BIOGRAPHY of ST GEMMA GALGANI - Get a Free Blog
BIOGRAPHY of ST GEMMA GALGANI - Get a Free Blog
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‘It is some time since I began to think that Jesus was inspiring me to ask <strong>of</strong> Him a certain grace. I shall do<br />
what you say; but I believe you will see that there will be no harm in permitting me to make the request. I feel<br />
sure that you will have many objections to put forward; such as, that I have grown thin, that it is not<br />
necessary; but they have no weight. Listen; do you agree that I ask Jesus to grant me the grace never again<br />
to experience any taste in any food? Father, this grace is necessary for me. I hope Jesus will tell you to grant<br />
it to me. However it be I shall be satisfied. '<br />
Her Guardian Angel asked her for a pro<strong>of</strong> <strong>of</strong> her love for Jesus, and this is how she sought from Father<br />
Germanus an explanation <strong>of</strong> what this meant: , Yesterday at the end <strong>of</strong> my meditation, I was making as usual<br />
resolutions to love Jesus with all my heart. "Well then," said my Angel, " we shall soon see whether you will<br />
prove your resolutions." I told this to my confessor, but even he does not know to what he referred. Please<br />
tell me if you know.'<br />
And here is another example <strong>of</strong> her pleasing simplicity in speaking <strong>of</strong> sublime things. 'On Friday my<br />
confessor asked me some questions about the mystery <strong>of</strong> the most Holy Trinity. I was very much confused.<br />
But how well Jesus knew how to whisper in my ear! We were lost in wonder, humiliating ourselves before the<br />
great majesty <strong>of</strong> God.'<br />
The reasons she gives for the love God bestows upon her make even more manifest her inimitable<br />
ingenuousness. She speaks as an orphan child might speak. 'He loves me; He loves me very much. He<br />
loves me because I have neither father nor mother; He loves me because I am a poor creature, and, finally,<br />
He loves me because I am so wicked, and in His sight the wicked are more welcome than the good.' The<br />
reader will easily understand in what sense these last words must be taken.<br />
PREY TO FEARS<br />
But this ingenuous child reposing at peace in the arms <strong>of</strong> her heavenly Father was yet a prey to fear. She<br />
was afraid <strong>of</strong> deceiving or <strong>of</strong> being deceived. Not that she feared she had given occasion for such deception.<br />
She feared because others were afraid. , I doubt because the others doubt,' she said in an ecstasy to Jesus.<br />
'If it be really You, Jesus, do please make Thyself clearly known. . . . We cannot go on this way, neither I nor<br />
the confessor.'<br />
To find peace <strong>of</strong> mind she opened up her difficulties to her director. We shall choose a few extracts here and<br />
there. 'Father, I am afraid, very much afraid <strong>of</strong> losing my soul, because yesterday<br />
I heard a priest who came to see the mother relate that there was a nun who had marks in her hands, her<br />
feet, her head and heart, and who used to go into ecstasy, and that it was all a deception. Can it be, Father,<br />
that I am a deceiver? If I am a deceiver I shall go to Hell. I should like you to explain to me what a deceiver<br />
is, because I do not want to deceive anyone.' And when he was paying a visit to the Tomb <strong>of</strong> St. Gabriel, she<br />
wrote to him: ' Act like this: Go to his tomb, to his body, and order him thus through obedience: " Tell me what<br />
I am to do about Gemma?" And then when you come back you will write and tell me what he said, won't<br />
you ?' On another occasion in similar circumstances, she wrote: ' The first thing you ought to do, Father, is to<br />
place in his hands (St. Gabriel's) the important affair <strong>of</strong> my salvation; ask him whether I have any hope <strong>of</strong><br />
being saved, and not. to allow me to be deceived, nor allow my director to be deceived in guiding me in the<br />
present manner.'<br />
These fears sometimes caused her extreme torment. She wrote:<br />
'This morning I was awake very early. Suddenly a multitude <strong>of</strong> thoughts such as these began to assail me : "<br />
And if I was deceived ?if all the things that happen to me would but lead me to ruin-if my director was<br />
deceived? " And this struggle lasted until, do you know what hour, Father? Until five o'clock. I do not know<br />
where Jesus was; He did not speak even half a word to me. In the end He showed a little compassion, and<br />
withdrawing my senses somewhat made me hear these words: "My daughter, do not fear. It is I who am<br />
working in you. I shall never abandon you; live in peace <strong>of</strong> mind." Father, ask Jesus whether it was He or<br />
another who spoke these words.'<br />
Dear Gemma, your very fears constitute the best argument for the sincerity <strong>of</strong> your spirit and the authenticity<br />
<strong>of</strong> your virtues!<br />
DIVINE FAMILIARITY<br />
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