SOS by Glory, Girl Writer.pdf - Dawson's Creek Fandom Wiki

pouncing on her mouth and kissing her while she laughed. Her hands in his hair. His
boat -- their boat -- sinking into the water as the rain poured. The look on his face the
first time she told him she loved him. His fingers pressing the inside of her elbow. Him,
literally kissing tears off her face. His smile, broad and open. Her, kissing his
forehead.
"I'm sorry, Dawson, but I'm not going back to California with you. Not now, not
tomorrow, not next week, not ever. It's not going to happen. And it isn't because I don't
agree with a lot of what you said. I don't deny that I don't have Pacey's knack for total
insanity. And I don't deny that there's probably a lot more risk involved with him than
there would be with you. In fact," she continued, nodding half to herself and half to him,
"I don't deny that probably, his being with Jen isn't a surprise or even a bad thing."
"Then why aren't we reaching the same conclusion?"
"Because," she said, "you seem to think that I have a choice in this, and I know that I
don't."
He frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Dawson, I didn't choose to fall in love with him in the first place. I didn't choose to need
him so much that my feet can't even find the ground when I can't be with him. I certainly
didn't choose not to be in love with you, given that everything you said is true, and being
in love with you would be so much easier than anything else I could do. The only thing I
can choose is what I do about it, and the worst thing I could do would be to get on a
plane with you and go to California just because I can't have him. That's what I did six
months ago, and I haven't done anything but regret it ever since." This last bit of
honesty was perhaps more than she should have said, but when you're trying to break
bricks, you need a heavy hammer.
Recovering from his fits of confusion, Dawson now stared back at her bitterly. "Well, I'm
sorry to hear that life on the West Coast was so painful for you. Far be it from me to
deny you your opportunity to throw your life into chaos. I mean, I guess I thought that
after watching your father and your mother and your sister all do the same thing, you
might be tempted to opt for something a little more rational, but I suppose it's just one of
those things. Blood is thicker than water, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, things
like that."
Neither of them had seen Pacey, who had let himself in through kitchen with the key that
Joey had never had the heart to take back, standing in the living room doorway. Now,
they both saw him as he crossed the room, yanked Dawson up from the couch by the
front of his shirt, and connected a single, clean punch to the jaw. Dawson fell backwards
and landed hard on the floor. "What the fuck is the matter with you, Dawson?" Pacey
shouted. "Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the things you're saying to her?"
"Pacey, it's -- it's all right," Joey stammered through confused tears. "It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me," Pacey insisted loudly. He turned his attention back to Dawson, who
was slowly standing up. "Do you sit around all day just storing up ways to take how
much people care about you and use it against them? God, I don't know anybody who