Announcing 'Stammering Research' - Stammering Research - UCL

Stammering Research. Vol. 1.
House in 1993 to repeat the course. I started to take on board the idea that I must look after myself if I
was going to care for my speech.
The key is to adopt a slow and steady life-style and keep tensions in check. Diet and exercise are
important and the ability to relax and keep calm. I found that Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic
Programming dealt with my negative feelings. I was taught to visualise my anger, change its shape,
colour and texture and turn my bad feelings into good ones. I now do self-hypnosis every day. It
brings a fantastic aura - a feeling of lightness - as if a big weight has been lifted off you. My stammer
is now under control. I am a fluent speaker with an occasional stammer, rather than a stammerer with
little fluency. I have made a friend of the stammer and stopped punishing myself. It is a huge relief to
have reached this stage.
HELEN
Helen is in her thirties and married with a teenage daughter. Vivacious and attractive, she enjoys
life, which is refreshing and exhilarating. Helen is certainly tremendous fun, and keen to involve
others in having a good time. She is compassionate and caring, having a positive influence on others.
In the past, Helen trained as a dress designer and still undertakes commissions. She is investigating a
future in media presentation now that her speech has improved. This interview reveals some of the
early influences affecting speech development.
Question: Helen, what are your first memories about stammering?
Answer: I first remember stammering at kindergarten, when I was three years old. Others teased me by
mimicking what I said. This was a bad time in my life. My mother had been run over by a tram and
had had three toes chopped off. She was six months in plaster and I had to take over the chores at
home. I peeled the potatoes, made the beds and cleaned the house, even though I was just a small
child. This put a big burden on me and I can remember being upset and I suppose worried. My speech
was full of hesitations and others noticed this and gave me more grief. My childhood was not happy -
quite the reverse. I had a very unkind stepfather who constantly taunted me and was physically cruel.
My half-sister did not have any communication problems. Life was a great deal easier for her. No one
really understood me as a stammer was unknown in the family history and my relatives did not know
how to deal with it and consequently with me.
When I was six years old my mother took me to see a speech therapist. She told my mother not to
worry about my speaking. I would grow out of the problem. This was no help at all as I just grew into
it. My hesitations turned into blocks. I sometimes could not get out words at all. So much for the
professional advice of speech therapists!
Question: Helen, do you see your stammer as an issue for life?
Answer: Until I attended the Apple House the answer would have been ‘Yes’. Now I’ve conquered
my stammer - as if by magic it has disappeared. I never knew when it would pop up and it was so
perverse. Sometimes I couldn’t say certain words, at other times it was vowel sounds, words with ‘s’ or
double consonants like ‘dr’. It made life very difficult as I didn’t know when the ‘stammer hit squad’
would descend.
It is quite amazing, as the stammer was with me for so long and was the only blight in my life.
Since marrying my present husband, life has been wonderful. I have a fantastic partner, a beautiful,
talented daughter and a lovely home. I am able to indulge the pursuits I enjoy - riding horses and
regular retail therapy! Now life is perfect - the stammer has flown away - I’ve said ‘goodbye’ to it.
It’s like getting rid of an irritating mother-in-law!
Question: Helen, how do you think about your stammer?
Answer: I think about it with hate. It’s a strong word, but no other will do to express my emotions. I
feel complete revulsion and detestation for the stammer. It is so unnerving to stammer and one is
always worried about the response of others to dysfluent speaking. You just cannot relax and enjoy life
as talking comes into everything that happens. Speech difficulty is a huge burden to carry through life.
It doesn’t attract the support and interest of some other problem areas. If you speak differently people
think you are a dumb brain. No wonder some people get very depressed about it. One of the chaps on
the course I did at the Apple House has experienced terrible bouts of depression. When I think about it,
I feel so angry that I was told that I would grow out of my speech problems. This was the opposite of
the truth. My stammer gave me the feeling of only having one leg. I was like someone in a wheelchair
- fairly handicapped. Now that I can speak without stammering it is as though I’ve grown another leg
and can go out now and wear short skirts!
Question: Helen, how has your stammer affected you most?
Answer: At school my academic performance was held back. It was impossible for me to read out in
class and I was regarded by others as ‘ a sad little creature’. I just took this label around with me. I
had the most horrible childhood and having a speaking problem was a final nail in the coffin. In spite
of this ‘baggage’ I carried around I was able to keep going. My life has made me tough and
determined. I grew up and trained as a dress designer and ran a successful business. However, if it
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