A Proposal to Reduce Unnecessary Divorce - Razorplanet

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54 24. Frank F. Furstenberg, Jr., and Andrew J. Cherlin, Divided Families: What Happens to Children When Parents Part (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1991), 21. 25. Diane Vaughn, Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships (Oxford and New York: Oxford University Press, 1986). 26. This point has been made by lawyers in the Family Law Marital Reconciliation Option Project. 27. John Crouch et al., “Divorce Rates and Laws: USA & Europe,” Divorce Reforms Page, Americans for Divorce Reform, http://www.divorcereform.org/compare.html. We computed the percentage difference in divorce rates from the table in this source. States with no waiting periods averaged 4.04 divorces per 1,000 population; those with waiting periods averaged 3.57 divorces per 1,000 population, a 12 percent difference. 28. Leora Friedberg, “Did Unilateral Divorce Raise Divorce Rates?: Evidence from Panel Data,” American Economic Review 88, no. 3 (June 1998): 608–27. 29. Thorsten Kneip and Gerritt Bauer, “Did Unilateral Divorce Laws Raise Divorce Rates in Western Europe?” Journal of Marriage and Family 71, no. 3 (August 2009): 592–607. The researchers found that de factor unilateral divorce, which they measured as changes in waiting periods that occurred in many countries before unilateral divorce was introduced into law, was the main factor increasing divorce, not the changes in law (de jure). 30. In addition, some studies lump together a variety of factors that inhibit divorce, such as fault proceedings, making it difficult to tease out the effects of waiting periods alone. 31. Robin Fretwell Wilson, “Evaluating Marriage: Does Marriage Matter to the Nurturing of Children?” San Diego Law Review 42, no. 3 (2005): 848–81. 32. For example, the results of a 2010 CBS News poll indicate that “a majority of Americans (53 percent) thinks getting a divorce is too easy and should be made more difficult to obtain than it is now, while one in four Americans thinks getting a divorce should be made easier. These numbers are similar to those found in polls conducted by the University of Chicago over the past 20 years.” CBS News, “Poll: 63% Know Spouse Who Cheated,” CBS News.com, January 8, 2010, http://www.cbsnews.com/ stories/2010/01/05/earlyshow/main6059795.shtml. 33. Richard Crouch, “Transcript of Clinton on Divorce Waiting Periods & Counseling, Politics of Divorce Prevention,” The Family Law News Blog, March 18, 2010, http:// familylaw.typepad.com/family_law_news/2010/03/transcript-of-clinton-on-divorcewaiting-periods-counseling-politics-of-divorce-prevention.html.
34. Mike McManus, How to Cut America’s Divorce Rate in Half…A Strategy Every State Should Adopt (Potomac, MD: Marriage Savers, Inc., 2008). 35. Linda J. Waite et al., Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages (New York: Institute for American Values, 2002), http://www. americanvalues.org/UnhappyMarriages.pdf. 36. The first author of this report is a marriage and family therapist with decades of experience as a counselor, teacher, and trainer of marriage counselors. He believes that marriage counseling when done well can be a good, healing modality for marriages, but that too often it is not done well. 37. William J. Doherty, “How Therapists Harm Marriages and What We Can Do about It,” Journal of Couples & Relationship Therapy 1, no. 2 (2002): 1–17. Licensed psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists, and clinical social workers have no required coursework or training in marriage counseling. Licensed marriage and family therapists have required coursework, but no clinical experience requirements in working with couples per se; state licensing requirements refer to working with “relational units,” which can mean parents and children. Although in practice marriage and family therapists are more likely than other licensed professionals to have experience in marriage counseling, some have little experience. 38. John Wall et al., “The Ethics of Relationality: The Moral Views of Therapists Engaged in Marital and Family Therapy,” Family Relations 48, no. 2 (April 1999): 139–49. 39. Poll conducted by random digit telephone techniques of 384 married Minnesotans in 2000. 40. For an alternative approach, see Michele Weiner-Davis, The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2001); and William J. Doherty, “Couples on the Brink: Stopping the Marriage-Go- Round,” Psychotherapy Networker (March/April 2006): 30–39, 70. Even among experienced marriage therapists who want to help couples reconcile if this can be done without risk for either spouse (a pro-commitment stance), many lack adequate ways to manage the familiar scenario when one spouse wants to save the marriage and the other is leaning towards divorce. They either hold back from helping the marriage because one spouse is resistant, or they side with the more committed spouse and alienate the ambivalent one. Even the major evidence-based models of couples therapy are not particularly useful in this situation, because they are based on studies that require both partners to be interested in working on the relationship. 41. An exception is pastoral counselors credentialed by the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, who have high levels of training, although not necessarily in marriage counseling per se. 55
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Page 6 and 7: 6 October 21, 2011 DEAR READER: As
Page 8 and 9: 8 MAJOR FINDINGS n About 40 percent
Page 10 and 11: 10 1. RESEARCH 1. RESEARCH FINDINGS
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Page 14 and 15: 14 These costs arise from increased
Page 16 and 17: 16 be interested in an “exit ramp
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Page 20 and 21: 20 2. RECOMMENDATIONS The remaining
Page 22 and 23: 22 In her classic qualitative study
Page 24 and 25: 24 Table 2 State Waiting Periods fo
Page 26 and 27: 26 5. States and nations with waiti
Page 28 and 29: 28 years but has remained in the ma
Page 30 and 31: 30 clergy, pastoral counselors asso
Page 32 and 33: 32 MARSHA: “What do you mean, tru
Page 34 and 35: 34 communication and conflict manag
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Page 38 and 39: 38 Marriage education programs have
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Page 42 and 43: 42 3. MODEL LEGISLATION FOR THE SEC
Page 44 and 45: 44 A BILL ESTABLISHING A CENTER TO
Page 46 and 47: 46 o I am experiencing an emergency
Page 48 and 49: 48 education program is responsible
Page 50 and 51: 50 justice leah Ward Sears was the
Page 52 and 53: 52 divorce was determined by multip
Page 56 and 57: 56 42. Susan L. Pollet and Melissa
Page 58: 58 61. More on “hopeful spouse co
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