A Proposal to Reduce Unnecessary Divorce - Razorplanet

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be interested in an “exit ramp” or at least a “rest stop” on the divorce superhighway.
Some of these couples seemed to need and even want time to explore
the reconciliation option. When Judge Peterson looked at his own court
system, widely acknowledged as a progressive one, he saw attempts to meet
nearly every need of divorcing couples—legal and financial assistance, protection
orders, parenting education, and more—except for reconciliation. 15
INTRIGUED BY THIS KNOWLEDGE GAP, an author of this report, William Doherty of
the University of Minnesota, recently began with his colleagues to investigate
what, if any, interest there might be in reconciliation among divorcing couples.
Their surprising findings suggest that policy makers and divorce professionals
may have given up too soon on the prospects for couples on the brink of
divorce. 16
The team set out to identify how many parents in the divorce process believe
that restoring their marriage is still possible and if they might be interested
in services to help them reconcile. A sample of 2,484 divorcing parents completed
surveys following their currently required parenting classes. About one
in four individual parents indicated some belief (responding “yes” or “maybe”)
that their marriage could still be saved, and in about one in nine couples both
partners did. As for interest in reconciliation services, about three in ten individual
parents indicated potential interest. Among couples, about one in three
had one partner interested but not the other, and in over 10 percent of couples
both partners indicated some degree of interest in reconciliation services. 17
The majority of participants took the parenting class, and thus completed the
project’s survey, toward the end of the divorce process. The fact that a significant
minority of individuals and couples surveyed even well into the divorce process
expressed interest in learning more about reconciliation suggests that the proportion
of couples open to reconciliation might be even higher at the outset of the
divorce process—before the process itself has caused additional strife.
In order to gain a more nuanced look at divorcing people’s attitudes towards
divorce and reconciliation, Professor Doherty and colleagues developed a typology
of different attitudes toward getting divorced and surveyed an additional
group of divorcing parents after they completed the parenting classes. The
language of the four attitudes was developed in consultation with a group of
divorce attorneys with many years of experience. Parents were asked to check
which one of the following attitudes was closest to their own: