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eragon
a short epic?
entertaining u newspaper
gift them out
of the house
show tickets, lessons
and outdoor gifts
free weekly guide to entertainment and more | december 14-20, 2006 | www.eujacksonville.com

2 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper

table of contents
feature
The Spy School ............................................................................... PAGE 14
EU Gift Guides .........................................................................PAGES 16-19
Christmas Albums ........................................................................... PAGE 20
movies
The Pursuit Of Happyness (movie review).......................................... PAGE 6
Movies In Theatres This Week ......................................................PAGES 6-9
Seen, Heard, Noted & Quoted ............................................................ PAGE 7
Eragon (movie review) ...................................................................... PAGE 8
Ed Speleers - Eragon (interview) ....................................................... PAGE 9
Apocalypto (movie review) .............................................................. PAGE 10
at home
Idlewild (DVD review) ...................................................................... PAGE 12
New Shows (TV preview) ................................................................ PAGE 13
Video Games .................................................................................. PAGE 13
food
Healthy Holidays ............................................................................. PAGE 15
music
Str8-Up - Light Parade (Whitey’s) .................................................... PAGE 21
Music Calendar ........................................................................PAGES 22-26
The Sounds That Trains Make (London Bridge) ................................ PAGE 22
Jack Rabbit’s 12 Days of Christmas ...........................................PAGE 23-24
Orange Park (interview) ................................................................... PAGE 25
Sixth O.C. mix (review) .................................................................... PAGE 25
arts / theatre / on stage
Santaland Diaries (MOCA) ............................................................... PAGE 26
Jewtopia (book review) ................................................................... PAGE 27
Derek Hess Exhibit (Screen Arts) ..................................................... PAGE 28
Arts Calendar ...........................................................................PAGES 27-28
columns and stuff
Talk To Me (Jags vs. Colts) .............................................................. PAGE 29
The Jock ......................................................................................... PAGE 29
NASCAR news & notes ................................................................... PAGE 30
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 3

thisweek
thursday DECEmbEr 14 friday
ricky Skaggs
ricky Skaggs - Skaggs Family Christmas
According to the eleven-time Grammy Award winner, “Country
rocks, but Bluegrass Rules!”
Florida Theatre – 8 pm Info: 355-2787
Peter rowan
Peter Rowan is one of the major cult bluegrass artists of the ‘80s. A
skilled singer/songwriter, Rowan also yodels, and plays numerous
stringed instruments and the saxophone. Also performing Larry
Keel. Freebird Info: 246-BIRD (2473)
Exene Cervenka’s Original Sinners with Knuckel
Dragger
Punk goddess Exene Cervenka in a not-to-be missed incarnation
reminiscent of the band that made you fall in love with her in the
‘80s, the legendary X. With her band, Original Sinners, you will
respond to the energy, smarts and wit, all of which are abundant in
their three-guitar line-up.
Jack Rabbits Info: 398-7496
DECEmbEr 14 - 16
Adam Ace Comedy Show
Combining comedy, music, props, costumes, wacky dancing,
improv and lots of audience participation, Adam Ace excites
and energizes crowds with his outrageous look and contagious
personality. Tickets: Students/Seniors/Military $10.00, Adults -
$12.00
Atlantic Theatre Comedy Club - 8pm, 15th & 16th - 9pm
Info: 249.PLAY (7529) or info@atlantictheatres.com
4 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
DECEmbEr 15
Don’t miss the beaches Nutcracker
on Saturday at Fletcher Highscool
Auditorium. For every ticket purchased
a new pair of shoes and a hot meal will
be provided to an orphan in India.
Synergy brass
Quintet
Holiday Concert featuring
Synergy Brass Quintet with
Michael J. Diorio, organ.
The Synergy Brass Quintet
has been bringing a new,
exciting brand of chamber
music to audiences since
1996. They present a wide
variety of music, ranging
from the early Renaissance
to modern to jazz and rock.
Tickets: $25 Adults, $5
Students
Church of the Good
Shepherd, 1100 Stockton
Street – 7 pm Silent Auction, 8 pm Concert Info: 389.6222
Paleo/Adrian Seamonster
About Paleo, “Haunting, rambunctious ballads that pull from a
diverse group of influences such as the Beatles and Bob Dylan
to more modern-day bands such as Neutral Milk Hotel and the
Microphones.” - www.recoilmag.com
Jack Rabbits – 8 pm Price: $6.00
DECEmbEr 15 - 16
The Florida ballet Nutcracker
$25 (Adults), $20 (Seniors, Students, Military)
Florida Theatre – Fri., 7:30 pm, Sat., 2:30 pm & 7:30 pm
Paleo
DECEmbEr 15 - 17
Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Home for
the Holidays
Nicholas Palmer, guest conductor, Kaitlyn Lusk, guest vocalist,
Jacksonville Symphony Chorus and Jacksonville Children’s
Chorus. Jacoby Symphony Hall at the Times-Union Center for
the Performing Arts Fri., Sat. at 8 pm, Sat. at 3 pm, Sun. at
7:30 p.m. Info: 354-5547
babes in Toyland
First Coast Opera (FCO) presents Babes in Toyland. In Victor
Herbert’s operetta, Christmastime finds Mistress Mary Quite
Contrary planning to marry her beloved Alan. But Mother Gooseland
is all astir as Alan goes missing and his miserly, mean-hearted Uncle
Barnaby and his goonies Gonzorgo and Roderigo just might be to
blame, since Barnaby plans to marry Mistress Mary himself! Ron
DeFesi of New York, who directed FCO’s highly acclaimed sellout
production of Madama Butterfly in 2003, returns to direct Babes this
season. Come with Alan and Mary to magical Toyland and see how
they save Mother Gooseland from despair. Center for the Performing
Arts at St. Augustine High School, Varella Road off SR 16. Fri.
and Sat. at 7 pm, Sat. at 3 pm. and a Family Performance on Sun.
at 3:00, so be sure to bring the children to meet the cast after the
show. Info: 904-417-5555 or www.firstcoastopera.com.
saturday DECEmbEr 16
The beaches Nutcracker
The East Coast Ballet, along with dancers from other dance schools,
have joined with the non-profit “i-58 projects” to make this special
holiday ballet. The show includes dozens of local performers of all
ages sharing their talents as classical ballet dancers, musicians,
vocalists, and more. Read the story on page 27 for more
information. Fletcher High School - 7 p.m. Info: 241-1266
The big band broadcast
Starring Holly Larocque and the Mark Ferguson Orchestra
Step back in time and experience a 1940’s big band concert as it
would have been broadcast “live to air.” Take a sentimental journey
to those starlit ballrooms when glamour was king and big bands
ruled the airwaves. Tickets: $24.00. FCCJ Artist Series. Charge
by Phone (904) 632-3373 or order online at www.artistseries.fccj.
org. The Wilson Center for the Arts – FCCJ South Campus - 2:00
and 8:00 p.m.

usty Evans - A Johnny Cash Holiday Tribute
Let celebrated country entertainer Rusty Evans and his band, Ring of Fire, put you in a holiday mood with
this exclusive THCA Johnny Cash Holiday Tribute. Rusty Evans is an original rockabilly who recorded
for Brunswick Studios at the same period as Buddy Holly. His love for country music was inspired by a
meeting with Johnny Cash. With a voice like rolling thunder and a spirit like gentle rain, Evans brings you
the true presence of Johnny Cash. Tickets $28 - $20 - $15
Thrasher-Horne Center For The Arts, 283 College Dr.,Orange Park - 7:30 p.m. Info: 276-6750
GrIND2SHINE
This is Duval’s very own Hip Hop Movie. $10 will get you a chance to watch the movie, enjoy a concert
and get your first drink. Endo Exo - 8 pm
blueground Undergrass & Ancient Harmony
Check out the psychedelic hick-hop sound that is Blueground Undergrass Freebird Live - $10
sunday DECEmbEr 17
The Natural
Truth
King of the South Tour
Veterans Memorial Arena - 7:30pm Price: $25.00 - 100.00
b.E.A.m. benefit with Twenty Weight,
Shawn Fisher & more bands
You can have a good time hearing great local bands perform
and help a local charity. BEAM is an independent, non-profit,
center dedicated to providing short-term social services
for residents (children, senior citizens, and adults) of the
Beaches and West Beaches. Freebird Live - $5
The Natural Truth 25th Anniversary
Christmas Show
The Natural Truth is a dynamic vocal group that has been
a player on the Jacksonville music scene since the early
eighties. This group of talented men is still here today
– entertaining a wide range of audiences with their delicate
harmonies, intricate choreography and unsurpassed
showmanship. Tickets: $15 in advance, $20 at the door.
Atlantic Theatres, 751 Atlantic Blvd.- 6 pm 249.PLAY or
info@atlantictheatres.com
DECEmbEr 19 - 21
Santaland Diaries
Ian Mairs stars in this delightful, annual production by writer, David Sedaris. (Read story on page 26.)
MOCA Jacksonville (formerly JMOMA) - 7:30 pm Info: 366-6911
wednesday DECEmbEr 20
GAC Country Christmas
See country music stars, Deana (“Did I Shave My Legs for This”) Carter; Blue County, made up of best
buds, Aaron Benward and Scott Reeves; Mississippi rooted, hunky, Steve Azar; and the deep, blues soaked
voice of Julie Robets, sing all your favorite Christmas songs as well as some of their hits.
Times Union Ctr Perf Arts Moran Theater- 8:00pm Price: $24.00
next thursday DECEmbEr 21
Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra Christmas With Clay Aiken
Pop music idol Clay Aiken joins the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra for a special holiday concert. Info:
354-5547 or jaxsymphony.org. Moran Theater at the Times-Union Center - 7:30 p.m.
The Duval Ghetto Grammy’s Awards Show
Bigga Rankin, Florida’s A&R, will be hosting the Annual Hood Awards aka The Duval Ghetto Grammy’s.
Slip N Slide Records, Hittmenn DJs, Core DJs, Ozone Magazine, Hood Magazine, Duval Streetz Magazine,
RNR players, and more will be in the building, so don’t come half steppin! We all know that hard work does
deserve reward, so come see your favorite recording artists, producers, record companies, film makers,
publicists, and DJs receive recognition. After party in Club Rain, right next door to Plush. : Tickets: $20
(Includes a copy of “Grind2Shine” DVD.) Plush – 7 pm Info: 743-1845
First Coast Opera
presents
Victor Herbert’s
Babes in Toyland
Friday, December 15 at 7:00 pm
Saturday, December 16 at 3:00 and 7:00 pm
Sunday, December 17 at 3:00 pm
Followed by a “Meet & Greet” the Cast on Sunday
St. Augustine High School’s
Center for the Performing Arts
3205 Varella Road, off SR-16
CALL FOR TICKETS
904-417-5555
Visit us on the web at
www.FirstCoastOpera.com
Admission $18 Adults, $15 Senior (65+) or Military
$10 Student with ID or Child under 12
Special Family Rate $40 - 2 parents & 2 children
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 5

movies opening this week
AMERICAN HARDCORE This gritty documentary
directed and produced by Paul Rachman, chronicles
the history of American punk rock from 1980 to 1986.
It was written by Steven Blush and stars the real
players in this rock’n’roll saga. Rated R
CHARLOTTE’S WEB Wilber the pig dreads the end
of the season because he knows that pigs go to
heaven and end up on the dinner table. So he hatches
a plan with a spider that lives in his pen to prevent
his demise. Starring Dakota Fanning as Fern and Julia
Roberts as the voice of Charlotte. Rated G
ERAGON A farm boy in his homeland of Alagasia
finds a dragon egg that leads him on a predestined
journey. Eventually, he finds out he is the one person
who can defend his homeland against an evil king by
learning to ride a fire breathing dragon. This fantasy
redefines “air power,” as the dragon is used as a
tactical weapon. Rated PG-13
PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS Will Smith stars in this
true story of a precocious child and his father, who
through circumstances beyond his control, drfits into a
downward spiral and ends up homeless but working in
a Dean Witter internship. Later he becomes a top Wall
Street broker. Smith’s real life son Jaden Smith plays
his son in this engrossing docudrama. Rated PG-13
now playing
APOCALYPTO Forget The Passion of The Christ,
this is Mel Gibson’s Braveheart-like portrayal of the
downfall of the Mayan kingdom. During the Mayan’s
decline, the ruthless king decided that to make things
better and appease the gods, he would engage in
massive human sacrifices. Jaguar Paw (Rudy Young
blood) is a young man chosen for sacrifice, but he has
other ideas and flees the kingdom to organize a rebel
army to defeat the demented king. Bloody violence
ensues. Rated R
BABEL Written and directed by 21 Grams’ Alejandro
Gonzalez Inarritu, the three stories are set in Morocco,
Tunisia, Mexico, and Japan. A tragedy befalls a
married couple portrayed by Brad Pitt and Cate
Blanchett, which sets off a chain of mysterious events
as Pitt’s character searches for answers. Rated R
BLOOD DIAMOND A large priceless diamond
becomes the center of a struggle between a farmer, a
smuggler, and a syndicate of businessmen trying to
lay their hands on it. Leonardo DiCaprio co-stars with
Daimon Hounsou with Jennifer Connelly in this action
adventure story. Rated R
BORAT Shot as a mockumentary, Sacha Baron
Cohen assumes the character of a journalist from
Kazakhstan who is dispatched to the United states to
report on the greatest country in the world. Halfway
into his travels, Borat becomes more interested in
locating and marrying Pamela Anderson. He even does
interviews in character–a ploy that real journalists
hate. Rated R
CASINO ROYALE There’s a new Bond in town,
and he’s rough, tough, and macho–Daniel Craig.
Filmmaker Martin Campbell began this new Bond
picture like the last 20 movies had never been made. It
worked! Craig is the best Bond yet–chiseled, powerful,
and sexy. He kills without hesitation, teams with the
beautiful Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) and wears today’s
fashions. In this scenario, Bond is tasked with his first
mission from Q (Judi Dench). He must stop a financial
backer of terrorism from winning a high stakes poker
game in the Bahamas. Rated PG-13
(continued on pg 8)
6 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
pursuit of happyness
movie review
by Rick gRant rickgrant01@comcast.net
A PG-13 117 min
Due to circumstances beyond one’s control,
anyone can end up broke and on the streets. Bad
things happen to good people. This remarkable scenario
chronicles the true story of Christopher Gardner,
(Will Smith) who, due to a series of unfortunate
events, ended up living in a homeless shelter with
his son, Christopher, (Jaden Christopher Syre Smith)
while he served a no-salary internship with Dean
Witter in the early 1980s.
Indeed, most people would have sunk into a
depressed state living under Gardner’s crushing
circumstances. However, the hook of screenwriter
Steven Conrad’s premise is Gardner’s amazing resilience
and positive attitude against all odds. More
significantly, Gardner believed in his abilities and
was dedicated to his goal of becoming a Wall Street
trader.
Nonetheless, once Gardner began his downward
spiral, it was an unstoppable runaway train.
Yet, he fought it every inch of the way, and persevered.
When he couldn’t make an appointment because
of some unforseen setback, he always made
it right by apologizing and being charming. Gardner’s
struggles through his darkest days is an inspiring
story that illustrates the power of positive thinking
and faith in one’s abilities. He was not going to be
“A GRIPPING,
SOPHISTICATED THRILLER. ”
-ANN HORNADAY, THE WASHINGTON POST
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beaten by his streak of bad luck, no matter what it
took or how hard he had to work. Gardner was going
to fulfill his destiny, or die trying.
Will Smith’s portrayal of Gardner is the best
since his Ali characterization. He draws the viewer
into his misfortune without losing his dignity. His incredible
determination in the face of disaster serves
as an archetype for challenging situations. Gardner
was forced to live in a cheap motel. He was evicted
from his motel room for lack of payment. His only
option left was to get in line for a homeless shelter
that quickly filled up every day. To pacify his son,
he cleverly made their homelessness into a game,
drawing on his son’s imagination.
Gardner struggled on with his internship and
studied for his brokerage license, often staying up all
night. By now, he was making significant sales and
impressing his bosses. But they would choose only
one candidate from his intern group, so he had to do
well in every part of his job, including a high score
on the test for his license.
Smith as Gardner spends much of the shoot
running for buses, appointments, and to work. His
wife, a complaining bitch, left him and her son to
move to NYC. Gardner had invested his life saving
in a new bone density machine business, selling
the machines to doctors. But it was a hard sell
since it was not much better than an x-ray. So, his
only income during his internship was selling these
machines in his spare time. When he couldn’t sell a
machine he sold his blood for money to eat and feed
his son. One night they couldn’t get into the homeless
shelter, so he and his son slept on the floor of a
bathroom. Remarkably, Gardner never complained,
he adjusted to the rapidly changing situations with
philosophical acceptance.
Jaden Smith, Will’s son in real life, turned
in a remarkable performance for his age. He had
convincing chemistry with his father as they ran
around the city desperately trying to sell his bone
density machines. Will Smith pulled off an inspired
performance which audiences will embrace. Given
his character’s dire circumstances, Smith’s sense of
dignity and purpose characterizing Gardner was an
Oscar worthy showcase for this accomplished actor.
Ultimately, this is one of the greatest rags to
riches true stories to ever be adapted to screen.
Three important factors led to Gardner’s success.
First, he had faith in himself, never losing sight of
his goal despite the setbacks. Second, he projected
a positive attitude which overcame all the negative
energy directed his way. And third, Gardner never
lost his cool. He was always charming, and won
over his bosses at Dean Witter. This is an uplifting
film to see during this silly season. And, there was
never a holiday reference to schlock up the scenario.
More importantly, the film never drifts into maudlin
sappiness.

seen. heard. noted. and quoted.
Poor LittLe rich GirL Busted
Charges will not be filed against Nicole Richie Tuesday, after
she was arrested Monday on suspicion of DUI. A Feb. 7 hearing
has been tentatively set in the case, assuming charges are
eventually filed. “This is a difficult time for Nicole but she is
prepared to accept whatever responsibility is appropriate,”
Richie’s attorney, Howard Weitzman, said in a statement. Is
this her idea of nutrition?
don’t Mess with eveL
Evel Knievel is suing Kanye West, claiming the rapper ripped off
his signature look in the video for “Touch the Sky,” in which a
red, white, and blue jumpsuit-clad West, using the handle “Evel
Kanyevel,” attempts (and fails) to ride a rocket over a gorge,
the Smoking Gun reports. Kayne is not fit to shine Evel’s shoes,
much less wear his costume.
seLf iMPortance squared
Leonardo DiCaprio faced off against himself in the Best Actor category at the 12th Annual Critics Choice
Awards for his work in Blood Diamond and The Departed, marking the first time in the history of the
awards that any actor has been doubly nominated. The awards are set to be handed out Jan. 11.
suddenLy anGeLina swooned
In an interview in January’s Vogue, excerpted by USA
Today, Angelina Jolie admitted that she began to fall for
Brad Pitt on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. (Duh.) While
filming, the stars “found this strange friendship and partnership
that kind of just suddenly happened. I think a few
months in I realized, God, I can’t wait to get to work,” Jolie
said. Before she was struck with Bradmania she said to the
media she would never steal another woman’s husband.
Right, and before that Brad had expressed his undying devotion
to Jennifer Aniston. Lying sacks of celebrity trash.
royaL rock show
Prince William and Harry confirmed they will mark the 10th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death with a
pop concert at London’s Wembley Stadium on July 1. Artists scheduled to perform include Elton John,
Duran Duran, Joss Stone, Pharrell Williams, and Bryan Ferry. In tribute to Diana’s love for theater and
dance, Andrew Lloyd Webber will perform a medley of songs from his shows, and the English National
Ballet will appear. What, the Pope is not attending?
seven days!–tiMe for a BinGe
“I haven’t had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I’m not even
legal to, so why would I?” Lindsay Lohan said. Hey, the girl
needs a f......drink.
Better Late than never
Jada Pinkett Smith donated $1 million to her high school alma
mater, the Baltimore School for the Arts, in memory of her
classmate Tupac Shakur, who was murdered in 1996. It took
her ten years to memorialize Shakur?
Like a roLLinG stone
Rolling Stone named Bob Dylan’s Modern Times the Best Album of
2006 and Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” the Best Single. Yeah, but Gnarls
Barkley is not a household word.
BaBy interruPts faMiLy feud
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are expecting a baby boy, Spelling,
who is six months pregnant, told People. As previously announced,
the baby’s middle name will be Aaron in memory of her
father. Mommy dearest will not be visiting the baby anytime soon.
free Love
A Los Angeles Superior Court judge dismissed three cases against
Courtney Love–one for misdemeanor assault and two for drug possession—after
finding she had successfully completed drug rehab.
The ruling ended Love’s probation more than one year early. Maybe
Love can stay out of trouble for at least a week.
AMERICA’S # 1 MOVIE!
Peter Travers,
“PURE ADRENALINE!”
“ONCE AGAIN,
MEL GIBSON
PROVES WHY HE
IS ONE OF THE
BEST FILMMAKERS
AROUND.”
Pete Hammond, MAXIM
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eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 7

