Program (PDF) - FASS Theatre Company - University of Waterloo
Program (PDF) - FASS Theatre Company - University of Waterloo
Program (PDF) - FASS Theatre Company - University of Waterloo
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WARNING: SPECIAL ACCESS REQUIRED<br />
CONFIDENTIAL<br />
INFORMATION<br />
File Name:<br />
Live <strong>FASS</strong>, Die Tomorrow<br />
FACULTY ALUMNI STAFF & STUDENTS ★ THEATRE COMPANY ★<br />
Faculty Alumni Staff & Students<br />
File No.:<br />
2009<br />
WARNING: SPECIAL ACCESS REQUIRED<br />
The <strong>FASS</strong> <strong>Theatre</strong> <strong>Company</strong> proudly presents<br />
<strong>FASS</strong> 2009:<br />
LIVE <strong>FASS</strong>,<br />
DIE TOMORROW<br />
top secret<br />
February 5, 6, and 7, 2009<br />
Humanities <strong>Theatre</strong><br />
<strong>University</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Waterloo</strong><br />
Faculty Alumni Staff & Students
CLASSIFICATION: TOP SECRET BANANARAMA<br />
Message from the President<br />
To those who are new, welcome! To those who are returning, welcome<br />
back! To everyone else, this is redacted!<br />
I’m very excited about this year’s show. We’re trying some things<br />
we’ve never done before, and <strong>of</strong> course some long-standing traditions.<br />
The cast and crew and entire production team have come together<br />
to create an amazing show and we can’t wait to show you the<br />
fruits <strong>of</strong> our labour. We’ve been “Living <strong>FASS</strong>” for a month, so you<br />
can “Live <strong>FASS</strong>, Die Tomorrow.”<br />
There are hundreds <strong>of</strong> people I could thank for making this production<br />
(and the entire year <strong>of</strong> <strong>FASS</strong> events) as awesome as they are,<br />
but I only have a few words left. Every act performed at our Orientation<br />
week event, every improv game played for the kids at Canada<br />
day, every word written, prop constructed, cardboard box painted,<br />
line memorized, dance move performed, note sung, and costume donned<br />
was done with love and more lovely love. We hope you love it too!<br />
Diana Chisholm, President, <strong>FASS</strong> 2009<br />
Message from the Director<br />
Ah, another year, another <strong>FASS</strong>. This is my 8th <strong>FASS</strong> but my first<br />
as director. It has been a pleasure and an honour to be directing<br />
this year’s show. I’m very excited about the script our writers<br />
have put together, and we have an awesome cast and crew who have<br />
spent the past month putting it all together.<br />
One <strong>of</strong> the things I have always loved about this show is that every<br />
year is a new dynamic. The lines change, the actors change,<br />
the songs change, the sets change... but the spirit <strong>of</strong> the show is<br />
always the same: the enthusiasm, the commitment, the energy... and<br />
the fun! This is what keeps drawing me back year after year.<br />
Big thank yous go to our stage manager Stacey and our ASMs Amanda,<br />
Jessica and Joanna: they’ve put in a lot <strong>of</strong> work and being able to<br />
put up with me for three straight weeks is not an easy task. And<br />
as always, a big hand goes out to the cast, the band and the tech<br />
crew for all their hard work.<br />
We have a fantastic show with a fantastic cast. Enjoy! MUWHAHAHA!<br />
Brian “Latrell” Fox, Director, <strong>FASS</strong> 2009<br />
CLASSIFICATION: TOP SECRET BANANARAMA<br />
1-0: Tai Bo?<br />
Opening Song<br />
FOR YOUR EYES AND NOSE ONLY<br />
Dick -<br />
Has this “<strong>FASS</strong>”<br />
got any WMDs?<br />
- George<br />
Dr. Nefarious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Radwa Auda<br />
Eve S. Drop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Arianne Villa<br />
Y. Red . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joseph Chan<br />
Rhett Shirt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Will Russell<br />
Tex Spendable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hamish Paterson<br />
Sue Perfluous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christine Nanteza<br />
Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joanna Fawcett<br />
Henchmen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Polly Edwards and Selina Saba<br />
“Gold<strong>FASS</strong>ie”<br />
(to “Goldfinger” by Shirley Bassey)<br />
Solo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jennifer Vorano<br />
1-1: No More Cookies? Nooooooo...<br />
Bea Reaved . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Betty Li<br />
Dez Skies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lukas Matthews<br />
Jack (“James”) Hass . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick Cort<br />
Lex Dyslia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kevin Bazin<br />
Y. Red . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joseph Chan<br />
Tre Hugger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keriece Harris<br />
Yuri Nitwit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Josh Hoey<br />
1-2: No Pirates<br />
Clora Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Selina Saba<br />
Lex Dyslia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kevin Bazin<br />
Q . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alexander Huynh<br />
Tre Hugger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keriece Harris<br />
Tor Turous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Jackson-Brown<br />
U-Turn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . David Bui<br />
“I Like Spy Toys”<br />
(to “The Fresh Prince <strong>of</strong> Bel Air” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh<br />
Prince and “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot)<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alexander Huynh and David Bui<br />
