Negro Digest - Freedom Archives
Negro Digest - Freedom Archives
Negro Digest - Freedom Archives
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°prisoner begging to be freed, and<br />
then disappeared .<br />
No one had slipped me any acid .<br />
I knew nothing about mysticism.<br />
I'd been an atheist since I was 12 .<br />
So there were limited ways for me<br />
to interpret all this . First, I asked<br />
myself, do other people perceive<br />
the way I perceive now, or do they<br />
perceive the way I used to perceive?<br />
I watched them for a while,<br />
and concluded that they only perceive<br />
the lying masks, but they do<br />
not know that they are lying . The<br />
masks were the limits of their consciousness<br />
. And their only way of<br />
knowing what goes on in the world<br />
is what the masks tell each other .<br />
No one else whom I could observe<br />
was perceiving like me . The lying<br />
masks were interacting with each<br />
other and arriving at a consensus<br />
which they accepted as reality . And<br />
people were acting on the basis of<br />
this consensus . My impression was<br />
that very little of what existed in<br />
the real world got past the masks.<br />
I concluded that either I was<br />
crazy, and they were all sane, or I<br />
was sane and they were all crazy.<br />
I had no way of knowing for sure .<br />
So I decided to test it out . While<br />
being very careful not to say or do<br />
anything that would get me locked<br />
up, I would operate on the basis of<br />
'the reality which I perceived, and<br />
observe others operating upon the<br />
basis ofthe reality which they perceived,<br />
and see whose reality was<br />
more reliable .<br />
I found myself back in New<br />
York in 1964, among familiar<br />
60<br />
places and people, really perceiving<br />
them all for the first time . I couldn't<br />
play their games anymore . I longed<br />
desperately to escape from the circles<br />
I had always moved in and to<br />
try out my new perceptions on the<br />
world out there .<br />
I went to the college for the interview.<br />
The president explained<br />
to me that they had only been hiring<br />
white teachers for a year . The<br />
Board was afraid that any white<br />
teacher who would come there<br />
would be a communist . They hired<br />
Chinese, and East Indians . But,<br />
alas, they couldn't get enough<br />
teachers of any race, and finally the<br />
Board permitted him to hire a few<br />
whites.<br />
He asked me, "Is there anything<br />
you have to tell me? I might as well<br />
know it now."<br />
"Yes, there is . My kids are<br />
black."<br />
"Are they adopted?"<br />
"No, they're my natural children<br />
."<br />
"I have some relatives who look<br />
as white as you do ."<br />
"I have often been taken for a<br />
creole . I'm from New Orleans . I<br />
speak French."<br />
"Whatever I say around here<br />
reaches all ears . I could say, `Have<br />
you met our new creole history<br />
teacher from New Orleans?' "<br />
"That's fine with me ."<br />
"When you get your drivers' license,<br />
be sure they get the race<br />
right."<br />
All the teachers, except one, believed<br />
it . Some of them even began<br />
Morch 1969 NEGRO DIGEST