One of Our Conquerors - World eBook Library

One of Our Conquerors
ready to jump out of skin, out of life, in desperation at the
sound.
She was all impulse; a shifty piece of unmercenary stratagem
occasionally directing it. Arrived at her lodgings, she
wrote to Nesta: ‘I entreat you not to notice me, if you pass
me on the road again. Let me drop, never mind how low I
go. I was born to be wretched. A line from you, just a line
now and then, only to show me I am not forgotten. I have
had a beautiful dream. I am not bad in reality; I love goodness,
I know. I cling to the thought of you, as my rescue, I
declare. Please, let me hear: if it’s not more than “good day”
and your initials on a post-card.’
The letter brought Nesta in person to her.
CHAPTER XXX
THE BURDEN UPON NESTA
COULD THERE BE confidences on the subject of Mrs. Marsett
with Captain Dartrey?—Nesta timidly questioned her heart:
she knocked at an iron door shut upon a thing alive. The
very asking froze her, almost to stopping her throbs of pity
for the woman. With Captain Dartrey, if with any one; but
with no one. Not with her mother even. Toward her mother,
she felt guilty of knowing. Her mother had a horror of that
curtain. Nesta had seen it, and had taken her impressions;
she, too, shrank from it; the more when impelled to draw
near it. Louise de Seilles would have been another self; Louise
was away; when to return, the dear friend could not state.
Speaking in her ear, would have been possible; the theme
precluded writing.
It was ponderous combustible new knowledge of life for a
girl to hold unaided. In the presence of the simple silvery
ladies Dorothea and Virginia, she had qualms, as if she were
breaking out in spots before them. The ladies fancied, that
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