FOR YOUR EYES AND NOSE ONLY
SECURITY CLEARANCE: NINJA<br />
Vignette 1: Stop cooking with cheese<br />
Cate R. Ng . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alicia Mah<br />
Mark Tini . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jackson Moores<br />
Old Crone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Judy Wubnig<br />
Ted Keela . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kevin Hong<br />
1-3: Six Faculties... Eight Representatives<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Al Gore-Ithm . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Hutten-Czapski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Artemis Snobb . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anna Kreider<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Constance Payne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Magda Karski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Kimmy C. Ology . . . . . . . . . . . Alice Pfeifer Hanov<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Moe Bius . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danielle Alessio<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor I. Ron Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Steve Hanov<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Sass Tainable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Hagen<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Tess Tube . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carrie Knoll<br />
“Part <strong>of</strong> Your Faculty”<br />
(to “Part <strong>of</strong> Your World” by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman)<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anna Kreider<br />
1-4: Big Red Buttons<br />
Bernie Burns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nick Bowler<br />
Cruella Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm<br />
Dawn Snow Underwear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny Hunter<br />
Johnny Deep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aidan Hanly<br />
Faye Lure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anne You<br />
Nic E. Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gavin Craig<br />
Noah Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Gibbs<br />
Rex Plosion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stuart MacGillivray<br />
Stu Dent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jordan Lapointe<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Leander Thall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . David Chan<br />
“Mom & Dad”<br />
(to “Bad Hourse Chorus (Reprise)” by Jed and Joss Whedon)<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm and Peter Gibbs<br />
SECURITY CLEARANCE: NINJA<br />
THIS PROGRAMME WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 10 SECONDS<br />
1-5: The Pompitous <strong>of</strong> Love<br />
Bernie Burns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nick Bowler<br />
Dr. Nefarious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Radwa Auda<br />
Dr. Terrifically Unpleasant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tallen Kay<br />
Eve S. Drop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Arianne Villa<br />
Faye Lure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anne You<br />
Ivana Screw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimberly Mitchell<br />
Nic E. Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gavin Craig<br />
Y. Red . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joseph Chan<br />
Mr. Maurice Right . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Thompson<br />
Vignette 2: Spy vs. Mac<br />
Mac . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trevor Horman<br />
Dee R. Em . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Clare Park<br />
1-6: Tango de la Humorismo<br />
Dr. Nefarious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Radwa Auda<br />
Dr. Terrifically Unpleasant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tallen Kay<br />
Dr. When . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aidan Hanly<br />
Harry Mata . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian Gashgarian<br />
Fleur Tacious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm<br />
Ivana Screw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimberly Mitchell<br />
Jay Bourne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tony Wolf<br />
Juan Card . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gilad Israeli<br />
Poppa Wheelie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jackson Moores<br />
Mr. Maurice Right . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Thompson<br />
Sal Loon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . James Hajdarpasic<br />
Sue Perfluous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christine Nanteza<br />
Tex Spendable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hamish Paterson<br />
Hostess . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anne You<br />
Tangoers . . . . Jennefer Barua, Leah Blechschmidt, Wes Campaigne,<br />
. . . . . . . Nigel Camps, David Chan, Diana Chisholm, Lisa Hagen,<br />
. . . . . Aidan Hanly, Mark Jackson-Brown, Betty Li, Jason Neudorf,<br />
. . . . . . . . . Clare Park, Dustin Windibank, and Erin Windibank<br />
THIS PROGRAMME WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 10 SECONDS
NOT RELEASABLE TO LAURIER STUDENTS<br />
1-7: If a Ninja Falls in the Forest...<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Al Gore-Ithm . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Hutten-Czapski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Kimmy C. Ology . . . . . . . . . . . Alice Pfeifer Hanov<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Moe Bius . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danielle Alessio<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor I. Ron Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Steve Hanov<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Sass Tainable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Hagen<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Tess Tube . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carrie Knoll<br />
