Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge
Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge
Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge
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Dreaming with Angela<br />
Amber Norwood<br />
She would sing softly to you when she put you to bed. Any song from any<br />
period involving the words "sleep" or "dream" became a lullaby. Now<br />
you know "The Music Man" by heart. Your mother's soft, warm voice<br />
was your introduction to music, and your first love.<br />
You have no children of your own. This is not by accident, or some<br />
horrible twist of chance. Families, as near as you can tell, are more trouble than<br />
they're worth. You'd rather spare everyone the trauma. But, as a result, you<br />
have no child of your own to sing to in the dark rooms. The dogs are not<br />
responsive. The stories about plants growing well to song are lies.<br />
So it is a mixed blessing when your brother 's girlfriend has a daughter.<br />
Julianne is too young to do it, and both families are appalled. Your parents<br />
weren't having any part of it. So you invite Michael, Julianne, and the baby into<br />
your guestroom. This is supposed to be a temporary arrangement. Four years<br />
later, however, small Angela and her moderately employed parents are still<br />
there. Your rational sensibilities want to make them leave. You never got any<br />
free rides. Is this what responsibility means? But at the end of each day, you<br />
look forward to time alone with Angela. Her mother, still not your sister-in-law,<br />
waits tables at night. Michael is exhausted after a full day caring for his daugh<br />
ter. He spends weeknights passed out with a beer.<br />
So this cannot last. But these are also the kinds of years that you'll<br />
never have again. You love the girl like she was your own. And that is enough.<br />
Though this cuts into your social life, you have someone to sing to sleep.<br />
By age four, she is old enough to request songs from your repertoire.<br />
She wants to start with the one about the butterflies. She wanted to finish with<br />
"Dream A Little Dream." The first time she hums along in her<br />
half-sleep, it almost breaks your heart. And you don't<br />
know why. She is a very demanding little girl. Too much<br />
time with Daddy without any discipline. She needs<br />
attention. At the same time, she is terribly precocious.<br />
Michael, to his limited credit, never speaks to her like she<br />
is a child. Consequently, she is like an adult, speaking from<br />
a child's body.<br />
Sometimes she wants you at the foot of the bed. Other times she<br />
wants you close. You lie beside her; she hums along to songs you'd sing into<br />
strawberry hair. Sometimes she crashes before you hit the second chorus.<br />
Other times she lays awake and calls you back for hours before falling asleep.<br />
She tells you stories.<br />
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