Announcing 'Stammering Research' - Stammering Research - UCL

Stammering Research. Vol. 1.
Answer: Before the Apple House course - I pictured my stammer as a one-eyed ugly creature that I
hated and loathed, which came up from the deep and bit me on the bum just when I didn’t want it to.
Now, I regard it in quite a friendly way, although I still hate it. I have it under control rather than it
controlling me and what I say. When I reflect on my stammer, I view it as a disturbance of thinking as
well as speaking performance. My thoughts are tangled and will not unravel so that they can be voiced
smoothly. A stammer is more than a disruption of speech rhythm as feelings and ideas lack a proper
pattern as well.
Question: John, how has your stammer affected you most?
Answer: It made me feel lonely and isolated as if I was the only person in the world with this problem.
Until I came to the Apple House I had only met one other person who spoke like me. My stammer
led to depressed moods preventing me enjoying parties and making small talk with others. As I’ve
said, it didn’t stop me going out with the opposite sex. I’ve had my fair share of girl friends in the past!
However, my stammer made it difficult for me to keep happy and buoyant. It was a constant reminder
that got me down.
Question: John, what made you seek help for your stammer?
Answer: In 1986, I was visiting the outpatient department of the hospital when I noticed a sign for
speech therapy. I enquired at reception and got myself an appointment through my doctor. I attended
the hospital clinic for individual therapy each week for one hour over three months. I found the
treatment helped me to feel happier about myself. I was taught to read fluently out loud which gave me
confidence in talking. Later, I had a personal counselling session at work and my boss asked me if I
wanted to do anything about my speech. I felt angry and annoyed about the suggestion but did agree to
inquiries being made. The firm contacted the Private Patients’ Plan, but they had nothing to offer. I
went back to my doctor who referred me to a speech therapist at my local hospital and as a result I was
transferred to the Apple House.
As soon as I came for my assessment with Gerda, I knew that help was on the way because she was
the first professional I had met who really understood what I was going through. At the start of the
fluency course I was so angry with everyone and felt at the end of my tether. I could not perform well
at home or work and did not want to communicate. Gerda made me aware of the fact that personal
issues, speaking activities and thought processes are all related and have to be considered together for
effective communication.
Question: John, can you tell me how has the Apple House course helped you?
Answer: The course was a last ditch attempt to sort myself out. It gave me a new lease of life. I felt
reborn. There was hope for me again and I felt as though I could fly. The days were very hard work
but there were strategies to make us strong. One that worked for me was the penny pieces. We were
all given ten to keep, but had to surrender one if we fluffed our speech when it could have been
avoided. I was so determined to hold on to mine - giving away a penny was like giving your soul away.
I was not going to let that happen!
We were introduced to so many new ideas and techniques. It was hard to master them. Correct
breathing, slowed speech, soft contacts, relaxation, inner peace and calm were all things to work at in
order to assume control of ourselves in all situations. The course offered us a window of opportunity.
The group allowed a powerful supportive bond to emerge and gave us chances to communicate with
each other and experience a range of talking and reading activities in a relaxed and unthreatening way.
This built confidence and the knowledge that we could think and speak coherently, saying what we
wanted at the right time. One to one therapy is not a natural situation and often becomes too intense
and threatening. The group experience is essential for personal support and practice.
By the seventh day of the course I felt I had cracked my problem speech. I knew what to do and
how to achieve the performance I wanted. The Apple House provided the perfect solution to my
difficulties - a total communication approach with ideal therapy input. The person who leads the
course is most important in the way they offer:
all the time you need to speak without rush
commitment that entails going out of their way to help
friendship alongside professional expertise
help, at any time, if you need it in a bad patch
The therapy gave me choices - to explore and analyse myself and take out the bad bits of my speech
and me and throw them away. I was left with what I liked. After the course I had developed huge selfesteem
and peace and calm within myself. It gave me the means to sort out all my other problems. It
was as though the mists in my head had lifted and I no longer considered myself as a stammerer.
Question: Did these good things started at the Apple House continue for you?
Answer: I was fine for seven months and then I hit a bad patch with some personal difficulties that I
had to cope with. However, I was determined to crack my problems. ‘The monster’ had been in
charge of me for 25 years, and I desperately wanted to reverse that situation. I returned to the Apple
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