One of Our Conquerors - World eBook Library

One of Our Conquerors - World eBook Library One of Our Conquerors - World eBook Library

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One of Our Conquerors of her friends belonged to that hostile world. Only Victor, no other, stood with her against the world. Her child, yes; the love of her child she had; but the child’s destiny was an alien phantom, looking at her with harder eyes than she had vision of in her family. She did not say she was blameless, did not affect the thought. She would have wished to say, for small encouragement she would have said, that her case could be pleaded. Colney’s features were not inviting, though the expression was not repellent. She sighed deeply; and to count on something helpful by mentioning it, reverted to the ‘prospect’ which there appeared to be. ‘Victor speaks of the certainty of his release.’ His release! Her language pricked a satirist’s gallbladder. Colney refrained from speaking to wound, and enjoyed a silence that did it. ‘Do you see any possibility?—you knew her,’ she said coldly. ‘Counting the number of times he has been expecting the release, he is bound to believe it near at hand.’ ‘You don’t?’ she asked: her bosom was up in a crisis of expectation for the answer: and on a pause of half-a-minute, she could have uttered the answer herself. He perceived the insane eagerness through her mask, and despised it, pitying the woman. ‘And you don’t,’ he said. ‘You catch at delusions, to excuse the steps you consent to take. Or you want me to wear the blinkers, the better to hoodwink your own eyes. You see it as well as I: If you enter that house, you have to go through the same as at Creckholt:— and he’ll be the first to take fright.’ ‘He finds you in tears: he is immensely devoted; he flings up all to protect “his Nataly.”’ ‘No: you are unjust to him. He would fling up all:’— ‘But his Nataly prefers to be dragged through fire? As you please!’ She bowed to her chastisement. One motive in her consultation with him came of the knowledge of his capacity to inflict it and his honesty in the act, and a thirst she had to hear the truth loud-tongued from him; together with a feeling that he was excessive and satiric, not to be read by the letter of his words: and in consequence, she could bear the lash from him, and tell her soul that he overdid it, and have an unjustly-treated self to cherish.—But in very truth she 94

George Meredith was a woman who loved to hear the truth; she was formed to love the truth her position reduced her to violate; she esteemed the hearing it as medical to her; she selected for counsellor him who would apply it: so far she went on the straight way; and the desire for a sustaining deception from the mouth of a trustworthy man set her hanging on his utterances with an anxious hope of the reverse of what was to come and what she herself apprehended, such as checked her pulses and iced her feet and fingers. The reason being, not that she was craven or absurd or paradoxical, but that, living at an intenser strain upon her nature than she or any around her knew, her strength snapped, she broke down by chance there where Colney was rendered spiteful in beholding the display of her inconsequent if not puling sex. She might have sought his counsel on another subject, if a paralyzing chill of her frame in the foreview of it had allowed her to speak: she felt grave alarms in one direction, where Nesta stood in the eye of her father; besides an unformed dread that the simplicity in generosity of Victor’s nature was doomed to show signs of dross ultimately, under the necessity he imposed upon himself to run out his forecasts, and scheme, and defensively compel the world to serve his ends, for the protection of those dear to him. At night he was particularly urgent with her for the harmonious duet in praise of Lakelands; and plied her with questions all round and about it, to bring out the dulcet accord. He dwelt on his choice of costly marbles, his fireplace and mantelpiece designs, the great hall, and suggestions for imposing and beautiful furniture; concordantly enough, for the large, the lofty and rich of colour won her enthusiasm; but overwhelmingly to any mood of resistance; and strangely in a man who had of late been adopting, as if his own, a modern tone, or the social and literary hints of it, relating to the right uses of wealth, and the duty as well as the delight of living simply. ‘Fredi was pleased.’ ‘Yes, she was, dear.’ ‘She is our girl, my love. “I could live and die here!” Live, she may. There’s room enough.’ Nataly saw the door of a covert communication pointed at in that remark. She gathered herself for an effort to do battle. ‘She’s quite a child, Victor.’ 95

George Meredith<br />

was a woman who loved to hear the truth; she was formed to<br />

love the truth her position reduced her to violate; she esteemed<br />

the hearing it as medical to her; she selected for counsellor<br />

him who would apply it: so far she went on the straight<br />

way; and the desire for a sustaining deception from the mouth<br />

<strong>of</strong> a trustworthy man set her hanging on his utterances with<br />

an anxious hope <strong>of</strong> the reverse <strong>of</strong> what was to come and<br />

what she herself apprehended, such as checked her pulses<br />

and iced her feet and fingers. The reason being, not that she<br />

was craven or absurd or paradoxical, but that, living at an<br />

intenser strain upon her nature than she or any around her<br />

knew, her strength snapped, she broke down by chance there<br />

where Colney was rendered spiteful in beholding the display<br />

<strong>of</strong> her inconsequent if not puling sex.<br />

She might have sought his counsel on another subject, if a<br />

paralyzing chill <strong>of</strong> her frame in the foreview <strong>of</strong> it had allowed<br />

her to speak: she felt grave alarms in one direction,<br />

where Nesta stood in the eye <strong>of</strong> her father; besides an unformed<br />

dread that the simplicity in generosity <strong>of</strong> Victor’s<br />

nature was doomed to show signs <strong>of</strong> dross ultimately, under<br />

the necessity he imposed upon himself to run out his forecasts,<br />

and scheme, and defensively compel the world to serve<br />

his ends, for the protection <strong>of</strong> those dear to him.<br />

At night he was particularly urgent with her for the harmonious<br />

duet in praise <strong>of</strong> Lakelands; and plied her with questions<br />

all round and about it, to bring out the dulcet accord.<br />

He dwelt on his choice <strong>of</strong> costly marbles, his fireplace and<br />

mantelpiece designs, the great hall, and suggestions for imposing<br />

and beautiful furniture; concordantly enough, for the<br />

large, the l<strong>of</strong>ty and rich <strong>of</strong> colour won her enthusiasm; but<br />

overwhelmingly to any mood <strong>of</strong> resistance; and strangely in<br />

a man who had <strong>of</strong> late been adopting, as if his own, a modern<br />

tone, or the social and literary hints <strong>of</strong> it, relating to the<br />

right uses <strong>of</strong> wealth, and the duty as well as the delight <strong>of</strong><br />

living simply.<br />

‘Fredi was pleased.’<br />

‘Yes, she was, dear.’<br />

‘She is our girl, my love. “I could live and die here!” Live,<br />

she may. There’s room enough.’<br />

Nataly saw the door <strong>of</strong> a covert communication pointed at<br />

in that remark. She gathered herself for an effort to do battle.<br />

‘She’s quite a child, Victor.’<br />

95

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