SOS by Glory, Girl Writer.pdf - Dawson's Creek Fandom Wiki

Jen suddenly could hear herself breathing. "What made you bring that up?"
He continued to stare up at the black sky. "I'm just worried about you, you know. I know
you said it was fine, but I guess I keep feeling like it's something we should talk about."
She hated -- hated -- the fact that her eyes started to sting, but she forged ahead
anyway. "If you're asking me whether I'm surprised that nothing else happened between
the two of us, I'm not. And if you're asking me whether I had some kind of expectations
that went unfulfilled, I didn't. And if you're asking me whether I think he did something
wrong, I don't. And if you're asking me whether I think he belongs with Joey, I do."
Jack rolled over onto his side, facing her, resting his head on his arm. "I didn't ask you
any of those things." He reached over and pulled a leaf out of her hair. "I asked you
whether you were sad."
She turned her head in the opposite direction, away from him. "I don't think I have any
right to be sad."
He rested his hand on her arm. "Yeah. I actually didn't ask you that, either."
At this, she turned her head and looked into his eyes, almost angry at him, but grateful,
too. "Yes," she said simply, "I'm sad." She put one hand to her eyes and started to cry,
and she felt Jack's arm slip under her neck. He eased closer to her, draping his other
arm across her stomach.
"It's okay to be sad, you know. You're not expected to be made out of stone."
"It's stupid, though," she sniffed, "because I knew it was just a thing we were doing, and I
knew it was just this crazy sort of impulse, and it's not like we dated or something, so I
just feel like a total idiot."
"Jen, I don't think you're just sad about New Year's." He wiped a tear off her face. "I
think you're sad because you like him, and you know he likes you, and you know that
even though it's not gonna work out, it's about as close as you can get to something
being right without it actually being right."
"I just don't understand why everybody else is always in the middle of these great
romantic dramas and I'm over here by myself, feeling like I'm supposed to apologize for
every feeling I have. I mean, I feel disloyal to Joey, I feel disloyal to Pacey, I feel like I'm
screwing everything up because I can't look at it the right way." She wiped her eyes with
her sleeve.
"I don't think there is a right way," Jack said. "I think you're doing the best you can, and I
don't think anybody is going to judge you for that. You're going to get over it, Jen, but
you can't rush it. You're not here -- you know, in your life, in other people's lives -- just to
do what's convenient for them. You have to do what's best for yourself."
"I'm not sure it was a very good idea that I ever fooled around with him in the first
place." She sniffed again. "I should have known nothing good was going to come of it."