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Jack rearranged his silverware self-consciously. "I don't know. Probably not." *** part seventeen: ring Dawson stood just inside the patio doors, watching Pacey, who was standing outside under the floodlights, charming one of Andie's French friends -- a girl with upswept hair and a chunky silver necklace and, of course, a delighted, flirted-with expression on her face. Dawson eased out the doors until he could hear what they were saying. "I have a boat," Pacey said. The girl giggled and shook her head. "A boat," Pacey repeated, making a sort of waves-on-the-water gesture. "For the water. A boat." She just raised her eyebrows. "A boat, like the Love Boat. Like Gilligan's Island. Like in Titanic." Now the girl grabbed Pacey's arm. "Ah, Leo!" Pacey nodded. "Right. And in the movie, Leo was on a boat. A big, big boat." He had always envied that way Pacey had of making girls purr like they were being petted. Needless to say, he knew he didn't have that quality. <strong>Girl</strong>s would occasionally look at him indulgently, like he was a charming five-year-old in a frozen pizza commercial, but there was rarely anything more than that. There was never any purring. When the girl gave one last laugh, smiled, and moved along, Dawson walked slowly towards where Pacey was standing. As he approached, he discovered that he had only rehearsed the middle of the conversation -- the important things he didn't want to get wrong -- but he hadn't devised a plan for how to start. He thought of the last time they'd seen each other, that last day at Joey's, and he absently ran his tongue over the crown the dentist had put on the tooth Pacey broke. He had no idea where to begin. He had considered just opening with the apology, but it seemed too abrupt. He couldn't very well just walk up and say, "Remember me? You hate me. But I wish you didn't." Surely there was no joke, no icebreaker, no friendly jab that was safe. So, buddy, how's the old ball and chain? With a level of regret that seemed to strike with a dull thud, Dawson realized that he had nothing to say because the two of them didn't really even know each other anymore. They hadn't really been friends, after all, since the night he walked out onto his porch and saw the two of them. There had been such a conspiratorial haze swirling around
them, sweeping them into something of which he was absolutely not a part. He remembered it with such sharpness that it seemed like he could still reach out his fingers and run them over the memory. It had been two and a half years. Two and a half years, he thought, can that be right? That can't be right. But it was. He and the kid he'd befriended as a five-year-old had ignored each other at their high school graduation. He'd missed Pacey's rally and eventual academic triumph. Pacey had missed his acceptance to film school. It was enough. "Hey," he managed, sort of sidling up to Pacey, not looking him in the eye but looking off in the same direction. "Hey, Dawson." Pacey took a sip from his drink. It was immediately clear. He's not going to help me. "It's quite a party in there." Dawson glanced over, but Pacey's face was cold. "Well, Andie aims to please." Dawson shifted back and forth on his feet a couple of times, then tried again. "It sounds like Joey's been really happy in Boston, huh?" Pacey shrugged. "Seems that way. But you know, Dawson, I wouldn't really have any way to know. You have to remember, I haven't been with her, not until this weekend. We've been apart more than a year." He smiled bitterly. "You probably remember some of that, right?" Running his hand over his hair, Dawson considered bailing out entirely, just walking back inside and never looking back. He could still try to make it right with Joey, could still determine to be civil and eminently fair and just generally the bigger man. Instead, he tried the only avenue that seemed to be open to him.. "Look, I'm wrong about everything." Pacey's head turned. "What are you getting at, Dawson? What are you doing out here? What is this about?" This was the hard part. Ugly and difficult, humiliating and painful. "I'm saying I've been wrong the whole time. About Joey, about you and Joey, about you in general. I'm not kidding -- I'm wrong about everything." Pacey stared hard at him, not moving. "I hope you'll forgive me, Dawson, if this all seems a little too easy, and that you won't think I'm ungrateful if I inquire about exactly what brought you to this little epiphany." Dawson chuckled and sighed a little. "Is it really important?" "It's really important." Inside, the band swung into a melancholy number. "Well, Pacey, if you really want to know, I'm not sure it qualifies as an epiphany so much as a long and painful education." He swallowed hard. "I'm not sure where to start."
Page 1 and 2:
Disclaimers: Nope, don't own them.
Page 3 and 4:
what she really wants, and you know
Page 5 and 6:
Joey suddenly felt the crush of sil
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"It was weird," Jen mused. "I reall
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Pacey, on the other hand, was usual
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Jack held up his hands in defeat. "
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Jack and Jen both turned around to
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"Pacey, it's really good to see you
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Pacey would spend the next twenty y
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"You are not." He grinned again. "A
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How sad, she somehow had the time t
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he repeated. At this, she smiled, a
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*** Joey's mind wandered back to Th
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"You did. You thought I didn't want
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"Because if you didn't have that lo
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"You and I are meant to be, Jo." It
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*** part seven: pass When the phone
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"No." Joey stared out the window de
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It was cold, even for January, and
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He froze. "Is that the real reason?
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"Then why didn't you just get the h
Page 43 and 44: He wanted to take it back. It was t
Page 45 and 46: "Hello?" "Jen?" "Pacey?" "Yeah, yea
Page 47 and 48: "I'm crazy about you, Lindley, you
Page 49 and 50: This was a development Dawson hadn'
Page 51 and 52: pouncing on her mouth and kissing h
Page 53 and 54: "Well," Dawson said, picking up his
Page 55 and 56: "Thank you." He tossed the messages
Page 57 and 58: "What happened?" She leaned forward
Page 59 and 60: "And eventually she made the last a
Page 61 and 62: Jen suddenly could hear herself bre
Page 63 and 64: "Well, I'm proud of you." For some
Page 65 and 66: He scratched his head. "Well, I'm n
Page 67 and 68: "And how is the blushing bride?" Pa
Page 69 and 70: Pacey narrowed his eyes. "You'd rat
Page 71 and 72: on her brave face and tried to pull
Page 73 and 74: it's the perfect moment if you were
Page 75 and 76: "Have I ever told you that I find e
Page 77 and 78: "This is taking more than five minu
Page 79 and 80: They both laughed, low and throaty,
Page 81 and 82: Jen swallowed hard. "And you're tel
Page 83 and 84: She closed her eyes again, and list
Page 85 and 86: He put his feet on the coffee table
Page 87 and 88: "Joey?" Jen put a hand on Joey's ar
Page 89 and 90: inadvertent right cross. Seeing him
Page 91 and 92: "The buddy. The friend. The famous
Page 93: But not me, she thought with a nost
Page 97 and 98: didn't need me as the best friend,
Page 99 and 100: "I feel bad," he said simply. "I fe
Page 101 and 102: He leaned over and brushed his lips
Page 103 and 104: She turned to look at him again, st
Page 105 and 106: Jen reached into the car through th
Page 107 and 108: "You never will, either. Just anoth
Page 109 and 110: The West coast had the sand and the
Page 111 and 112: "Me, too." She hit the button, drop
Page 113 and 114: "Yes." She nodded slowly. "I was fe
Page 115 and 116: Jen's eyes widened. "It -- it doesn
Page 117 and 118: One of Pacey's eyes popped open. "I
Page 119 and 120: day reminding himself -- in a way t
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