ECFS October 2002 FieldNotes - Ethical Culture Fieldston School

Photo by Diane Silverman 

Field Notes 

What’s going on at the Ethical Culture Fieldston School 

In the Spotlight 

Reinventing Yourself 

O c t o b e r 2 0 0 2 

by Bill Bertsche, Head of the Middle School 

School is largely about transitions, for children 

and their parents. These changes are 

experienced most dramatically in middle 

school. Your typical middle school student goes 

from late elementary school to the beginning of 

high school — from the edge of childhood to fullblown 

adolescence — in a span of two and a half 

years. That may be an eternity for a child, but 

for adults it goes by very fast. Some experts 

point out that there is more rapid intellectual and physical growth 

in early adolescence than in any period of time outside of zero to 

three. Indeed, some students entering Form I are difficult to recognize 

a year and 10 months later. 

For many students the initial difficulty when entering middle 

school is simply learning the lay of the land — the campus seems terribly 

big. “Am I ever going to be able to find my way?” is the plaintive 

question of a typical Form I student during orientation. And then 

there is the issue of competence: “Will I be able to do the work?” 

There are, I think, some distinct transition issues for students 

from the Fieldston Lower and Ethical campuses. Coming from a 

smaller school, the sheer size of Fieldston is a challenge, if only 

temporarily, for some students from Fieldston Lower. And for students 

from Ethical, getting up much earlier in the morning to make 

the school bus can be a challenge. For students who are entering 

Fieldston from other private and public schools, a major issue is 

entering a school where many of the children in their grade have 

known each other for as many as seven or eight years. 

Fieldston works at helping students get over the initial humps. 

During their sixth grade year, students from Ethical and Lower 

have a number of opportunities to visit Fieldston. In the spring all 

new students visit campus and begin to get to know one another. We 

also have a day-long orientation program the week before school 

begins, which includes activities for the students in their new advisories, 

tours of the school, and discussions led by junior and senior 

students (Peer Advisory Leaders or PALs). By the end of the first 

week of school the students know their way around well. They realize 

early on that they are capable of doing about as well academically 

as they want to. Whatever differences there may be initially 

between the Ethical kids, the Lower kids, and the new, new kids fade 

(at least to the adults) very quickly. 

The real issues of the transition are the interpersonal ones. Will I 

be liked? Will I have friends? Who will they be? And who exactly do I 

want to be, anyway? The transition to middle school (similar to the 

In the Spotlight continues on page 10 

Hold That Date 

Leafingthrough... 

Halloween treats 

for ECF! 

OCTOBER HIGHLIGHTS 

Thurs. 10/3 EC Open School Night, Grades 1, 2, 5, & 6, 6:30pm 

FL Open School Night, Grades K - 2, 7:30pm 

Tues. 10/8 F Form I Cape Cod Trip (through 10/11) 

Wed. 10/9 EC Open School Night, Grades K, 3, & 4, 6:30pm 

Thurs. 10/10 FL Open School Night, Grades 3 - 6, 7:30pm 

Tues. 10/15 F Form V At-Home (6:00pm) & College Meeting 

(7:00pm) 

Sat. 10/19 ECF Homecoming 

Mon. 10/21 F New Parent Dinner, 7:00pm 

Tues. 10/22 FL Harvest Festival, 1:45pm 

EC P&T/Partnership Diversity Forum, 7:00pm 

Wed. 10/23 EC Open School Night, Grade PreK & Special 

Subjects, 6:30pm 

Thurs. 10/30 F Form I At-Home, 6:30pm 

New Faces 2002 

on Page 4 

For a complete listing of ECF 

events, please see October 

Datebook enclosed. 

NOVEMBER HIGHLIGHTS 

Mon. 11/4 F Form II At-Home, 6:30pm 

Wed. 11/6 ECF Noon Dismissal 

Mon. 11/11 F Form IV At-Home, 6:30pm 

Wed. 11/13 FL Grade 6 Frost Valley Trip (through 11/15) 

EC Holiday Toy & Gift Fair (through 11/15) 

Fri. 11/15 F Fall Drama Production, 7:30pm (through 11/16) 

Thurs. 11/21 FL New Book Fair, 7:30am (through 11/22) 

Wed. 11/27 ECF Noon Dismissal 

E t h i c a l C u l t u r e • F i e l d s t o n • F i e l d s t o n L o w e r 

1

Photo by Anita Haber 

This is the second and concluding part of our interview 

with Laura J. Clark, Director of College Counseling at 

Fieldston. The first part in September’s FieldNotes 

looked at Fieldston’s approach to the college application 

process, the role of the college counselor, what goes into finding 

the right school for each student, and the costs involved in the 

process. In this issue, Laura Clark discusses “early decision,” 

common misperceptions, and new trends in the world of college 

admissions. 