Dez Skies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lukas Matthews<br />
Ninja . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Khary Alexander<br />
Vignette 3: Choking the Chicken<br />
François LaPita . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anne You<br />
Ivana Screw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimberly Mitchell<br />
Mr. Maurice Right . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Thompson<br />
1-8: Who Keeps Doing That?<br />
Chesty LaRue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Leah Blechschmidt<br />
Clora Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Selina Saba<br />
Cody Banks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Gibbs<br />
Dom Stockholm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick O’Flaherty Aviles<br />
Harry Mata . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian Gashgarian<br />
Jay Bourne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tony Wolf<br />
Monty Banks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mike Elg<br />
Snow Banks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Emily Schooley<br />
Trenchy McCoat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nick Bowler<br />
Tully Mark Ater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather MacDonald<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Constance Payne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Magda Karski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Sass Tainable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Hagen<br />
NOT RELEASABLE TO LAURIER STUDENTS<br />
1-9: I Love to Torture...<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Al Gore-Ithm . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Hutten-Czapski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Artemis Snobb . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anna Kreider<br />
Chesty LaRue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Leah Blechschmidt<br />
Clora Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Selina Saba<br />
Cody Banks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Gibbs<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Constance Payne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Magda Karski<br />
Dom Stockholm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick O’Flaherty Aviles<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Kimmy C. Ology . . . . . . . . . . . Alice Pfeifer Hanov<br />
Max Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Karl Zaryski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Moe Bius . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danielle Alessio<br />
Nic E. Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gavin Craig<br />
Phil Ange . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michael Chan<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor I. Ron Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Steve Hanov<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Sass Tainable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Hagen<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Tess Tube . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carrie Knoll<br />
Tor Turous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Jackson-Brown<br />
Tully Mark Ater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heather MacDonald<br />
Clown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jennefer Barua<br />
“Torture Fool”<br />
(to “Love Fool” by the Cardigans)<br />
. . . . . . Heather MacDonald, Leah Blechschmidt, and Carrie Knoll<br />
“The <strong>University</strong> is Awesome”<br />
(to “The World is Awesome” by the Discovery Channel)<br />
Intermission<br />
FOR HUMOROUS USE ONLY<br />
Vignette 4: Think <strong>of</strong> the Children<br />
Snow Banks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Emily Schooley<br />
Tor Turous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Jackson-Brown<br />
FOR HUMOROUS USE ONLY<br />
<strong>FASS</strong> = violation <strong>of</strong><br />
Geneva conventions?
2-1: HenchPersons?<br />
LICENCE TO PUN<br />
Hard Place . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Will Russell<br />
Hugh Mann . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alex Leong<br />
Lea Darre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Katherine Rojo<br />
Libby Rayton-Front . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm<br />
Chairman Meow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Jackson-Brown<br />
Miss SueHer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Meghan Feeney<br />
Rock . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Hutten-Czapski<br />
Smooth Salin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trevor Horman<br />
Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Elyot Grant<br />
Extra HenchCOM . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick Cort and Brian Ellis<br />
“Somebody to Kill?”<br />
(to “Somebody to Love” by Queen)<br />
Solo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trevor Horman<br />
Chorus . . . . . . Leeanna Caligagan, Abram Chan, Diana Chisholm,<br />
. . . . . . Gavin Craig, Aidan Hanly, Jenny Hunter, Carrie Knoll,<br />
. . Anna Kreider, Betty Li, Heather MacDonald, Stuart MacGillivray,<br />
. . . . Selina Saba, Matthew Thorne, Russell Wong, and Karl Zaryski<br />
Vignette 5: No Cigarette?<br />
Ivana Screw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimberly Mitchell<br />