DECK THE HALLS This mediocre holiday film
involves two feuding neighbors. When Steve Finch
(Matthew Broderick) finds out that Buddy Hall (Danny
DeVito) is building the mother of all light displays on
his house, he goes ballistic. Buddy is stealing Steve’s
thunder as Mr. Christmas. Buddy keeps adding more
and more lights so his display can be seen from a
satellite orbiting in space. Comedic situations ensue.
Rated PG
DÉJÀ VU Denzel Washington stars as an ATF agent
who travels back in time to save a woman from being
murdered. While accomplishing his mission, he falls
in love with his target, which greatly complicates his
mission. Rated PG-13
FLUSHED AWAY This animated film is about an
uptown rat Roddy (voiced by Huge Jackman) who gets
flushed down the toilet from his penthouse apartment,
ending up in the sewers of London, where he has to
learn a whole new and different way of life. Rated PG
THE FOUNTAIN This stunning art film by Darren
Aronofsky has been hailed as a masterpiece by
some pundits and panned as nonsense by others. It
involves Tomas, a man who becomes immortal by
eating bark from the Tree of Life. He lives parallel lives
simultaneously. Tomas lives three incarnations. First,
as a Spanish Conquistador on an expedition to find
the fountain of youth for Queen Isabel (Weisz), then as
the doctor married to Izzi and trying to find a cure for
her brain cancer, and finally as an advanced human
living in a bubble adrift in space unable to die to join
his wife on the other side. For viewers, it’s open to
interpretation. Rated PG-13
HAPPY FEET In the close-knit world of Emperor
Penguins, they find their mates through singing. Ah but
a penguin is born who can’t sing a note. So, the misfit
Mumbles takes up tap dancing, and soon is banished
from their community. He meets a posse of outcasts
and soon the whole penguin nation is dancing to the
oldies. The animated film is voiced by Robin Williams,
Hugh Jackman, Elijah Wood, Nicole Kidman, and
Brittany Murphy. Rated PG
THE HOLIDAY Two women, played by Cameron Diaz
and Kate Winslet, who suffer from romantic difficulties,
swap homes in each other’s countries. There, each
woman meets the man of their dreams. La de da. Costarring
Jude Law and Jack Black as the women’s love
interests. Typical holiday fare Rated PG-13
NATONAL LAMPOON’S VAN WILDER: THE RISE
OF TAJ Kal Penn stars as Taj Mahal Badalandabad
(Van Wilder’s assistant) who leaves Coolidge College
behind for Camford University. There he continues his
education and teaches an uptight student how to make
the most of his college education by picking up coeds
and drinking beer. Rated R
THE NATIVITY STORY This docudrama, directed by
Catherine Hardwicke, focuses on the life of Mary and
Joseph before the birth of Christ. The screenwriter
endeavored to be Biblically accurate, with fictionalized
dialogue. The couple eventually journey to Bethlehem
under difficult circumstances where Mary gives birth.
Rated PG
THE QUEEN A revealing, witty portrait of the British
royal family in crisis immediately following the death of
Princess Diana. The setting for this fictional account of
real events is no less than the private chambers of the
Royal Family and the British government in the wake of
the sudden death of Princess Diana in August of 1997.
The result is an intimate, yet thematically epic, battle
between private and public, responsibility and emotion,
custom and action - as a grieving nation waits to
see what its leaders will do. Starring: Helen Mirren,
(continued on pg 9)
8 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
stripped down epics
aren’t epics
Eragon gets the short shrift as a movie
by ERin thuRsby scopes1925@msn.com
C Rated PG 103 min.
I expected clichés as a matter of course in
Eragon, because it’s a fantasy movie, but it felt as
though Hollywood digested the book, sucked out the
marrow and presented it to us with only the clichés
intact. Clichés in movies actually aren’t that bad,
provided that they are given weight by their context
and there aren’t too many of them. Context is what the
movie continually lacked. As adaptations go, it was
weak enough that people watching it who hadn’t read
the book had the distinct impression that something
was missing in a lot of places. A great adaptation
doesn’t have that problem, and it is possible to adapt
a story and still keep the essence of what makes it
great. The screen version of The Godfather left out
plenty of what was in the book, but no-one felt cheated
who hadn’t read the book. In the fantasy genre,
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone did the
same, leaving out much, but keeping essential
elements to help you understand the characters
and their motives.
I watched as the actors in the movie
worked so hard, with so little. They couldn’t entirely
save it, not even with Jeremy Irons hitting
every mark and the brilliant charm of the young
Edward Speleers as Eragon. It’s a well-cast
group, but the plot, like the dragon in it, suddenly
grows at a remarkable rate of speed, with very
little explanation. Characters are introduced and
thrust headlong into danger, but we are hardpressed
to care about them because they aren’t
given the time to develop or form anything other
than a superficial relationship with one another.
The fault lies not in the actors on this point but in
the script. It felt more like a series of plot points
that had to be covered in a certain period of
time, than it did a character-driven story. At only
about an hour and 40 minutes, the run time of
this movie is short. This choice doesn’t make
sense to me, because lovers of the fantasy
genre have shown that they have patience and
will sit through a movie for more than two hours,
provided it’s a quality film.
One relationship that gets brief development
is the one between Roran and Eragon.
Their rough-and-tumble play establishes them as
brothers, even if the scene was just meant to show
that Eragon has some previous experience fighting.
There aren’t enough moments like these written in the
script, in which you come away with a sense of what
characters mean to each other and not just what they
represent in the story. That moment between Roran
and Eragon is thrown away, as we never see Roran
again for the majority of the movie.
As Murtaugh, Garrett Hedlund does a great job
of portraying a good-hearted rogue, who hates the
circumstances of his birth. He appears out of nowhere
and his relationship with Eragon isn’t established very
well in script.
Fans of the book might decry the changes made
to the character of Brom, but in the context of the film,
those changes work, with Jeremy Irons playing the
part brilliantly. He’s a man of little hope who has lost
much. He mentors Eragon in the ways of combat,
fighting and dragon care. Irons communicates the
inner life of Brom through the screen, even playing a
hint of jealousy as an ex-rider who no longer has a
dragon. Mostly though, you can see that he’s keenly
interested in shaping Eragon, the new hope in the fight
against King Galbatorix.
Evil in this movie is marked by really long,
ragged and black fingernails. You can tell that King
Galbatorix is supposed to be more evil than his supernatural
henchman Durza because his nails are much
longer and way gnarlier. King Galbatorix is played by
John Malkovich, in a throne room that screams evil
in reds and blacks. Malcovich is bit creepy as the
malevolent king but I lost all faith in him as a villain
when he sees that Durza has failed in a minor mission
and then proceeds to give him a much larger mission.
Durza (Robert Carlyle) at least kills those that fail him.
How is the King scarier? The director and scriptwriters
want us to think he is --hence, the fingernails and the
frightful Durza shrinking from the King when Galbatorix
is angry.
Eragon wasn’t all bad-- there are fine moments
when Eragon flies on the back of the Saphria, the
dragon, and also when Saphria first hatches. The
CGI baby dragon was incredibly adorable, even as
it stalked and killed rats. A few wry, good lines are
sprinkled in the dialogue and Eragon’s relationship
with his dragon seemed to be one of the most solid
in the movie. There’s plenty to entertain kids from
about seven to twelve, and the fight scenes are well
choreographed. Fantasy fans might do well to wait for
the DVD.

dragon rider
interview with Ed Speleers of Eragaon
by Rick gRant rickgrant01@comcast.net
Most young aspiring actors start their film
careers in forgettable low budget movies and
work their way up to bigger projects. Eighteen
year old Ed Speleers started his film acting
career in a big budget fantasy movie with high
expectations. If Eragon is a hit, Ed will gain invaluable
exposure that will lead to other projects
Which means that he will be moving laterally,
instead of up or down. All indicators are positive.
Fantasy is a large established market with books,
games, and popular films like the Lord off The
Rings franchise.
So, to get the skinny on Ed Speleers’
incredible stroke of luck being cast in this film,
we chatted via telephone about his experiences
making this film. Ed is British and he was able to
act in his natural dialect. He can affect a credible
American accent.
“This was an amazing opportunity for me.
I’m dedicated to learning all I can about acting and
perfecting my craft. I had taken drama in school
and acted in school plays. One day I went into
an open audition for this film, and walked away
thinking, ‘I will never hear from them again.’ Later,
they called me back for a final audition and I got
the role. The chance to act with Jeremy Irons and
the rest of the cast was exciting– a once and a
lifetime experience. At first it was intimidating, but
the director put me at ease the first day. I bonded
with Jeremy [Irons] and he taught me so much
valuable knowledge and gave me tips about my
characterization. He’s a natural teacher. In the film,
I’m the farm boy Eragon, who finds a dragon egg.
This leads to Eragon becoming a dragon rider to
save the empire from an evil king.”
“Making the film was physically challenging
since I had to ride a mechanical bull-like device
against blue screen. They swung me through the
air, around, and upside down. I felt like a fighter
pilot without a plane. It was mostly fun, but there
were many technical problems to work out. I tried
to learn as much as I could about the process of
making this type of film as I could. In the bluescreen
work, I had to use my imagination to react
to situations that were symbolized by tennis balls.
So that was hard but a necessary learning experi-
ence.”
“Before I got the role, I had read Christopher
Paolini’s novel which gave me the character’s
background. I read a lot of books on all subjects.
This helps me develop as an actor by understanding
characters and motivations. I also read a lot
of scripts. I was thrilled to get this opportunity at
such a young age. Now it’s up to me to capitilize
on it by working hard and taking many other
roles. Right now, I’m concentrating on helping to
promote this film before I worry about taking on
a new project. I’m going to take roles based on
interesting characters. I just want to keep acting
steadily.”
“Working on this film gave me a greater appreciation
of all the technicians and other actors
working on the project. Film making is a group effort
involving the talents of many people. We shot
in various locations in Vancouver, Canada, Hungry,
and Hollywood on Fox 2000 Pictures’ sound stages.
No one treated me like this was my first film.
I had to pull my weight every day. I did get advice
from director Stefen Fangmeier and Jeremy. At
first, I was overwhelmed by the scope of this film,
but I got into the rhythm of the set very rapidly. I’m
doing these interviews from the Shore Club at one
of South Beach’s art-deco hotels. So far, it’s been
a memorable experience,” Ed said.
Advanced Ticketing at amctheatres.com or (904) 264-3888
A.M.Cinema - All seats $5 before noon
on Fri., Sat., Sun., & holidays - denoted by ( )
AMC Select- Special films for select tastes.
ORANGE PARK 24
Wells Road and Blanding
WE ARE MARSHALL (PG) 7:00
CHARLOTTE’S WEB (G) (11:15 @ $5), 12:00, 1:45, 2:30,
4:20, 5:25, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45, 10:35
ERAGON (PG) (11:30 @ $5), 12:15, 2:00, 3:00, 4:45, 5:40, 7:30,
8:15, 10:15, 10:50
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PG13) (11:05 @ $5),
12:45, 2:00, 4:05, 4:55, 7:05, 7:55, 9:55, 10:55
APOCALYPTO (R) (11:45 @ $5), 1:00, 3:20, 4:20, 6:45, 7:45,
10:00, 10:50
BLOOD DIAMOND (R) (11:40 @ $5), 12:45, 3:00, 4:05, 6:45,
7:30, 10:05, 10:40
THE HOLIDAY (PG13) (11:55 @ $5), 1:00, 3:30, 4:35, 7:00,
7:50, 10:15, 11:00
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG) (11:30 @ $5), 2:05, 4:45,
9:40
NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VAN WILDER: THE RISE OF
TAJ (R) (11:35 @ $5), 5:00, 10:30
TURISTAS (R) 9:30 PM
DECK THE HALLS (PG) (11:30 @ $5), 1:55, 4:45, 7:20, 9:45
DEJA VU (PG13) (11:00 @ $5), 2:00, 5:00, 7:30, 8:00, 10:25, 10:55
CASINO ROYALE (PG13) (11:00 @ $5), 2:15, 5:45, 7:10, 9:15
HAPPY FEET (PG) (11:05, 11:35 @ $5), 12:05, 1:45, 2:15, 2:45,
4:30, 4:55, 5:30, 7:15, 8:10, 9:55
STRANGER THAN FICTION (PG13) 2:10, 7:45
BORAT (R) 7:05, 9:35
FLUSHED AWAY (PG) (11:25 @ $5), 1:55, 4:25, 10:30
THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G)
(11:10 @ $5), 1:45, 4:25, 7:00
SAW III (R) 10:45 PM
————$AMC SELECT%————
THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) (11:15 @ $5), 12:05, 1:50, 2:45,
4:30, 5:30, 8:10, 10:45
REGENCY 24
Behind Regency Square Mall
SNEAK PREVIEW!
WE ARE MARSHALL (PG) 7:00
CHARLOTTE’S WEB (G) (11:25 @ $5), 12:15, 1:45, 2:40,
4:30, 5:20, 7:00, 7:45, 9:30, 10:15
ERAGON (PG) (11:15 @ $5), 12:30, 2:00, 3:00, 4:45, 5:45, 7:30,
8:30, 10:15, 10:55
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PG13) (11:35 @ $5),
1:10, 2:20, 3:55, 5:05, 7:10, 8:00, 9:55, 10:45
APOCALYPTO (R) (11:00 @ $5), 12:35, 1:40, 3:40, 4:50, 7:05,
7:55, 10:10, 10:55
BLOOD DIAMOND (R) (11:50 @ $5), 1:00, 3:05, 4:10, 6:35,
7:20, 9:45, 10:30
THE HOLIDAY (PG13) (11:00 @ $5), 12:10, 1:35, 3:30, 4:40,
6:45, 7:50, 9:40, 10:50
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG) (11:45 @ $5), 1:55, 4:20,
10:25
TURISTAS (R) 9:15 PM
DECK THE HALLS (PG) (11:20 @ $5), 1:50, 4:15
DEJA VU (PG13) 12:45, 3:45, 7:05, 8:05, 10:00, 10:50
CASINO ROYALE (PG13) 1:05, 4:15, 6:40, 7:25, 9:50, 10:35
HAPPY FEET (PG) (11:40 @ $5), 12:25, 1:15, 2:10, 2:55, 3:50,
4:55, 5:30, 6:30, 7:35, 10:20
BORAT (R) 6:25, 8:25, 10:30
FLUSHED AWAY (PG) (11:30 @ $5), 2:15, 4:25
THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G)
12:20, 2:45, 5:00
SAW III (R) 6:55, 9:25
THE DEPARTED (R) 7:15, 10:25
————$AMC SELECT%————
THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) (11:05 @ $5), 12:05, 1:20, 2:30,
3:45, 5:00, 7:40, 10:20
BABEL (R) 9:50 PM
THE QUEEN (PG13) 2:05, 4:35, 7:20
-SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT No passes or discount coupons
Times for Saturday, December 16, 2006
Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Sylvia Syms, Helen
McCrory. Rated PG-13
THE SANTA CLAUSE: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
Tim Allen will be able to retire on these goofy Santa
Clause films. This third movie in the series features
Santa a.k.a. Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) who is faced with
double-duty: First, how to keep his new family happy,
and second, how to stop Jack Frost from taking over
Christmas. Rated G
SAW III It’s that voodoo that he do so well. Jigsaw
kidnaps a doctor to keep him alive as he directs his
apprentice to torture a new subject by solving riddles
that keep the poor captive alive. It’s the ultimate torture
endurance test. Rated R
STRANGER THAN FICTION One morning, a
seemingly average and generally solitary IRS agent
named Harold Crick begins to hear a female voice
narrating his every action. Harold’s carefully controlled
life is turned upside down by this narration only he can
hear, and when the voice declares that Harold Crick
is facing imminent death, he realizes he must find out
who is writing his story and persuade her to change
the ending. The voice in Harold’s head turns out to be
the once celebrated, but now nearly forgotten, novelist
Karen “Kay” Eiffel, who is struggling to find an ending
for what might be her best book. Starring: Will Ferrell,
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Queen Latifah, Emma Thompson,
Dustin Hoffman. Rated PG-13.
TURISTAS A hapless gaggle of young backpackers
have a bus accident, leaving them marooned in a
remote Brazilian jungle were a strange being lurks.
Think Alien in the jungle. Rated R
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS A gaggle of
unaccompanied minors are snowed in at Chicago’s
Airport during the holiday season. To amuse
themselves, they create a makeshift holiday. Rated PG
special showings
THE JERK The San Marco Theatre will be showing
Steve Martin in The Jerk along w/pizza in a cup! Dec
15th,16th midnight and the 17th at 1pm. Info: 396-
4845.
GRIND2SHINE There will be a screening of Duval’s
original Hip Hop Movie, GRIND2SHINE and Concert@
Endo Exo, 224 Kings Ave., Dec 16th, 8pm. Admission
is only $10 and includes your first drink. Info: 396-
7733.
HAPPY FEET at IMAX Happy Feet will be shown at
the World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater through
January. Tickets are $10.50 for adults with discounts
for seniors, students, military, children and groups.
The 2D World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater,
located at World Golf Village in St. Augustine, Fla.,
offers state-of-the-art, specially-designed cinematic
technology. The only IMAX® Theater in Northeast
Florida, the Hall of Fame’s 300-seat IMAX® Theater
houses an 80-foot-wide by six-story-high. The World
Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater is open every day
of the year except Thanksgiving and Christmas. For
tickets and showtimes, call 904-940-IMAX or visit
www.wgv.com. Holiday Favorites “The Polar Express”
and “Santa vs. the Snowman” are also showing at the
World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater.
AMERICAN HARDCORE This gritty documentary
directed and produced by Paul Rachman, chronicles
the history of American punk rock from 1980 to 1986.
It was written by Steven Blush and stars the real
players in this rock’n’roll saga. Rated R. San Marco
Theatre, Dec. Dec 29th, 30th Midnight 31 st at 1 pm.
Info: 396-4845.
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 9

