Disclosure of Hiv status to sexual partners among people who ...

4.2.2 Reactions after receiving HIV Test Results
Participants had various reactions when they received HIV positive results; for most of
them, the news was emotionally devastating. Among both categories of participants who
had disclosed to the partners and those who had not, were those who said they felt very
sad, frightened, traumatised, angry and bitter. Two participants actually admitted that
they wanted to commit suicide. The participants related feeling distraught and shattered
at the prospect of dying soon or young, without having accomplished their life goals or
expectations.
It felt very sad to imagine dying soon because I was young with many
responsibilities and wanted to have children, raise them and realise many of my
dreams. [Male, 27years, co-habiting]
Another participant recounted her ordeal after receiving her results, as well as her father’s
consequent withdrawal of support.
When I got the results I was very much traumatised. My distress was made worse
when my father told me immediately after I got the results that there was no more
support for me and he now preferred to focus his attention on my siblings. My
family members mistreated me, isolated me and nobody wanted to have anything
to do with me. I therefore started contemplating suicide.
[Female, 35 years, married]
Infidelity was reported to contribute to conflicts in marriage. Some of the participants
were angry and reported that it was a reaction against the fact that their partners had not
disclosed to them and yet they kept hearing rumours about their involvement with HIV
infected partners.
I felt bitter and was angry with my late husband. He had got involved with a
woman who was infected and this annoyed me. I even wanted to commit suicide
because I didn’t know how I was going to live with the infection.
[Female, 42 years, co-habiting]
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