A Proposal to Reduce Unnecessary Divorce - Razorplanet

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years but has remained in the marriage. An official Early Notification and Divorce
Prevention Letter might get such an individual’s attention, and encourage
him to get serious about addressing his illness in a way that continued verbal
attempts by his wife alone have not.
Other evidence supports the idea that such a tool could be useful. In a focus
group study of marriages that nearly, but did not, end in which at least one
of the spouses reported that the marriage was now happy, several wives said
their husbands got serious about their marriage’s fate only when they went to
divorce lawyers. It is telling that in this sample of still-married couples, more
than one wife recalled that the attorney she consulted did not advise filing for
divorce immediately but rather suggested she tell her husband that a divorce
was imminent unless he got serious about making changes. 35 Such advice
might be one reason the marriage is still together. The Early Notification and
Divorce Prevention Letter that we propose would offer spouses a legally recognized
protocol for accomplishing this goal—and it would give divorce lawyers
another option to offer clients they sense are only reluctantly pursuing divorce.
At this point, let us caution that as much as waiting periods and early notification
can be helpful and feasible for states to enact, it is crucial that they be
accompanied by services to assist couples who are on the brink of divorce. Although
some unnecessary divorces will likely be prevented with waiting periods
and early notification alone, we believe more can be prevented if couples
learn new skills and connect with resources in their community to improve
their marriages. In the remaining sections of this report we offer our recommendations
concerning education and reconciliation services.
PROVIDE EDUCATION ABOUT THE RECONCILIATION OPTION
When people think about how to save marriages, they often think of marriage
counseling. Given that there are already thousands of therapists who do marriage
counseling in every state in the nation, some might ask why we propose
to require something called “reconciliation education.”
Why the Current Marriage Counseling Model Is Not Sufficient
The most commonly available resource for couples in the midst of a divorce
crisis is marriage counseling. These counselors might be members of the