apocalypto
movie review
by Rick gRant rickgrant01@comcast.net
A Rated R 137 min
Mel Gibson again pulled off another filmmaking
masterwork of visceral action and primal energy,
exploring the Mayan civilization in decline in the
months before the Spaniards landed in search of
gold and riches. The story is seen through the eyes
of Gibson’s protagonist, Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood)
who lives deep in the forest with his wife and
child, far away from the Mayan city. His life is happy
and carefree, but in a key scene, while out with a
hunting party, he sees a bedraggled group of other
natives passing through the forest with fear in their
eyes. It’s his first experience with the emotion of
fear.
It’s an ominous omen of the terrible terror to
come. The powerful king of the Mayan city has gone
mad with blood lust under the guise of appeasing
the gods with massive human sacrifices. It’s the
only way he can hang on to power as the population
starves from a terrible famine. To feed his bloodlust,
he sends his warriors into the forest to capture innocent
natives to be brought back to the city to be
sacrificed in a bloody ritual.
The characters speak the native Mayan language
with English subtitles, which doesn’t distract
from the action on the screen. The forest natives are
portrayed as peace-loving people who play practical
jokes on one another for amusement. They have
no idea of the horror to come as they live happily
with plenty of game to eat. Gibson took the time to
develop these characters so the audience would care
about them when the Mayan king’s reign of terror
hits them.
10 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
Jaguar Paw’s tribe is a peace-loving group who
are not warriors. So when the Mayan king’s army invades
their village, they are easily killed or captured,
despite their bravery. The kings’ warrior leader Zero
Wolf (Raul Trujillo), who is decorated with human
jaws, and his sadistic henchman, Snake Ink (Rodolfo
Palacios), see the fire in Jaguar Paw’s eyes. When
he reveals his father to the warriors, Snake Ink kills
Paw’s father in front of him to torture his soul.
Before the warriors overrun the village, Jaguar
Paw is able to hide his family in a deep hole in the
ground. He promises them he will return for them.
But he is captured and tied to a long pole with his
fellow villagers. The entire population of the village
is marched through the jungle tied to these poles
through treacherous mountain passes and river
rapids. It’s a death march. The lucky ones die before
they know their fate in the city.
Gibson has brilliantly captured the Mayan civilization
in its downward spiral. Its once mighty city
is dying as people desperately try to fathom what’s
happening to them. Surely, if enough people are
sacrificed, the gods will help them out of their nightmare?
But they face an even greater enemy than
famine when the Spaniards appear bringing their
European diseases and terror.
The premise is about how civilization can reach
a zenith and then, for whatever reason–disease,
famine, or internal conflicts–begin to decline. For
Jaguar Paw, he seeks to save his family and return
to the forest to lead a simple but happy life. Imagine
his shock when he and his fellow captives lay eyes
on the Mayan city, its pyramids, white-dust-coveredstone
workers, and an idle wealthy class. He is overwhelmed
by its majesty, but he quickly understands
that he and his tribe are going to be sacrificed.
During the tribe’s march to the city, they encounter
a little girl–a mystical prophet who warms
them of their immediate future. Zero Wolf takes her
prophecy as a bad sign of their impeding doom. Jaguar
Paw takes it as a sign he might get his chance
to escape and go back to save his family. But time
is running out, and the rainy season is near, which
means the hole his family is in will fill up with water.
To make matters worse, Paw’s wife is ready to give
birth.
Gibson has created another epic magnum opus
that grabs the viewer and never lets them go. Its
adrenaline-pumping excitement, painted with a broad
strokes of the sophistication of the Mayan civilization,
is a backdrop to Jaguar Paw’s race through
the jungle with Zero Wolf hot on his tail. The new
beginning has come at a high price for Jaguar Paw
and his tribe. Like the universe itself, the world is in
continuous flux.
Adv. Tix on Sale NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (PG) ★
Sneak Preview: WE ARE MARSHALL (PG) DIG 700
CHARLOTTE'S WEB (G) DIG★ (1110 1140 200 230) 440 510
720 750 1000 1030 1240
ERAGON (PG) DIG★ (1155 1245 230) 330 505 645 740 930
1015 1200
PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PG-13) DIG★ (1030 100 130) 400
430 700 730 950 1020 1235
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG) DIG (1035 105) 335 950 1215
THE HOLIDAY (PG-13) DIG (1015 1115 145 220) 500 710 805
1005 1110
APOCALYPTO (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1000 1100 115 245) 445
705 800 1010 1115
BLOOD DIAMOND (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1045 1145 205) 325 515
700 820 1025 1130
THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) DIG (1220) 340 645 920 1205
DEJA VU (PG-13) DIG (1205) 310 655 1000
DECK THE HALLS (PG) DIG (1040 150) 435 725 1035
CASINO ROYALE (PG-13) DIG (1200) 315 650 1015
HAPPY FEET (PG) DIG (1020 110) 405 715 955
BORAT (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1215 240) 520 745 1030
SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G) DIG (1005
1250) 345 630 915 1150
Adv. Tix on Sale WE ARE MARSHALL (PG) ★
Adv. Tix on Sale NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (PG) ★
ERAGON (PG) DIG★ (1210 110 240) 435 515 710 740 945
1015
CHARLOTTE'S WEB (G) DIG★ (1200 1230 230) 440 510 720
750 1000 1030
PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PG-13) DIG★ (100 130) 400 430
700 730 950 1020
OC & DA: THE HOLIDAY (PG-13) DIG 425
UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG) DIG (1250) 345 725 935
THE HOLIDAY (PG-13) DIG (1215 120) 740 955 1045
APOCALYPTO (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1210) 340 735 1035
BLOOD DIAMOND (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1225 335) 655 1035
THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) DIG (1245) 455 800 1030
DEJA VU (PG-13) DIG (1235) 355 745 1040
DECK THE HALLS (PG) DIG (1255) 405 640 940
CASINO ROYALE (PG-13) DIG (1205) 330 705 1025
HAPPY FEET (PG) (115) 445 715 1005
BORAT (R) - ID REQ'D DIG 645 1010
SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G) DIG (105) 410
THE QUEEN (PG-13) DIG 415 650
AMERICAN HARDCORE (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1220 245) 520
755 1015
Times For 12/16/06 ©2006

Regal Cinemas DIGITAL
AVENUES STADIUM 20
Phillips Hwy N off I-95
800/FANDANGO #680
Regal Cinemas
BEACH BOULEVARD 18
14051 Beach Blvd
800/FANDANGO #188
STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15
AMC ORANGE AMC
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PARK 24 Blanding Blvd REGENCY
RIVER CITY
TINSELTOWN
& Wells Rd
SQUARE 24 MARKETPLACE 14 Southside Blvd
904/264-3888 Outside Regency Mall I-95 to Duval Rd East Exit & Gate Pkwy
Napels Drive-In 904/264-3888 904/757-9880 DIGITAL 904/998-2020
PLAYTIME DRIVE-IN
SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT TICKETS ACCEPTED
6300 Blanding
CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES OR CALL FOR SOUND INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES
Blvd 904/771-2300
“ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF THE YEAR. ”
REGAL CINEMAS
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PHILLIPS HWY.,
N. OF I-95, EXIT 98
800-FANDANGO #680
REGAL CINEMAS
◆BEACH BLVD. 18
14051 BEACH BLVD.
992-4398
800-FANDANGO #188
SORRY, NO PASSES ACCEPTED FOR THIS ENGAGEMENT.
CHECK DIRECTORIES OR CALL THEATERS FOR INFORMATION.
Steve Oldfield, FOX-TV
STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15
AMC
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BLANDING BLVD. &
WELLS RD.
264-3888
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AND AT A THEATER NEAR YOU
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MARKETPLACE 14
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eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 11

new on dvd
Barnyard- The Original ParTy animals
(90 min.)
When the farmer’s away, all the animals play ...
and sing, and dance. When the leader of the barnyard,
a cow named Ben (Sam Elliot), is killed by a
pack of vicious coyotes, it’s up to Ben’s adopted
son Otis (Kevin James) to protect the farm. Rated
PG for some mild peril and rude humor.
The ChrOniCles Of narnia: The liOn, The
WiTCh and The WardrOBe - Four-Disc Extended
Edition (143 min.)
Based on the classic novel by C.S. Lewis, four
British children find a magical wardrobe which
leads to a mystical land called Narnia. Supplements
include an extended version of the film,
audio commentary with the filmmakers and cast,
making of featurettes, a feature-length C.S. Lewis
documentary and much much more. Rated PG for
battle sequences and frightening moments.
full hOuse- The Complete Fifth Season (609
min.)
Single father and radio deejay Danny (Bob Saget)
raises three girls with the help of his brother-in-law
Jesse (John Stamos), an aspiring rock star, and
best friend Joey (Dave Coulier), a budding standup
comic, in this long-running family sitcom that
launched the careers of Saget and Mary-Kate and
Ashley Olsen. This box set is not rated.
The devil Wears Prada (109 min.)
Naïve aspiring journalist Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway)
finds herself in a sticky situation when she
takes a job as an assistant to demanding fashion
editor Miranda Priestley (Meryl Streep). Rated
PG-13 for some sensuality.
maTerial girls (97 min.)
Ava and Tanzie Marchetta (Haylie and Hilary Duff)
are the faces of Marchetta Facial Products but
when a rumor circulates that their products cause
cancer, the girls’ stock plummets and they’re left
without their credit cards. The duo must unite and
disprove the accusations in order to save the image
of their father. In the process Ava and Tanzie
must learn humility and sincerity through the conduit
of their loss of funds and fortune. Rated PG
for language and rude humor.
Talladega nighTs: The Ballad Of riCky
BOBBy (108 min.)
NASCAR stock car racing sensation Ricky Bobby
(Will Ferrell) is a national hero because of his “win
at all costs” approach. When flamboyant French
Formula One driver Jean Girard (Sacha Baron
Cohen) challenges him for the supremacy of NAS-
CAR, Ricky Bobby must face his own demons and
fight Girard for the right to be known as racing’s
top driver. Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor,
language, drug references and brief comic
violence.
WOrld Trade CenTer (129 min.)
Oliver Stone pays tribute to the Americans at
ground zero in his dramatization of the true
story of two Port Authority policemen (Nicholas
Cage and Michael Peña) trapped in the rubble
on September 11, 2001 after going in to rescue
survivors. Maria Bello and Maggie Gyllenhaal play
the wives awaiting news and Stephen Dorff, Jay
Hernandez, and Michael Shannon co-star. Rated
PG-13 for intense and emotional content, some
disturbing images and language.
12 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
idlewild
outkast’s movie now on dvd
by kellie abraHamSoN KAbrahamson1@aol.com
Atlanta hip-hop duo OutKast has spent over a
decade changing the musical landscape with their
experimental approach to the genre. After dominating
the music world, the next natural step is, of course,
Hollywood. The pair joins forces for the first time on
the silver screen in Idlewild, a movie musical which
takes place in Prohibition-era Georgia. Idlewild is
now available on DVD.
After spending most of his life under the
watchful eye of his overly protective father (Ben
Vereen), Percival Jenkins (Andre Benjamin- a.k.a.
Andre 3000) is ready to say goodbye to the small
town of Idlewild, Georgia. A mortician at the family
business by day and a pianist at “Church” a local
speakeasy by night, Percival is a soft-spoken man
who keeps to himself even in the spotlight. His longtime
best friend, Rooster (Antwan A. Patton- a.k.a.
Big Boi), is the exact opposite. Rooster is the club’s
most popular singer and, as a result, he’s become
the right hand man to club owner “Sunshine” Ace
(Faizon Love). Rooster finds himself in more trouble
than he bargained for when he is forced to take over
Church after Ace is murdered by the mob. Balancing
his duties at the club, his growing debt to mob boss
Trumpy (Terrence Howard), and his responsibilities
at home becomes troublesome for the normally
carefree young man. Meanwhile, Percival becomes
acquainted with a beautiful singer named Angel Davenport
(Paula Patton), a young woman with secrets
in her past and dreams of stardom in her head. The
two grow close during her time in Idlewild and Percival
slowly becomes the man he has always wanted
to be. Idlewild also stars Malinda Williams, Cicely
Tyson, Macy Gray, Patti LaBelle and Ving Rhames.
Winners of six Grammy Awards, OutKast has
sold over 20 million copies of its eight releases,
making the group one of the most successful hiphop
groups of all time. The move from music to film
began in 1998 when the duo discussed creating a
semi-autobiographical 1930s period musical with
an all-black cast. Collaborating with long-time friend
and music video director Bryan Barber, the trio came
up with Idlewild and managed to sell worldwide distribution
rights to Universal Pictures in September of
2005. The film and a companion soundtrack album
were released about a year later to mixed reviews.
The Idlewild DVD was released last week and
contains very few bonus features. A deleted scene
revolving around the “Rooster” storyline made it
onto the disc along with a deleted song from the film
of the “Percival” side of the tale. Two music videos
also made the cut, one for Morris Brown by Big Boi
the other for “Idlewild Blue” by Andre 3000. The disc
is otherwise bare, leaving me to wonder if a doubledip
is in the future or if fans will have to go the rest
of their lives without at least an audio commentary
from charismatic rap duo.
Because I have long been a fan of OutKast and
have a deep love for musicals, I have a soft spot for
Idlewild. The music and choreography are breathtaking
and the two leads, more accustomed to being
behind a microphone than in front of a camera, do
an adequate job with their characters. Cameos by
Patti LaBelle and Macy Gray are both welcome and
amusing given their diva roles. First time film director
Bryan Barber fills every scene with camera tricks,
making it more like a music video than a feature
film, which is actually a good thing. Each scene
is pleasing to the eye and innovative, leaving the
viewer wanting more even though the story itself is
pedestrian at best. Barber, who also wrote the script,
left much to be desired in this tale, which is predictable
and lacking clear focus a great deal of the time.
Because the visuals are so stunning, so stylish and
energetic, it’s easy to forgive the lack of plot cohesion
and originality. All that said, I cannot, in clear
conscience, recommend this film to the general
viewing public. Those who are fans of OutKast’s music
and are familiar with Andre Benjamin’s film repertoire
will no doubt be pleased with the film. Fans
of Baz Luhrmann, who technically had nothing to
do with the film but clearly inspired Barber with his
tendency toward anachronism, will also find Idlewild
entertaining and will be reminded of Luhrmann’s
Oscar winning film Moulin Rouge. Those who have
no attachment to the above and like their period
pieces accurate in time and space should probably
steer clear of this film.
While Idlewild is admittedly not for everyone,
the film has much to offer and gives moviegoers a
glimpse at what could very well be the future of filmmaking,
the lack of a solid script notwithstanding.
Still, this is one movie that cannot be blind-bought.
Rent Idlewild and make sure it’s your cup of tea before
purchasing.

tv for the new year
noteworthy new & returning shows
by Rick gRant rickgrant01@comcast.net
The fall television season left its mark on the
vast TV landscape with some high quality product
launching on both the alphabet networks and the
cable channels. HBO remained the bastion of cutting
edge writing with Rome and The Wire replacing
The Sopranos, which is coming back in January,
2007 for its final run. Rome also returns January
14th with new Senatorial intrigue, which is not that
much different from our present day legislative
machinations. Of course, back then, unpopular
Senators were murdered.
Showtime upped the ante on its high standards
by coming on strong this fall with Weeds, Dexter,
Brotherhood, and its magnum opus, Sleeper Cell: An
American Terror, running now with all eight episodes
available on Showtime’s On-demand. Weeds and
Brotherhood return midseason in 2007.
Many mid-season replacement shows on the
alphabet networks that were launched in the fall
schedule were axed with extreme prejudice, but
many of the much anticipated shows made the cut
and will be back in 2007, including Fox’s Hell’s
Kitchen, So You Think You Can Dance. SC-Fi’s nutty
Eureka & Who Wants to Be A Superhero will return
in 2007. Get your tights ready for that goofy show.
A strong contender, USA has renewed its tour
de force show Monk, which opens with a black
& white episode December 22nd then the same
season opener will be broadcast in color with an
Internet interactive feature. Yes, we will be seeing
more Internet and television interactions as the two
mediums are headed for a marriage in the near
future. Also, like-it-or-hate-it, Psych returns to the
USA schedule in January. HBO’s popular Entourage
has been renewed for its 4 th season and my favorite
show, Curb Your Enthusiasm has been picked up for
a new season in 2007. And we thought Larry David
had retired! Well, he doesn’t need the money.
Denis Leary’s brilliant series Rescue Me
returns in January with new episodes. TNT’s sleeper
hit, The Closer just premiered a new season that will
go through January and February 2007. And just
when viewers have had enough of Nicole Richie and
Paris Hilton, the two anorexic professional celebrities
will return in a new season of the “barfathon,” The
Simple Life.
Bravo has some intriguing choices for January
2007 with the return of Top Chef with fresh meat on
season 2 currently running on Wednesday nights at
10:00 pm into 2007. Real Housewives premieres its
2 nd season on January 16, 2007.
Also brewing up a spicy gumbo, Bravo
launches Top Design, which is home design concept
modeled from the reality shows like Project Runway
and other such competition series. Hosted by Todd
Oldham, the show will premiere on January 31 st
10 ItEms or lEss
EntouragE
following the second season finale of Top Chef
and then it will move to its regular 10:00 pm ET
time slot the following week. The show will take 12
new interior designers, artists, and architects from
around the country, stick them in a swanky West
Hollywood loft and pit them against each other. The
challenges will showcase their creativity, aesthetic
sensibilities, and conflict management skills. It’s
the season of the witch with cattiness, and the bitch
coming out of both the men and women. Ouch!
That bastard cable stepchild, Ted Turner’s
original claim-to-fame channel, TBS is finally
producing two new original series that run into
January 2007, instead of just running syndicated
shows and movies. My Boys runs Tuesdays at 10:00
pm. The comedy is about a young woman being one
of the guys doing guy things like playing poker, pickup
softball games, watching sports or just hanging
out at a favorite bar. This overgrown tomboy is P.J.
Franklin played by Jordana Spiro. She is a sports
reporter for the Chicago Sun Times. Amazingly, she
has managed to get her guy pals to treat her like one
of the boys. The thing is, they don’t notice that she’s
beautiful, sexy, and would like to be noticed as a
woman, not just a guy with makeup.
The other TBS comedy series is 10 Items
or Less. The premise combines scripted and
improvisational elements. The series goes behind the
scenes at a family owned supermarket being run by
a host of kooky characters. The show runs Mondays
at 11:00 pm ET.
Yes, it’s a brave new TV landscape out there
with many choices. With the advent of DVRs, show
webcasts on the Internet, and On-demand, you can
watch any show anytime you want. Now the viewer
schedules his or her own programming.
video games
by noRm stovall normstovall@gmail.com
tom ClanCy’s raInbow sIx: VEgas
For Xbox 360
The newest installment of the Rainbow Six franchise takes us to the land of glowing lights, legalized
gambling, and legalized prostitution. Although tactically, you generally don’t get to interact with the
Las Vegas environment the way most big spenders do-you are here to fight terrorists. Using all of the
military expertise and cutting edge equipment you can carry, your job is to lead a highly skilled team
into battle, sneaking from here to there, taking cover, and using context clues to outsmart the enemy.
Online play in Vegas is amazing, and you’d be hard pressed to find a better Las Vegas themed tactical
military first person shooter game. (Actually, I think this is the only one in existence.) Rainbow Six:
Vegas is another great entry to the series, and many improvements have been made over previous
games. If you love shooters, check this one out.
ElEbIts
For Nintendo Wii
Elebits is one of those wacky but
fun games in the vein of such hits as
Pikmin or Katamari Damacy. In Elebits,
your goal is to collect tiny creatures
known as Elebits. In this hide-andseek
environment, you must leave
no stone unturned in your mission to
collect these little guys that just happen
to be the source of your world’s
power. You see, the Elebits have gone
on strike, and without them, nobody
can watch TV, turn on the lights, or
even use a microwave. The more you
collect, the more you are able to explore,
and there are plenty of puzzles and examples of physics based fun to keep you entertained. With
innovative controls (of course) and keen visual styling, Konami has created quite a gem with Elebits.
CastlEVanIa: PortraIt of ruIn
For Nintendo DS
I couldn’t be happier to see another 2D incarnation
of Konami’s Castlevania. In Portrait of Ruin,
you follow a vampire hunter and a magician
whose goal is to prevent the resurrection of Count
Dracula. The storyline takes place in Europe during
World War 2, and the setting is just as spooky
as previous games such as Symphony of the
Night. The action is great, and you can rely on
classic-style Castlevania gameplay to keep you
entertained. Portrait of Ruin also features connectivity
with Nintendo’s WiFi capabilities. I highly
recommend this title for classic style gameplay
on the go.
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 13

