity, hope<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, helpfulness,<br />
Problem Issues: fear of the unknown,<br />
Healing Strategies: rekindling of relationships, rediscovery of heritage,<br />
fulfillment of hopes and dreams, family unity, returning home<br />
123
The End of the Journey<br />
Bibi Jan dreamed.<br />
She was alone in a large open-air market looking for the man who was to take her<br />
home. Anxiously, she gazed into the faces of those she passed, looking for signs of<br />
recognition. But there were none. The few who even met her eyes, darted their glance<br />
away, impatiently in search of a foolish vendor with valuable goods.<br />
As she approached an old woman waving multi-coloured scarves, Bibi Jan felt a<br />
hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a blind man holding two pairs of shoes; one<br />
heavily worn, the other new.<br />
“Which ones would you like?” he asked.<br />
sockets.<br />
“I am not sure,” she replied, cautiously, her attention fixed on his empty eye<br />
“Then I shall advise you. These ones,” he said, extending the older pair, “know<br />
where you’ve been and will take you back much faster. These others will take some<br />
getting used to, and will go more slowly, but when you finally reach your destination,<br />
you will see it in a different light. Please, accept one as a gift.”<br />
she picked.<br />
Bibi Jan held a finger to her lips while she decided, and then reached for the one<br />
She awoke to the sound of Jameela coughing and stirring in her sleep, on the<br />
ground a few feet away from her. The child sat up suddenly and looked around her as if<br />
unsure where she was. When her eyes got to Bibi Jan, she could see that she was awake.<br />
124
“Can you not sleep, Bibi?” she asked.<br />
“I can sleep, little one.”<br />
“Did I waken you?”<br />
“Sometimes it is more restful to be awake than to sleep”<br />
For a moment, there was only the sound of the rhythmic breathing of their<br />
sleeping family around them.<br />
“Will we still be home tomorrow?” Jameela asked.<br />
“Yes, little one.”<br />
“And will it be the same?”<br />
“It will be what it is,” her grandmother replied. “It will be what it is.”<br />
A little after dawn, the family awoke and made their preparations for the last leg<br />
of their journey. They loaded up the cart and donkey and bade farewell to their hosts,<br />
Amin and Saida, thanking them for their hospitality a second time. Merza gave them the<br />
carpet he had weaved for them in the city.<br />
They traveled much of the way in silence that morning, although Merza would<br />
sometimes tell Ahmed a story from his childhood days. Haleema listened too. She was<br />
pleased to see that Merza was growing less and less angry, and was able to sift through<br />
memories of a happier time.<br />
Once, they passed a group of mine workers clearing a field, and Abdullah went<br />
over to them to help, and gather advice, and to give some where he could. The others<br />
125
stayed by the side of the road and rested and ate some dried fruit and biscuits. Haleema<br />
asked Fatima to hold her baby while she ate. Ahmed was giving his ears a rest from the<br />
tales of his father and was running about chasing butterflies. After a while, Abdullah<br />
rejoined them, ate a little, and then urged them onward.<br />
By late afternoon, they could see their village up ahead in the distance. Some of<br />
the houses had been bombed, others looted, and still others miraculously untouched.<br />
Their pace picked up as their thoughts turned to their house and its condition.<br />
“Do you think it will be all right, Bibi?” Jameela wondered.<br />
“One can only hope,” Bibi Jan answered.<br />
“I think it will,” Ahmed offered confidently.<br />
When at last the donkey arrived at the entrance, they were relieved to find that,<br />
outside of some damage to one of the walls, the house looked as it had the day they left.<br />
For the next few minutes, the travelers inspected the compound as a group, led by Bibi<br />
Jan. As they sized up its state, they seemed to be looking at their home and garden as if<br />
for the first time. When they were all satisfied that it was as they remembered, each one<br />
went in search of special memories.<br />
Bibi Jan headed nervously for the stable area under the house, where she began to<br />
rummage through the straw. After a few minutes, she grew fearful, until suddenly, she<br />
felt the corner of the suitcase. Pushing the straw aside, she removed the suitcase and<br />
