One of Our Conquerors - World eBook Library

George Meredith
Could it be a loss, that had led to the winning of his Nataly?
Can we really loathe the first of the steps when the one in due
sequence, cousin to it, is a blessedness? If we have been righted
to health by a medical draught, we are bound to be respectful
to our drug. And so we are, in spite of Nature’s wry face and
shiver at a mention of what we went through during those
days, those horrible days: —hide them!
The smothering of them from sight set them sounding he
had to listen. Colney Durance accused him of entering into
bonds with somebody’s grandmother for the simple sake of
browsing on her thousands: a picture of himself too abhorrent
to Victor to permit of any sort of acceptance. Consequently
he struck away to the other extreme of those who
have a choice in mixed motives: he protested that compassion
had been the cause of it. Looking at the circumstance
now, he could see, allowing for human frailty-perhaps a wish
to join the ranks of the wealthy compassion for the woman
as the principal motive. How often had she not in those old
days praised his generosity for allying his golden youth to
her withered age—Mrs. Burman’s very words! And she was a
generous woman or had been: she was generous in saying
that. Well, and she was generous in having a well-born, wellbred
beautiful young creature like Nataly for her companion,
when it was a case of need for the dear girl; and compassionately
insisting, against remonstrances: they were spoken
by him, though they were but partial. How, then, had she
become—at least, how was it that she could continue to behave
as the vindictive Fury who persecuted remorselessly,
would give no peace, poisoned the wells round every place
where he and his dear one pitched their tent!
But at last she had come to charity, as he could well believe.
Not too late! Victor’s feeling of gratitude to Mrs. Burman
assured him it was genuine because of his genuine conviction,
that she had determined to end her incomprehensibly
lengthened days in reconcilement with him: and he had
always been ready to ‘forget and forgive.’ A truly beautiful
old phrase! It thrilled off the most susceptible of men.
His well-kept secret of the spacious country-house danced
him behind a sober demeanour from one park to another;
and along beside the drive to view of his townhouse—
unbeloved of the inhabitants, although by acknowledgement
it had, as Fredi funnily drawled, to express her sense of jus-
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