14 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
spy school
an unexpected gift
by Erin thursby scopes1925@msn.com
There’s always someone on your list that’s hard to shop for-- for that person here’s my best local
Jacksonville gift idea: send them to Spy School.
Tucked in the warehouse area behind the Spy Store (also known as Spooktech), the owners are
modifying the inside with walls and partitions. By January they should have their “Spy School” up and
running. The warehouse has been modified to simulate the inside of a house, complete with an attic
area. Owners Russ Leeman and Kelly Fromm plan to run their Shadow Ops Tactical Training out of the
facility. Here, people can learn about surveillance, counter- surveillance, tactical ops and self defense.
Leeman says that they expect four types of customers, those from clubs, corporate team building
sessions, ordinary citizens and law enforcement.
They expect some customers to come from air soft gun clubs and enthusiasts, who can hold
challenges against opposing teams, as well as against Shadow Op’s own team. You can provide your
own air soft gun, using 20 gram plastic BB’s with a limited power of three-hundred fifty fps. If you don’t
have the equipment needed (or if your air soft gun is too powerful), Shadow Ops is happy to rent out
air soft guns and flak jackets.
Corporations looking for a different kind of team-building activity can sign on for a weekend with
the Spy School. “In this kind of situation, it really shows who the leaders are in the group,” says Leeman
“It just tends to come out.” Each room is equipped with motion detectors so that they can monitor
how thoroughly a room has been “cleared,” helping law enforcement trainees correct their mistakes
before they’re in a real life-threatening situation and showing what corporate teams have learned. “We
also have cameras in every room and we can record the session on DVD…so people can later revel in
their triumphs and understand their mistakes.” Corporate teams can get a DVD as a memento and law
enforcement trainees can review the recordings afterward.
The facility also includes an observation area and a control booth so that employees can monitor
the rooms and control the environment. “We’re going to be setting up [slow] strobes for brief flashes
of light in the dark areas.” The strobes will have the affect of allowing participants to briefly be able
to scan the surroundings while disorienting them, because their eyes must again adjust to the low
light. Even if you go back for training a second time, you might be surprised to find that the terrain
has changed. The interlocking walls can be moved to change the layout, and doors can be added or
blocked at will.
Besides the fun tactical exercises and training, you can also learn how to set up surveillance,
just like a real spy. You can learn where surveillance is generally hidden, and how to sweep a room for
bugs. In an age when stalkers are employing hi-tech gadgetry to place tracking devices on vehicles,
keystroke capture on computers and listening devices in homes, this is good information to have, however
paranoid it might seem.
Shadow Ops Tactical Training will also offer self-defense for both law enforcement and private
citizens. “With the proper training a woman can overpower a man.” Leeman declares “I’ve seen a 12year-old
girl basically throw…a man who weighs two-hundred fifty like a rag doll.” They will also offer
courses in gun safety, laws, storage and maintenance.
Courses run from about $40 to $100 depending on the level of complexity and duration. Spooktech
is offering gift certificates for the Shadow Ops Tactical Training, so you can get a gift for somebody
who thought they had everything! The school opens in January, but you can get gift certificates
ahead of time. Call (904) 565-1004 to inquire, or just head to their store at 3633 Southside Blvd, just
before Beach, coming from Tinseltown.

healthy holidays
alternative holiday recipes
by Erin thursby scopes1925@msn.com
Just because the holidays are a time of indulgence,
doesn’t mean you can’t make healthy holiday
meals that taste good and are good for you. I spoke
with Aaron Gottlieb, owner of the Native Sun Natural
Food Market, about his passion for providing the
best, most natural foods, both on the shelves and
in the deli case. Getting people to eat what’s good
for them is a challenge anytime of the year, holidays
or not. Says Gottlieb: “If you look at the list of what
people enjoy, you find that…[it] is filled with everything
unhealthy because our palates…are geared
towards sugar.” Gottlieb and his chefs do what they
can to slip healthy alternatives into traditional recipes
and they also start with all-natural, all-organic
ingredients. “We sneak in whole grains, bake instead
of fry…and use oils that are good for…your heart,
skin, and nails—good for your overall body, like taking
a multivitamin.”
If you’re looking to stock up with the healthiest
food for the holidays, whether it be the prepared food
from the deli case or alternative ingredients for holiday
recipes, Jacksonville’s Native Sun locations can
help. The deli offers organic spiral cut ham, which
has been a big hit this holiday season. All the meats
offered at Native Sun are antibiotic free. They hold
the term antibiotic free to a higher standard. “If a
turkey is labeled antibiotic free…that can sometimes
mean that it was off antibiotics for the last twelve
weeks of its life…(that’s the government’s standard
for the label). Native Sun works to ensure that… all
the turkey provided has been antibiotic free for its
entire life.”
Those looking for a meat-free turkey alternative
can turn to a Quron Roast, which is made from a
mycoprotein that comes from Fusarium venenatum,
a type of mushroom discovered in England. The
texture is much more convincing than Tofurkey and
other soy based meatless meats.
Holiday desserts are never very healthy, but
they’re a favorite part of the holidays. It’s ok to indulge
yourself once in a while, but there are things
you can do to make your holiday desserts a smidge
healthier without sacrificing the taste. “The easiest
thing people should do,” recommends Gottlieb “if
they’re buying pre-made pie crusts, is to go to a
whole wheat or spelt pie crust.” As always, you can
look for organic ingredients and use whole wheat
flour instead of white, processed flour.
In many recipes that require milk, you can
substitute soy milk if you’re sensitive to dairy. Gottlieb
recommends Earth Balance’s Organic Buttery
Spread for a non-hydrogenated non-dairy butter
substitute. If you’re avoiding dairy and eggs, here’s
a recipe from Native Sun as a tasty alternative to
regular egg nog:
“EgglEss” Nog
3 cups White Wave Silk Soy Milk
¼ cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1teaspoon nutmeg
2 tablespoons hemp seeds
Yield: 3 cups
Blend all the ingredients in a blender, and serve.
Sprinkle additional nutmeg on top if you like.
(Source: Native Sun’s Fall Open House Recipes)
This fresh cranberry sauce recipe from Native
Sun uses turbinado sugar, also known as sugar in
the raw. It’s made from the cane sugar from the
initial pressing of the cane, allowing the innate molasses
to remain in the crystals. The crystals are a
light brown, imparting a sweet and rich flavor to the
recipe.
KillEr CraNbErry sauCE
1 large orange
1 cup tubinado sugar
Native sun’s
organic produce.
½ teaspoon grated ginger
4 cups fresh cranberries
Grate the orange peel and add to the pot with
sugar and ginger. Add the juice from the orange into
the pot and simmer over medium heat until the sugar
is dissolved. Add cranberries and cook 3 to 5 minutes
until the skins pop open. Mash berries with spoon
or fork until of desired consistency. Serve warm or
chilled
(Source: Native Sun’s Fall Open House Recipes)
The crisp texture of fresh cranberries can add
holiday flair and an unexpected panache to an otherwise
commonplace salad. I use yellow squash,
watercress, sun-dried tomatoes, sprouts and fresh
cranberries to make my seasonal Watercress and
Cranberry salad. You can use those ingredients in
what ever ratio you see fit, but use a very sweet and
spicy vinaigrette to offset the cranberries!
Here’s a another holiday favorite of my own.
I’ve replaced the celery that customarily goes into
this type of dressing with flavorful asparagus.
orgaNiC asparagus DrEssiNg
1- 12oz. package of Canterbury Naturals Rosemary
Sage Cornbread Dressing Mix
12 medium sized Argentine Green Organic Asparagus
1 large chopped onion
3 tablespoons chopped fresh organic parsley
1 teaspoon dried Frontier Thyme
1 1/3 cups of Pacific Natural Foods Organic Mushroom
Broth
1 tablespoon oil (grapeseed is best)
Chop about a 1/8 of an inch of the bottoms of
the asparagus, and discard. Next, continue chopping
the asparagus in 1/8 of an inch segments until
you get to the tips. Cut the entire tips off. Put the
chopped asparagus in a bowl and coat with ½ tablespoon
of oil. Heat a pan to medium high heat, toss
in the asparagus and bring the heat to high. Stir and
heat for 1 minute, then take the heat to low, pour in
about a tablespoon of water and place a lid on the
asparagus for about 2 minutes. Meanwhile, in a large
saucepan heated to medium, throw in your chopped
onions, chopped parsley and thyme with ½ table
spoon oil. Sauté. When the 2 minutes are up, take
the asparagus tips out and set them aside. The rest
of the asparagus can be put in the saucepan with the
onions and herbs. Mix in the broth and dressing mix.
Stir, bring heat up to high. When the liquid reaches a
simmer, turn the heat down to low and place the lid
on the pot for 12 minutes. Stir and serve. Garnish
with asparagus tips.
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 15

another
eu gift guide!
the 5th installment of entertaining u’s
holiday guide extravaganza! all for you!
gifts that get them out of the house
(not that you don’t love them) by erin thursby
wrap it up
the wrapped gifts (pictured above)
are from paper designer, heidi.
You can order her wrap collections,
paper journals and more from her
website www.shopheidi.com.
16 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
Look hard enough in Jacksonville and you can
find a gift certificate or activity to suit any interest. To
save you the trouble of looking hard, I’ve compiled
a list of gift ideas based on hobbies, interests, and
activities that might save you the agony of going to
the mall.
Life’s LittLe Luxuries
Give the special person in your life the
luxurious treatment of a gift certificate at Dr.
Clayman’s Miracle Spa. One of the best gifts
you can give is the Pamper Me Monthly package,
which allows your recipient to chose whatever spa
treatment they might like once a month for an entire year. It’s the most extravagant package, but it’s also a
great value. Other spa treatments range from $75 and up, depending on what you get. See their ad on page 2
for a full rundown on all their specials and details on free extras.
The chocolate at Claude’s Chocolate is definitely worth the drive, even if you don’t live in St. Augustine.
Get a gift certificate so your special someone can have the joy of choosing these handmade delights. For
more info call (904) 808-8395 or visit www.claudeschocolate.com.
LocaL activities Gift cards, MeMberships and cLasses
hoMe and Garden
If you haven’t heard yet, the Apron’s Cooking
School two-thousand square foot facility just
opened up. Classes include “Girl’s Night Out,”
“Kid’s Survivor Camp,” “Couples Cooking”
and much, much more from $30 and up. For
a schedule of celebrity chef appearances and
classes, go to www.publix.com/aprons.
cook book pick:
Rocco Dispirito’s Five Minute Flavors. While I
miss the drool-worthy glossy pictures that are in
most of my favorite cookbooks, this cookbook
is a terrific resource for cheap, fast, fresh, and
delectable cooking. If you know someone who
loves good food, thinks they can’t cook and has
no patience, this is the book for them.
Get your gardener a membership at the Cummer
Museum of Art and Gardens. Go to www.cummer.org
for more info.
GardeninG book pick:
A Gardener’s Guide to Florida’s Native Plants by
Rufino Osorio.
Get phYsicaL or head
outdoors
A Social Affair Dance Studio has been teaching
Jacksonville citizens everything from ballroom
dance and salsa to line dancing and swing for over
10 years. They offer gift certificates as well as
packages. Go to www.asocialaffair.net for more
details, or just call 262-9709.
If you’re looking for the perfect gift for an artist
or art lover, there’s a lot to choose from as far as
memberships are concerned. The Cummer Museum
offers many things to their members, including discounted
art classes. You also might want to check
out the membership benefits at MOCA Jacksonville
(formerly JMOMA).
Memberships at the Jacksonville Zoo, Tree
Hill and the MOSH are great for families with kids.
Film lovers will be overjoyed when you present
them with an All Access Pass to the Jacksonville
Film Festival happening May 17th-20 th , 2007. This
pass will get them into all the activities associated
with the film festival and can be purchased at a discounted
price of $200 (regularly $250) if done prior
to Jan. 15 th . If that is out of your budget then you can
purchase a Festival Screening Pass at a discounted
price of $50 (regularly $75) or Reel People Membership
for $40 (regularly $50). Call 904-933-9399 or
go to www.jacksonvillefilmfestival.com.
for the GuYs
For the downtown businessman or the
consummate golfer, give them a gift certificate
for Inside Golf. Located above Boomtown at
140 W. Monroe, it’s the perfect place to perfect
that swing using an indoor putting green and
a virtual simulator. A comfy lounge area, beer,
wine and a snack bar make this a great place
to conduct casual business. Gift your guy with
unlimited golf for only $21 per month (play until
the next person needs the simulator or a tee
time in pending). Call 358-3080 for more info.
There’s quite a selection of deep sea, sport
fishing charters. Knot Tied Down out of St.
Augustine is a family owned and operated
charter, with gift certificates available. Call
797-1813 for more info.
book pick for the sportsMan
and adventurer:
The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook
covers how to “wrestle an alligator,” “escape
from quicksand” and other interesting
situations. Each topic has been worked over by
an expert, with step by step instructions.
dance basics book pick: The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Ballroom Dancing

If you know someone who’s looking to get into yoga, get them a gift certificate at Power Yoga San Marco
South where they can join classes of any level. The locally owned yoga studio has been open for 10 years
and has a strong following. Go to www.yoga-power.com or call 655-4642 for more info.
YoGa book pick: Light on Yoga: The Bible of Modern Yoga by B. K. S. Iyengar and Yehudi Menuhin is
a decent beginner’s yoga book.
ask before you start searching.
A membership at a local pooch park is the
perfect gift for a dog owner who likes to see
their doggie run and play. The entire facility at the
Julington Creek Animal Walk is devoted to pet
luxury. Park membership is $250 a year, $12 daily
and $50 monthly. Besides the usual dog pond and
benches, they’ve also got wooded walking trails,
an agility area and a swimming pool shaped like
a bone. It’s also a great place to board your pets.
For more info on this extensive facility visit www.
julingtoncreekanimalwalk.com
book pick for doG Lovers: Bad Dog:
278 Outspoken, Indecent, and Overdressed Dogs
tickets to shows, tickets to ride
Give the gift of theatre to fans of the stage, with season passes or just a ticket to a show you know
they’ll be interested in. You can also get tickets to Florida theme parks for kids and adults.
tickets for kids
Seussical. Take a romp through Seuss classics like The Cat in the Hat, Horton Hears a Who! and Yertle
the Turtle in this adaptation created especially for young audiences. January 4, 10 AM and noon, Fine Arts
Center, UNF Campus, 4567 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., $6. Call 353-3500 to reserve a ticket and for more info.
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. “The Greatest Show on Earth” returns with its colorful
cavalcade of lions, jugglers, clowns, tigers, acrobats, elephants, aerialists, zebras, contortionists,
equestrians, alpacas and funambulists. January 17-23, Veterans Memorial Arena (353-3309).
theMe park tickets
Most theme parks offer gift cards these days or
ticketing options that make sense for the gift giver.
Universal and Adventure Island have tickets that
only start to expire once you activate them (http://
www.universalorlando.com/). Anheuser Busch Adventure
Parks now offer gift cards specific to their
various parks, like SeaWorld and Busch Gardens
(http://commerce.4adventure.com/store/tickets.
asp).
You can buy your grandkids tickets to Disney on
http://disney.go.com/home/ today /index.html, but
most tickets you purchase will have an expiration
date. Make sure that their parents have the time
off to make the trek to Orlando, or the inclination
to make the entire trip during a three day weekend
before the expiration date. A more flexible solution is
the Disney Gift Card, which is redeemable for tickets
or Disney merchandise.
For just $30, you can give someone a
Scenic Guided Trail Ride of one hour at the Diamond
D Ranch. They’re good for one year. Call (904) 289-
9331 to get your gift certificate today and for more
info.
book picks for the horse
enthusiast: Anything by Dick Francis or John
Francome would be a great pick, if they’re also into
murder mysteries. Picking a non-fiction book will be
dependent on the breed they prefer, so be sure to
A more local option is a season pass to Adventure Landing, provided the kids won’t forget about it by
the time the hot weather rolls around. There are also year round attractions like laser tag and go-karts.
Season passes are $109 until January 15 th , with additional passes going for $69. http://adventurelanding.com/jaxbeach/index.html
(Gift Guide continues on paGe 18)
do you hear what i hear?
great gifts for music lovers by brenton crozier
There will be no need to resort to a gift certificate for the music lover on your Christmas list this year.
With the release of some brilliant box sets, underground gems just waiting to enrich any aficionado’s
library, and a multitude of standards that simply may have been overlooked, there’s a void you will surely
be able to fill in anyone’s collection.
brinG on the box sets
Box Sets often do not deliver the bang for the
buck and only serve to siphon hard-earned cash
from committed devotees. However, this season
presents some real treasures for not only fans of a
particular artist, but for any music and pop culture
enthusiast.
Johnny Cash At San Quentin
No one single performer was as cool as Johnny
Cash, and no concert cooler than his show at San
Quentin prison. Convicts loved it, and now you can
to. This new box set contains 2 CDs with 13 previously
unreleased tracks and a DVD called Johnny
Cash in San Quentin, a 1969 British documentary.
It features some particularly interesting morsels
found in the caustically candid interviews with
prisoners and guards that were present for the
now legendary performance.
The Clash Singles Box Set
Enjoy all 19 of The Clash’s UK singles in one collection.
As equally as exciting as the music, is the
original artwork and 44-page booklet. The overall
aesthetic elements of this box set are worth the
price. The vinyl reproduction CDs and super cool
7” style sleeves will bring you right back to your
hipster heyday. The Clash have never looked so
good.
Louis Armstrong The Complete Hot Five & Hot
Seven Recordings
These 4 CDs contain some of the most pivotal
Jazz recordings ever made. Louis Armstrong’s
Hot 5’s and 7’s are essentially the blueprint for
improvisational music. In addition to Armstrong’s
transcendental brilliance, you are sure to enjoy
the extensive booklet that features critical essays,
photo galleries, and meticulous discographical
information.
AC/DC Bonfire
For those about to rock, I salute the Bonfire AC/DC
box set. As you may have guessed, it is a tribute
to AC/DC’s late, great lead singer, Bon Scott. Part
of the 5-disc collection contains 2 live albums,
an album of outtakes, and a remastered version
of ‘Back in Black.’ A booklet of rare photographs
and band history accompanies this collection of
3-chord mega riffs and Rock-n-Roll screeching at
its best.
soMe of MY personaL favorites
Viktor Vaughn Vaudeville Villain
Vaudeville Villain is a product of Viktor Vaughn;
one of MF Doom’s many alter egos. I normally
consider mask-adorned musicians a red flag, and
MF Doom may pattern his persona and look after
Marvel Comics supervillain Dr. Doom, but his
music is no gimmick. This East coast underground
pacesetter spins sordid stories grounded in humor,
barmy scenarios, and brilliant rhyme ala EL-P. The
lush production is equally as brilliant. If you enjoy
the music of Gorillaz, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Method
Man, or Dr. Octagon, MF Doom would be a great
next step to satisfy your appetite for hip-hop with
further depth.
Sufjan Stevens Greetings from Michigan: The
Great Lakes State
Sufjan Stevens writes tragically beautiful and tender
songs. This album pays homage to his home
state of Michigan and could be tidily categorized
as a concept album. However, each song stands
on its own. His music at times feels like the
soundtrack to fairytales and even has moments
of catchy pop brilliance. These songs are a near
perfect meeting of complex polyphony and folksy
instrumentation that includes lots of acoustic guitar
and even banjo. If you enjoy the music of Nick
Drake or Elliot Smith, you are sure to fall in love
with Sufjan Stevens and his melancholy songs.
The Shins Oh, Inverted World
The Shins have managed to mix Beach Boys-like
harmonies with Beatles-like melodic sensibility into
an infectious, and at times gorgeous, indie-pop
rock sound. Oh, Inverted World offers a multitude
of sounds that range from psychedelic nods to The
Byrds to lush folksy songs in the vein of Donovan;
all while maintaining their own, fresh sound. Fans
of everyone from XTC and Guided by Voices to the
aforementioned influences, should add this solid
and timeless work in their rotation.
Marie Antoinette Soundtrack
Although scoring a classic story to modern music
has met with utter failure in recent years, it works
for Sophia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette. A delicious
feast of new wave, post-punk, classical pieces,
and electronica awaits in this 2-disc soundtrack.
From the 80’s du jour of Siouxsie and the Banshees
and New Order to electronic maestros Air
and Aphex Twin, you could very well get something
different every time you listen to one of these 2
albums.
Alison Krauss & Union Station Lonely Runs Both
Ways
Take Alison Krauss’ angelic voice and the brilliant
musical craftsmanship of both her and her band
Union Station, and you have another winning album
with Lonely Runs Both Ways. They stay true
to their earthy bluegrass roots and add touches
of Americana and melancholy to construct very
sincere juxtapositions both haunting and charming.
Fans of everyone from Sarah McLachlan to Nickel
Creek will find an appreciation, and then a deep
fondness for this album.
stapLes that shouLd be a part
of everY coLLection:
Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
Rolling Stones - Aftermath
Beatles - Magical-Mystery Tour
U2 - Achtung Baby
Radiohead - OK Computer
The Pixies - Doolittle
The Beastie Boys – Check Your Head
Sloan - Smeared
Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 17

