BIOGRAPHY of ST GEMMA GALGANI - Get a Free Blog

Gemma desired to enter a convent in order that she might be able to suffer there, and in particular that she
might be able to suffer with Jesus the torments of His most Sacred Passion. She did not realize that the
mysterious things that were happening to her constituted an obstacle, especially in the eyes of those who did
not understand them. 'Nearly every morning when He comes, Jesus makes me suffer,' she wrote on another
occasion. ' This morning He said to me twice: "When do you want Me to increase your sufferings?" I did not
answer. If I were in a convent I should have said: " 0 Jesus, do indeed increase my pains and sufferings, but
increase also my strength." For if I were in a convent I should have had courage enough to say it. If I could
suffer alone it would be all right. It is, indeed, only I who suffer, but there are many who are thereby
disturbed. I do not know how to explain myself here. Do you understand me? '
She seized every opportunity to manifest her desire to be a nun. One by one several of her companions had
entered the convent, leaving her in the world. This fact made her pour out her heart to Father Germanus: 'So
many of my friends have had, like me, a vocation to be a religious. They are all about my age, and have all
been received. I alone remain. I cry when I think of it. I do not want to cry, you know, because my Guardian
Angel does not wish it, but the tears come of their own accord. How I long to be in a convent also! '
She heard that the Passionist nuns were about to open a novitiate at Tarquinia, and she therefore wrote
again: 'Is there any hope of a place being kept for the lowliest child of St. Paul? I will be good, you know, and
obedient always. Tell the nuns that I desire to serve them, that I will be their servant. You know I can work, I
can sweep, wash the dishes, draw and carry water and also sew. I will be obedient to everyone, to all. Will
you tell them to take me? Tell them that I suffer so much! '
Just as she asked Father Peter Paul Moreschini, the Provincial of the Passionists, the first time she met him
to use his influence with the nuns at Tarquinia to have her accepted as a lay sister, so also she now sought
the intercession of anyone whom she thought could help her. Thus she wrote the following letter to
Monsignor Volpi:
‘Monsignor, will you have pity on me, and find some means of putting me away from the world. I cannot live
any longer like this. I cannot be with Jesus as much as I should like, do you believe me? I cannot bear it any
more. Find a place for me somewhere. I will work, I will be the servant of the nuns. I will do anything, but do
take me away from the world. Because I am not in a convent I cannot feel satisfied. There was one thing. I
wanted to say to you this morning, but I did not venture to do so. Yesterday evening a Father who has just
returned from Rome said that the Passionist nuns are going to open their novitiate in October. N. N. spoke
about it this morning and has an idea of being there. What about me? Father, would it please you if I went
there by myself? I should like to go and ask them to take me even as a slave, for that would suit me best.
Please give me this permission? They will take me, you know, for when I am there I shall go and see the
Father, and if he uses his influence they will not send me away. You will let me go, won't you? Listen, the
Father Provincial spoke to you about a lay sister who would be suitable for the Passionists, and you named
one immediately. Do not forget me, for I am ready to go. Do send me, please? I will be able to do everything;
rest assured of that. May I write immediately?"
The following letter written to a religious Superior on the same subject is certainly touching:
‘Father, it is a long time now since I began to have a great desire to become a Passionist nun. If you knew
how I suffer at seeing the time pass without any definite arrangement being made -I can bear it no longer;
the thought of it wears me out. . . . And do you know the most weighty reason given for my rejection? The
first is because I am sick. But Jesus has promised that I shall be cured as soon as I enter the convent, and
that nothing out of the ordinary will happen until after I have been professed. The other reason is that I have
no parents, and am without a dowry. I have no one to help me. I have only one thing, an intense longing that
keeps me always unsettled.'
This desire did not grow less keen. She spoke of it to everyone. She was hoping, no doubt, that she would at
length find someone who would open the doors of the convent to her. To a friend in Rome, a pious lady, she
wrote: 'On the last Friday of November, the Holy Face will be unveiled. I hope that you will be able to come,
and if you think it is according to the Will of God, take me back with you and put me in a convent down there
near you.' To Annetta Giannini she had already written: 'I am always praying to Jesus that He will hasten the
day so long and so much desired by me when I shall be able to enter a convent, because I feel that all will
not be well with me in the world, and that I can never be really contented in it.' In a letter to her sister-in-law,
Assunta, on the occasion of the latter's marriage, she mentions her vocation: 'I feel,' she wrote, 'that I can
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