"Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" - unam.

spend the $35 to entertain myself each time I went to Buffalo, and see if I could make the
trip worthwhile.
I didn't have much experience with the rest of the world. Not knowing how to get
started, I asked the taxi driver who picked me up at the airport to guide me through the
ins and outs of entertaining myself in Buffalo. He was very helpful, and I still remember
his name ­­ Marcuso, who drove car number 169. I would always ask for him when I
came into the airport on Thursday nights.
As I was going to give my first lecture I asked Marcuso, "Where's an interesting
bar where lots of things are going on?" I thought that things went on in bars.
"The Alibi Room," he said. "It's a lively place where you can meet lots of people.
I'll take you there after your lecture." After the lecture Marcuso picked me up and drove
me to the Alibi Room. On the way, I say, "Listen, I'm gonna have to ask for some kind of
drink. What's the name of a good whiskey?"
"Ask for Black and White, water on the side," he counseled. The Alibi Room was
an elegant place with lots of people and lots of activity. The women were dressed in furs,
everybody was friendly, and the phones were ringing all the time. I walked up to the bar
and ordered my Black and White, water on the side. The bartender was very friendly,
quickly found a beautiful woman to sit next to me, and introduced her. I bought her
drinks. I liked the place and decided to come back the following week.
Every Thursday night I'd come to Buffalo and be driven in car number 169 to my
lecture and then to the Alibi Room. I'd walk into the bar and order my Black and White,
water on the side. After a few weeks of this it got to the point where as soon as I would
come in, before I reached the bar, there would be a Black and White, water on the side,
waiting for me. "Your regular, sir," was the bartender's greeting.
I'd take the whole shot glass down at once, to show I was a tough guy, like I had
seen in the movies, and then I'd sit around for about twenty seconds before I drank the
water. After a while I didn't even need the water.
The bartender always saw to it that the empty chair next to mine was quickly
filled by a beautiful woman, and everything would start off all right, but just before the
bar closed, they all had to go off somewhere. I thought it was possibly because I was
getting pretty drunk by that time.
One time, as the Alibi Room was closing, the girl I was buying drinks for that
night suggested we go to another place where she knew a lot of people. It was on the
second floor of some other building which gave no hint that there was a bar upstairs. All
the bars in Buffalo had to close at two o'clock, and all the people in the bars would get
sucked into this big hall on the second floor, and keep right on going ­­ illegally, of
course.
I tried to figure out a way that I could stay in bars and watch what was going on
without getting drunk. One night I noticed a guy who had been there a lot go up to the bar
and order a glass of milk. Everybody knew what his problem was: he had an ulcer, the
poor fella. That gave me an idea.
The next time I come into the Alibi Room the bartender says, "The usual, sir?"
"No. Coke. Just plain Coke," I say, with a disappointed look on my face.
The other guys gather around and sympathize: "Yeah, I was on the wagon three
weeks ago," one says. "It's really tough, Dick, it's really tough," says another.
They all honored me. I was "on the wagon" now, and had the guts to enter that