Q: What changes in the college application 

process have you observed 

over the last two decades? 

Fieldston no longer offers AP 

courses. Has this had any 

effect on our students being 

accepted to their chosen colleges? 

A: I think the biggest change in my 20 

years in this field is the anxiety of the 

families with whom I work. The 

process has not really changed much: 

a few nuances here and there, but 

nothing drastic. There are some colleges 

that have become a little more 

selective, and some that are less so. The media, however, 

would have you believe otherwise. I always say that if 

folks would just relax and let their kids fill out the applications 

using as much common sense as they can muster, 

their kids would get in to college and everything would be 

fine. Nevertheless, I don’t blame parents for being nervous 

when there are entire industries built up around their anxiety, 

powered by a great deal of money and profit! (I refer 

here to test prep, independent counseling, educational consultants, 

and expensive scholarship services all of which 

can be useful to some people, but are vastly overused by 

most.) I spend at least half my time helping people to decipher 

what is true and what is smoke and mirrors. 

Colleges have not even asked me about the APs, which 

is due to the fact that we educated the colleges so thoroughly 

about the change before it happened. Our college admission 

results were great last year. 

Q: What do you think of Early Decision? 

A: Early Decision (ED) is a process that has an earlier 

deadline and binds the student to only one college choice if 

she is admitted. It is a good idea for some students and a 

bad idea for others. For the student who is maturing a little 

2 

Family Matters 

College Counseling at Fieldston 

Part Two 

An Interview with Laura J. Clark, Director, College Counseling, Fieldston 

Fieldston College Office; from left: Harry Dawe, 

Laura Clark, and Zoraida Montanez 

late, it is a bad idea, since first semester grades of senior 

year are not included in the decisions. Also, students may 

have different ideas about where they want to go to college 

in April of senior year than they do in November! This is 

my main objection to it. Almost all the students I have sent 

to Stanford, for example, would never have applied if they 

had gone with the college that was their first choice in 

November. 

I also think that in many cases, ED is used to help the 

colleges meet enrollment and increase their “yield” statistics 

for US News and World Report. The Early Decision 

process always “yields” 100% of the 

students the college accepts, because 

the students are not allowed to turn 

down these offers. This looks good for 

the statistics, though it may not be so 

good for the students. 

The early process can be very 

manipulative at some institutions, 

also. I had a college tell me last year in 

February, past the early deadline, that 

if one of my students would agree to 

apply under the early decision binding 

contract, it would admit the student. If 

not, she would be put on the waiting 

list. This meant that she would not get 

a final decision until June, and maybe not get in at all. This 

was all about yield, and not at all about the student. She 

had a horrible week trying to decide what to do, since there 

was another college she liked equally that she wanted to 

attend, and was not really ready to make the decision. 

Family Matters continues on page 8 

Field Notes 

Ethical Culture Fieldston School 

Editor: Anita Haber 

Editorial Advisors: Bill Bertsche, George Burns, Rachel Stettler, Ann Vershbow 

Editorial Board: Beth Beckmann, Jessica Stedman Guff, Charles Melcher ’83, 

Myra Mieszczanski, Kate Wenner 

Art Director: Joan Adelson 

Editorial Consultant: Ginger Curwen 

Executive Editor: Bruce Posner, ECF Office of Communications and Media 

© Copyright 2002 by the Ethical Culture Fieldston School 

FieldNotes is published ten times a year and invites contributions from 

faculty, staff, parents, students, and other members of the community. Email 

fieldnotes@ecfs.org, with your ideas or by mail to FieldNotes, ECF Office of 

Home and School, 33 Central Park West, New York, NY 10023. For additional 

information, call (212) 712-6266. Visit www.ecfs.org and click on “parents” to 

view the online version of FieldNotes. 

E t h i c a l L e a r n i n g • A c a d e m i c E x c e l l e n c e • P r o g r e s s i v e E d u c a t i o n

Class Life 

Inside the Classroom at 

Ethical Culture, Fieldston, 

and Fieldston Lower 

First Week of School 

where’s my backpack?” 

“Do I need school supplies for 

“Mom, 

the first day?” “Mom, will you 

help me pick out something to wear?” 

“Where is my bus pass” “Dad, did you see 

where I put my schedule?” “Oh, I am so 

nervous; I can hardly sleep.” Sound familiar? 

Yes, these are the questions our children 

ask every year at the same time — 

the night before the first day of school. 