fantasy genre gift ideas
froM kids to aduLts by erin thursby
Know someone fascinated by worlds of dragons, swords and sorcery? Here’s my oh-so-short
guide to fantasy-world gift giving…
books, videoGaMes
and extras
Dragonology, the fauxfactual
illustrated encyclopedia
of all the different kinds of dragons,
is great for kids from about
third grade and up. Smaller kids
will like the pictures and some
adults will even like it for its dry,
tongue-in-cheek humor. It even
includes “ads” for dragon taming
equipment. Several pages
fold out, and I’d say it isn’t a
book that should be subjected
to rough-and-tumble treatment.
If you’re giving it to a smaller
child, it should be placed on a
shelf and taken down at special times, until the child is old enough to take care of the book.
Fantasy Cartooning Book and Kit by Ben Caldwell is sure to be a hit for any budding cartoonist who
loves the fantasy genre. Cadwell worked for Marvel comics in the past and his kit has everything you
need to get started in drawing sword-wearing heroes, huge monsters and the occasional elf maiden.
If your kids love Eragon (the movie or the book), there’s slew of tie-in products because of the
movie. There’s the Eragon video game, which hit shelves on November 17 th for the PC, XBox, XBox 360,
Playstation 2, Game Boy Advanced (GBA), Nintendo DS, and Playstation Portable (PSP). You can even
purchase an Eragon Magic 8 Ball, as well as books that feature glossy stills from the movie production.
You can always buy the next book in the Eragon series, Eldest.
battLefieLd fantasY GaMes
The local gaming store, War Dogs (recently moved to 5800 Beach Blvd.), carries a horde of fantasy
related products. Fantasy battlefield strategy games of different types are available. Warhammer is basically
a mass combat game in which you pit an army of 60-120 figures against one or more players. Each
figure in the army can come painted (generally plastic) or unpainted. Dungeons & Dragons has its own
battlefield strategy game, in which you can have fantastic creatures. Lord of the Rings also has a similar
battlefield tactics game. The difference between the three fantasy battlefield tactics games comes down
to a preference between what world you’d like to play in and the number of troops you can command.
Warhammer can involve far more figures than the D&D strategy game, but the D&D figures have a little
more variety. The starter kits for all three of these games tend to be around $50. Miniatures of dragons,
wizards and warriors are also sold separately so you can fill out your army. Many people make a practice
of collecting and painting these miniatures as a hobby, even if they don’t play the battlefield games. Figures
go from about $5 and up, sometimes coming in packs instead of individually. You can buy the tiny
brushes and paints needed to detail figures in most places where they sell the miniatures, including War
Dogs. The figures and paints are a great gift for fantasy-hungry friend or child.
tabLetop roLe-pLaYinG GaMes
If you know someone who used to play D&D who would like to get back into the game, hook them
up with the new D&D Players Handbook or the newest D&D universe, Eberon, a fun cross between the
fantasy world and pulp/adventure. The 3.5 gaming system is tons easier than the old system, and the
fantasy art in the newer guide makes it worthwhile, even if they never end up playing. Speaking of never
playing, any fantasy lover who has no intention of ever playing D&D would still love the Monster Manual,
an illustrated guide of creatures fantastic and otherwise, which you might encounter in the D&D universe—from
elves and unicorns to slime monsters and undead zombies.
pickinG out a tabLetop roLe pLaYinG GaMe for kids
Those picking up tabletop role-playing games like D&D for their kids, would be best served if they
asked proprietor of the gaming store about the complexity and age level of the gaming system. Some
brands, like the goth-horror of the White Wolf brand, appeal more to teenagers and are too dark for some
people to handle. Unless you’re buying for an adult, you need to stay away from the Black Dog brand
entirely, as it is a very graphic off-shoot of White Wolf. Stick with D&D core books (Player’s Handbook,
Dungeon Master’s Guide and Monster Manual) if you’re unsure.
Fantasy genre books, movies and games are certainly far more abundant than they were when I
was a kid. You can pick up your fantasy fiction from a bookstore, but gaming stores are more likely to
know their products. There’s plenty to choose from whether you’re getting a gift for a child or someone
who’s a kid at heart.
18 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
fccJ artist series staGe tickets
broadway tickets
Here’s a listing of all the FCCJ Broadway Show Tickets you can get as a gift, better yet, get season passes!
Call (904) 632-3373 for more info.
SWEET CHARITY January 23 rd -28 th Molly Ringwald stars in the national touring version of the Broadway hit
about the unluckiest romantic in New York City, a particularly troubling detail when your name is Charity Hope
Valentine. Times-Union Center $25.50-$67.50
MENOPAUSE, THE MUSICAL thru January 28 th at
the Times-Union Center -Terry Theater.
RENT February 2 nd -3 rd at the Times-Union Center
- Moran Theater. Direct from Broadway!
THE LION KING March 8 th -April 15 th at the Times-
Union Center
MAMMA MIA! May 15 th -20 th at the Times-Union
Center - Moran Theater. Direct from Broadway!
opera tickets
Give the gift of opera tickets. Also from FCCJ.
Call (904) 632-3373 for more info.
TURANDOT January 12 th at the Times-Union
Center.
RIGOLETTO January 30 th at the Times-Union
Center

Give the Gift of Live Music!
If you want to fork out big bucks for a big show
the following hit makers will be performing at the
Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena.
Call 630-3900 for details.
ROD STEWART January 13 th
JOHN MAYER January 25 th
BILLY JOEL February 7 th
KRIS KRISTOFFERSON AND ROSANNE CASH
February 25 th
THE NEW ORLEANS JAZZ ORCHESTRA March 9 th
For a more intimate show, below is just a sampling of
entertainment that will be at the Florida Theatre:
LOS LONELY BOYS February 1st
WILLIE NELSON February 6 th
JOE BONAMASSA February 9 th
THE BEACH BOYS March 10 th
THE TEMPTATIONS AND THE FOUR TOPS March 18 th
ANOUSHKA SHANKAR March 23 rd
LEO KOTTKE March 29 th
TOM JONES April 9 th
Call 355- 2787 and go on-line for a more complete
list of the shows at the Florida Theatre (http://www.
floridatheatre.com/)
HANK AND MY HONKY TONK HEROES
Hank Williams tribute artist Jason Petty takes
listeners on an “insightful journey” into the life of
the hard-livin’ country music icon, paying homage
to other country legends like George Jones, Jimmie
Rodgers and Roy Acuff along the way. Think of
it as a 1940s, Honky Tonk version of Behind the
Music. December 29-February 4, Tuesday-Sunday,
Alhambra Dinner Theatre, 12000 Beach Blvd., $25-
$46 (641-1212).
kids gifts under $20
Great books. cds and dvds for everY kid on Your List
by kellie abrahmson
books
Disney CD Storybook
Perfect for: Disney fans of all ages
These 4-in-one storybooks are a great way to
bring the classic films to the page complete with
an accompanying audio CD. Several of Disney’s
hit films have been covered in these books including
The Lion King, Bambi, Winnie-the-Pooh
and, of course, the princesses. Six different
books are available on Amazon.com ranging in
price from $18.96-$10.61.
The Princess Primer by Stephanie True Peters
Perfect for: Ages 6-9
Written by a “fairy godmother,” this charming
book gives little girls tips on how to dress for a
royal ball, how to wear a tiara and how to spot
her prince charming. The adorable guidebook
can be purchased on BarnesandNoble.com for
only $13.99, a bargain for insights from a real
life fairy godmother!
Pirateology: A Pirate Hunter’s Companion by
Captain William Lubber
Perfect for: Tweens
For just $11.99 on Amazon.com you too can
own this very special book written by a (fictitious)
pirate hunter in the early 18 th century.
Pirate fans can learn fun facts about the buccaneers,
find out how to tie sailor’s knots and
explore destinations around the world.
Three Beloved Classics by E.B. White
Perfect for: Tweens and Teens
This boxed set comes with three of E.B. White’s
classic children’s tales Charlotte’s Web, Stuart
Little and The Trumpet of the Swan. At a list price
of only $19.99, this is a terrific and affordable
way to introduce the kid on your list to some
fantastic literature.
cds
Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Pink
Floyd
Perfect for: Infants and Toddlers (and their cool
parents)
If you know someone who has a new baby, this
CD may just get you a big fat kiss even if you’re
not under the mistletoe! Baby Rock Records has
taken the best of Pink Floyd and turned them into
instrumental lullabies to soothe infants without
driving their parents up the wall with lame music.
Other CDs include songs by Nirvana, The Cure,
Coldplay, Radiohead, Metallica and much more.
These cool discs can be found at BabyRockRecords.com
for $16.98 each.
Welcome to Ralph’s World CD/DVD combo
Perfect for: Toddlers and Preschoolers
Playhouse Disney staple Ralph’s World (Ralph
Covert) released this terrific CD/DVD combo
which comes with 16 songs and 6 fantastic videos.
Kids and their parents can enjoy these fun
songs plus an exclusive video for “Happy Lemons”
for just $7.79 if purchased on Amazon.com.
Jack Johnson and Friends- Sing-A-Longs & Lullabies
for the Film Curious George
Perfect for: Preschoolers
My husband and I bought this CD when it was
released in February and it’s become a fast favorite
with my two children (ages 2 and 4), who have
memorized nearly every song on the disc, as have
we (he does a mean cover of the White Stripes’
“We’re Going to be Friends”). This kid and adultfriendly
CD can be found on BarnesandNoble.com
for just $12.58.
Hannah Montana
Perfect for: Tweens and Teens
This Disney release debuted at #1 on the Billboard
200 just a couple of weeks ago and if you haven’t
picked it up for your Hannah Montana fan you’re
missing out on a sure fire winner. Thirteen tracks
from the hit series and beyond can be found on
this CD for $12.99 at Amazon.com.
dvds
Goodnight Moon and Other Sleepytime Tales
Perfect for: Toddlers and Preschoolers
Send little ones off to Dreamland with this terrific
DVD found at BarnesandNoble.com for just $6.49.
Stories include “Goodnight Moon” narrated by
Susan Sarandon, “Hit the Road to Dreamland”
performed by Tony Bennett, “Hush, Little Baby”
with Lauryn Hill, “There’s a Nightmare in My
Closet” with Billy Crystal and much more.
Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses
Perfect for: Girls ages 5-10
Little girls love Barbie and princesses and ballerinas.
This entertaining CGI animated flick gives
them all that and more! The film inspired many
of the season’s hot toys, so this DVD is one that
should be on the top of many shopping lists. Pick
it up at Amazon.com for $13.99.
Teen Titans- The Complete First Season
Perfect for: Ages 8 and up
A group of teenage superheroes join forces to
stop the forces of evil in this fun Cartoon Network
series. The first season of the show is available on
Amazon.com for the rock-bottom price of $14.99.
Drake & Josh Go Hollywood (73 min.)
Perfect for: Teens and Tweens
When their little sister accidentally gets on a plane
headed to Los Angeles, the Nickelodeon duo
must follow her to Hollywood and bring her home
safely. True to form, the boys find themselves in
a heap of trouble when they get mixed up with a
ring of counterfeiters. Amazon.com has the film
for just $11.99.
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 19

simply having a
wonderful christmas time
Christmas albums you must have
by jon bosworth jaxvillain@yahoo.com
I used to require a visit to the mall to get
into the Christmas spirit. Isn’t that horrible? How
“consumerist culture” is it to NEED the mall to feel
festive. I violently broke myself of that habit before
I had children that would also get indoctrinated with
the compulsion to endure thousands of rude people
bustling around to pay too much for gifts they didn’t
even put any thought into. But the thing that really
intrigued me was the juxtaposing Christmas songs
being piped into that circus telling lies about smiling
faces and joy.
I didn’t throw the baby Jesus out with the
20 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
bathwater; I just gave up the mall. When I was
younger my parents had Christmas albums by Evie
and Johnny Mathis. They were torture, even when
they were all I knew of Christmas music. But when
they took me to the mall I would hear Frank Sinatra,
Bing Crosby, and even The Jackson 5. So to benefit
my children, I have spent the last ten years trying to
accumulate a terrific collection of seasonal music
that will help them get into the spirit, without all of
the shopping and capitalizing.
The first CD I put on every Christmas is called
Christmas Sing with Frank and Bing. Although
my favorite had always been The Bing Crosby
Christmas Album, I actually haven’t purchased the
CD version yet (gift hint), and of all of the Sinatra
and Bing Christmas albums, Christmas Sing with
Frank and Bing is my new favorite. On this album,
the two crooners talk throughout as though they
were hosting a caroling cocktail party, and they
make odd jokes about getting drunk. I think they
even talk about wife swapping or something. It’s
hard to understand their cool-cat mumble in parts. In
addition to the candor the stars provide, I also enjoy
Frank’s from-the-hip versions of ‘Have Yourself a
Merry Little Christmas’ and ‘Santa Claus is Coming
to Town,’ and the duet of ‘Jingle Bells.’ But the real
cherry on this album is their version of Cole Porter’s
“Well Did You Evah?’
After adjusting to the traditions of the season
with Frank and Bing, I will usually switch to the
funkier Christmas jams found on my Jackson
5 Christmas. From Michael Jackson’s hit ‘Little
Christmas Tree’ to their version of ‘I Saw Mama
Kissin’ Santa Clause,’ nothing is more festive than
Michael’s pre-pubescent voice backed up by his
siblings and the Motown band. When that album
ends, you’re going to be sad, so the trick is this:
Put on Someday at Christmas by Stevie Wonder.
Although his version of ‘Ave Maria’ is tedious,
you can start the album on number three, ‘Little
Drummer Boy,’ and the rest of the album is a hit.
‘Christmastime’ and ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Me’ are
among my favorites.
By now you’ve enjoyed some of the traditionals
in various forms, so just to finish up the classics,
I usually put on A 1940s Christmas because it has
all of the classics sung to big band arrangements,
including Rod McKuen’s version of ‘Baby, It’s Cold
Outside,’ Judy Garland doing ‘Have Yourself a Merry
Little Christmas,’ ‘Jingle Bells’ by Benny Goodman
and ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ by the Tommy
Dorsey Orchestra. If that doesn’t completely satisfy
your craving for the spirit, pour yourself a strong
eggnog and hit Dean Martin’s Season’s Greetings.
From beginning to end, this album reminds me of the
holiday-drunk uncle I never had.
Glenn Miller is great for holiday parties, since
they are mostly big-band instrumentals, they play
well in the background and make you feel right
wearing a bad sweater and holding a martini. Willie
Nelson’s Pretty Paper is another classic that we
listen to during the annual hunt for a Christmas tree
with the whole family piled into the car. Of course
no Christmas is complete without If Every Day Was
like Christmas, Elvis’ classic holiday album. With 24
tracks, Elvis doesn’t leave anything out, and it even
ends with a personal “Merry Christmas” from Elvis
and a haunting version of ‘Silent Night.’
To get completely away from the traditions
of your parents, grand parents, and even greatgrandparents,
there are some more contemporary
options. On one hand, anyone can go out and get
the new Sufjan Stevens’ Songs for Christmas, but
I revel a little more in the rarities. By rarities I don’t
just mean my Yo! MTV Raps Christmas album Yo
Ho Ho, but some of the gems featuring more current
artists that are harder to come across. For instance,
the compilation album Maybe This Christmas has an
amazing version of ‘Blue Christmas’ by Bright Eyes,
‘Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ by Coldplay,
and a strange duet between Barenaked Ladies and
Sarah McLachlan.
Okay, so you’re tired of the same twenty
songs by varying artists, here are some outstanding
Christmas songs that step out of the tradition. The
first one to note is ‘Father Christmas’ by The Kinks.
This punkish Christmas song is about a bunch of
poor kids robbing Santa Clause. For something a
little more recent, look into The Flaming Lips’ original
song ‘A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn’t So)’ or
the rare, but classic, duet with Tom Waits and Peter
Murphy called ‘Christmas Sucks.’ For the most part,
you have to dig around on the Internet to find those
songs, but another great various artists Christmas
album is the import It’s a Cool Cool Christmas,
which has songs by The Dandy Warhols, Grandaddy,
The Flaming Lips, Teenage Fan Club, The Eels, Snow
Patrol, and even Low.
Christmas can have everything from the
sarcasm of Tom Waits to the freshness of Bright
Eyes, even when they are singing traditional songs.
On the Belle & Sebastian’s Peel Sessions,
they perform a set of Christmas songs that include
“Santa Clause, Go Straight to the Ghetto’ and their
cover of Elvis’ ‘Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me.’
I usually don’t like Belle & Sebastian, but in this
performance they avoid their usual pretension and
play some great seasonal songs.