opened it to reveal a large number of photographs of her family history--- from her<br />
wedding, the births of all her children and grandchildren, their marriages, and many other<br />
occasions. They were a little dusty but they were safe and unbroken.<br />
126
In her garden, Jameela walked with her eyes closed over to the spot where the<br />
pebble drawing had been. After offering a brief prayer to Allah, she opened here eyes to<br />
see that, to her amazement, not one pebble was out of place. She reached down and<br />
picked one up, clutching it tightly in her hands.<br />
Ahmed, meanwhile, was in the house, reaching into a crack in the wall of the<br />
house to remove a wooden horse his father had given. He was walking back outside to<br />
show Bibi Jan his treasure when he ran into Jameela heading the same way, clutching<br />
something close to her chest.<br />
Inside, preparations for the evening meal were being made. Bibi Jan called to the<br />
children and they went in to help. Jameela could never recall being so eager to do chores<br />
before. Their simple meal became a feast in their imaginations as the whole family<br />
gathered and gave thanks to Allah. Jameela studied the radiant faces of her family. Her<br />
mother cradled baby Fatima, while Auntie Fatima and Auntie Aisha served the food.<br />
Abdullah seemed to be such a grown man, so different from the angry brother a year ago.<br />
Bibi Jan was smiling her biggest smile while Kaka Ghullam, her father and Uncle Aly<br />
made their plans for the repairs. Everyone was exhausted but so very, very happy.<br />
Jameela looked over to Ahmed and smiled.<br />
“It is good to be home,” she said.<br />
Ahmed smiled and nodded in agreement. “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”<br />
127
The End of the Journey<br />
Story # 15<br />
Written by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
128
Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
129
efore his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
130
the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema<br />
and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Aly<br />
and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema’s baby is<br />
born, and Fatima helps her, using her new skills as a midwife. Though there were<br />
difficulties, Fatima is able to safeguard their health. This prompts Haleema to<br />
reconcile with her sister-in-law.<br />
The healing process and renewal of the bonds that exist within the family<br />
are very evident in “The End of the Journey”. It opens with a dream that Bibi<br />
Jan has, which indicates the level of anxiety she has for the return trip and the<br />
condition of their home when they arrive. When they do, they find that the<br />
damages are minimal, and they begin the process of rediscovering what is truly<br />
important during the first meal they share together.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: harmony, joy in simplicity, hope<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: cooperation, helpfulness,<br />
Problem Issues: fear of the unknown,<br />
Healing Strategies: rekindling of relationships, rediscovery of heritage,<br />
fulfillment of hopes and dreams, family unity, returning home<br />
131
The End of the Journey<br />
Bibi Jan dreamed.<br />
She was alone in a large open-air market looking for the man who was to take her<br />
home. Anxiously, she gazed into the faces of those she passed, looking for signs of<br />
recognition. But there were none. The few who even met her eyes, darted their glance<br />
away, impatiently in search of a foolish vendor with valuable goods.<br />
As she approached an old woman waving multi-coloured scarves, Bibi Jan felt a<br />
hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a blind man holding two pairs of shoes; one<br />
heavily worn, the other new.<br />
“Which ones would you like?” he asked.<br />
sockets.<br />
“I am not sure,” she replied, cautiously, her attention fixed on his empty eye<br />
“Then I shall advise you. These ones,” he said, extending the older pair, “know<br />
where you’ve been and will take you back much faster. These others will take some<br />
getting used to, and will go more slowly, but when you finally reach your destination,<br />
you will see it in a different light. Please, accept one as a gift.”<br />
she picked.<br />
Bibi Jan held a finger to her lips while she decided, and then reached for the one<br />
She awoke to the sound of Jameela coughing and stirring in her sleep, on the<br />
