Conversations with Avant-garde Sages - The Wizard LLC

Conversations with Avant-garde Sages
eyed about your spiritual lineage, and in your case it's Gurumayi,
in your case it's Jamesy. But these two human beings came into
your lives and you got blessed, Jan, from Gurumayi, just like
melted you down. And you were served by Jamesy in a way that
no other human had ever served you. And there seems to be this
really special place in your heart for those people and those events,
and from where I sit there's a little bit of storyline identification
there. Tell me I'm wrong.
WIZARD: Take the message, and leave the messenger and you
won't offend the messenger if the messenger is true.
TRIP: Where do you come down on it, Jan, because you go back
and forth with Gurumayi? I mean, does Gurumayi do anything or
have anything that you don't, is she more established than you, or
what is it, I'm curious?
JAN: I realize you're asking me from the context of the book,
which is what you have. So I don't know whether to answer it
from within that, or from how it is for me now. My orientation to
what happened with Gurumayi, and what I was given by her,
whatever role she played for me. I'm much more in not knowing
now than I was at the time. It doesn't mean I'm any less grateful
to her than I was at the time I wrote the book. It's just to say that,
it’s like when I asked to be relieved of fear, it looked like my asking
that caused it. I'm much less inclined to point to particular things
and say, this, in this case my relation with Gurumayi, caused
something. I'm not enamored of that story anymore, or much of
any story.
I understand what you're saying, so in other words I agree with
what you're saying and with your observation of what you see
happening in the book. Pretty soon after I woke up it felt that less
and less, the whole tradition that I'd come from felt less and less
important to me. That's not at all a put down or dismissal or
anything, I'm just talking about on a feeling level, I stopped feeling
a part of it, or I stopped feeling beholden to it or anything like that.
But I think in the time when it was important to me, before, it was
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