lights, boats and music
str8-up at whitey’s light parade
by Rick gRant rickgrant01@comcast.net
Ten years ago, I retired from any further judging
activities. However, I make one exception every
year–Whitey’s Fish Camp’s Annual Lighted Boat
Parade. Last year, it was viciously cold on that dock
and I emerged as a frozen geezer-cicle. This year, I
bundled up with serious cold weather gear and I was
as warm as toast until the cold ate through my pants
and my butt got frozen.
Thirty boats of all sizes entered the contest
with some truly creative lighting. Joining me on that
icy dock were Eve Szymanski of the Clay County
Chamber and Tourism Council, Dave Brennan of
Folio Weekly, and Rita Dissow of Clay Today. The
winner of the lighted boat parade won an all expense
paid trip for two to Trenton, New Jersey–no way
Jose–it’s really the Bahamas. Trenton is nice if you
like smokestacks and air you can taste.
The guy dressed as Santa with the live band on
board was back this year, but he won last year, so I
scored him low. A boat with the skyline of Jacksonville
in lights was impressive. But the boat with the
computer synced music and lights got my highest
vote. The lights changed and fireworks were blasted
off at key points in the music. It was a floating rock
show.
For this fourth annual event, the crowd was the
biggest ever with satellite parking across the bridge.
A shuttle brought people back to Whitey’s. Hundreds
of people lined up on the bridge to view the spectacle.
All the docks across the river were decorated
with lights. Whitey’s was packed with an overflow
crowd, with many families and kids galore. Yes, this
had become a major event for the Fleming Island region.
Who knew that Whitey’s would emerge as the
epicenter of Christmas spirit for all of Clay County?
After enjoying dinner, I hung around until the
band played. For this year’s hoopla, Str8-Up was the
featured live entertainment. This six piece funkadelic
soul band has gone through some personnel changes
since the last time I covered their act at Brewster.
The most significant artist to join the group is Myrna
Lynn Stallworth–a statuesque powerhouse who can
belt out the Motown catalogue with a quality voice
that cuts through the mix.
Myrna’s strong, emotionally charged voice and
magnetic stage persona gives the band a memorable
identity. Born in Jacksonville, Myrna gravitated to
music at an early age. Her childhood was spent
singing gospel music. It wasn’t until the age of 33
that Myrna felt the desire to pursue a secular musical
career. Myrna is a gifted singer, songwriter, arranger,
and performer. She is a tower of power at 6’2”. This
gal is the real deal.
My main man, Excel Lewis, drives the band
on drums. Lewis came to Jax two years ago and is
experienced playing in many ensembles and many
different genres, including funk, jazz, and rock bands
over the years. He’s a solid player who anchors the
band’s killer grooves. Lewis was instrumental in
starting Str8-Up in Jacksonville.
Jim Wallace plays all single and double reed
instruments. A Berkeley School of Music scholarship
recipient, Jim’s instrument of choice is the tenor
saxophone. Jim is also versatile and very experienced,
having played in innumerable ensembles.
He likes R&B and funk and his trademark sound is
mixing jazz-oriented background into the elements of
Str8-Up’s soul-based rhythms.
Bassist Jeffrey Abraham is from Augusta,
Georgia and has been playing bass since the age of
fourteen. He’s played in many memorable ensembles
including gospel groups. After his Navy career
Jeff returned to his musical roots, playing in bands
and studying bass.
Julius Walker, on guitar, was born in Mississippi
and raised in St. Louis, which gave him a
varied musical background. His blues roots have
served him well. Julius brings years of experience to
the table for this funk-soul band and that experience
shows in his comping and inventive lead playing.
Also on guitar is John Parker-Urban who is
another guitar burner who brings his diverse background
to the Str8-Up lineup. John is one of those
guitarists who can play any style, soaking up his
many influences and creating an original technique.
John loves playing with Str8-Up because of the infectious
grooves that set up his blistering solos.
So it was a dynamite event at Whitey’s with
the dazzling lighted boat parade, the great food, and
Str8-Up grooving on the bandstand. Man, this was a
hip happening of the highest order.
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 21

live music
shows calendar
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 14
Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds Lounge,
St. Augustine (829-8646)
The Committee Cortesse’s, St. Augustine (825-6775)
Gutterboy Cecil’s, Jax (744-5132)
Blackcreek Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611)
Nathan Holley Bukkets, Jax Beach (246-7701)
Ricky Skaggs Florida Theatre, Jax
2 Blue The Landing, Jax
Christopher Williams European Street, Jax (399-1740)
Dot Wilder Jazz Trio Layla’s, Jax
Excene Cervenka & the Original Sinners Jack
Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)
Yancy Clegg Culhane’s Irish Pub, Jax (249-9595)
Ralph E. & the Jammers Sun Dog Steak &
Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)
Ron Perry Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999)
Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828)
Marce Reefer’s, Jax (737-6300)
Peter Rowan Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473)
Steve Plays Too Loud London Bridge, Jax (359-0001)
The Driftwoods Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)
Porcelain Black French Quarter, Jax (732-9550)
Johnny Flood Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525)
Nimble Jim & the Ointment Brewsters, Jax (223-9850)
Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004)
Wes Cobb Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)
Cornerstone The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)
Big Engine Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837)
The Daileys Ragtime Tavern, Atlantic Beach (241-7877)
Ron Rodriguez Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299)
Little Green Men West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131)
De Lions of Jah Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453)
Sidewalk 65 Latitudes Café, Atlantic Beach
Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)
THURSDAY-SAT., DEC. 14-16
Shrimp City Slim A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977)
Blistur Rivers Edge, Fernandina Beach (491-3849)
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15
Not the Norm Monkey’s Uncle, Mandarin (260-1349)
Dana Salmela Cross Creek Restaurant, Jax
Dr. Stone & the Rock & Roll Chrome French
Quarter, Jax (732-9550)
Cliff Worrell & the Restless Kind Papagallos, St. Augustine
The Impediments Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)
Hoodrock Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488)
Nervous Dogs, Alligator Wacky Warehouse, St. Augustine
Tarantino Endo Exo, Jax (396-7733)
Dawn Patrol Culhane’s Irish Pub, Jax (249-9595)
22
december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
the sounds trains make
a hip happening at london bridge
by Rick gRant rickgrant01@comcast.net
Erik DeLuca’s one-man electronica band called
The Sounds Trains Make performed on the sidewalk
outside the London Bridge Pub. Simultaneously,
Derek Desislets performed a freestyle art project
on a large canvas. This avant garde performance
art was part of the Wednesday ArtWalk happening
around the city.
When I arrived at this beatnik be-in, Erik was
just setting up his keyboard and effects devices. He
also plays guitar with the orchestration he sets up on
his sampling keyboard. The music includes overlaid
narration of a woman telling a story. It’s somewhat
reminiscent of Frank Zappa’s famous album Uncle
Meat.
Yes, it’s out-there but mesmerizing, especially
watching Derek paint his art piece inspired by the
music. Although the music sounds like random
doodling, it does have a loose structure on which
Erik can improvise. He uses overlaid loops on which
he injects his guitar excursions and other sounds,
creating music that sounds like it could be the
soundtrack for some serious dramatic film scenario.
The large group of young people who had gathered
around Erik and Derek’s performance were very
curious about my presence there. They were asking
me many questions about how I heard about this
event, implying why someone of my vintage would
be there. But what they don’t realize is anything that
today’s young people can conjure up as new, has
been done before. In the Late 1960s and early 1970s
this type of experimental music was being played in
Central Park in New York City and San Francisco’s
many parks that hosted the hippie scene. The impromptu
gatherings were called be-ins or happenings.
They didn’t have today’s modern electronic
keyboards, but they used electric guitars and other
instruments as well as percussion.
As a senior journalist and former music producer,
I’ve always encouraged young people to go
outside consensus reality to experiment with new
forms and structures either in art or music. Of
course, Brian Eno and Philip Glass are the icons of
this genre and they have been influencing the purveyors
of this music for many years.
Erik is an UNF student studying video production.
Derek is also an UNF student. They both do this
type of avant-garde performance art any chance
they can get. It was perfect for the ArtWalk crowd
who made the London Bridge Pub their last stop to
have a few beers and enjoy the music and performance
art on the sidewalk.
Around town, there were many hip happenings
where art was displayed and music was heard.
The main venues were the Library where the Junior
League presented the Festival of Trees and Lights.
The Bryan Building Loft Gallery was presented by
the Hemming Plaza Jewelers with over 30 artists
displaying works in the Loft Gallery above the store.
Then, Downtown 101 was a one-hour course on
Downtown Jacksonville’s history beginning outside
the Main Library. At 9:00 pm was the official ArtWalk
After Party at the Twisted Martini, sponsored by Gala
Rouge Wine. And of course, simultaneously at 9:00
pm, the informal party at the London Bridge Pub,
which was the last stop for many of the walkers in
this unique event.
The First Wednesday ArtWalk was a smashing
success and I witnessed many people on the streets
participating. For a weekday night in Jacksonville,
which is normally dead as dirt, that was a remarkable
accomplishment and tribute to the organizers’
promotional efforts. This event and other citywide
entertainment happenings will help promote the inner-city
as a safe and hip place to go for nightlife.
There are new and exciting venues where cool things
are happening. Go to www.DowntownJacksonville.
org to find out more about the rise of downtown as
the hip place to party and live.

on the first day of christmas…
Christina Wagner and Rob Roy photo by Dennis Ho
Jack Rabbits’ Twelve Days of Christmas
by jon boswoRth jaxvillain@yahoo.com
Beginning on Monday December 18th Jack
Rabbits kicks off their annual Twelve Days of Christmas.
Jack Rabbits is known among local musicians
as the salvation of the local music scene. Before
Jack Rabbits opened, there were huge gaps of time
when there would be no clubs that would let original
bands play. When Jack Rabbits finally came around,
the music scene started to flourish. Of course it is
impossible to please everybody, and Jack Rabbits
has its share of bad blood in the music scene, for
the most part people that enjoy bands that aren’t big
enough to sell out the arena appreciate a club like
Jack Rabbits that brings great bands in. I couldn’t
begin to tell you how many great shows I’ve seen in
that smoky little room. From Modest Mouse to Yellowcard,
I’ve seen so many great shows there that it
even rivals Einstein’s in my memory.
To those musicians honest enough to admit
it to themselves, Jack Rabbits is the patriarch of
the local music scene. They cultivated a scene that
was starting to disappear after the Milk Bar and the
Moto Lounge closed back in the mid-nineties. Since
opening, owners Tim and Ann Hall have managed to
start a couple of annual trends. One is their Freedom
Rock show on the Fourth of July, where you can
expect to hear great local bands covering patriotic
songs of their own choosing, and the Twelve Days
of Christmas. You aren’t necessarily guaranteed a
Christmas carol, or even a gentile band, but the Halls
try to book Jacksonville’s best local bands during
(continued on page 24)
Dang!
Keith Foskey The Norm Bar, Jax (384-9928)
Tim Hazen High Tide Café, St. Augustine
Dot Wilder Jazz Trio Village Café, Jax (389-3995)
Roger That My Place, Jax (737-5299)
Empire Burrito Gallery, Jax (598-2922)
Nate Holley Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
Effed, Ambertone Bourbon Street, Jax (641-8777)
Dog & Pony Show The Landing, Jax
Cliff Worrell & the Restless Kind Papagallos, St. Augustine
Out of Season Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850)
Brad Payne All-Stars Sports Bar, St. Augustine (827-9842)
Too Many Shoes House of Jam, Mandarin (262-3377)
Synergy Brass Quintet Church of the Good
Shepherd, Jax
Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515)
Island Mood Duo River City Brewing Company, Jax
(398-2299)
Str8 Up Tom & Betty’s, Jax (387-3311)
Stu Weaver Outlet Mall, St. Augustine
Tropic of Cancer The Breaks, Atlantic Beach
Tumbleweed Club Fusion, St. Augustine (829-8333)
Mr. Natural Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775)
C5 Brewsters, Jax (223-9850)
Normal Town West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131)
Token Blonde Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837)
Chuck Nash Scarlett’s, St. Augustine (824-6535)
The Wainwrights Shannons Irish Pub, Jax
Matt Collins Pauly’s Pizza, Jax (727-9101)
Mortar, Inner Demons Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473)
Ace Winn Duo Copeland’s, Jax
Susie Kite Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)
Jerry Melfi, LoriAnn The Conch House, St.
Augustine (829-8646)
FRIDAY-SATURDAY, DEC. 15-16
Freeze Frame Cliff’s at the Beach, Atlantic Beach (249-2777)
Ruckus Cliff’s, Jax (645-5162)
Go Ask Alice Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999)
Crazy 88’s Dueling Pianos Ocean Club, Jax Beach
(242-8884)
Ghostrider Cheers, Mandarin (262-4337)
Motherload Cap’n Odie’s, Mayport (241-8848)
Wes Cobb Band Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach
(246-4293)
Ron Perry Casey’s Hideaway, Yulee
Don’t Tell Anne Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499)
The Company Ragtime Tavern, Atlantic Beach (241-7877)
Yankee Slickers Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181)
Driven Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611)
Livid Castaways, Mayport
Josh Bowlus Simon’s, Jax (396-8088)
Sax of Soul Bourbon Street, Jax (641-8777)
Quest Latitudes Café, Atlantic Beach
Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004)
‘3’ Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)
Lisa & the Mad Hatters Trade Winds Lounge, St.
Augustine (829-8646)
Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940)
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 23

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16
Kenhe The Tree Steakhouse, Atlantic Beach (241-5600)
Philler, Esther Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850)
Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828)
Soul Release-Fhena Boomtown, Jax (632-0099)
Payton Page Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
Shawn Fisher, Coda House of Jam, Mandarin (262-3377)
Nimble Jim & the Ointment Happy Stephano’s, Jax Beach
Drive Shafts The Landing, Jax
Higher Ground, String Theory French Quarter, Jax (732-9550)
Wild Card Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)
Bobby Flynn & Derek Coghlan Culhane’s Irish Pub,
Jax (249-9595)
Night Owls Box Seats, Orange Park
Blueground Undergrass Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473)
Big Engine Brewsters, Jax (223-9850)
Sly Poonce Fuel, Jax (425-3835)
The Natural Truth Atlantic Theatres, Atlantic Beach (249-PLAY)
York, Sophmore Attempt Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)
Lauren Finham Perks! Coffeehouse, Jax (388-6950)
Mike Shakelford The Homestead, Jax Beach (249-9660)
Roger That Your Place, Jax Beach (221-9994)
Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855)
McKenna Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837)
Paul Lundgren Cortesse’s, St. Augustine (825-6775)
Antiracist Fest Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488)
Eternal Students Frisky Mermaid, Fernandina Beach
(261-3300)
Nathan Holley Bukkets, Jax Beach (246-7701)
Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza Grill,
Jax (287-9900)
The Naked Lunch Shannon’s Irish Pub, Jax
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 17
Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471-5555)
Jan Crawford & Friends Cortesse’s Flamingo, St.
Augustine (825-6775)
‘3’ Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221)
David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
El Toro Loco Mark’s Downtown, Jax (355-5099)
Big Engine Reni’s Rooster, Jax (880-1111)
Jager Dave Monkey’s Uncle, Mandarin (260-1349)
John Waters Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198)
Call To Preserve Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488)
The Driftwoods Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)
Normal Town Ragtime, Atlantic Beach (241-7877)
Liquid Limbs Inertia, Jax (355-6210)
Chris Mucci Sun Cruz, Mayport
3rd Bass w/Von Barlow The Casbah, Jax (981-9966)
John Thomas Group Shelby’s Coffee, Atlantic
Beach (249-5182)
B.E.A.M., 20 Wt., Shawn Fisher Freebird Live, Jax
Beach (246-2473)
Dave Massey Monkey’s Uncle, Mandarin (260-1349)
Vagabond’s Dream The Sandollar, Jax (251-3001)
The Manti Club Fusion, St. Augustine (829-8333)
MONDAY, DECEMBER 18
Aerial Tribe Square One, Jax (306-9004)
24 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
(twelve days of christmas... continued from page 23)
Dan mcLintock,
of sensei
this event.
When you catch a show at Jack Rabbits you
can’t always count on the band being specifically
your tastes. On any given night you could be listening
to a metal, punk, or hip-hop group, so make sure
you check their schedule before you head out. Also
make sure that you know the time. On weeknights, if
they say the show starts at eight, it will start at eight
and if you show up at eight thirty, you are very likely
to miss the first band.
Any local musician will also tell you that Jack
Rabbits has the best sound of any local room. They
always have a professional sound technician that
works with the band (unlike Freebird where the
sound technicians seem to work against the bands)
and they convey a great mix in the small room. Although
it often seems too loud, that is usually what
the band wants.
Some bands to look for during the Twelve
Days of Christmas include the hard-rock-indie of
(Schwa)Ray. Although they may bill themselves as
math rock, they have more of a radio rock feel. I
haven’t heard them since their most recent lineup
change, but they are worth a listen. (Schwa)Ray
plays with Man Size Rat on December 20th.
Jacksonville locals-gone-New York, Orange
Park, will bring their peculiar breed of pop-rock to
Jack Rabbits on December 22nd with Sensei. See
our interview with this band in this issue for more
details about them. On December 23rd it will be
beginning to feel a lot like metal when Dummo takes
the stage. Joining them are the radio rockers Manna
Zen and Down Theory.
Take Christmas Eve off and come back for
a quiet acoustic Christmas with the gorgeous and
talented Christina Wagner and a number of other
acoustic acts. Christina’s set is always heartwrenching
and a little erotic. She can’t help that,
what her stylish beauty doesn’t do for you, her
exotic voice certainly will. She isn’t girl folk, she has
strength and intent behind her music.
On December 28th the Twelve Days celebration
goes street with four of Jacksonville’s hottest
hip-hop acts on one stage. The ABs (pronounced
the A-Bees) formerly known as Asamov, take the
stage and set this small room on fire. If you are not
familiar with Willie Evans Jr, Therapy, Basic, and
J-One-Da, then get ready. This is hip-hop as good
as you will find anywhere in the US performed by
true musicians, and when it comes to the show,
they don’t slack. Like B-Boys that hail back to the
old pass-the-mic days of hip-hop, these guys aren’t
your street-gangster-gone-rappers. They make their
beats, then they make the most of them live. They
are joined by Astronautilus, the trip-hoppin Rob Roy,
who is a one-man-show in his own right, and the
crunk sounds of Swordz. All of these groups are on
the cusp of big things, national attention, and major
success, so catch them in this rare intimate setting
while you can.
On December 29th Dang! and Hand of the
Host will bring the rock back into the club. Dang! is
a power-rock band that will make you get up, get
down, get up off of your seat. Like the Jon Spencer
Blues Explosion getting chased around with guns in
the hands of a drunk Lynyrd Skynyrd, Dang! makes
you have fun, or else. They are joined by the sometimes
raw crooning blues of Hand of the Host. This
band is fronted by Jacksonville songwriter of Common
Thread fame Joe Parker, and he is backed by a
full-scale four-piece band of skilled musicians. They
play it sloppy by choice, but this is far from their first
rodeo.
DeCembeR 18
The Radio Shag, Effed, Lost Kaos, The Pinstripes,
Good Fortune, Good Journey
DeCembeR 19
Whaleface, I Love U, Fidelity Crisis, Madison
Fadeout, Lost By Victory
DeCembeR 20
Esther , The Picture Show, (Schwa)Ray, Man
Sized Rat
DeCembeR 21
Deadstar Assembly, Dr. Stone & The RNR
Chrome, Rubbing Down Debbie, String Theory
DeCembeR 22
Orange Park, Sensei, Matlock, Parade The City
DeCembeR 23
Manna Zen, Callous, Devereux, Down Theory,
Dummo
DeCembeR 25 - ACoustiC XmAs i
The Embraced, Gunwitch, Christina Wagner,
Bobby Amaru
DeCembeR 26
The Saddest Thing, Sly Poonce
DeCembeR 27
Chris McCarty Band, No More Kings, Yancey
Clegg, Caution Children
DeCembeR 28
The ABs, Astronautalis, Swordz, Rob Roy
DeCembeR 29
Dang!, Dash Rip Rock, Hand of the Host,
Honey Culture, Rhinestone Corrina
DeCembeR 30 - ACoustiC XmAs ii
Burn Season, The Neverland Symphony, Evolemo,
Autumn Effect

