Psychosocial Notebook - IOM Publications - International ...

Chapter 1 • Silvia Salvatici
or her wish to forget and give priority to the objectives of the national
community. The individual subject leaves his personal stance to the construction
of a collective stage, and the performance of this duty itself reinforces
a sense of belonging to the national community, at the same time
seeming to have consolatory and therapeutic effects. Still another reason
for remembering is that it gives meaning to the loss. This occurred in the
case of Teuta. At 18, Teuta had mourned the murder of her father and
brother, (both of them active in the KLA) by the Serbian police. “We have
to live for the sake of those that fought and died for us, because when they
took the gun in their hands they did a great thing”, she said.
Afrim, another man who contributed by remembering, had witnessed the
execution of his 16-year-old daughter. She had asked Afrim for permission
to join the KLA, which he had not given her. While describing his daughter’s
death, Afrim said, “Although the pain is very deep, I’m proud of her.
I’m very proud.” From this perspective, the dead are no longer mere
victims. Remembered, they become martyrs, and their loss is made more
tolerable.
The pain of the present
The affliction, grief and anguish described by the interviewees was not
limited to past events, but also tainted their descriptions of the present. To
the Kosovar-Serbs, suffering is an immediate reality. From their point of
view, those who chose not to leave the region are still at war, a war in
which they are the victims. Within this community, the past is usually
recalled only to emphasize the suffering of the present, or to show where
this suffering originated. A group of men from Belo Polje (Pec) thus told
how their village was destroyed by Albanians. The memory of this event,
which occurred immediately after the “end” of the war, however, was
invoked mainly in order to bring to light the suffering of those who saw
their houses burnt down and who were forced to flee to Serbia. A narrative
is shared because the Kosovar Serbs’ living conditions must be brought to
the attention of the international community, which should guarantee them
the right to return home. This was the case and sentiment of Sonja, now
living in Gorazdevac, who remembered the painful experience of her
flight, with the family, from Pristina to Belgrade, but recalled it mainly in
order to raise awareness of the specific events that caused the psychological
disturbances suffered by her youngest son, for whom she sought
the help of international experts. To her, the memory of past experiences
could be used as a tool to emphasize and intensify the suffering she bore
in the present, in order, ultimately, to bring the international community to
recognize the Kosovar-Serbs as victims of the conflict, and to find adequate
solutions for them.
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