Disclosure of Hiv status to sexual partners among people who ...

4.5.1. Fear of blame or disappointing the partner
Some participants acknowledged that they were afraid to bear the blame for bringing the
infection into the family. The participants were also afraid of being accused of cheating.
During the interviews, the female participants especially indicated this fear. One
participant whose partner had another wife and children said:
Although someone told me that my husband had lost a spouse and child, I tried to
ask him about this and he denied. I was therefore not sure that I should disclose
to him because I was afraid that he would blame me for infecting him and his
other wife with HIV [Female 32 years, polygamous relationship]
Another female participant who feared to disclose to the partner re-echoed that fear.
I suggested that both of us go for HIV testing and he said that he had already
tested and was found HIV negative. The fact that he was reluctant to go with me
and was living with another woman made me hesitant to disclose to him
[Female, 46 years, cohabiting]
The fear of blame or disappointing the partner was not only mentioned by female
participants, some men also acknowledged this fear. One of the participants who had lost
a spouse after going through a stressful time of partner rejection and neglect said:
..I feared she would blame me and probably neglect me like my late wife did
[Male, 50 years, cohabiting]
Two of the male participants were also concerned about their partners’ reactions.
Another said:
She is expecting a baby; I should not upset her now when she is heavy.
[Male, 27 years, cohabiting]
I did not feel comfortable raising such an issue to her. It would be easier to
suggest that we take an HIV test than disclose to her that I already knew my
serostatus. Since she is still young too, this would make her feel bitter, shatter her
life and she would blame me and probably break up with me
[Male, 22 years, has a steady partner]
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