orange park goes international
New york’s Orange Park comes home for the holidays
by jon boswoRth jaxvillain@yahoo.com
WhAt: orange Park, sensei, matlock and Parade
the City
WheRe: Jack Rabbits
When: Friday, December 22
My most vivid memory of the band Orange
Park was from the Battle of the Bands at Middleburg
High School in the early to mid nineties. They were
called Lysergic Garage Party back then and no one
that was in the band actually attended the school.
My friend’s father, Artimus Pyle, was one of
the judges for the event, so we rode out to the show
with him. During the set, I was standing next to Artimus
discussing how different Lysergic Garage Party
was from the Middleburg-metal and punk bands.
Someone asked what “lysergic” meant and Artimus
turned to explain that ‘lysergic’ was the ‘L’ in LSD.
As he explained this, he was licking some sort of
breath-freshener that consisted of a wand that he
dipped into a vial before rubbing it on his tongue.
Everyone around heard the bearded, ex-Lynyrd Skynyrd
drummer talking about LSD and thought he had
relapsed into his glory days.
“Lysergic Garage party worked when we were
in high school taking LSD on stage, or when Harv
wore dresses and Tampons in his hair, but after a
while we just wanted to take things a bit more seriously
and have the name sort of represent what
we’re all about,” said one of the singer, guitarist,
songwriters for Orange Park, Justin Moore.
Justin is one of the three Moores in Orange
Park, and his answers to my interview questions
were condescending and pretentious, so for the remainder
of this article I will only include Jeff Moore’s
quotes. Jeff and Justin Moore both play guitar and
sing, while their cousin Jay Moore plays drums and
Harv plays bass.
“For the past few months we have been working
on our new album with Shannon Ferguson from
the sixth o.c. mix
album review
3 stARs out of 5
Artist: various
title: Covering Our Tracks
The sixth O.C. Mix Covering Our Tracks is
somewhat similar to the fourth season the O.C. has
been having. They’re both nothing new or exciting,
but just a strange and sort of boring attempt to
recreate the magic that once made the O.C. pure
primetime television gold. The album is a compilation
of covers of songs that were previously featured
on the O.C. mixes or on the show. It’s in an
indie rock style that most of the O.C. mix listeners
from before can relate to, and other indie rock fans
could appreciate.
It’s got an eclectic mix of artists that give a
new life to many of the songs. Although most of
the band Longwave. All of the tracking is
complete and we are currently in the mixing
process.”
We can expect Jacksonville’s native
superstar producer, Pete Thornton, to put
his stamp on the album by being a part of
the mixing and mastering. Orange Park’s
last album, Songs from the Unknown, was
produced by Thornton and released on Young American
Recordings. After putting together a demo and
getting some ink in the New York Times, they worked
hard and toured until their popularity in Japan turned
some heads and ultimately got them a record deal.
The more cynical critics from the old school
scene liken Orange Park’s new sound to Hanson,
while most compare it to Ben Harper or Matthew
Sweet. The poppy ‘Make Up Your Mind’ has a video
and, if you have an Xbox, you may have heard it in
the video game Saint’s Row.
eu: How hard was it to get into the scene in New
York when you first arrived?
Jm: It took a little while to figure out where the better
places to play were. As far as getting into the scene
we met up with a few bands and just started doing
shows with them and before long people started to
take notice.
eu: What inspired the name change from Lysergic
Garage Party (or just Lysergic) to Orange Park?
Jm: No one could ever remember Lyser... I don’t
even have the patience to type it. We decided to
name the band something simple that represented
where we came from, so a friend suggested Orange
Park.
eu: Would you have been able to achieve the same
level of success from Jacksonville that you have
from New York?
Jm: No.
the music is never heard on the actual show, it’s got
the style of the music that is typically featured on the
O.C. Many of the artists on Covering Our Tracks are
also played on the show.
Unfortunately, many of the songs come out
a little awkward and have gone in the wrong direction.
The most disappointing of the tracks would
definitely be the cover of the show’s classic song,
“California,” performed by the Mates of States. It’s
got a sad, depressing feel to the already mellow,
slow song. Indie favorites, such as Modest Mouse’s
“Float On”, the Pixie’s “Debaser”, and the Killer’s
“Smile Like You Mean It”, are given a new feel and
a whole new direction. The popular songs being
covered have a familiar appeal; some of the lesser
known songs make the album dull.
Lady Sovereign pretty much makes the Sex
Pistol’s “Pretty Vacant” her own, with some Joan
Jett-punk-rock style to it. And Syd Matter takes Super
Furry Animal’s “Hello Sunshine,” featured on the
O.C. mix volume two, into a haunting wispy version.
The M’s are almost exactly replicating the Clinic’s
“Come Into Our Room”.
Previous O.C. mixes have done their own covers,
but among a mix of other new releases. The old
direction of the mixes gave the albums a little more
variety than Covering Our Tracks does. The previous
volumes also kept the variety of song tempos,
creating a perfect blend of songs to be featured on
a compilation. Covering Our Tracks does this, but
eu: Is Justin still crazy?
Jm: Yes
eu: Has New York turned you all into Fashion Rockers
yet?
Jm: No.
eu: Have you ever gotten into a knife fight with The
Strokes?
Jm: Yes.
eu: Where is the record selling the best?
JM: I’d say the East coast, and mostly the West
coast, and also the Mid West, and the North and
South are doing well.
eu: What can we expect from your homecoming
show?
Jm: Tons of new songs. Good times. Pyrotechnics
and booze.
eu: You’re music seems to have moved drastically
away from the Superchunkish indie rock it was back
in the day and toward something more pop, what
inspired the new direction, commercial viability or a
shift in influence?
Jm: I’d say a shift in influence had something to do
with it. But you can expect a bit more of our earlier
sound in the new material.
eu: Who is your favorite Jacksonville band? (Currently
living here, or from here.)
Jm: Lynyrd Skynyrd.
eu: How have you all managed to stay together with
the same lineup for so long?
Jm: Good question. I have no idea. Because we’re
insane?
without too many really strong songs that stick out
to the listener.
The O.C. mixes have somewhat evolved with
time. The first and second were simliar and were
a nice collection of all the hot new indie artists to
hit mainstream culture. The holiday-themed third
volume was almost all covers of favorite holiday
classics, making it the most similar to Covering
Our Tracks. The forth and fifth volumes stayed true
to the big name indie music artists such as Sufjan
Stevens, Rogue Wave, and Modest Mouse.
The O.C. season this year is dull in the highest
sense, sort of similar to this soundtrack. It’s
trying to use the old and familiar formula for success,
and falls somewhat short. If you like the
O.C., it’s still the O.C., but without Marissa something
was ultimately lost. I mean it definitely keeps
the “O.C. Mix” feel, but as an album on its own, it
stands somewhat weak. Some of the more successful
tracks, such as Rogue Wave’s “Debaser”
and Tally Hall’s “Smile Like You Mean It” make the
album worth checking out.
For all die-hard O.C. mix fans or show fans,
the album will do you well. For musically curious,
compilation seekers, give Covering Our Tracks a
shot, but it might not be the best volume of the
O.C. mixes to try first. Maybe if we’re faithful to our
O.C. mixes as we try to be with this fourth season,
we’ll see some of the O.C. greatness we used to
love. - bY moRGAn henLeY
Billy Bowers Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune
Beach (241-8221)
Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)
Goliath Flores The Casbah, Jax (981-9966)
The Radio Shag, Effed Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)
Charlie Walker Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
Endwell, Ithaca Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488)
Dan Potthast, Danka Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850)
Sam Pacetti The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)
Johnny Flood My Place, Jax (737-5299)
Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765)
Little Green Men Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181)
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19
Erik Wink Spare Time Grille, Jax Beach (246-8099)
Second String Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune
Beach (241-8221)
Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646)
Ace Winn Duo Copeland’s, Jax (998-4414)
Shawn Fisher Buffalo’s, Orange Park (778-1101)
Christina Wagner & Friends Mark’s Downtown, Jax
(355-5099)
Pier Dance-BayStreet Casa Marina, Jax Beach
Silver Lake Drive Cortesse’s, St. Augustine (825-6775)
Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)
Whaleface, Fidelity Crisis Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)
Bill Rice Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
Blistur Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837)
We Speak Fuel, Jax (425-3835)
Jimmy Solari My Place, Jax (737-5299)
Chuck Nash Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499)
Seth Ramsdill Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)
El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004)
Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143)
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 20
The Hackers Cortesse’s, St. Augustine (825-6775)
The Cover Band Spare Time Grille, Jax Beach (246-8099)
Glass Camels Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884)
Esther, The Picture Show Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496)
Teddy Washington Brix, Jax Beach
Jimmy Parrish Fast Boys #210, Jax
Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299)
Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004)
Crystal Stafford, Aerial Tribe Starlite Café, Jax (356-4444)
Mike Howard Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113)
Narcotic Nation Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850)
Conrad Oberg London Bridge, Jax (359-0001)
Stu Weaver The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329)
Clyde Mannael Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)
Jessica Pounds The Casbah, Jax
Gutterboy Snookers, Jax (696-0714)
Yellow Crystal Star Yesterday’s, Jax (387-0502)
Seth Ramsdill Ragtime Tavern, Atlantic Beach (241-7877)
Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143)
Go Ask Alice River City Brewing Company, Jax
(398-2299)
The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396-3396)
El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525)
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 25

Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune
Beach (241-8221)
Cloud 9 Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499)
Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293)
Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737-5299)
upcoming shows
orange Park Dec. 22, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496
Derek trucks and susan tedeschi Dec. 27, Florida Theatre,
355-2787
the Wailers Dec. 28, Freebird Live, 246-2473
Doodlebops Dec. 28, Times Union Center, 633-6110
mofro Dec. 29-31, Freebird Live, 246-2473
Rev. billy Wirtz, Gunga Din Jan. 13, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311
Rod stewart Jan. 13, Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena,
630-3900
eric Johnson Jan. 13, Freebird Live, 246-2473
styx Jan. 14, 2007, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
Galactic Jan. 14, Freebird Live, 246-2473
John mayer Jan. 25, Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena,
630-3900
bill Gaither and Friends Jan. 26, Veterans Memorial Arena,
630-3900
Corey smith Jan 26, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
murder by Death Jan. 28, Freebird Live, 246-2473
Los Lonely boys Feb. 1, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
Willie nelson Feb. 6, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
billy Joel Feb. 7, Veterans Memorial Arena, 353-3309.
Joe bonamassa Feb. 9, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
Kris Kristofferson and Rosanne Cash Feb. 25, Florida
Theatre, 355-2787
Catie Curtis Feb. 25, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311
michael Franks March 1, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
Kathleen madigan March 6, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
the new orleans Jazz orchestra March 9, Florida Theatre,
355-2787
John Gorka, sam Pacett March 9, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311
the beach boys March 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
the temptations and the Four tops March 18, Florida
Theatre, 355-2787
tom Rush March 22, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311
Anoushka shankar March 23, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
Leo Kottke March 29, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
tom Jones April 9, Florida Theatre, 355-2787
JUST ANNOUNCED
JAmie FoXX, A Night of Comedy & Music, The Times Union
Center , Jan. 31, tickets available on ticketmaster.com
26 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
the story of a macy’s
christmas elf
David Sedaris’ SantaLand Diaries
performed live
by jon boswoRth jaxvillain@yahoo.com
What: Live theatre: santaLand Diaries
Where: museum of modern Art, Jacksonville (Formerly
JmomA)
When: Dec. 19, 20 and 21 7:30 p.m.
“Worse than applying for a job as an elf, is the
very real possibility of not getting the job.”
Jacksonville actor and playwright Ian Mairs
performs a sardonic one-man show about being
an elf in the New York Macy’s. If you’ve never read
anything by David Sedaris, Ian Mairs’ one-man
performance of the The SantaLand Diaries is a great
way to discover him. David Sedaris is a humorist,
author, and sometimes NPR personality. His dry take
on everyday life is always hilarious.
From Barrel Fever through Dress My Family
in Denim and Corduroy, Sedaris’ books read like a
conversation with that catty gay friend that keeps
you laughing. He is the gayer, thinner, wittier Garrison
Keilor. His SantaLand Diaries was initially a radio
essay that aired on the NPR show Morning Edition.
It was this essay that earned him the popularity that
started his career as a humorist.
The Sedaris family is a strange sort of celebrity
family. Not a celebrity family in the Baldwin or Arquette
sense, but more of an avant-garde New York
celebrity family. Although they grew up in Raleigh,
North Carolina, David and his sister, Amy Sedaris,
have found a great deal of success in New York.
Most of David’s books end up on the New
York Times Best Seller list, and Amy has had
a successful television and movie career, not
to mention her own success as a writer. She
recently released a humorous book about entertaining,
but before that she wrote television
with Steven Colbert on Strangers with Candy,
has a regular advice column in Believer magazine,
and even runs a popular cupcake and
cheeseball company from her home in the
city. David and Amy have also written a number
of plays together under the pen name “The
Talent Family.”
The Santaland Diaries is one of David Sedaris’
satirical takes on the Christmas season (and if you
like it, you should check out his book Holidays on
Ice). SantaLand Diaries was adapted for the stage in
1998 by Joe Montello, and Ian Mairs has been perfecting
his Sedaris by performing it for the last four
Christmases.
Mairs is hilarious. His performance doesn’t
miss a single note of the sarcasm laid thickly into
this tale of an average cynic that takes on the role
of one of Santa’s elves. Mairs plays Crumpet, this
is the name Sedaris was assigned when he became
one of Santa’s Little Helpers, and finding the Christmas
spirit is a humorous struggle for this particular
elf. While he has fantasies of meeting his soap opera
heroes and even about his role as Crumpet being the
beginning of his daytime drama career, the funniest
moments are the insights that The SantaLand Diaries
provides on the ridiculous things we do for holiday
traditions, as well as the ridiculous people humans
can be, especially in Macy’s at Christmas.
From his hilarious take on ethnic Santas to the
moving moment when he meets a Santa that might
just be the real thing, Mairs’ portrayal of Sedaris is
not only spot-on, but the magic of the season might
have snuck into the one-man-show. Somehow it
did this without derailing the whimsical mood or the
sarcastic tone.
Ian Mairs performs this play annually on behalf
of the Oasis Theater Studio. If you like what you see,
you should look into being part of the Oasis Theater
Studio. In addition to general acting classes, they
put on or take part in a large number of live theatre
events around town, so if the stage isn’t for you,
support a production or volunteer in other capacities.
Ian is a critical part of the group, and judging by his
decision to maintain this “twisted holiday tradition,”
as he said to the Times-Union, you can count on
Oasis to put together performances that step outside
of the traditional view.
The performances of The SantaLand Diaries
sell out almost every year, so if you call the museum
and are unable to get tickets to either of the performances
at the Jacksonville Museum of Modern Art,
then you can catch it at the Atlantic Beach Experimental
Theatre on December 22nd and 23rd at 8
p.m.

jewtopia
the chosen book for the chosen people
by dick kerekes dickkerekes@yahoo.com
Want an idea for a fantastic Christmas present?
How about a couple of airline tickets to New York, a
hotel room and tickets to the three year hit comedy
Jewtopia?
Too rich for your pocketbook? The next best
idea is a new book entitled Jewtopia that has been
specially marked down for you from $ 25.00 to
24.99!!!
Why should you buy this book? First it was
written by a Jacksonville native, Sam Wolfson, with
his artistic partner Bryan Fogel. They also wrote the
very successful play, and appeared in the leading
roles in over 1,000 performances in Los Angeles
and in New York. They still occasionally do the play
but they have been busy writing this book and negotiating
the movie rights to Jewtopia. The play has
been running for three years to packed houses, and
show no signs of slowing down any time soon. I
saw it in the opening year and reviewed it for Entertaining
U.
I know your first question is: WHAT IS THE
PLAY ABOUT? It is the story of a gentile who wanted
to marry a Jewish girl so he will never have to make
another decision. In the play Sam teaches Bryan
how to be Jewish with hilarious results.
IS THE BOOK DIFFERENT THAN THE PLAY?
Yes, it could be called the ultimate guide to Judaism,
presented in a farcical and irreverent style. It has lots
of illustrations and pictures, always good in our visually
oriented society, and they are funny!
IS THE BOOK FUNNY? Yes, it is possibly the
funniest I have ever read, and I know it is the most
humorous book I have ever purchased at a cost of
about eleven cents per page (there are 214 of them).
I feel I must qualify funny. If you liked the movie
“Borat” or you enjoy going to comedy clubs, watching
The Early Show, Steven Colbert, or Saturday
Night Live then you will absolutely go wild about
Jewtopia. It is not a suitable gift for everyone, as it
has a lot of profanity and sexual situations.
DO YOU HAVE TO BE JEWISH TO ENJOY IT?
No, but you will learn a lot, as you laugh, and you
may want to Google the facts if you are buying the
book strictly for information, as Sam and Bryan have
played fast and loose with a lot of information.
I am sure you have heard of the plays “Nunsense
and Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really
Reflect Up, both have been very popular shows over
the years, and they are mainly about Catholics, but
at least half of the audiences are made up of non-
Catholics. I rest my case, you could
love it, no matter what you are or what
planet you are from.
I, though, was just going to sit
down and read this book from cover
to cover, but I found it is better to pick
and choose a different topic for a few
minutes each day. One of my favorite
features is Phone Conversations with
Jewish Mothers which has eight sections
throughout the book. They are
conversations the authors Sam and Bryon actually
had with their mothers. I have read all of these and I
loved them.
The book covers such diverse topics as Jewish
Guide to Life (from Bar Mitzvahs to Bowels) and
Jewish Foods (do you know what gefilte fish really
is?) It even has a final exam on the last couple of
pages. (I have not taken it yet, I am still studying.)
This book has found a permanent place in my
residence. I keep in it the porcelain room, for ready
reference when I need a laugh to brighten my day.
The authors spent sixteen months working with
artists and other creative people to create a unique
book that deserves a place on every coffee table,
especially if you like to have interesting conversations
with your guests.
Jewtopia is available at all the major book-
beaches
nutcracker
A new pair of shoes and a hot meal
will be provided to an orphan in India for
every ticket purchased to see The Beaches
Nutcracker. The East Coast Ballet, along
with dancers from Shoshanna Arts, Let’s
Dance, Dace Mania, Nancy Dance & Polly
B’s, have joined with the non-profit “I-58
projects” to make this holiday ballet not
only special for the beaches, but special
across the ocean.
Mindi Mende, Artistic Director of the
East Coast Ballet, feels confident that this
partnership will be a success. “I-58 is an
organization dedicated to raising orphaned
children in India, where children are abandoned
for being the wrong gender or for
any type of small ailment. Because the
Nutcracker is about childhood memories,
we wanted to give a good memory to a
less fortunate child. This talented cast of
65 is greatly motivated, knowing that their
dancing will leave an impact on these little
lives. Each audience member, by coming
and being entertained this holiday
season, will be helping to provide these
children with a pair of shoes and a hot
meal!“ More information on this unique
organization can be found at www.i58projects.org.
The Beaches Nutcracker has been
moved to Fletcher High School. “The
Fletcher Auditorium seats approximately
950 people. We are excited to be in the
beautifully renovated theatre and have the
stores. You can get more information by putting the
title into any Internet search engine. Or, if I have not
convinced you to buy this book as a present, why
don’t you call Bryan Fogel’s mother Linda at (303)
575-1388 or Sam Wolfson’s mother Arlene at (904)
346-1146 and let them persuade you. They welcome
your comments about the show in New York, if you
have had the chance to see it, or your own review of
the book after you read it. These numbers are REAL,
and on the back of the book. (Yes, they will call you
back, honest!)
I caught up with Sam and his mother Arlene
at the Barnes and Noble Bookstore book signing in
Mandarin. That was a big success and I now believe
everything is the book is true! (Well almost). They
convinced me that it is a chosen book for special
people!!
opportunity to touch the lives of so many this
Christmas.”
The Beaches’ Nutcracker show will be
held on December 16 at 7 p.m. The show
includes dozens of local performers of all
ages sharing their talents as classical ballet
dancers, musicians, vocalists, and more. To
purchase tickets, please contact East Coast
Ballet at 241-1266.
culture & arts
DECEMBER
14 Holiday Hoopla For Adults Cummer Museum, Jax
14-16 “A Tuna Christmas?” Players By the Sea, Jax Beach
14-16 Fruits of the Spirit Art Show Bethel Gallery, Ponte Vedra
14-16 EB Scrooge” A Southern Fried Carol Theatre
Jacksonville, Jax
14-16 Comedian Adam Ace Atlantic Theatres, Atlantic Beach
14-17 FCCJ Artist Series “Menopause The Musical”
Performing Arts Center, Jax
14-20 Precious Objects Exhibition Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra
14-24 “Christmas Carole” The Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax
14-24 “Every Christmas Story Ever Told! Shakespeare Festival
UCF, Orlando
14-31 Visit With Santa Claus Adventure Landing, Jax Beach & Jax
14-31 Grossology Exhibition MOSH, Jax
14-JAN. 1 Plaza Ice Palace Downtown Community Plaza, Gainesville
14-JAN. 1 Exhibit: Small Packages Block 27 Gallery, Jax
14-JAN. 7 Bloom: Paintings and Constructions by Luis Cruz
Azaceta JMOMA, Jax
14-JAN. 7 Holiday Planetarium Programs MOSH, Jax
14-JAN. 7 “Greetings! Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine
14-JAN. 14 “Christmas Presence” Shades of Grace Artists
Presbyterian Church, Ponte Vedra
15 Holiday Sounds-Riverside Fine Arts Series Church of the
Good Shepherd, Jax
15 How To use Plants For the Holidays Duval County Extension
Service, Jax
15-16 Florida Ballet “The Nutcracker” Florida Theatre, Jax
15-16 “Greetings!” First Coast Theatre, Jax
15-17 JSO “Holiday Pops” Performing Arts Center, Jax
16 Rusty Evans in A Johnny Cash Holiday Tribute Thrasher
Horne Center, Orange Park
16 The Cracked Nut Flagler Auditorium, Palm Coast
16 Home for the Holidays-JSO Performing Arts Center, Jax
16 Art Adventures-Card Making Cummer Museum, Jax
16 The Children’s Christmas Party of Jacksonville Prime
Osborn Center, Jax
16 A Johnny Cash Holiday Tribute Thrasher Horne Center,
Orange Park
16 Soul Release Poetry Boomtown, Jax
16 Annual Living Nativity “The Perfect Gift” Holy Family
Catholic Church, Jax
16 FCCJ Artist Series-Big Band Broadcast FCCJ Wilson
Center, Jax
16 Beaches Nutcracker Benefit Fletcher High School
Auditorium, Jax Beach
17 JSO Sounds of the Season Performing Arts Center, Jax
17 First Coast Clarinet Society Concert Main Library, Jax
17 Hip Hop & Gospel Youth Ministry holiday Celebration
Wyndham Riverwalk, Jax
18-JAN 5 Holiday Zoo Camp For Children Jax Zoo, Jax
19 9 th Annual Jacksonville Beach Pier Dance Benefit Casa
Marina, Jax Beach
20-21 “The Santaland Diaries” Oasis Theatre MOCA, Jax
21 JSO-Christmas With Clay Aiken Performing Arts Center, Jax
21 An Artful Celebration Cummer Museum, Jax
21-JAN. 29 FAB Fest: Future Artists of the Beaches Cummer
Museum, Jax
22-23 “Santaland Diaries” ABET, Atlantic Beach
22-MAR. 18 Temples and Tombs: Treasures of Egyptian Art
Cummer Museum, jax
27-29 Holiday Camps MOSH, Jax
27-31 Camp Bike 06 Jane Macon Middle School, GA
31 “Murder on the Happy Trail” Dave & Buster’s, Jax
31 New Year’s Eve Celebration/Parade Downtown, Jax
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 27