Mr. Maurice Right . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Thompson<br />
2-2: Cookies and Pens<br />
Carlos Chacal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nigel Camps<br />
Chip Salin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Matthew Thorne<br />
Dez Skies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lukas Matthews<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Dick Shun . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wes Campaigne<br />
Don Jovi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Abram Chan<br />
Ninja . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Khary Alexander<br />
Parah Salin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Emily Brame<br />
Rex Plosion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stuart MacGillivray<br />
Ninjas . . . . . . . . . . . Alexander Huynh and Maryam Nasirpour<br />
Vignette 6: Spy vs. PC<br />
PC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gavin Craig<br />
Dee R. Em . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Clare Park<br />
LICENCE TO PUN<br />
TO DO: Leak to<br />
Soviet agents<br />
MISSION: IM<strong>FASS</strong>IBLE<br />
2-3: When I Close My Eyes, I’m Invisible<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Cam O’Flage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Colin Oliver<br />
Carmen San Francisco . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jennifer Vorano<br />
Dawn Snow Underwear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny Hunter<br />
Jack (“James”) Hass . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick Cort<br />
Max Power . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Karl Zaryski<br />
Mo Stafa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tom Duff<br />
Phil Ange . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michael Chan<br />
Missy Shef . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Judy Wubnig<br />
“Where on the Campus is Carmen San Francisco?”<br />
(to “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego” by Rockapella)<br />
<strong>FASS</strong>apella . . . . . . . . . . . Carrie Knoll, Christine Nanteza,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Selina Saba, and Russell Wong<br />
MISSION: IM<strong>FASS</strong>IBLE<br />
Check 6 th floor <strong>of</strong> MC
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE SOMETHING THAT IS RED<br />
2-4: The Spirit <strong>of</strong> Meh Whatever<br />
Billy Gloat-Spendable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lukas Matthews<br />
Madeline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Polly Edwards<br />
Sue Perfluous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christine Nanteza<br />
Susie Cue-Perfluous . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jennefer Barua<br />
Tex Spendable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hamish Paterson<br />
Tammy Horton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amanda TK<br />
Rex Plosion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stuart MacGillivray<br />
“Henchmanly Things”<br />
(to “My Favourite Things” by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein<br />
II)<br />
. . . Jennefer Barua, Polly Edwards, Lukas Matthews, and Amanda TK<br />
Vignette 7: Wow<br />
Vince . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jackson Moores<br />
Dr. Terrifically Unpleasant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tallen Kay<br />
Who Killed JFK? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jimmy H<strong>of</strong>fa<br />
2-5: Muhahahaha<br />
What an innovative slogan!<br />
Johnny Deep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aidan Hanly<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Manny A. Call . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rob LeGood<br />
Mo Stafa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tom Duff<br />
Nic E. Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gavin Craig<br />
Penny R. Cade . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sarah Pidcock<br />
Q . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alexander Huynh<br />
U-Turn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . David Bui<br />
Little Green Men . . . . . . . . . Polly Edwards, Keriece Harris,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Mssaro, and Bettina Xue<br />
“OSAP”<br />
(to “Bad Horse Chorus” by Jed and Joss Whedon)<br />
. . . . . . . . . . Danielle Alessio, Diana Chisholm, and Anne You<br />
(IT’S THE CURTAIN)<br />
THIS PROGRAMME WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 20 SECONDS<br />
2-6: Only a Flesh Wound<br />
Ben Dover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stuart McGillivray<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Dick Shun . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wes Campaigne<br />
Jay Bourne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tony Wolf<br />
Luke E. Mia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian Ellis<br />
Scotty McScotterson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amos Boratto<br />
Yuri Nitwit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Josh Hoey<br />
Vignette 8: I am a Henchman<br />
Guard Number 14 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenn Annis<br />
2-7: On a Stick!<br />
Hugh Mann . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Alex Leong<br />
Hard Place . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Will Russell<br />
Libby Rayton-Front . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm<br />
Chairman Meow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Jackson-Brown<br />
Miss SueHer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Meghan Feeney<br />
Rock . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Hutten-Czapski<br />
