old-path-white-clouds-thich-nhat-hanh

Chapter Thirty-Three
Beauty That Does Not Fade
Two weeks before the rainy retreat ended, a woman of uncommon beauty paid a visit to the Buddha. She arrived in a white carriage pulled
by two white horses, and was accompanied by a youth who appeared to be about sixteen years old. Her manner of dress and her bearing
were refined and elegant. She asked a young bhikkhu to show her the way to the Buddha’s hut, but when they arrived there, the Buddha
had not yet returned from his walking meditation. The bhikkhu invited the woman and the boy to sit on bamboo chairs in front of the hut.
Shortly afterwards the Buddha returned, accompanied by Kaludayi, Sariputta, and Nagasamala. The woman and youth stood and
bowed respectfully. The Buddha invited them to sit again as he sat down on a third bamboo chair. He understood that this woman was
Ambapali and that the youth was King Bimbisara’s son, Jivaka.
Kaludayi had never seen a woman more beautiful in all his life. He had only taken vows as a bhikkhu a month earlier, and he was
confused as to whether or not it was proper for a bhikkhu to look at a beautiful woman. Unsure of what to do, he lowered his eyes to the
ground. Nagasamala reacted in the same way. Only the Buddha and Sariputta looked directly into the woman’s eyes.
Sariputta looked at Ambapali and then at the Buddha. He saw how natural and relaxed the Buddha’s gaze was. His face was as serene
as a beautiful full moon. The Buddha’s eyes were kind and clear. Sariputta felt as though the Buddha’s contentment, ease, and joy
penetrated Sariputta’s own heart in that instant.
Ambapali looked directly into the Buddha’s eyes as well. No one had ever looked at her in the way the Buddha was looking at her now.
As long as she could remember, men had gazed at her with either embarrassment or desire in their eyes. But the Buddha looked at her as
he might look at a cloud, a river, or a flower. She had the impression that he could see deeply into her heart’s thoughts. She joined her
palms and introduced herself and her son. “I am Ambapali, and this is my son, Jivaka, who is studying to become a doctor. We have heard
much about you, and we have both looked forward to this moment.”
The Buddha asked Jivaka about his studies and daily life. Jivaka answered politely. The Buddha could see that he was a kind-hearted
and intelligent boy. Though he shared the same father as Prince Ajatasattu, it was evident he possessed a character of greater depth than
the young prince. Jivaka’s heart filled with respect and affection for the Buddha. He told himself that when he finished his medical studies,
he would settle near the Buddha at Bamboo Forest.
Before she met him, Ambapali had assumed the Buddha would be like so many other famous teachers she had met. But she had never
before met anyone like the Buddha. His gaze was unspeakably tender and kind. She felt as though he could understand all the sufferings
locked inside her heart. Much of her pain was soothed just by the way he looked at her. Tears glistened on her eyelashes as she said,
“Teacher, my life has been filled with suffering. Though I have never lacked for money or possessions, I have not felt anything to aspire to
until now. Today is the happiest day of my life.”
Ambapali was an accomplished singer and dancer, but she would not perform for just anyone. If someone’s manner or behavior
displeased her, she refused to perform no matter how much gold they might offer. When she was sixteen years old, she became involved in
a love affair that ended in heart-break. Soon afterwards she met the young Prince Bimbisara, and they fell in love. She gave birth to their
son, Jivaka. But no one in the palace wanted to accept Ambapali and her son. Some members of the palace household even spread rumors
that Jivaka was no more than an abandoned orphan that the prince had rescued from a barrel by the side of the road. Ambapali was hurt
by these accusations. She endured humiliation caused by the jealousy and hatred of others in the palace. Soon she saw that her freedom
was the only thing worth guarding. She refused to live in the palace and vowed that she would never relinquish her personal freedom to
anyone.
Ambapali had the impression that the Buddha could see deeply into her heart’s thoughts.