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Dawson stepped toward Joey awkwardly, finally offering her a smile. He put his hand lightly on her back and they walked off together, leaving Pacey on the patio with his drink. He turned away from the lights again, staring off into the night. He found himself wondering what they were talking about, wondering whether they would be able to figure things out, whether they would smile at each other in that goofy, aren't-we-adorable way they'd been smiling at each other since they were about six. They would, he hoped. "Pardon me, sir, is this the meeting of the Too-Cool-To-Care Club?" He smiled. "I'm sorry, no, this is Wretched Exes." Jen was beside him. "Wretched Exes . . . cute. Speaking of which, I saw that a couple of exes we both know are taking a spin around the dance floor in there." "I know," he said, shaking the ice in his glass. "You seem fairly calm," she said with mild surprise. "I'm surprised you and Dawson aren't pulling each other's hair and hitting each other with your purses." "Surprisingly enough, I was forced to call off the rumble when he came at me with an approach that was pretty hard to argue with." She wrinkled her brow. "And what was that?" "Well," Pacey said slowly, "if I'm not mistaken, he threw himself on the mercy of the court." Jen's eyes widened. "Really? Came around all at once, did he?" "Believe me, I was as surprised as you are. Who knew the guy was going to go all adult on me? I mean, I could have believed 'grudging acceptance,' or maybe even 'selfaggrandizing self-aware self-sacrifice,' but I wasn't anticipating 'gracious good humor.' It confused me." She shook her head. "Just relax and enjoy it. It'll make life a lot easier for you and Joey." She stared at a spot over his shoulder. "Speaking of which, you two seem to be doing well." His voice softened. "Yeah. Yeah, pretty well." Jen looked down at her hands. "I'd say you're the guy who's got all your baggage packed away and all your old debts settled up, then." He nodded. "Most of them. I do have one left, you know." She cleared her throat. "And what's that?" He stared back at her with an intensity that was a little unsettling. She tried to look back expectantly, but he didn't blink, didn't move, didn't pretend he believed she didn't know what he was talking about. "Pacey, it's okay."
"I feel bad," he said simply. "I feel like I did something I shouldn't have. I feel like I should apologize to you, but I'm not sure what for." "You have nothing to apologize for," she said, smoothing her dress across her hip. "I'm telling you it's okay. In case you haven't noticed, I'm having a highly impractical weekend fling with a rich computer design mogul, so I'm not exactly sitting in my lonely bedroom, licking my wounds." He walked slowly around behind her and wrapped his arms around her in a way that struck her as brotherly, more than anything else. "I'm just going to stop talking, then." She put her hands over his. "Okay." *** Joey was surprised to find herself thinking about the night sophomore year when she and Dawson had gone to some ridiculous school dance in the early stages of his crush on Jen, with Dawson desperate to track her down on her date with that oafish football star Dawson had hated so much. He had grabbed Joey and ordered her to dance, more in the manner of a forced march than anything, and then they had found themselves face to face, hands actually touching, and he had suddenly looked at her like he'd never seen her before. It had lasted only a minute, but it had made her stomach fluttery and her face hot and her knees oddly reluctant to support her. And here they were again, five years later, and it was like coming full circle. She seemed to be seeing him, not as an obstacle or a threat or a savior, but as himself, for the first time in so long she could hardly remember. His hand on her back felt friendly and relaxed, and his hand felt familiar in hers. Dawson reached over and hooked a finger under the strap of her dress, which had slipped from her shoulder. Briskly, he slid it back up into place. "It was falling down." "Thanks." She smiled. She heard the music, was aware of the people swirling around them, and could see out of the corner of her eye that Pacey was talking to Jen outside, but Joey felt utterly cocooned. Images of Dawson, images of herself -- younger, dumber, more sure of everything -- flashed in her mind. She remembered, with an almost unbearable rush of something bittersweet, the first time Dawson ever kissed her. She had been so surprised and so relieved -- he feels something, I'm not crazy, I'm not doomed -- and the next morning, when she woke up, she had looked at herself and been convinced that she seemed ten years older. She'd felt like she had seen and felt and done things that nobody had ever seen or felt or done before, ever. All the songs were true, all the poetry was about something after all, and she had crossed some momentous threshold. She'd been picked, chosen, delivered, rescued from the swamp she'd been swimming in for a year. That was the way it had seemed then. Dawson realized that he'd never really noticed how beautiful she was. He'd thought he had, but now he could see that in his mind, she'd always been fifteen, a little gawky, a little unsure of herself. Somewhere along the line, she'd become this woman. He had the sad feeling that he'd missed it for some reason, maybe because he was too busy adoring her for being frozen in time, his one constant reassurance that not everything changed. He remembered their first date, when she'd come down from the porch as an
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Disclaimers: Nope, don't own them.
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what she really wants, and you know
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Joey suddenly felt the crush of sil
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"It was weird," Jen mused. "I reall
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Pacey, on the other hand, was usual
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Jack held up his hands in defeat. "
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Jack and Jen both turned around to
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"Pacey, it's really good to see you
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Pacey would spend the next twenty y
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"You are not." He grinned again. "A
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How sad, she somehow had the time t
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he repeated. At this, she smiled, a
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*** Joey's mind wandered back to Th
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"You did. You thought I didn't want
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"Because if you didn't have that lo
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"You and I are meant to be, Jo." It
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*** part seven: pass When the phone
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"No." Joey stared out the window de
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It was cold, even for January, and
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He froze. "Is that the real reason?
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"Then why didn't you just get the h
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He wanted to take it back. It was t
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"Hello?" "Jen?" "Pacey?" "Yeah, yea
Page 47 and 48: "I'm crazy about you, Lindley, you
Page 49 and 50: This was a development Dawson hadn'
Page 51 and 52: pouncing on her mouth and kissing h
Page 53 and 54: "Well," Dawson said, picking up his
Page 55 and 56: "Thank you." He tossed the messages
Page 57 and 58: "What happened?" She leaned forward
Page 59 and 60: "And eventually she made the last a
Page 61 and 62: Jen suddenly could hear herself bre
Page 63 and 64: "Well, I'm proud of you." For some
Page 65 and 66: He scratched his head. "Well, I'm n
Page 67 and 68: "And how is the blushing bride?" Pa
Page 69 and 70: Pacey narrowed his eyes. "You'd rat
Page 71 and 72: on her brave face and tried to pull
Page 73 and 74: it's the perfect moment if you were
Page 75 and 76: "Have I ever told you that I find e
Page 77 and 78: "This is taking more than five minu
Page 79 and 80: They both laughed, low and throaty,
Page 81 and 82: Jen swallowed hard. "And you're tel
Page 83 and 84: She closed her eyes again, and list
Page 85 and 86: He put his feet on the coffee table
Page 87 and 88: "Joey?" Jen put a hand on Joey's ar
Page 89 and 90: inadvertent right cross. Seeing him
Page 91 and 92: "The buddy. The friend. The famous
Page 93 and 94: But not me, she thought with a nost
Page 95 and 96: them, sweeping them into something
Page 97: didn't need me as the best friend,
Page 101 and 102: He leaned over and brushed his lips
Page 103 and 104: She turned to look at him again, st
Page 105 and 106: Jen reached into the car through th
Page 107 and 108: "You never will, either. Just anoth
Page 109 and 110: The West coast had the sand and the
Page 111 and 112: "Me, too." She hit the button, drop
Page 113 and 114: "Yes." She nodded slowly. "I was fe
Page 115 and 116: Jen's eyes widened. "It -- it doesn
Page 117 and 118: One of Pacey's eyes popped open. "I
Page 119 and 120: day reminding himself -- in a way t
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