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Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge

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��o Would you like to join uth?"<br />

"Who the hell?" I say, and am surprised at<br />

.�0;<br />

; the quiver in my voice. I sound afraid.<br />

§ And my phony mother cuts me with her eyes and puts a fin-<br />

Q)<br />

E ger to her suddenly pursed lips in a shh gesture. And I realize what<br />

0<br />

-; I've always known: That she likes Charity best because she failed<br />

� her most.<br />

()<br />

Q)<br />

-�<br />

And Bucky Tooth says, "Where are my mannerth? My name<br />

v' ith Tucker."<br />

b'<br />

So I say, "Mother Tucker." And my mom snaps and throws<br />

.,I<br />

Oci,,e � one of my sister's old, flattened square slippers at me and I laugh loud<br />

R<br />

to cover a new feeling creeping in that I can't name, and my mother, surely<br />

picking up on the tension I've brought, screams that Tucker is our cock sucking<br />

guardian angel and what kind of a degenerate am I anyway? At least that's<br />

what I hear.<br />

And I put my finger to my pursed lips and try to make her feel stupid,<br />

to go along with how she sounds and looks. And I say, "Mother, it's good to<br />

have you awake."<br />

Charity groans and narrows her eyes at me. She thinks I'm ruining<br />

everything. I meet her eyes and mimic her groan and tell her that everything's<br />

already been ruined.<br />

desperate.<br />

"Perhapth we're off to a bad thtart, Benjamin," Tucker says cheerful but<br />

"The name's Benny. Not Benjamin. Tucker, I don't know if mom has<br />

gotten to this part yet but I was named for her favorite drug. The benny." An<br />

outrageous lie, but I say it thoughtfully so it doesn't sound like one. 'Tm not<br />

sure why you're here," I continue, loudly, pouncing on every syllable with just<br />

the right amount of affect. "But, I assure you. You've got your work cut out for<br />

you." I lean against the frame of my sister's doorway; I cross my arms snug<br />

against my chest for punctuation and imagine I look imposing.<br />

"Benny, please. For me. Won't you, please," my sister says. "He's a<br />

gift. A gift from God. A real live manifestation of my prayers," she<br />

wheezes. She inhales as deeply as her body will allow and then really gets YJ<br />

.5l!<br />

going. "An angel sent from heaven! He's here to help with my, my re- -g<br />

cov-e-ree!" Chirp d1jrp. Cough cough.<br />

.:::;: �<br />

"Charity, Charity, pleath. You've got yourthelf in a dither,"<br />

�<br />

Tucker drones. He waves his hand across his torso stopping to stroke �<br />

()<br />

the message on hi chest. His index finger lingers on the glittery ��

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