The first week of school at Ethical 

Culture, 

Fieldston 

Lower, 

and 

Fieldston 

arrived 

and 

excitement was in the air. Parents were glowing, 

and their children were full of energy, 

and a few butterflies too. At Fieldston, students 

were welcomed back to school during 

an opening day assembly and a lunchtime 

barbecue at the end of the week. 

At all three school divisions, the one-year 

anniversary of the events of September 11th were marked by moments of silence. 

Fieldston Lower held a brief assembly 

in which second through sixth graders 

sang songs of hope. For everyone, it 

was a day of quiet contemplation. 6 

Clockwise from top right: 

Head of School Joe Healey finds out about the second day 

of school at Ethical Culture; balloons help make the first 

day of school festive for this new kindergartner at 

Fieldston Lower; Fieldston Form II students play tug-ofwar 

on the new athletic field during the school barbecue; 

Fieldston friends together again at the school barbeque; 

the Fieldston Eagle lands in time to greet Fieldston seniors 

at the school barbecue; this PreK student and his 

mom wait patiently for the school doors to open at 

Fieldston Lower. 


3 

Photos by Susan Freedman and Anita Haber

Photos by Stan Schnier 

4 

Mary Jane Berkeley 

Teaching Assistant, 

3rd Grade 

B. A. Brown University 

M. A. Bank Street 

Taught 4th grade at PS 89 

for half of last year. 

Joan Singer 

Spanish Teacher 

B. A. CCNY 

M. A. CCNY 

Taught language and art for 22 

years in the Three Village School 

District on Long Island. 

New Faces 2002 

Every school year adds new faces to our community — new students, new faculty, and new staff. The 

following are the faces of 26 new teachers who will be working side by side with our children at 

Ethical Culture, Fieldston Lower, and Fieldston. We welcome them and wish them a year of 

growth and fulfillment. 6 

ETHICAL CULTURE 

Julianne Dow 

Head Teacher, 

1st Grade 

B. A. Earlham College 

M. A. Indiana University 

Taught 1st grade in Westport, 

Connecticut for the last seven years. 

Tora Suber 

Physical Education 

B. A. University of Virginia 

First year teacher 

Jessica Gruber 


Kindergarten 

B. A. Indiana University 

First year teacher 

Emily Weinstein 

Teaching Assistant, 3rd Grade 

B. A. Middlebury College 

This former ECF student (‘92) will be 

assisting her former teacher Tom Doran. 

Danielle Neufeld 

Head Teacher, 2 nd Grade 

B. A. University of Maine 

M.A. University of Southern Maine 

Taught 5 th grade in Gorham, 

Maine for the last six years. 

Rachel Zelechow 

Teaching Assistant, 1st Grade 

B. A. York University 

M. A. in progress from Bank Street College 

Has student-taught at PS 89, Little Red 

Schoolhouse, and PS 234. 


FIELDSTON LOWER 

Monique Astengo-Rosen 

Teaching Assistant, 1st Grade 

B. A. UCLA 

M. A. Journalism, Columbia University 

M. A. Teachers College, Columbia University 

As a student teacher, she taught at PS 321 

in Brooklyn, Manhattan Country School. 

Prior to that, she was a producer at 

“Dateline NBC,” where she did many 

education stories. 

Polly Spring 

Reading Specialist 

B. A. Springfield College 

M. A. University of Bridgeport 

Post-Masters work in reading 

literacy at Bank Street College 

Taught one year at PS 9 and 13 

years as a reading/math specialist 

in Stamford, Connecticut. 

FIELDSTON 

Paola Cartagena 

Teaching Assistant, 2nd Grade 

B. A., Lehman College 

M. A. in progress at Lehman College 

Taught for three years at Fieldston 

Lower before taking off last year to 

have a baby. 

Martha Upton 

Language Specialist, 1 st , 

5 th , and 6 th grades 

B. A. Wesleyan College 

M.A. CUNY 

M. A. Bank Street College 

Was language specialist in NYC 

public schools and interned last 

year at Bank Street School. 

James Anderson 

French Teacher 

B. A. SUNY Albany 

M. A. Middlebury College 

M. A. New York University 

Taught at the Northfield Mt. Hermon 

School for the last two years; taught French 

at the University of Grenoble for three years. 

Valerie Edwards 


1st Grade 

B. A. Bank Street College 

M. A. Bank Street College 

After a career as a producer of TV 

commercials, Valerie switched into 

education and taught at the Stevens 

Cooperative School in Hoboken, NJ. 

Stephen Winterstein 


3rd Grade 

B. A. Haverford College 

M. A. in progress at Bank Street 

College 

Interned at Manhattan Country 

School last year. 

Latefa Anderson 


M. A. University of Grenoble 

Taught at the Northfield Mt. Hermon 

School for the last two years and taught 

French in France. 