ground a few feet away from her. The child sat up suddenly and looked around her as if<br />
unsure where she was. When her eyes got to Bibi Jan, she could see that she was awake.<br />
“Can you not sleep, Bibi?” she asked.<br />
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“I can sleep, little one.”<br />
“Did I waken you?”<br />
“Sometimes it is more restful to be awake than to sleep”<br />
For a moment, there was only the sound of the rhythmic breathing of their<br />
sleeping family around them.<br />
“Will we still be home tomorrow?” Jameela asked.<br />
“Yes, little one.”<br />
“And will it be the same?”<br />
“It will be what it is,” her grandmother replied. “It will be what it is.”<br />
A little after dawn, the family awoke and made their preparations for the last leg<br />
of their journey. They loaded up the cart and donkey and bade farewell to their hosts,<br />
Amin and Saida, thanking them for their hospitality a second time. Merza gave them the<br />
carpet he had weaved for them in the city.<br />
They traveled much of the way in silence that morning, although Merza would<br />
sometimes tell Ahmed a story from his childhood days. Haleema listened too. She was<br />
pleased to see that Merza was growing less and less angry, and was able to sift through<br />
memories of a happier time.<br />
Once, they passed a group of mine workers clearing a field, and Abdullah went<br />
over to them to help, and gather advice, and to give some where he could. The others<br />
stayed by the side of the road and rested and ate some dried fruit and biscuits. Haleema<br />
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asked Fatima to hold her baby while she ate. Ahmed was giving his ears a rest from the<br />
tales of his father and was running about chasing butterflies. After a while, Abdullah<br />
rejoined them, ate a little, and then urged them onward.<br />
By late afternoon, they could see their village up ahead in the distance. Some of<br />
the houses had been bombed, others looted, and still others miraculously untouched.<br />
Their pace picked up as their thoughts turned to their house and its condition.<br />
“Do you think it will be all right, Bibi?” Jameela wondered.<br />
“One can only hope,” Bibi Jan answered.<br />
“I think it will,” Ahmed offered confidently.<br />
When at last the donkey arrived at the entrance, they were relieved to find that,<br />
outside of some damage to one of the walls, the house looked as it had the day they left.<br />
For the next few minutes, the travelers inspected the compound as a group, led by Bibi<br />
Jan. As they sized up its state, they seemed to be looking at their home and garden as if<br />
for the first time. When they were all satisfied that it was as they remembered, each one<br />
went in search of special memories.<br />
Bibi Jan headed nervously for the stable area under the house, where she began to<br />
rummage through the straw. After a few minutes, she grew fearful, until suddenly, she<br />
felt the corner of the suitcase. Pushing the straw aside, she removed the suitcase and<br />
opened it to reveal a large number of photographs of her family history--- from her<br />
wedding, the births of all her children and grandchildren, their marriages, and many other<br />
occasions. They were a little dusty but they were safe and unbroken.<br />
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In her garden, Jameela walked with her eyes closed over to the spot where the<br />
pebble drawing had been. After offering a brief prayer to Allah, she opened here eyes to<br />
see that, to her amazement, not one pebble was out of place. She reached down and<br />
picked one up, clutching it tightly in her hands.<br />
Ahmed, meanwhile, was in the house, reaching into a crack in the wall of the<br />
house to remove a wooden horse his father had given. He was walking back outside to<br />
show Bibi Jan his treasure when he ran into Jameela heading the same way, clutching<br />
something close to her chest.<br />
Inside, preparations for the evening meal were being made. Bibi Jan called to the<br />
children and they went in to help. Jameela could never recall being so eager to do chores<br />
before. Their simple meal became a feast in their imaginations as the whole family<br />
gathered and gave thanks to Allah. Jameela studied the radiant faces of her family. Her<br />
mother cradled baby Fatima, while Auntie Fatima and Auntie Aisha served the food.<br />
Abdullah seemed to be such a grown man, so different from the angry brother a year ago.<br />
