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One of Our Conquerors - World eBook Library

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George Meredith<br />

sembling the most intelligent <strong>of</strong> animals, which we do not<br />

name, and we reprove ourselves for seeing likeness.<br />

Yet the likeness or apparent likeness would suggest that we<br />

have not so much to fear upon the day <strong>of</strong> the explanation to<br />

him. Some gain is there. Shameful thought! Nataly hastened<br />

her mind to gather many instances or indications testifying<br />

to the sterling substance in young Mr. Sowerby, such as a<br />

mother would pray for her son-in-law to possess. She discovered<br />

herself feeling as the burdened mother, not providently<br />

for her girl, in the choice <strong>of</strong> a mate. The perception<br />

was clear, and not the less did she continue working at the<br />

embroidery <strong>of</strong> Mr. Sowerby on the basis <strong>of</strong> his excellent moral<br />

foundations, all the while hoping, praying, that he might<br />

not be lured on to the proposal for Nesta. But her subservience<br />

to the power <strong>of</strong> the persuasive will in Victor—which<br />

was like the rush <strong>of</strong> a conflagration—compelled her to think<br />

realizingly <strong>of</strong> any scheme he allowed her darkly to read.<br />

Opposition to him, was comparable to the stand <strong>of</strong> blocks<br />

<strong>of</strong> timber before flame. Colney Durance had done her the<br />

mischief we take from the pessimist when we are<br />

overweighted: in darkening the vision <strong>of</strong> external aid from<br />

man or circumstance to one who felt herself mastered. Victor<br />

could make her treacherous to her wishes, in revolt against<br />

them, though the heart protested. His first conquest <strong>of</strong> her<br />

was in her blood, to weaken a spirit <strong>of</strong> resistance. For the<br />

precedent <strong>of</strong> submission is a charm upon the faint-hearted<br />

through love: it unwinds, unwills them. Nataly resolved fixedly,<br />

that there must be a day for speaking; and she had her<br />

moral sustainment in the resolve; she had also a tormenting<br />

consciousness <strong>of</strong> material support in the thought, that the<br />

day was not present, was possibly distant, might never arrive.<br />

Would Victor’s release come sooner? And that was a<br />

prospect bearing resemblance to hopes <strong>of</strong> the cure <strong>of</strong> a malady<br />

through a sharp operation.<br />

These were matters going on behind the curtain; as wholly<br />

vital to her, and with him at times almost as dominant, as<br />

the spiritual in memory, when flesh has left but its shining<br />

track in dust <strong>of</strong> a soul outwritten; and all their talk related to<br />

the purchase <strong>of</strong> furniture, the expeditions to Lakelands,<br />

music, public affairs, the pardonable foibles <strong>of</strong> friends created<br />

to amuse their fellows, operatic heroes and heroines,<br />

exhibitions <strong>of</strong> pictures, the sorrows <strong>of</strong> Crowned Heads, so<br />

103

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