Psychosocial Notebook - IOM Publications - International ...

Psychosocial Notebook, Volume 2, October 2001
It was this same motive and determination that moved her to cross the border
between Kosovo and Albania on 15 June 1999, at a time when, on the
opposite side, refugees were beginning a massive return to Kosovo. In
Vjoca’s words:
I went there because I’ve always loved [desired] to visit Albania. I was
in Durrës. I’ve always dreamed of studying in Albania, but this dream of
mine never came true, because I was engaged when I was in the 8th class
of elementary school (at 14 years old). It was the will of my father [...]
my parents were old people, they didn’t know that much, we didn’t talk
about school. My cousin was an educated person, he used to read books
that were prohibited by the Serbs, and he gave me those books. We were
not free, [the] Serbs didn’t allow us to read the books that were written
and published in Albania.
At the age of 14, Vjoca was already trying to escape the constraints
imposed by the political context. She dreamed of going to Albania, which
she equated with a sort of freedom, but her father had forbidden her to
leave. During the war, Vjoca was displaced within Kosovo, but she still
felt prevented from crossing the border on account of her son. It was only
after years of waiting that she finally reached Albania, and then, only
because of her brother. In her words:
We have been here [in Kosovo] all the time during the war. We could
have gone to Montenegro but I [would have] had to leave my son here,
my son was a KLA [Kosovo Liberation Army] soldier for 13 months.
When they forced us to leave our home, we went to [a village]. From
[Date]… to 2 May in [19...]. My husband lost five family members. Five
men from my family were jailed in the prison of Smrekovnica. My brother
was badly beaten; his body full of bruises was shown in many TV
[programmes]… Three of my brothers joined KLA… Then I heard that
my brother [had been] deported to Albania. When KFOR [military forces
of NATO and non-NATO countries in Kosovo] came in, I asked my
husband to go and try to find him. We knew that he [had been] badly
beaten. My brother was [then] in Durrës… He was there with his friends
that were also jailed. He went to Durrës to heal his wounds. That’s why
I went there (to Albania).
Vjoca therefore went to Albania because of the war, but not as a refugee.
She felt as if she “had” to stay in Kosovo, to support her son who was in
the KLA. She had hidden her desire to see Albania until she could combine
it with her justifiable need to see her brother. Only then could she go
to Albania, this “forbidden” country. As soon as she crossed the border,
however, her feelings reversed, and she suddenly wished to return to
Kosovo:
63