Bibi Jan was smiling her biggest smile while Kaka Ghullam, her father and Uncle Aly<br />
made their plans for the repairs. Everyone was exhausted but so very, very happy.<br />
Jameela looked over to Ahmed and smiled.<br />
“It is good to be home,” she said.<br />
Ahmed smiled and nodded in agreement. “This is the best meal I’ve ever had.”<br />
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Building the Future<br />
Story # 16<br />
Written by: Dr. Joanna Santa Barbara<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Mary-Jo Land<br />
Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Translated by:<br />
Illustrated by:<br />
Edited by: Kevin Arthur Land<br />
Project Coordinators: Dr. Seddiq Weera and<br />
Dr. Graeme MacQueen<br />
Centre for Peace Studies, <strong>McMaster</strong> <strong>University</strong><br />
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada<br />
This Project is Funded by CIDA<br />
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Story Characters:<br />
Jameela: a ten-year-old girl who lives with her family in a rural area of<br />
Afghanistan.<br />
Ahmed: Jameela’s five-year-old brother.<br />
Abdullah: Jameela’s fifteen-year-old brother.<br />
Haleema: The children’s mother.<br />
Merza: The children’s father.<br />
Bibi Jan: The paternal grandmother.<br />
Kaka Ghullam: The paternal grandfather.<br />
Yunus: The children’s uncle who killed by a land at age 20, youngest son of Bibi<br />
Jan and Kaka Ghullam.<br />
Fatima: The children’s aunt, young widow of Uncle Yunus.<br />
Aly: The children’s uncle, who lives in the city<br />
Aisha: The children’s aunt, Aly’s wife, who lives in the city.<br />
Story Synopsis:<br />
Jameela lives with her family in a village in Afghanistan. They were<br />
already experiencing a great deal of difficulty during the domestic struggles of<br />
their homeland when tragedy struck. After coming in contact with a land mine<br />
while working in the field, her Uncle Yunus was killed and her father lost a leg.<br />
In “Jameela’s Garden”, Jameela and her younger brother Ahmed try to<br />
understand the anger and estrangement demonstrated by their older brother<br />
Abdullah. With the guidance of their grandmother, Bibi Jan, they learn how they<br />
might help him get over the loss of his Uncle Yunus, with whom he was very<br />
close.<br />
“The Wisdom of Bibi Jan” further demonstrates the grandmother’s role<br />
as comforter and adviser. Abdullah’s concern over the change in personality of a<br />
school friend due to the trauma of the war triggers Jameela’s revelation that she is<br />
having nightmares, and Bibi Jan provides her with a special cure for her fears.<br />
Much more of what is troubling Jameela is presented in “Making<br />
Cookies”. Her fear of landmines is so strong that she is even frightened walking<br />
along a path that has been cleared, much to Abdullah’s annoyance. Bibi Jan uses<br />
the opportunity of making cookies to help Jameela come to terms with her<br />
father’s injury, as well finding for Fatima a positive means of expression of grief<br />
for Yunus.<br />
Jameela is finding very difficult to fathom the mysteries that are locked up<br />
inside “Merza’s Heart”. She mourns the loss of the cheerful man she knew<br />
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efore his injury, the one who was full of stories. Her innocent questions brings<br />
him to tears, but they also remind him of the man he used to be, and create the<br />
yearning in him to be that way again.<br />
The saddness and grief of Fatima, young widow of Yunus, is felt by<br />
Jameela and Ahmed, who attempt to cheer her. Bibi Jan notices and suggests<br />
ways for the family to come together and celebrate good memories of Yunus,<br />
especially by singing Yunus’s Song.<br />
When their village is shelled through the night, the family faces the grim<br />
truth that they must abandon what is most dear to them in “Leaving Home”. Each<br />
of them deals with this traumatic thought in his or her own way, but ultimately<br />
they know it is for the best and put on a brave front as they face the future.<br />
In “A New Friend”, the family is staying with an old friend of Merza’s<br />
while they are on their journey to the safety of his brother’s place in the city.<br />
While there, Abdullah learns a valuable lesson about the nature of making<br />
judgments about people who are different in either the language that they speak or<br />
their beliefs.<br />
