Psychosocial Notebook - IOM Publications - International ...
Psychosocial Notebook - IOM Publications - International ...
Psychosocial Notebook - IOM Publications - International ...
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
<strong>Psychosocial</strong> <strong>Notebook</strong>, Volume 2, October 2001<br />
It was the realization of such danger, the impossibility of denying reality<br />
any longer, that determined the time of the interviewees’ escape. In the survivors’<br />
narrations, a person’s life was perceived to be in danger either<br />
because of direct threat (by armed individuals or bombing), because of the<br />
death of a known person (a family member, a friend or a neighbour), or<br />
because of the number of dead bodies in the streets:<br />
The Serbs were coming down from the mountains and shooting, so there<br />
were dead people left [on the ground]. [Gezim]<br />
A boy, a friend of my sister [was killed]… then they massacred two<br />
nephews of my aunt: they had gone to the mountain to get wood. We didn’t<br />
know where they were: disappeared. For a week nobody knew where<br />
they were. Then some people went out to look for them, always with the<br />
fear that, if discovered, they could be massacred too. They found them:<br />
not the bodies, just the skeletons full of worms. [Ajsa]<br />
They massacred a woman in my uncle’s family. Then his son. Then the<br />
son of my husband’s friend. We had a lot [of death] in the village…. I<br />
saw a lot of violent acts… Since they had been massacred, after a week<br />
or two we dug a hole and put them inside… just not to leave them on the<br />
ground… Even my aunt’s boyfriend was killed – there was no funeral.<br />
[Violça]<br />
They broke in the house, wanting to kill everybody. But we ran away. My<br />
mother remained and they killed her. [Arta]<br />
Albanians were my friends, we ate together, we worked together. They<br />
killed my brother and my wife and almost massacred me. [Dritan]<br />
Death-related thoughts are ever present amongst refugees because of their<br />
traumatic experiences, because of the number of dead they have seen,<br />
because they had to escape in order to save their lives. I would like to conclude<br />
this section with discussion of the desire to die at home, which arose<br />
from the words of a woman and mother of already grown sons.<br />
What I feel as heavy is: if tomorrow I die, I die here and maybe I stay<br />
here. This is really heavy for me. My family is there and I want to be with<br />
them, there. …Then I think, if I die here in Italy I stay here, and this is<br />
not my land… What can I do, if tomorrow I die? Where will they put me?<br />
If something happens to me, I have faith that my children will not let me<br />
be left here. [Blerta]<br />
In Blerta’s statement, what emerged most clearly was a feeling of suspension:<br />
the survivors’ condition, between life and death, pain and hope, a<br />
condition which clashed with the strong connection they felt between their<br />
body and their land, and with the desire to be reunited with that land, in<br />
life or in death.<br />
181