31 Beach Blast Off 2007-Fireworks & Chili Cook Off The Pier,
St. Augustine Beach
31 Noon Year’s Eve w/Radio Disney Jax Zoo, Jax
31-FEB. 17 “The Makeover Murders” Professor Plum’s
Playhouse, Jax
JANUARY
3-5 Holiday Camps MOSH, Jax
4-6 JSO “Beethovan’s Emperor” Performing Arts Center, Jax
5 Saturday Night Reunion Tour-Joe Piscopo, Victoria Jackson,
Father Guido Sarducci Flagler Auditorim, Palm Coast
5 2 ½ Days in Genesis Featuring Suzzette Solano The Art
Center, Jax
5-27 “Rumors” Orange Park Community Theatre, Orange Park
6 Jane Austin Society Meeting European Street, Jax
6 Sanctuary Tour/Nightime Feeding Catty Shack Wildlife Ranch, Jax
6 Story Time-Meet The Author “Ocean Commotion” Barnes &
Noble/San Jose, Jax
8 UNF String Competition Winner in Recital UNF, Jax
10-FEB. 4 “King Lear” Shakespeare Festival UCF, Orlando
11 FCCJ Artist Series-One Thousand and One Nights Performing
Arts Center, Jax
12 An Evening of Musical Song & Dance Thrasher Horne
Center, Orange Park
12 JSO “How Suite It Is!” Performing Arts Center, Jax
12 Ethel Merman’s Broadway Flagler Auditorium, Palm Coast
12 FCCJ Artist Series-Bulgarian State Opera Performing Arts
Center, Jax
12-13 Big Yard Sale Catty Shack Wildlife Ranch, Jax
12-27 “The Rainmaker” ABET, Atlantic Beach
12-27 “Leading Ladies” Theatre Jacksonville, Jax
12-MAR. 11 Celebrating Black Hisotry Exhibit MOSH, Jax
13 Auditions: Fat Pig 2pm ABET, Atlantic Beach
13 Auditions: Jacksonville Symphony Chorus 3:30pm JU Fine
Arts Building, Jax
13 JSO with Seven Nations Performing Arts Center, Jax
13 Science of the Circus MOSH, Jax
13-FEB. 24 Classes For Children-Drawing & Painting MOCA, Jax
14 Absolute Auction Catty Shack Wildlife Ranch, Jax
15 Auditions: Fat Pig 7pm ABET, Atlantic Beach
15 Martin Luther King, Jr. Day MOSH, Jax
15 Class: Traditional Oil Paintings with Sydney McKenna Cultural
Center, Ponte Vedra
16 “Music of Our Time” UNF, Jax
17 Ritz Chamber Players Performing Arts Center, Jax
17-18 FCCJ Artist Series-Golden Dragon Acrobats of China
FCCJ Wilson Center, Jax
18 Pulp Fiction Theatre Boomtown, Jax
18-20 “See How They Run” DASOTA, Jax
19 “Einstein Alive!” Theatreworks FCCJ Wilson Center, Jax
19-20 JSO “The Motown Experience” Performing Arts Center, Jax
20 Lecture Series: Lives of Objects-Artists and Patrons in Ancient
Egypt Main Library, Jax
21 JSO Family Series Performing Arts Center, Jax
22 Beaches Fine Arts Series-Joshua Bell Performing Arts Center, Jax
22 Brahms String Quartet & Clarinet Quintet UNF, Jax
23 Clarinet Virtuoso Guy Yehuda Library, Ponte Vedra Beach
23-28 “Sweet Charity” FCCJ Artist Series Performing Arts Center, Jax
25 “Rip Van Winkle” Theatreworks Florida Theatre, Jax
25 “I Can’t Stop Loving You-The Music of Ray Charles” UNF
Fine Arts Center, Jax
25 JSO “Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony” Performing Arts Center, Jax
26-28 13 th Annual Official Electric Football Super Bowl &
Convention Embassy Suites, Jax
26-APR. 8 Other Worlds: The Landscape in Contemporary Art
Museum of Contemporary Art, Jax
26-APR. 8 Second Skins: Sculptural Soundsuits & Tondos by
Nick Cave MOCA, Jax
28 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
thrash art
derek hess wishes he had a hammer
by jon bosworth jaxvillain@yahoo.com
The Gallery at Screen Arts is a gallery that
gives far more than this town deserves. They are
always showcasing world-class artists from all over
the country right alongside locals such as Mark
George and Ian Chase. St. Augustine might seem like
a drive, but when you walk into the modern art that
is Screen Arts, you will realize it was worth it.
And that’s before you even see the art.
Among the standards at Screen Arts seems
to be the showing of artists that are not classicly
trained and have a rock and roll element to their
work. Derek Hess is no exception to that standard.
Hess dropped out of art school and got work booking
for a club in his hometown of Cleveland, Ohio.
While most flyers for rock shows were being made
with graphics programs and computers, Hess decided
to make his the old fashioned way; he drew
them. It didn’t take long for his frenetic lines and
insightful approach to his subjects to garner him
some deserved attention.
Hess’ art has a gesture drawing style that creates
a jittery sketch that is alive and self-aware. He
usually focuses on characters, sometimes people
and sometimes animals, and his shaky repeating
lines give the character a sense of uncertain and
unfocused energy. Musicians such as Helmet, R.L.
Burnside, and more recently, Motion City Soundtrack
have grabbed on to that style and used it to represent
the kinetic ideal of their music.
Between a national feature in Newsweek in
1994 and some internationally released album covers,
Hess became nationally known and his work
was suddenly in demand. From drawing flyers for
shows he was promoting to seeing those very posters
framed in galleries, the transition must have been
intimidating.
In 2000 he did his first showing in Jacksonville
at a small home décor shop in San Marco. Je was
down-to-earth and unassuming. At the time he even
seemed a little taken aback by his celebrity status,
but to me he had not only designed, but created a
portrait of R.L. Burnside, a veritable blues legend.
Hess’ current show at Screen Arts, If I Had A
Hammer, continues his energetic and sometimes
quixotic tradition of art that feels alive with a pulse. It
isn’t happy shiny art, and that’s what makes it stand
out from other artists, and also what helped him
make the transition from band flyer art to gallery art.
This showing is going on at Screen Arts until the end
of January, so make the trip out to Saint Augustine’s
First Friday Art Walk on January 5th and catch this
excellent show along with Screen Arts’ permanent
collection of cutting-edge artists from here and
around the world.
Derek Hess said on his website of The Gallery
at Screen Arts: “My show at Screen Arts in St. Augustine
Florida was AWESOME! They run a tight ship
there, pro all the way, all bases covered, very nice.
Thanks go out to Rob DePiazza, the captain, he’s the
man. If you live in St. Augustine/Jacksonville consider
yourself lucky to have a place like that.”
Indeed he is correct, so go and see what it is
that everyone, world-class artists and everyday art
lovers, are talking about.

talk to me
jaguars vs. colts
by BRENTON CROZIER bdcrozier@gmail.com
Julie and Allen Moore
Commercials with Peyton Manning are an inescapable
part of television enjoyment, and it appears
that his acting activities have become so prevalent
that his football talents are suffering.
The golden quarterback of our age has put
his charisma behind endorsing credit cards, hawking
cell phones, and making Gatorade the preferred
beverage of impressionable fans across the land.
This huge amount of continued exposure is definitely
good for his bank account, but is it good for the Indianapolis
faithful?
Jaguar devotees Julie and Allen Moore are not
losing any sleep over Manning’s distractions. Julie
adamantly agreed with me that when juxtaposed
with 3 losses out of his last 4 games, his acting
career has been detrimental to his game. In fact, the
Moores are just sick and tired of seeing his face all
over their television screen.
Our conversation naturally progressed from
the commercial mayhem to the consumerism of
Christmas. Forced segue? You be the judge. I asked
Julie and Allen what their Christmas wish list this
year was. They thoughtfully expressed that they simply
wanted to spend the holiday with their family in
Colorado. Nothing makes you fonder of family than
good geography.
This heartwarming wish reminded me of the
most important aspects of the holiday season. However,
when asked if they would trade in their Colo-
rado trip for a Jaguars
Super Bowl appearance
this year, they answered
“Hell yeah” without
an ounce hesitation. I
guess we all have our
price.
While Maurice
Jones-Drew and Fred
Taylor were running a
track meet around Alltel
field, the Colts were
probably putting a good
run defense on the
top of their Christmas
list. The utter lack of
competition caused my
mind to wander further
into the concepts of
football being merely
a vehicle by which
commercials reach the
multitudes and the Christmas season that cannot be
separated from capitalistic endeavors. Have we all
lost our way like Peyton?
I waded through the fans and bumped into my
good friends Donnie and Jamie Dusinberre right
outside of the Bud Zone. We discussed these various
issues while quenching our thirst with ice-cold
Pepsis. The conversation turned to the competing
number 18 Reebok jerseys; that of Matt Jones and
Peyton Manning respectively. We were distracted by
the Winn-Dixie check mascot on the scoreboard, but
quickly snapped back to the conversation at hand.
After reminiscing about old times and chatting
about the types of things that friends chat about, we
parted ways to go back to our seats. It was from the
comfort of my press box seat that I witnessed the
Colts get flattened and realized that commercial entities
aren’t always so bad. Let’s get down to brass
tacks, without the Budweiser and Reebok paraphernalia
adorning the stadium, we wouldn’t have a cool
place to meet with friends, enjoy great weather, pay
an arm and a leg if you’re thirsty enough and raise
our hands for fantastic football.
So let us raise our pricey Budweiser to Peyton
Manning and his affinity for being in front of the
camera. And of course, raise them to the Jaguars,
who make the football fellowship so much sweeter
when they win so big.
Random thoughts from a cluttered mind...
THE
JOCK
BY: TOM WEPPEL
JAGUARS
To me, its amazing how much different people
feel after a Jaguars victory, as opposed to a Jaguars
loss.
When the Jags win, total euphoria and happiness
reigns. The team is great, the players are great,
the coach and QB are the best, and the team is going
all the way. After a loss, though, we hear that everyone
should be fired and the team should start from
scratch. And people, I’m NOT joking!
Should I now state that people are simply overreacting?
I think fans need to become a little more
tolerant of the situation and look at the ‘big picture’
with a lot more focus. There’s no need to call out the
entire franchise after a loss. Meanwhile, it is indeed
nice to see people celebrating after a win, but we
don’t need parades!
So now, Jacksonville travels to Nashville to take
on Jeff Fisher and those evil Titans. When Tennessee
came here earlier in the season, Jacksonville laid a
37-7 bludgeoning on them. The Titans will certainly
have that in the back of their minds when they come
out to play. Factor in Tennessee having won their last
four games, and we know that this could be a very
dangerous opponent for the Jags. It will certainly be
a challenging contest. We shall see what happens.
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE
There are certainly some interesting contests
this weekend, and many of them have playoff implications,
without question.
In the NFC East, the Cowboys surprisingly only
have a one-game lead on the Giants and Eagles.
Dallas will face a tough Falcon squad on Saturday
evening, while Philadelphia and New York will tangle
on Sunday in the Meadowlands. That should be an
interesting match up.
The struggling Carolina Panthers will host
the Steelers, who have assumed the role of
the underdog, now that they are out of the
playoff hunt. Carolina has lost more games
this season because of their defensive play,
which is odd, considering the coaching
background of head coach John Fox.
In the AFC, the Jets, Chiefs, and Broncos
all lost last week, while the Bengals won
to keep pace with the Jags. Cincinnati now
goes to Indy to face a Colts team that is
strongly looking for a victory. The Chiefs
will have a hard time in San Diego, while the
Broncos mustn’t overlook a Cardinal squad
that beat Seattle last week.
This all will make for another unpredictable
weekend, as we all have seen so far, in the
National Football League.
NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION
As of Wednesday, Allen Iverson was still a
member of the Philadelphia 76ers. You can make all
the observations you wish on this situation. Some
believe there aren’t many teams that can handle his
exorbitant salary. Also, there are only a few teams in
which Iverson is willing and interested in playing for.
I think a lot of this should’ve been taken care of before
it was all announced. Iverson should’ve realized
the limited number of options in line for his services.
Now, if this deal drags on for another week or so,
we’re gonna hear how nobody wants Allen Iverson.
Would he be able to go back and play for the Sixers
again? I think not.
Earlier this week, NBA Commissioner David
Stern announced that the league decided to go back
to using a leather basketball for games, as opposed
to the new microfiber ball made by Spalding. To
me, this has been a crazy deal from the beginning.
Were the leather balls becoming outdated? Its not
like players were complaining about the leather balls
before. Also, players weren’t given a chance to test
the new products to see if they were worthy of professional
play.
When the season began, a number of guys
hated the newer balls because they weren’t bouncing
the same as the leather ones. They were also receiving
numerous cuts and abrasions to their hands and
fingers.
So now, the NBA is reluctantly retreating in their
push to come out with promoting this new product.
And it’s funny how we aren’t hearing any fans complaining
whatsoever.
Tom Weppel talks trash on Thursdays from 7-8
p.m. on WIOJ-AM 1010, and on SportsAvengers.
com 24/7.
eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 29

nascar news & notes
by RICHARD TEAGUE TINyNASCARS@yahoo.com
Sí Hablo NASCAR. Hola mis amigos, bey usted
no tiene ninguna idea en cuanto a lo que digo hágale?
Bien hago no cualquier Bubbas y Bubbets. Usted
mejor le obtiene U a ello porque el artículo estará en
Espanol. Si usted cree que entonces usted puede
cabalgar mi mulo cause allí ain’ T no manera que
puedo mantener esto arriba. OK OK, that’s enough
of that. I’m just trying to start something, but only
because NASCAR started it first. It seems that NAS-
CAR is starting the series up again that was formed in
2004 with OCESA, which is part of a larger company
CIE, an entertainment promoter in Latin America and
Spain. With its first Busch Series race last year and
then a second one in 2006, NASCAR feels they should
start getting a corner on the marketability of the sport
in other countries.
It seems to be the old thing where the big
company joins the little guy and then takes over so
they can all make big “dinero”. In Mexico last year,
the Desafio Corona Series had 14 races in several
big cities down there with the help of (you-knowwho)
Mr. Brian France. The name has changed, and
so has the flow of their pesos, probably. In 2007 it
will be called “NASCAR Mexico Corona Series” and
NASCAR’s Robbie Weiss, NASCAR Managing Director
International, had this to say: “By further incorporating
the series under the NASCAR brand and competition
structure, we hope to create a natural bridge for teams
and drivers to grow and participate in the NASCAR
system.” Does that mean that more new drivers will
be available to the Cup series in the future since the
“Buschwhackers” have all but put an end to the old
way of coming up through that series?
I’ll talk about the Busch Series in a minute,
cause this is to good to stop here. Now, the NMCS
will debut in March, on the same weekend and track
that the NASCAR Busch Series is making their return
to Mexico, along with the Rolex Sports Car Series.
Y’all remember Chad Little, don’t you? He had a
couple of good years in Busch but never really did
too well in Cup. He’s been the director of racing
development for NASCAR for two years down south.
Chad thinks it has been great watching these talented
drivers get the opportunity to race in NASCAR, and
the new series will be an even better way for them to
display their abilities. Little said, “It’s an exciting time
to be a part of NASCAR Mexico and build this new
series.” I wonder how long before the Cup guys will
be called, “Coronawhackers” and shut this way to the
Bigs down?
Now, NASCAR hasn’t stopped south of the border,
as you may all ready know, next season there will
be a race in Canada and just last month Mr. Brian said
30 december 14-20, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper
he had eyes on China and Western Europe. He wants
to join up with other businesses in those countries
and bring in NASCAR’s clout with sponsors, the media,
and licensing (marketable goodies in other words)
so that the NFL will be in his shadow. He seems to be
obsessed with being bigger and better than football
and compares NASCAR to (and copies) them in many
ways. To become an international sport would make
Mr. France a happy man, but just who would pay for
this? The true fans of racing: US! I can see it now,
several races on a weekend. And if you want to watch
your favorite driver, well he’s on Pay-per-View. Channel
500 this Sunday, but next week you can catch him
on ABC.
Where is NASCAR going in the future, and what
does ISC have in store for us the next several years?
Well, you’ll be getting a taste of it in 2007, and 2010
may just be real scary. Now I can understand the need
for a Car of Tomorrow, but while a #20 Home Depot
runs here in the U.S. and a #20 En Casa Estación
races in Mexico, it makes sense for them to all look
alike. Can NASCAR grow to be as popular in all these
different countries? Will the Cup Stars be on loan to
a race in China? Mr. France says no, the big names
won’t go to these foreign lands. He says. “It will be
developing with someone on the ground, our style,
our brand of racing, and our business model.” Just
think, it all started here in the South by a Yankee and
now the grandson is taking it worldwide, or at least he
is giving it the ole college try.
As for where I skipped over a few lines back,
about the “Buschwackers,” one columnist writes,
“Why, then, is there so much being said and written
about what’s wrong with the Busch Series?” He goes
on to refer to a term, “what now many have taken to
calling ‘Cup-Lite’.” Does he have a clue as to why
the Busch Series was formed? I think it was so that
new young drivers, and yes teams, could come race
and not have the challenge of the big money teams
winning every time. They could develop their skills
against each other so they can win races and take
home some money to help pay for their education and
not be back in the last thirty spots of a race. So what
happens when one guy wins in one race, that’s not
a Cup driver, and then he goes and signs with RYR.
What happened to his team in Busch? They closed up
shop. Who got the fair end of that deal?
The Busch Series should be for the little guys
and not the Cup Stars and owners to test their theories
out on a track before the Cup race. That same writer
says that the fans and the sponsors get a deal. TV
loves the ratings being up and the track owners don’t
mind it either. Why? More money for them. In the
same breath that he says how great everything is in
Busch, “cars and drivers being fielded by traditionally
independent Busch teams are down and nearly out.”
Well, yea! How can the smaller teams come up with
the money it takes to race Busch? It’s like the small
Cup teams trying to make a spot when there are so
few to try for each week. It’s tuff and it ain’t going
to stop in either series. Yes, Bob Margolis of Yahoo
Sports, I’m not a Buschwhacking, Cup-Liter or whatever
you or anyone else wants to call a fan.
I will keep right on saying it and writing about
it and don’t think that I will ever be happy with all the
NASCAR Nextel Cup drivers racing in the NASCAR
Busch Series. They belong in Cup and Busch belongs
to the FNGs and the Old Guys. NASCAR ain’t going to
do a darn thing about it as long as people like yourself
and a few drivers are OK with it and, in your case,
thrilled with it. Another thing that I feel we can look
forward to soon in Busch is a Chase format, what
with Harvick winning by more than eight hundred
points. Let’s see more of them in the NASCAR Craftsman
Truck Series. How bout it? I wonder of a Cup guy
could drive a full season in all three of NASCAR’s top
series? All right I’m done and if you want me you can
find me at tinynascars@yahoo.com, and just like all
ways: If it ain’t NASCAR, It ain’t s**t!

eujacksonville.com | december 14-20, 2006 31