As the family continues its journey to the city, Abdullah discovers that<br />
Jameela has brought her kitten from home and has kept it hidden the entire<br />
journey. In anger, he takes the kitten from her and threw it in the undergrowth of<br />
some bushes of to the side of the road. Jameela is angry with her brother and<br />
refuses to acknowledge his existence. It is up to Bibi Jan to find a way for there to<br />
be “Reconciliation”.<br />
In “Merza’s Anger”, Merza’s loss of control over his temper has given<br />
cause for fear to both Jameela and Ahmed. The emotional upheaval wreaks havoc<br />
on both children, and causes them to be short with each other. While hiding,<br />
Ahmed overhears his father talking to Bibi Jan about his own insecurity regarding<br />
the loss of his leg. When the child is discovered, it becomes an opportunity for<br />
bridges to be mended between father and son.<br />
Bibi Jan’s diplomatic skills are once again put to the test in “Making<br />
Peace”. While looking for Merza’s brother Aly and his wife Aisha in the city, the<br />
family is staying at a camp for displaced persons located in an old schoolhouse.<br />
While in the cramped quarters where they must make their temporary home,<br />
Abdullah gets into a fight with a boy his own age over the intrusion of his bicycle<br />
in the others’ living space.<br />
As “Abdullah and the Ten-foot Soldier” opens, Abdullah, now living with<br />
his family at his uncle’s house for a week, comes down with a fever. He recalls<br />
his childhood dreams about wanting to grow up to be a soldier before he falls<br />
asleep. He dreams about meeting a giant soldier in the market who teaches him a<br />
lesson about the reality of war.<br />
In “A New Life”, Jameela expresses her joy at being able to meet Aly and<br />
Aisha as helping to offset being away from her home. However, when Haleema<br />
tells her that she will soon have a baby sister or brother, Jameela’s anxiety over<br />
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the instability of their lives takes over. Her mother helps her to understand why<br />
this is a blessing for them all.<br />
The relationship between the two women is the main theme in “Haleema<br />
and Fatima”. The family is journeying back to their village, accompanied by Aly<br />
and Aisha, who will stay with them for a visit there. Suddenly, Haleema’s baby is<br />
born, with Fatima’s help, using her new skills as a midwife. Though there were<br />
difficulties, Fatima is able to safeguard their health. This prompts Haleema to<br />
reconcile with her sister-in-law.<br />
The healing process and renewal of the bonds that exist within the family<br />
are very evident in “The End of the Journey”. It opens with a dream that Bibi<br />
Jan has, which indicates the level of anxiety she has for the return trip and the<br />
condition of their home when they arrive. When they do, they find that the<br />
damages are minimal, and they begin the process of rediscovering what is truly<br />
important during the first meal they share together.<br />
“Building the Future” presents the family coming together as a unit and<br />
working to restore their home. They can now turn their concerns to the<br />
community at large. After Abdullah encounters a few of his friends in the village,<br />
he comes up with the idea of rebuilding homes that have been damaged in the<br />
war. Along with the others, Abdullah begins a campaign of community<br />
restoration which also solidifies the next step in his personal growth and heightens<br />
the admiration of his younger siblings. The final image of the story is that of a<br />
community working and singing together.<br />
Therapeutic Elements:<br />
Healing images and symbols: rebuilding, laughter, joy<br />
Modeling of peaceful and virtuous interactions: generosity, sharing, giving,<br />
service to others, cooperation, humour, recognition of virtuous behaviour<br />
Problem Issues: Coping with destruction<br />
Healing Strategies: Cooperative work, singing<br />
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Building the Future<br />
After a year in exile from their home, everyone -- grandparents, parents, aunts,<br />
uncle and children -- worked hard to resettle and restore the household. So much had<br />
happened since they fled the fighting which swept through their village that it seemed<br />
much longer than only a year ago. The children, Abdullah, Jameela and Ahmed were<br />
very glad to be back. Their house was damaged very little, but not every family had been<br />