Smooth Salin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trevor Horman<br />
Guard Number 14 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenn Annis<br />
Vignette 9: DD-DA<br />
Anita Frisk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christa Brown<br />
Billy Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kevin Hong<br />
A Gentleman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Gibbs<br />
Ivana Screw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimberly Mitchell<br />
THIS PROGRAMME WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 20 SECONDS
DOUBLY-ENCRYPTED WITH ROT-13 FOR EXTRA SECURITY<br />
2-8: Everybody Loses!<br />
Annie Posy Bull . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lukas Matthews<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Cam O’Flage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Colin Oliver<br />
Dawn Snow Underwear . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenny Hunter<br />
Johnny Deep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aidan Hanly<br />
Deuce X. Machina . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Erin Windibank<br />
Ivana Screw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kimberly Mitchell<br />
Jack (“James”) Hass . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick Cort<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Kimmy C. Ology . . . . . . . . . . . Alice Pfeifer Hanov<br />
Poppa Wheelie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jackson Moores<br />
Mr. Maurice Right . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ian Thompson<br />
Tre Hugger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keriece Harris<br />
Voice from the Pit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dustin Windibank<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Al Gore-Ithm . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Hutten-Czapski<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Artemis Snobb . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anna Kreider<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Constance Payne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Magda Karski<br />
Dr. Nefarious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Radwa Auda<br />
Dr. Terrifically Unpleasant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tallen Kay<br />
Fashionistas . . . . . . . . . . . Katherine Rojo and Bettina Xue<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Moe Bius . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Danielle Alessio<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor I. Ron Ring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Steve Hanov<br />
Pr<strong>of</strong>essor Tess Tube . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carrie Knoll<br />
“The Guy For You”<br />
(to “Summer Nights” by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey)<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick Cort, Jenny Hunter, and Aidan Hanly<br />
Closing<br />
“Closing is Awesome”<br />
(to “The World is Awesome” by the Discovery Channel)<br />
“Our Last Song”<br />
(to “Hot’n’Cold” by Katy Perry)<br />
DOUBLY-ENCRYPTED WITH ROT-13 FOR EXTRA SECURITY<br />
SHRED EYEBALLS AFTER READING<br />
Creative Staff<br />
Director. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian “Latrell” Fox<br />
Music Director . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Russell Wong<br />
Stage Manager . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stacey Saunders<br />
Assistant Stage Managers . . . . Joanna Fawcett, Jessica Koteles,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and Amanda Kraft<br />
Choreographer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bettina Xue<br />
Stage Fighting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Will Russell<br />
Technical Director . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maryam Nasirpour<br />
Writers<br />
Chief Script Writer . . . . . . . . . . . Stephen Snuggles Skrzydlo<br />
Writers . . . . . . Khary Alexander, Robert Burke, Diana Chisholm,<br />
. . . Michael Davenport, Gaelen D’Costa, Michaelangelo Finistauri,<br />
. . . . . . . . Brian “Latrell” Fox, Anna Kreider, Lukas Matthews,<br />
. . . Colin Oliver, Sarah Pidcock, Lana Sheridan, and Karl Zaryski<br />
Thanks to . . . . . . . . Gavin Craig, Kaitlyn Demasi, Lino Demasi,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . Gilad Israeli, Joscelyn Kleingeld, Josh Hoey,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . Maryam Nasirpour, Stacey Saunders, Craig Sloss,<br />
. . . . . . . . Nadia V. Ursacki, Arsenyk Ustaris, and Russell Wong<br />
Production<br />
Producer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nadia V. Ursacki<br />
Poster and T-shirt Design . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anna Kreider<br />
<strong>Program</strong>me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Douglas Stebila<br />
Poster and <strong>Program</strong>me Printing . . . . . . . . UW Graphics Services<br />
Poster Run . . . . . . Federation <strong>of</strong> Students and <strong>FASS</strong> Cast & Crew<br />
T-shirt Printing . . . . . . . . . . . Trade Screens Printing Ltd.<br />
Thanks to all those who helped promote <strong>FASS</strong> by putting up posters.<br />
Musicians (“Chug Monkeys V: Chuckie’s Back”)<br />
Music Director. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Russell Wong<br />
Vocal Coaches . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm and Russell Wong<br />
Piano / Keyboard . . . . . . . . . . . . . Polly Edwards, Mike Elg,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carrie Nixon, and Erin Windibank<br />
Guitar . . . . . . . . . . . Brian Gashgarian and Dustin Windibank<br />
Bass Guitar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Chuck McPhail<br />
Drums . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mike Elg and Rob LeGood<br />
