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Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge

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"You were afraid. Do you remember what I told you?"<br />

I frown and shake my head.<br />

"No?" His eyes become round. "I told you. I told you, 'Do not worry.<br />

It is only the dead playing in heaven's field.' Remember?" He smiles. '"The<br />

land south of the clouds is heaven's playing field."'<br />

I erase the frown from my face and say, "Yes. Now I remember."<br />

"And you would stare up into the trees and try to see them in the sky.<br />

You would always ask, 'Where? I don't see them. Where are they?' And I told<br />

you, you could not see them, but you could hear them. You fell back asleep try­<br />

ing to see them."<br />

Another rumbling comes. This time it is closer. I stare up and I can<br />

barely see a part of the blue sky through the trees' leaves and thick branches,<br />

branches so huge they hold up the sky.<br />

"Stir. Keep stirring," Mother commands me.<br />

*<br />

The stove is too high and I'm standing on a stool in order to look<br />

inside the pot to see what it is I'm stirring. The broth, thick and dark, parts<br />

from the ladle I grip with two hands.<br />

Mother is in the living room, surrounded by Ba Nguyen's mistresses<br />

all standing still as flowers atop foot stools. Tape measure dangling from her<br />

shoulders, a red pencil tucked behind one ear, she moves from one to the other,<br />

inserting pins in frayed hems, measuring arm lengths, cutting patterns from dif­<br />

ferent fabrics, fitting sleeves, tucking cuffs to expose their thin white wrists,<br />

measuring seams, drawing lines down the length of the gowns, cutting away<br />

excess material, darning buttons, stitching clasps and hooks, and all this she<br />

manages to do without tripping over the floor strewn with unfurled rolls of<br />

satin, silk, and cotton, tomato-shaped pin cushions, and spools of thread.<br />

"Stir," Mother says again. "Just stir."<br />

I keep stirring. My arms tire from the thickening broth. In one rota­<br />

tion of the ladle, a fish tail surfaces and sinks, the severed head comes up, the<br />

puckered lips swallow broth and disappear, and plucked eyeballs stare up at<br />

me.<br />

*<br />

Evening, and everyone is gathered at the dinner table: Ba Nguyen,<br />

Mother, myself, and five mistresses. Ly Van and Thanh as well as the others are<br />

dressed in their newly made ao dais, their tunics buttoned. With chopsticks in<br />

56

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