so fortunate.<br />
"My friend Shazia has to stay with neighbours," said Jameela. "Her house is a<br />
wreck. She has hardly any clothes. Mama, can I give her one of my dresses?"<br />
"Darling, you haven't many clothes yourself. But if you want to give her<br />
something, you can."<br />
Abdullah came in. "I've walked around the village. Three houses are completely<br />
demolished, and another five are badly damaged. Then a lot more have some parts<br />
damaged. We were pretty lucky. I don't know what those other families will do. Some of<br />
them are back now, like us."<br />
"Maybe a magic giant will come along," said little Ahmed. "He'll take some clay<br />
and make bricks as quick as a flash, and build them into beautiful houses. He'll stick his<br />
big finger down to make a chimney hole..."<br />
By now, everyone was laughing at Ahmed, who was pretending to be a giant,<br />
clomping around with heavy footsteps.<br />
Abdullah went out again to look at the ruined houses. In some, one or two men<br />
were slowly dismantling the remnants of the walls. He met two of his friends from<br />
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school. They talked about what had happened to them in the year since the village was<br />
shelled. As they chatted, they watched the men in their sad demolition task.<br />
"No school yet, " said Massoud. "The building was pretty badly shelled."<br />
at."<br />
"What'll we do?" said Ajmal. "I suppose our families will find lots for us to work<br />
"I'll be working in Mines Awareness education,” said Abdullah, trying to conceal<br />
his pride in his new job. "They’re starting an office in this area next month. I did some<br />
training in the city."<br />
"Wow!" said Ajmal. "Lucky you!"<br />
"Hey, guys!" Abdullah looked excited. "What if we form a team to help people fix<br />
their houses? We can do that work. My Dad has shown me how to mix the mud and lay<br />
the bricks."<br />
Massoud.<br />
"Great idea, Abdullah. I know some other guys who might join us in this," said<br />
When they met next day there were seven teenage boys who wanted to join the<br />
rebuilding team.<br />
They went together to the worst -hit house and offered their services. The<br />
unhappy-looking man working in the wreckage looked stunned at first, then smiled and<br />
assigned them tasks. The boys worked very hard. They sang school songs as they<br />
worked. Passing villagers stopped to look. They made a big difference in a short time to<br />
the task of restoring the house.<br />
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By the time Abdullah arrived home to eat, the family had already heard about the<br />
team of teenage rebuilders. They had also heard that it was Abdullah's idea to start it.<br />
Haleema approached him as he stood in the doorway. She embraced him and then<br />
stepped back to admire how much he had grown.<br />
"Abdullah, my son, my wild one," Haleema put her hands on his tall shoulders.<br />
"I've worried and prayed so much about you. Now I know Allah is answering my prayers.<br />
I'm so proud of what you're doing."<br />
Ahmed looked up from his meal and stared up at the immensity of his brother. "I<br />
think he really is the magic giant," he said, and the others laughed.<br />
Kaka Ghullam said, "The shura is organizing the reconstruction. They'll tell you<br />
which places need help the most. Maybe they can get the word out to form more teams."<br />
“I’m glad you are my brother,” Jameela called.<br />
“I am, too,” Abdullah responded. “I look forward to the day when I can go back<br />
to teaching you.” Jameela smiled at the thought of doing more reading and writing again.<br />
The next day, the boys worked hard. At lunchtime, Jameela and Ahmed helped<br />
Aisha and Fatima bring them all food and drink. The boys began singing together again.<br />
They changed the words of one of their school songs.<br />
"War is fire burning all in its path.<br />
We are burned but our limbs are healing.<br />
Now we must rebuild our homes,<br />
Now is the time to reconcile with our brothers and sisters,<br />
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Now we shall untie the knots<br />
And sing and dance with each other, free of hatred."<br />
Jameela, Ahmed, Fatima and Aisha quickly learned the new words and raised<br />
their voices with the others.<br />
There were only eleven young people but it was amazing how far their voices<br />
could be heard.<br />
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