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154 Creating Circles & Ceremonies Separation from the Mother In some tribal societies, this was accomplished by a nighttime “kidnapping,” in which several men of the boy’s family would sneak into his abode at night, bundle him up roughly in his bedding, and carry him off. This would all be conducted in silence on the part of the men, but if the boy cried out, the mother (who of course would be in on the whole thing) would come out wailing something scripted like, “My baby! My baby! Don’t take my baby!” Isolation and Disorientation Following the “capture,” the boy is typically isolated from human contact for a time, while remaining deprived of his normal senses. Sometimes a boy would be placed in a dark room, blindfolded, and just left there for awhile, while some tribes would place the boy in a small hole or cave for a period of time, covered over and in total darkness. Some modern magickal groups will use a coffin for this purpose. The idea is to create a sense of both fear and disorientation—and a symbolic brush with death. Vision Quest If time and circumstances permit, many tribal societies send a boy out on a vision quest or “walkabout” during this phase. He is taken to some isolated spot, given a few basic tools, such as a knife and fire-making tools, instructed to avoid human contact, and left alone for a period of time (which may be as short as a few days or as long as a full lunation). He may be expected to fast entirely, or to eat only what he can find in the wild. His assigned mission on this quest is to make contact with his inner spirit, totems, and allies. The Ordeal There is often also a challenge and a “life-or-death” ordeal of some kind, requiring the candidate to undertake a “leap of faith.” The ordeal typically entails something that is really scary to the boy, but is carefully structured by the men so that it presents no real physical danger. Such “leap of faith” ordeals might entail bungee jumping or leaping off a tall cliff blindfolded. Of course, if a person is blindfolded, he has no way of knowing whether the cliff he is jumping from is 30 feet high or only three feet. A “leap of faith” can be just as effective from a small height as a great one, provided it is done convincingly and involves a long climb upwards and voices coming from far below. Other and perhaps less dramatic types of ordeals may, of course, be equally effective. Emrys had to drum all night, without stopping or losing the beat, for a Walpurgisnacht ritual. Joining the Company of Men After successfully passing his ordeal, the candidate is then welcomed into the men’s circle. This might include a sweat lodge ritual or other formal men’s ceremony. It might happen as a part of a “Wild Men Weekend,” or a fire dance. For my son Zack, we held a sweat and then brought him into a campfire circle where all the men were masked. We each told stories of how we first became men—our own various “rites of passage.” For most of us, it was our first sexual experience that was the threshold. This is a time when the young man might be given a new name—a “man name” to replace his “boy name.” In some tribes, if he’s old enough, the new initiate might at this time even be sent off to a private hut where an experienced and willing young woman waited to give him a sexual initiation. He might be blindfolded for this experience, or she might be masked. Or the hut might just be totally dark, replete with with furs and cushions. The Return In the morning the young man is returned to his mother. He is proudly introduced to her by his new name, and she is told that “We took from you a boy, and we return to you a man.”
Book II: Rites & Rituals 155 176. Boy’s Rite of Passage Blessing You have grown but there is more growing to do. You have planted seeds of your future self That germinate at different times and under different conditions. Some seeds need love; some seeds need fertilizer (We all know what fertilizer is made of) And all that some seeds need is a kick in the ass. As long as you are on the planet (and perhaps even after) You will always have work to do. You might as well get used to it and start enjoying it. So sit back, enjoy and feel the breeze Don’t be afraid to turn on cruise control at times, Just don’t forget to keep steering, because you are in control. If by chance you get into a rut or an unfortunate happening, Don’t be afraid to ask for help from me Or any travelers who happen to come along. Then after you get out of your fix Just keep driving and let the road lead you. Make your choices when they come to you, As long as you follow your heart They will be the correct ones and then the road continues on. —Wheeler Stone Rites of First Blood by Marylyn Motherbear Scott Blood rites for girls are bloody hard! Periods in general are embarrassing to some, if not most, girls. Many primitive cultures, however, acknowledged and honored the first blood as sacred, with a profound respect for the process of becoming a woman and a vessel for bringing in life. A glimpse of this can be seen in the movie Where the Spirit Lives. For the Neo-Pagan community, these rites are relatively new, and it’s important that we don’t presume what should be done. Out of half a dozen blood rites I attended, I recall only one where the girl seemed to feel relaxed. Every effort should be made to find out what the girl will enjoy and what will make her feel comfortable. I recall one ritual of first blood in which a lovely circle of females gathered—women of all ages, including some of the girl’s peer group. Red, of course, was featured in candles, scarves, and food. As we went around the circle, everyone who cared to share a story told of their first blood, what happened, how they felt about it, how their mother treated it. Rites of passage are important and will be carried out whether or not the parents and community take part. Creating rites consciously, with sensitivity, honoring our children’s steps into the mysteries of living, is a way of telling them they are valued and loved; it helps to create an awareness of who they are for themselves and others so that a positive self-image can emerge. 177. Daughter My dear Daughter, Daughter of mine And Daughter of all Daughters before I bow to you The Goddess who you are And have always been Let me hold your hand, guide, support And behold your Rite of Passage Your Menarche You are heralded Girl and Woman You walk our ancient path walked before you Know thy Power, thy Beauty, thy Blood It is a Moon River of pleasure, fecundity, Of Goddess continuity Relish its floral fragrance, pungent sweetness In all its forms, colours, sensations Know its unguent use, And wield wisely You are with your sisters, mother, grandmothers And daughters and on You are connected, supported Yet unique and free Let your ruby essence come forth You embody the Red Goddess & Scarlet Woman Let us celebrate your Divinity I love you, embrace you, kiss you Sanguine blessings, dear Daughter. —Kitty J. Shaw, 2005
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Appendices 269 1. Polytheism. Most
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