Measures for Progress: A History of the National Bureau of Standards

440 THE NEW WORLD OF SCIENCE (1946-51)
Dr. Condon was not to project a father image as had Stratton, soften.
ing the severity of his strictures. He was not to capture cooperation by his
appeal for help, as had Burgess, or to inspire devotion by his presence, as had
Briggs. Genial, gracious, and the world's best company away from his desk,
Dr. Condon brought to an organization largely staffed with experimental
physicists the new-broom outlook of the theoretical physicist. Perhaps more
than most at the Bureau, he was aware that the war years had revolutionized
science and scientific thought and, always a prolific writer, he had for some
Appropriations Committee?" Dr. Condon could only deny it had been exciting; it had
been rather depressing (p. 2237).
Prior to that questioning, Dr. Condon had talked steadily for over 2 hours (pp. 2158—2181)
on the scope of activities of the Bureau, in answer to the repeated queries of the sub.
committee: "What does a 'Bureau of Standards' mean?" "Does the Bureau's work
embrace all of science and technology?"
At the next year's hearing, in March 1947, Congressman Karl Stefan of Nebraska
replaced Rabaut as chairman. Stefan requested that Dr. Condon use layman's language
before the committee, and raised again the joke about the scientist and the plumber,
alleging that in reply to a New York plumber who had asked the Bureau about the
use of hydrochloric acid for clearing drainage stoppages, a Bureau physicist had an-
swered: "The efficacy of hydrochloric acid is indisputable, but the corrosive residue
is incompatible with metallic permanence." Assuming that meant it was all right,
the plumber wrote thanking the Bureau. The Bureau supposedly replied "We can-
not assume responsibility for the production of toxic and noxious residue with hydro-
chloric acid and suggest you use an alternative procedure." The plumber wrote that
he agreed with the Bureau: hydrochloric acid worked fine. Frightened at what might
happen to the drainage of New York skycrapers, the Bureau was alleged to have
resorted finally to simple speech: "Don't use hydrochloric acid. It eats hell out of the
pipes." (Hearings * * * 1948, p. 289). The joke was brought to Dr. Condon's atten-
tion in each of the next 2 (Hearings * * * 1949, p. 538; Hearings * * * 1950,
p.493).
Representative Walt Horan of the State of Washington quizzed Dr. Condon about the
purpOse of the Bureau: "The title 'Bureau of Standards' should have some meaning.
Otherwise we are going to get lost in a maelstrom of scientific research. What does
'Bureau of Standards' mean?" Continuing the questioning at the next hearing, Congress-
man Stefan advised Dr. Condon: "Give it to us as Dr. Briggs used to do * * * so we
can understand." At that and subsequent hearings, Dr. Condon was told, "Remember,
we are laymen" (Hearings * * * 1948, p. 299; Hearings * * 1949, p. 526; Hear-
ings * * * 1950, p. 485).
Few men have written more clearly and simply about the complexities of modern physics
or are more lucid in general exposition on any subject than Dr. Condon. His sole public
rejoinder to his "problem of relations with Congress" occurred in a speech on Sept. 25,
1951, wherein he urged at some length the establishment of a committee of Congress
concerned exclusively with science and scientific research in the Government (Physics
Today, 5, 6, 1952).