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PARTS OF THE PROMPT
First, let’s look at what this prompt asked you to do:
Read the following passage from Joyce Carol Oates’s novel We Were the
Mulvaneys (1996). Then, in a well-organized essay, analyze the literary
techniques Oates uses to characterize the speaker, Judd Mulvaney.
Support your analysis with specific references to the passage.
Before you even start annotating, you should identify the
CONCRETE and ABSTRACT parts of the question.
CONCRETE (i.e. what you are analyzing)
Literary techniques – left up to you – start with DIDLS!
No matter what – it is always expected that you address TONE.
ABSTRACT (i.e. what your analysis proves)
How Oates characterizes Judd Mulvaney
Also, remember ATTT! (Author, Title, Type, Time)
Joyce Carol Oates is a lady, not a man! Missing the gender of the
writer is a sure sign you didn’t give the prompt more than a moment’s
glance. Also, you’re not on a first name basis with the writer, so use her
last name in reference.

You DO NOT have time to just read! You must read and THINK!
If you’ve taken time to break down the prompt, then you should know
what you’re looking for during your read through of the passage.
Make an annotation key.
Looking at your annotations, was there a systematic way that you mark
quotes for different literary techniques you identified?
Here you could have color-coded, but on the AP Test all you have it a
pen. Come up with a way to make a key, so you have a visual road map
for your thoughts. Use boxes, circles, underlines, squiggles – whatever
works FOR YOU to break it apart.
So now that you’ve done all this work, you have to USE IT.
Everything you write in your essay should be directed from what you’ve
annotated.
You don’t have to use everything you’ve marked, but at least you’ve
given yourself options. You’ve got to do the editing in your head though!

IMPORTANT LITERARY TECHNIQUES USED
You could have just gone with the basics (DIDLS): diction,
imagery, details, language, and syntax
Word choice unusual for a young boy
Nature-based sensory language
Repetition of key phrases
Mixture of fragments and run-ons
UNIQUE LITERARY TECHNIQUES USED
Or you could stretch yourself and look for the things “outside of
the box” of normal literary analysis
Use of asides in the parentheses
“Stream of consciousness” thinker
Death motif

TONE – GLOOMY, PESSIMISTIC, THOUGHTFUL, LONELY, ETC.
TONE is defined as the writer or speaker’s attitude toward the subject
and audience.
Why is this important? Tone is where all roads lead in analysis.
The key for tone is identifying which tone is for what purpose. The tone
towards the audience and the subject don’t have to be the same and
usually are not!
Tone towards himself?
Tone towards his subject of the realization of death’s affects?
CHARACTERIZATION OF JUDD MULVANEY – UNIQUELY AWARE,
LONELY, BURDENED WITH KNOWLEDGE, ETC.
Why is this important? It’s the part you’re proving by analyzing these
techniques.

Chunky, isolation of strategies and parts – You’re looking at the piece as
a whole, so analyze it by working through it from start to finish. Don’t isolate the
elements (i.e. diction paragraph, tone paragraph, etc), but blend them together
because that’s how they operate in the piece. Look for shifts in the narration as
natural breaking points for your analysis.
Vague, laundry list thesis statements – Your thesis is the foundation of
your paper. If you thesis is not specific enough, how can you expect your
argument to be?
Vague – Oates characterizes Judd Mulvaney as a lonely and thoughtful boy; she achieves this by
using the literary techniques of repetition, syntax, imagery, and point of view.
So, basically you’re saying she used words that were some times repeated with sentences that were
structured and they all painted pictures for the audience of Judd’s view.
Specific – …the main character, Judd Mulvaney, is characterized as a slightly eccentric, scatterbrained
individual with great adoration for his family, which is shown through Oates’s use of
repetition of key phrases, peculiar syntax, and a complete interior dialogue that is shown to the
reader.
Don’t define terms – Know your audience! The reader of your timed writing is
educated; therefore, a lesson in language analysis vocabulary is unnecessary.
Refrain from using those nonessential appositives after terminology.

Not enough evidence – One piece of evidence is not enough to be
representative for a whole strategy or a paragraph. You need to use snippets of
evidence throughout the piece.
Too much evidence – Evidence must be balanced with analysis. You can’t
just sprinkle quotes in at random to “spice up” your essay. They have to have a
purpose and add to your analysis. Additionally, avoid using whole sentences
unless you’re going to break it down into smaller segments. Otherwise, it’s
obvious that you’re just using up space to increase the size of your paragraph.
Sketchy evidence – One to two word quotes are shady at best. How does the
reader know that you have not taken them out of context? What can you
realistically analyze about a single word?
Generalizations & Oversimplifications – Remember, just because it
happens once in a piece, doesn’t mean it hold true throughout the entire work.
Writer’s arguments are complex; there are shifts in tone and purpose that have
to be taken into account.
Unnecessary Summary – Just like in your formal essays, the reader doesn’t
need an interpreter to tell us what we’ve just read. Use your intro to identify that
you understand the basics of the argument so that the body of your essay is free
to analyze it.