When the Shoe Fits - Oshorajneesh.com

CHAPTER 10. MAN IS A BORN IN TAO
like a prince. Still the world has not entered, but the whole world is pulling you into insecurity and
sooner or later you will have to be thrown out of the university. It is not accidental that all over
the world people call the university ’the Mother’. It is meaningful. It is the mother – you are still a
child, and the society is taking care of you. But still, every day you are moving more and more into
insecurity.
Mother love has a security. The mother will love you whether you love her or not. It is a one-way
traffic, she will love you naturally. But now you will have to seek a woman who will not love you
naturally. You will have tO love her. If you need love you will have to give love. With a mother it was
different, everything was taken for granted. But with another woman, it is not going to be so; you will
have to earn your love with this woman, that’s why there is a constant fight. A man wants his wife to
be just like his mother. But why should she be a mother to him? She is not a mother, she is a wife.
And she is in the same situation – she wants the man, the husband, to be her father.
What is the meaning of it?
A mother’s love is unconditional. It is given to you, she shares. A father’s love is unconditional – just
because you are his child, he loves you, there is no need to earn it. But when you move into the
world you have to earn a husband’s love, a wife’s love. And any moment it can be withdrawn. Fear,
insecurity.... Hence marriage has come into existence because lovers are so insecure they want
legal sanction. So the government protects them, the society protects them. Otherwise what would
be the need for marriage? If love is really there, you need not get married. Why? There is a fear that
the love may be here today but who knows about tomorrow? And if love goes, then what will you
do? Who will you fall back on? The law, the court, the government – they become the securities.
Then you can go to the court and you can demand love.
Every society makes divorce as difficult as possible, marriage as easy as possible. This seems
absurd, it should be just the opposite – marriage should be made as difficult as possible. Because
two persons are moving in an unknown world; let them wait, watch, think, brood, meditate. Give
them time. To my mind it seems that at least three years should be allowed before the court allows
anybody to marry. And I think that then nobody would get married! Three years! Impossible! After
the honeymoon everything is over. Then people cling because of the law and the security and
the problems that will come if they get separated. Children have come, now marriage becomes a
responsibility, not a bliss, not ecstasy.
And society is always happy if you are worried and not in ecstasy, because an ecstatic man cannot
be exploited. Only a worried man can be exploited; only a worried man can be made into a slave.
An ecstatic man can never be a slave, he is too dangerous for society. He is rebellious, he does not
need society – that is what an ecstatic being means. He alone is enough. And if he doesn’t need
society, then society cannot force things on him. Society wants you to be worried, ill at ease, then
you will depend on it. Then you will go to the court and you will look towards the magistrate as if
he were some god. Then the government, the state, the policemen, all become important, because
you are worried. But if you are ecstatic.... Lovers can forget them, but not married people. Lovers
can forget the policeman, he is not needed at all. Their love is enough, but when love goes, then the
policeman is needed to keep them united. A policeman is needed – now he will create trouble if you
separate. And just to avoid that trouble, people go on living together.
Life is dangerous, but that is the beauty of it – it is insecure, because insecurity is the very nature
When the Shoe Fits 140 Osho