Monica Foust 

Head Teacher, 3 rd Grade 

B. A. Howard University 

Graduate work at Teachers College 

Taught 2 nd grade for three years at 

Georgetown Day School. 

John Baglio 

Science Teacher 

B. A. Colgate 

M. A. New York University 

Taught for four years at the East Side 

Middle School (MS 114), and four 

years previously at the NYC 5 

Outward Bound Center. 


Photos by Stan Schnier

more New Faces 2002 

FIELDSTON CONTINUED 

Robert Carrano 


B. A. Hunter College 

M. A. Baruch College 

Taught for 33 years in the New 

York City public schools. 

Jennifer Hickman 

History Teacher 

B.A. Smith College 

Taught last five years at Phillips 

Academy in Andover, Massachusetts. 

Has also taught at Concord Academy and 

Northfield Mt. Hermon. 

Jennifer Chowdhury 

Computer Science Teacher 

B. A. Tufts University in electrical engineering 

This first-time teacher is an ECF graduate 

of the class of ’97. 

Michael Ingram 

Choral Director 

B. A. Hofstra University 

M. A. SUNY, Stony Brook 

Taught for 15 years in New York City public 

schools and has performed on Broadway, TV, 

and in movies for the last 25 years. 

Ethical Culture 

• Stephanie Hermann, who took over Mark Greenwald’s 3rd 

grade class last year while Mark was on sabbatical, is teaching 

kindergarten as she fills in for Tracy Gray who is on sabbatical 

this year. 

• Erin Martin is teaching ethics to 4th – 6th graders replacing 

Emily Cause who moved to Boston where she is teaching 5th 

grade while her husband attends graduate school. Erin 

taught 4th grade last year when Penny House was on sabbatical. 

David Gardner 


B. A. Clarkson University 

M.A. in progress at NYU 

Taught physics at Rye Country Day for 

last two years. 

Shelley Pannill 


B. A. Connecticut College 

M. A. Columbia University 

Taught privately. 

Returning Teachers in New Positions 

6 

Meg Hanson 

Math Teacher 

B. A. William Smith 

M. A. Teachers College, Columbia 

University 

Taught for the last eight years at Chapin. 

Ana Silva 

Ethics Teacher 

M.A. University of Edinburgh 

M.A. in progress at Middlebury College 

Taught philosophy for five years at 

Deerfield Academy and one year of 

English at Poly Prep. 

Fieldston Lower 

• Maurice Tome, formerly assistant teacher in 1st grade, 

is teaching ethics this year while Elizabeth Saenger is on 

sabbatical. 

E t h i c a l L e a r n i n g • A c a d e m i c E x c e l l e n c e • P r o g r e s s i v e E d u c a t i o n 

Photos by Stan Schnier

k 

Spreading Our Wings 

ECF Sports, Performances, Clubs, and More 

Track & Field of Dreams 

The dream was a new all-purpose track 

and field with synthetic turf for 

Fieldston. Starting on June 3rd, the 

dream was transformed into reality. General 

contractors began to remove field soil. By 

September 5th, football, field hockey, and 

soccer teams were all practicing on the new 

field. On October19th, there will be an official 

ribbon-cutting ceremony during 

Homecoming. This exciting addition to the 

Fieldston campus was made possible thanks 

to the leadership and generosity of ECF parent 

and former co-chair of the board of 

trustees S. Donald Sussman. The class of ‘99 

and others also helped make this dream a 

reality. 

In between was a summer of hard work, 

led by a committee that included CFO Terry 

de Guzman, Fieldston head of facilities Gene 

Kivlan, science teacher Peter Mott, and the 

Fieldston athletics department represented 

by Steve Bluth, Doug Bessone, and Chris 

Sowlakis. Mott worked closely with the architects 

to reduce the impact to the environment. The excess topsoil was donated to 

some of our neighbors, Wave Hill, Van Cortlandt Park, and the College of Mt. St. 

Vincent, all of whom were thrilled. When it came time to pick the color of the track’s 

artificial surface, the initial choice, blue, was switched to orange. (It turns out that 

birds dive down into any expanse of blue, thinking it’s a lake.) All in all, said Gene 

Kivlan, this represents “a big improvement for the whole facility and the quality of 

life on the Fieldston campus.” 

Athletic Director Steve Bluth raved in the Fieldston News about the new field with 

Astroplay turf, “It is definitely the nicest field you can get.” 6 

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EC Gym Transformed 

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A Track Record 

“Amazing!” On September 9 

“Whoa!” th , the EC sixth graders were the first to 

enter the newly renovated lower gym. As they burst through the door, their 

first reactions said it all. 