Clarinet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Douglas Stebila<br />
Flute . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Erin Windibank<br />
Turntable and Mixing; Band Sound Technician . . . . Albert O’Connor<br />
Midisax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Russell Wong<br />
SHRED EYEBALLS AFTER READING
THE SECRET WORDS ARE SQUEAMISH OSSIFRAGE<br />
Tech Crew<br />
Technical Director. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maryam Nasirpour<br />
Lighting. . . . . . . . . Morag Clark-Heptinstall and Lisa Massaro<br />
Sound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jim Peltier and Elyot Grant<br />
Flies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Christa Brown and Adam Bertrand<br />
Follow Spot . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Massaro and Amanda TK<br />
Props . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jenn Annis and Alice Pfeifer Hanov<br />
Costumes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aysha Edathodu<br />
Make-up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Radwa Auda and Sarah Kutcher<br />
Key Grip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Angela Yeates<br />
Grips . . Jenn Annis, Ann Buchanan, Shiue Lin Pang, Jason Neudorf,<br />
. . . . . . . . Hamish Paterson, Arsenyk Ustaris, and Angela Yeates<br />
Builders . . . . . . Jordis Abrahamson, Jenn Annis, Adam Bertrand,<br />
. . . . . Rachelle Boisjoli, Ann Buchanan, Morag Clark-Heptinstall,<br />
. . . . . . Michael L. Davenport, Mark Jackson-Brown, Magda Karski,<br />
. . . . Kate Kennedy, Shiue Lin Pang, Lisa Massaro, Lukas Matthews,<br />
. Jason Neudorf, Albert O’Connor, Jim Peltier, and Leander Quiring<br />
Painters . . Jordis Abrahamson, Adam Bertrand, Rachelle Boisjoli,<br />
. . . . . . Ann Buchanan, Diana Chisholm, Morag Clark-Heptinstall,<br />
. . . . . . . . . Aysha Edathodu, Steve Hanov, Mark Jackson-Brown,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . Kate Kennedy, Jessica Koteles, Shiue Lin Pang,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . Magda Karski, Lisa Massaro, Albert O’Connor,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick O’Flaherty Aviles, and Jim Peltier<br />
UW <strong>Theatre</strong> Centre<br />
Director <strong>of</strong> <strong>Theatre</strong> Operations . . . . . . . . . . . Peter Carette<br />
Front <strong>of</strong> House Manager . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nadia V. Ursacki<br />
Thanks<br />
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Metro Karges Appliances and Bates Maytag for cardboard<br />
St. George’s <strong>of</strong> Forest Hill Anglican Church for lending us<br />
choir robes<br />
Re-use Store, Bolton, for lending us props<br />
Student Life Centre for lending us chairs and couches<br />
Ron Eydt Village for lending us the bed<br />
Amos Boratto and KWLT for lending us the bar<br />
Rose and Henry at the Grad House for meeting space<br />
Donna Schell for booking all <strong>of</strong> our rehearsal rooms<br />
Tom Galloway from Plant Operations for custodial uniforms<br />
Peter Carette, Nadia V. Ursacki, and the UW Humanities <strong>Theatre</strong><br />
Our cameos: Joe West; Heather Fitzgerald; Andrew Falcao; and<br />
Marios Ioannidis<br />
THE SECRET WORDS ARE SQUEAMISH OSSIFRAGE<br />
<strong>FASS</strong> 2009 Committee<br />
About <strong>FASS</strong><br />
<strong>FASS</strong> WILL RETURN...<br />
President . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Diana Chisholm<br />
Vice President. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Khary Alexander<br />
Producer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nadia V. Ursacki<br />
Treasurer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Karl Zaryski<br />
Secretary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joanna Fawcett<br />
Chief Script Writer . . . . . . . . . . . Stephen Snuggles Skrzydlo<br />
Director. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian “Latrell” Fox<br />
Technical Director. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maryam Nasirpour<br />
Stage Manager . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stacey Saunders<br />
Representatives . . . . . . . . . . . Patrick Cort, Gilad Israeli,<br />
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Jackson-Brown, and Anna Kreider<br />
Nuclear Weapons Specialist . . . . . . . . . . . Aren’t you smart?<br />
Past President. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Albert O’Connor<br />
Past Producer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Robert Burke<br />
Past Director . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Russell Wong<br />
Past Technical Director . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mo Musbah<br />
Past Chief Script Writer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lana Sheridan<br />
The <strong>FASS</strong> <strong>Theatre</strong> <strong>Company</strong> is serious about having fun – we’re a live<br />
cartoon on stage! We’ve been entertaining UW with musical comedy<br />
since 1962. While the most fun occurs in January when over 100<br />
cast and crew rehearse and prepare the show just in time for February,<br />
you can join us at other times to get involved.<br />
Applications for the positions <strong>of</strong> Director, Technical Director,<br />
Chief Script Writer, Producer, and Treasurer are due in late February.<br />
To get more information on becoming a part <strong>of</strong> the show, check<br />
out our website at<br />
http://www.fass.uwaterloo.ca<br />
and be sure to attend our Annual General Meeting in March. For<br />
more information, contact us by email at info@fass.uwaterloo.ca.<br />
Faculty Alumni Staff & Students<br />
www.fass.uwaterloo.ca<br />
<strong>FASS</strong> WILL RETURN...<br />
Regime change?