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Conversations with Avant-garde Sages - The Wizard LLC

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<strong>Conversations</strong> <strong>with</strong> <strong>Avant</strong>-<strong>garde</strong> <strong>Sages</strong><br />

WIZARD: Yes, I was born in 1939, so we're the same, came along<br />

<strong>with</strong> the same wave.<br />

TRIP: Muz, you write so well, and the way you write is the kind of<br />

writing that I love which is real life, it's dramatic. It just really<br />

appeals to me. I'm going to read something that you wrote about<br />

your childhood. It's good, it's about a page, and I'm going to read<br />

it because it strikes that tone that I feel so many young people like<br />

me had, and the <strong>Wizard</strong> too. You wrote, "I dragged myself through<br />

the mean streets (London) of what others considered the "real<br />

world" as if through purgatorial treacle (molasses).<br />

School was an asylum for psychological misfits called teachers who<br />

attempted to rule by screaming, hurling books, endless canings, or<br />

hissing threats, which created a white-out in my mind, rendering<br />

me incapable of learning school subjects for many years. Was this<br />

how life was meant to be lived, I wondered, but what else was<br />

there? Being sent to Sunday school and subjected to this<br />

sugarcoated evangelism of Christian good-bodies did nothing to<br />

fill the gap, but only increased my desolation of soul. For even<br />

then at the age of seven or eight, I perceived <strong>with</strong> a nauseous<br />

certainty that they neither understood nor truly believed what they<br />

were telling us kids, but needed us to believe them to make them<br />

feel secure. <strong>The</strong> disgust that this inspired in me created a deepseated<br />

aversion to evangelism and all things even faintly smelling<br />

of religion for all of my teenage years.<br />

I grew up considering myself a professional atheist, I was anti-<br />

God, and anti-religion and proud of it, therefore my about-face<br />

was all the more miraculous to me when it occurred. It was years<br />

before I realized that atheism was as much a conditioned religion<br />

of ignorance as any mindless religious fundamentalism. What I'd<br />

always been seeking unknowingly was spirituality as opposed to<br />

religiosity, but I had always derived some spiritual solace from<br />

nature. Perhaps I had the makings of a mystic even as a teenager<br />

as I used to regularly get up at dawn and cycle out of the city to the<br />

woods and sit there for an hour or so listening to the sounds of the<br />

natural world awakening. Or I would go to my favorite spinney at<br />

421

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