The lower gym got a total renovation this summer, thanks to the generosity of lead 

donors Lloyd and Laura Blankfein and others who made the project possible. According to 

Joe Piselli, EC head of facilities, except for some minor improvements in 1979, the gym 

really hadn’t been upgraded since 1904. The half-million dollar project, planned with input 

from the school architect and the athletic department, now sparkles with light from top (a 

cleaned skylight) to bottom (a soft, new, user-friendly surface). Among its many new features: 

all-new wall padding, new storage areas, a gallery with chin-up bars; four new 

retractable backboards; new lighting; and the entire gym repainted in school colors. Let’s play! 6 

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June 

Early August 

September 

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Photos by Anita Haber and Bruce Posner

Family Matters 

College Counseling at Fieldston, Part Two continued 

Family Matters continued from page 2 

Q: What common myths about the state of 

college admissions and the application 

process do you see perpetuated in newspapers 

and magazines? 

A: • The media would have you believe that it gets harder to 

get into college every year. In my experience with Fieldston 

students, it does not. Some colleges are harder, some are 

easier, but most stay approximately the same. There is a 

huge marketing premium on being seen as very selective. 

Early Decision is the most commonly misrepresented in 

the media. At highly selective colleges, ED, for the most 

part, does not increase chances of admission. The top most 

selective colleges have their choice of applicants; they use 

Early Decision to select the cream of the crop and get them 

to make a commitment. ED is for recruitment purposes and 

to give their office more time to 

read the long applications they 

require. A few years ago some colleges 

in this category started taking 

more of their class in the early 

process, but that is because they 

found they were deferring many 

decisions to the regular process, 

and then admitting these students anyway because they 

were so strong. They figured out that there was no point 

deferring them if they were going to admit them later. They 

also had a better chance of enrolling them early. They still 

admit exactly the same super-qualified bodies, only upfront 

instead of after a deferral. Relatively few students are actually 

qualified for these places, and they have room for those 

who are in the regular process, as well as early, so ED does 

not provide any clear advantage. Less selective colleges do, 

in fact, often admit slightly less qualified students in the 

early process, if that student is willing to make a commitment. 

Consultation with the college advisor will determine 

the policy at each particular college. 

Q: What are the common misperceptions that 

parents have about the process, colleges, etc.? 

A: Probably the biggest misperception is that 

Prestige=Quality. All colleges are not the same for all students. 

I can’t repeat this enough. The place with the best 

reputation in the world may be an awful place for many students, 

may make them unhappy, and contribute to depression 

and disaster. A small, lesser known college may care 

for a student beautifully, set him up with a great education 

and career, and keep in touch with him throughout his life. 

Media rankings have done more to create disastrous 

matches than any other factor in this process. We help 

parents and students understand what they can use 

8 

Parents who can release their child 

from parental expectations at this 

point are amazed at how well the 

process goes. 

rankings for, and what they cannot. It is important to 

remember how hard it is to get a professorship at a college, 

any college! The level of teaching at most places these days 

is very high. Some student bodies may be less challenging 

than others, but not everyone should be in a highly competitive 

environment. For some kids it is great to be in the top 

five or 10 percent of the class — they get all the best attention 

from their teachers and enjoy many great opportunities 

instead of getting lost in the pack. 

Another misperception is that the college process is a 

game, and you have to know someone powerful to get in to 

the college of your choice. Honestly, I have about three or 

four kids a year who have “contacts” that assist their actual 

admission. I have many who think that they have been helped 

by “contacts,” but it is clear to me from speaking to the admissions 

officers that the students were admitted on their own 

merits. The process is essentially fair, and when it does not 

seem so, it is because there are 

simply too many qualified students 

to fit in a particular class. 

Some of them have to be cut. 

Some parents think that our 

office pulls strings to get some 

students admitted. We do talk to 

the colleges about each student, 

but that is only to make sure the college has recognized the 

best qualities about that student. We are never asked to 

rank the applicants in order of our own preference; that 

would be extremely unethical, and I would refuse to do it. It 

helps that Fieldston is an interesting and strong academic 

school, and that our students are bright and motivated but 

the colleges don’t owe Fieldston anything, and they don’t 

owe each of us as counselors anything. Students are admitted 

on their own merits. Sometimes from talking to an 

admissions officer I will get the idea that there is something 

missing from a file and ask the student to submit an extra 

paper or slides of art work or something else. But we never 

directly “get the students in.” 

One more thing: Our students don’t compete with each 

other directly, but with other students from across the country. 

This is complicated and has to do with the fact that there 

are different sub-groups in every admission pool at the college. 

It is very important for the sanity of our students to 

know that they are not “up against” their best friend in the 

process. Also, the colleges do not assign a given number of 

spaces to each high school, no matter how selective they are. I 

remember when I worked at Princeton there was a fine high 

school in Los Angeles that had sent us large numbers of inappropriate 

students because they had a stereotype of what they 

thought we were looking for. I visited one year and spoke to 

the entire senior class, and we finally got a diverse, interesting 

group of applicants. In past years we had admitted one or 

two; that year we took 17! The counselor was shocked, and of 


course the following year thought we “owed” her the same 

number. (We took six the following year, as I remember). If 

we send great applicants to the places that are very selective, 

the students will do well. Of course you have to remember 

that this is from the college’s perspective, not from ours. 

Q: Are the college criteria for awarding 

financial aid different than the criteria used 

for awarding financial aid to students who 

attend independent secondary 

schools? 

A: Financial aid criteria for needbased 

aid (the money that is given to 

students not based on academic or 

athletic excellence, but to meet the 

need of the family and make it possible 

for the student to attend college) 

are the same for everybody. Not all 

colleges give need-based aid, though 

most of the ones we work with do. 

For those that do not, academic 

strength is a big factor, and because 

Fieldston is a strong school, our kids 

may do better than some of the students 

at weaker institutions. Most 

colleges do not count private secondary 

school tuition as a qualifying 

expense because they see private 

school as a luxury. If you have other 

children in private school, they may 

not see the tuition for them as something 

that they should count when 

figuring how much scholarship 

money you will need for the student 

who is going to college. This, however, 

is open for discussion, as is much 

that has to do with financial aid 

awards. Financial aid offices of the colleges are there to help 

you with these issues, as is the college office at Fieldston. 

Q: What is the best advice you can give 

parents whose children are just beginning to 

think about college and the application 

process? 

A: Parents who are beginning to think about the college 

process should start in junior year devoting some time to 

talking with each other and with their child about how 

he/she learns best. What does she like about her current 

educational experience? What would she like to change? 

Parents should talk about social atmosphere with their 

child as well as academics. The social “ethos” of the college 

will influence the child’s education as much in college as it 

did in high school. Students who are happy socially are better, 

more passionate students. This process goes best if students 

start senior year having thought consciously and 

carefully about who they are and what they want. 

If parents can make students feel that going to college 

is an open, exciting adventure, they will have done a great 

job. This will be easier if stress is not placed, early on, on 

how hard it is to be admitted. For this reason, 

discussion of college should not happen before 

students are capable of imagining the college 

environment and the act of leaving home. 

Conversations about college much before junior 

year in high school will often cause the student to focus on 

selectivity and “getting in” rather than the actual experience 

of a college education. This will create anxiety rather 

than dispel it in a student who cannot yet conceive of what 

it means to leave home to study at a 

high level. When it is time to discuss 

college, keep the talk focused 

on your child and his needs. The 

college office will help you deal with 

the competitive aspects of the 

process in a timely and appropriate 

fashion. 

If in the beginning of the 

process, parents can try to refrain 

from imposing their own values on 

the discussion, the learning experience 

will be more fruitful and 

empowering for the child. I am 

always amazed and reassured by 

how well students find for themselves 

a college experience that is 

appropriate. They often start with 

wild ideas, but almost always end 

up with excellent, carefully chosen 

matches. Let the process be a 

process. When Susan says, “I want 

to go to the University of Alaska,” 

don’t immediately say “you can’t go 

more than two hours from home.” 

Or, “no child of mine will attend X 

college!” In the first place, it is common 

knowledge that at certain 

stages of development, students will 

put beans in their ears if their parents tell them not to, so 

with this approach you will have little chance of realizing 

your own wishes. More importantly, Susan will learn more 

if you take a deep breath and encourage her to research the 

U. of A., so she finds out for herself why it is a good or bad 

choice. (Make sure she checks how many hours of darkness 

Alaska enjoys in the winter!) If it really is a foolish choice, 

she will realize it on her own. If it is not, she may well be 

able to convince you why it is a good idea, and your objections 

may disappear. 

Parents who can release their child from parental 

expectations at this point are amazed at how well the 

process goes and how much they learn that is wonderful 

about their own child. The lessons you have taught your 

children all along will serve them well now; it is time to 

enjoy watching them think and choose for themselves. 

Don’t worry, parents can take an active role as a sounding 

board when asked, helping students visit colleges, and 

keeping track of deadlines. Your input will also be invaluable 

to the college office; we are very interested in your 

sensible observations and opinions about your child, and 

unlike your child, probably won’t resist, argue, or cry 

when you make pertinent suggestions. 6 

9 


Photo by Anita Haber

Bulletin Board 

V 

Opportunities Offered 

and Wanted Within 

the ECF Community 

Opportunities Offered 

We welcome announcements from 

the ECF community. If you would 

like to place an item for our 

November issue, please submit it to 

fieldnotes@ecfs.org by October 5th. 

