Stony Brook University - SUNY Digital Repository

Stony Brook University - SUNY Digital Repository Stony Brook University - SUNY Digital Repository

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of Current-Traditional Rhetoric in America during the nineteenth century, with those pressures from religion, science, and politics bearing down upon American schools and the instructors teaching within them, again, truly a simple “coincidence”? 78

III. Before I continue any further, a confession has to be made … I love Certainty. I love all that it entails and all that it represents. I love order. I love control. I love stability. I cannot say, though, that I love authority. This basic inclination towards Certainty, this tendency of thinking and doing, translates itself in some very particular, and admittedly peculiar, ways. These habits of mine have indeed helped me in many ways, in particular with success in school, but despite this, they, and that fundamental inclination towards Certainty from which they arose, were limiting, like a collar or a yoke, and I had begun to feel their weight upon me. I began to feel as if I was passing through life like “J. Alfred Prufrock” from T. S. Eliot’s “Love Song …”, spending too much of my time “measur[ing] out my life with coffee spoons” and too little of it “wonder[ing], ‘Do I dare?’ […] Do I dare/Disturb the universe?” And why? Because, very simply, as Eliot wrote in 1917, “[I]n short, I was afraid.” Throughout most of my life, I had been afraid of the unfortunate vagaries and vicissitudes of life – what seemed to me like the fundamental Uncertainty of the universe – and my attempts to surround myself with Certainty, 79

of Current-Traditional Rhetoric in America during the nineteenth<br />

century, with those pressures from religion, science, and<br />

politics bearing down upon American schools and the instructors<br />

teaching within them, again, truly a simple “coincidence”?<br />

78

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