Building Strong Families - University of Missouri Extension

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Building Strong Families Caring and Appreciation equal opportunity/ADA institution Family Strengths Handout #2 Caring and Appreciation, Page 1 Family members do positive things for one another just because they care. ACTIVITIES Caring Days: We all want to be loved in our own way. Family members themselves can tell us the special things that make them feel loved. Make lists of things that make you feel loved. Share your lists with family members and ask them to make a list of things that make them feel loved for all other family members. Begin having “Caring Days” on a regular basis. On each Caring Day, every family member picks one thing from each person’s list and does what it says. For example, if you pick backrub from someone’s list, you take time during Caring Day to give that person a back rub. If your daughter feels loved when you build sandcastles together, take some time on Caring Day to do that. Kindling Kindness. Kindness does not have to cost money. It can just be showing thoughtfulness and consideration. Make kindness a habit. Start by doing one kind act each day for a week, such as doing a chore for a family member, sitting with a new classmate at lunch or donating food and clothing to a local organization. Love Notes. Appreciation and love can help us feel good about ourselves. Love notes are one way to express those feelings and can help family members notice good things about each other. Suggest that family members recognize the things they like about each other. They may like the way a person behaves; admire their talents, skills, and achievements; or appreciate special qualities that make the person unique. Encourage all family members to express their feelings by writing short notes to each other about the things they notice. Tuck the notes under the person’s pillow or slip them into a backpack, lunch bag, briefcase, gym bag, or purse. Write at least one note to each family member every week.
equal opportunity/ADA institution Family Strengths Handout #2 Caring and Appreciation, Page 2 Pay attention to your children. Your children’s sense of self-worth influences their future. How they feel about themselves will affect their choice of friends, how they get along with others, and how well they use their abilities. Take time to talk to children, listen to them, and pay attention to their activities and interests. Find times when you are not hurried or tense and can focus on them. Express affection through physical contact. With babies this means holding and cuddling. As children get older, you can offer hugs, kisses, caresses, an arm over the shoulder, or a pat on the back. Sometimes the right words are hard to find, but a gentle hug says it all. Treat children with the same respect you show adults. Too often we reserve one set of manners for adults, and another for children. We may embarrass our children by scolding or criticizing them in front of others. Or we may get so involved in a conversation we forget their presence. Children are no less sensitive than adults and deserve the same kind of respect. Tell children from time to time that they’re appreciated. Don’t wait until they get good grades or limit your praise to their good looks or manners. Let them know you enjoy them and think they’re great all the time. Respond to children with patience and understanding. When your child spills his milk for the third time in a row, or hits his sister over the head with a toy shovel, it’s easy to treat him as a criminal. Try, though, to see the child as someone who needs your help in controlling his body and emotions. Respect children’s feelings and abilities. Because of their size, we can forget that children are people, too. They have a right to privacy and feelings of their own. We may have to remind ourselves not to carry children when they can get there under their own steam or to speak for them when they can speak for themselves.
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Building Strong Families - University of Missouri Extension

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