(Note: Neither FieldNotes nor ECF can 

review or be responsible for their content.) 

Any Story Ideas for FieldNotes? 

Have you been taking notes about ECF's new 

publication FieldNotes? Or have any photos? 

We're eager to hear your thoughts and ideas 

for future issues. Email us at 

fieldnotes@ecfs.org and share your notes. 

Community Service Opportunities for Fieldston Students 

The following are a few of the many ways Fieldston students can serve the community. For a 

complete listing of opportunities, a bulletin composed by the Fieldston Community Service 

Program will be distributed in October. Please note: Students must meet with Ms. Vassos or 

Ms. Gross to confirm placement at these sites and to receive the necessary paperwork. For 

more information, contact Susan Dratel at (718) 329-7250. 

JCC in Manhattan, 76th Street & Amsterdam Avenue, NYC 

Teens Give Back - A yearlong program of community service and social activism. Teens 

will be placed at an agency based on their interest and they will be able to cultivate their passion 

for social action through leadership training. 

• Read to or mentor a child • Run with a disabled athlete • Visit patients at the hospital 

• Spend time with the elderly • Work to fight hunger 

For more information and an application, call (646) 505-4413. 

Medicare Rights Center, 1460 Broadway, NYC 

This non-profit organization is dedicated to helping seniors and people with disabilities 

obtain good, affordable health care. It offers a challenging and rewarding program for students 

interested in public policy, health care, law, and medicine. The program enlists high 

school and college students to make follow-up calls to clients to ensure that they understand 

and are able to act on the advice provided. 

The commitment is as follows: 

• Each student attends two two-hour training sessions in October. 

• Each student commits to two hours after school each week for 12 weeks. 

• Each student becomes a Medicare expert. 

• Each student helps dozens of seniors. 

• Each student gains direction and insight for future career choices. 

For more information and/or an application. call (212) 204-6232. 

The Yorkville Common Pantry, 8 East 109th Street, NYC 

Has several volunteer opportunities for teens throughout the year: 

• Project Dignity • Soup Kitchen • Pantry Programs • Dignity Shelter 

• Girlspace • Office Work • Development (assist in fund raising and special events) 

For more information on each program, call (212) 410-2264. 

Computers Available 

If you are in need of a computer, please call Anita Haber, ECF Director of Home and School. 

There are several computers owned by the school that are no longer in use. For more 

information, please contact Anita by email at ahaber@ecfs.org or by phone (212) 712-6266. 

Cello for Sale 

Fieldston family is selling 3/4 cello with a J. Juzek label, which may or may not be authentic. 

If you are interested, please contact Marcia Golub at mhgolub@mindspring.com or by 

phone, (212) 568-5682. 

In the Spotlight continued from page 1 

Three Parent Forums in October 

The following events are sponsored by the EC Partnership for Smart Choices, a P&T committee 

which organizes grade and school forums to discuss non-academic issues involving 

our children and our school. For more information please contact PSC co-chairs: Lesley 

Field (212) 932-2010, Peter Mayer (212) 673-5107, Sandra Miller (212) 580-1038 

• The Social Lives of Young Children 

All families with children in Pre-K and K, and those in first and second grades new to the 

school are invited to a Parents’ Forum entitled, “Joining the Ethical Culture Community: A 

Guide to School Social Life,” on Tuesday, October 8, at 8:30 am in the Society Building room 

507. (PK parents shouldn’t worry about joining us late.) 

• Diversity in the EC Community 

“Diversity in Our Community: Many Voices, Many Views” is the topic of this year’s first 

Partnership school-wide forum. Everyone is invited to attend and participate along with a 

panel of EC parents, coming together to share our range of experiences at the school. The 

forum, co-sponsored by the P & T Multi-Cultural Concerns Committee and the Parent, 

Student, Faculty Alliance, will be held in the 6th floor cafeteria at 7:00pm on Tuesday, 

October 22. Refreshments and childcare will be available. 

• First Grade Forum – Independence and Separation 

The October 29th forum for parents of EC First Graders will discuss “Independence and 

Separation.” This forum will take place at 8:30am in room 507. 

Ron Taffle to Speak at EC, November 14 

Save the Date: Thursday, November 14th when psychologist and author Ron Taffel, Ph.D. will speak 

at Ethical Culture. The title of Dr. Taffel’s talk will be “Preparing Your Child for a Safe Adolescence. 

What You Can Do Now to Stay Close Later.” The November 14th meeting is sponsored by the EC 

Girls Study Group and is open to every parent in the school. The meeting will begin at 7:00pm. 

Yoga for You 

At The Society for Ethical Culture (across from Fieldston School) Yoga for health, Yoga for wellbeing, 

Yoga for stress relief and relaxation, Yoga for specific ailments, Yoga for strength and flexibility, 

Yoga for spiritual awareness, Yoga for inner peace, Yoga just to have time for you. Take your 

pick! Classes focus on being non-competitive, going at your own pace, and working at your own 

ability level. We start with a gentle warm-up and easy stretches, then work on more challenging 

postures without straining, and finally wind down with a deep relaxation and sometimes a brief 

meditation. You will leave feeling peaceful and energized. Mixed ability Yoga classes for adults are 

available on: Tuesdays, 9:30 – 11:00am; Thursdays, 9:00 – 10:30am; Thursdays, 4.30 - 6.00pm. 

NEW CLASSES starting soon: 1) Evening class for adults; 2) Yoga for children/teens after school. 

For more information, please phone Neem (Form IV Dean Hugo Mahabir’s wife) (718)432-8575. 

EC Volunteers Needed 

The P&T school store needs parents to help run the school store. The store is open a few 

days each month and the hours are flexible. Duties include selling merchandise and helping 

with set-up and break-down of the store. Interested parents should contact Nancy Serling 

either by telephone at (212) 678-2425, or via e-mail at BRAN00@hotmail.com 

In Memoriam 

Memorial Concert for Betty Clancy Radens 

Sunday, November 3, 2002 at 3:00pm in the Fieldston Student Faculty Center 

Betty Clancy Radens was a kindergarten teacher at Fieldston Lower for 34 years and founder 

of Fieldston Outdoors. If you would like to submit a memory or thought about Betty for inclusion 

in a program book, please send it to Susan Schwimmer (sschwimm@slc.edu). 

Contributions in Betty’s name may be made to the Betty Clancy Radens Fund which has been 

set up at the Hudson River Sloop Clearwater, 112 Little Market Street, Poughkeepsie, NY, 

12601. All contributions will go towards scholarships for the Classroom of the Waves program, 

in keeping with Betty’s deep commitment to learning through first-hand experience. 

transition to high school and, later, to college) offers students the chance to reinvent themselves in many ways. This is an opportunity for 

students to adopt new interests, to make new friends, and to try on new personas, some times symbolized by new clothing or hair styles, 

new academic or extracurricular interests, or new social groups. This is appropriate and can be very exciting. We want our children to 

expand their horizons and to take full advantage of what the school makes available to them. But this can be an anxiety-provoking and even 

painful process at times. Friendship groups change and in that process feelings can get hurt. It is reassuring, of course, that everyone is new 

and experiencing the same insecurities (even if it looks like they aren’t). Sensitive and supportive teachers, advisors, and older students, 

such as the PALs, can provide a sensitive ear. Ethics classes help, in which these issues often form the subject matter of class discussions, 

as do Form I History classes where students early on discuss their adaptation to Fieldston as part of a unit on cultural adaptation. 

Over the years, I have come to realize that middle school represents a transition for parents as well. Parents increasingly feel like 

spectators. They begin to hear names to which they have no faces to attach. The old network of support has eroded. Now parents don’t 

know the majority of parents in the grade anymore. For most parents, the quasi-neighborhood feeling of school is gone. The school is 

geographically more remote, and it’s large and a little intimidating. And, most importantly, the kids seem to like it this way. Their 

growing independence is appropriate, exciting, and gratifying to see, but it can make adults feel wistful at times. 

Programming has evolved at Fieldston to support parents in this transition as well. Each spring there is a dinner for incoming 

Form I parents in which they can begin to meet one another and “bond” (as the students would say). Early in the fall there is a parents’ 

orientation for Form I (and Form III). Twice a year each form has an “at-home,” another opportunity for parents to meet one 

another and share concerns. Finally, in recent years, the advisory dinner has emerged as a way for parents of students in an individual 

advisory to get to know one another. Through all of these opportunities and more, parents, like their children, find they 

10 are increasingly at home in their new environment, and happily the school begins to truly feel like their school. 6 

E t h i c a l L e a r n i n g • A c a d e m i c E x c e l l e n c e • P r o g r e s s i v e E d u c a t i o n 

V 

In Memoriam 

Susan Adams 

Camille Solm Degener 

Teddy Ellis 

Betty Clancy Radens 

They will always be in our hearts.

ECFS October 2002 FieldNotes - Ethical Culture Fieldston School

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