BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES - Universitatea de Medicină şi Farmacie

actor that you are proper, polite, and refined. They are like laws in that
they codify or set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws
in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, other than
social disapproval. They are a kind of norm. What is considered
"mannerly" is highly susceptible to change with time, geographical
location, social stratum, occasion, and other factors. That manners matter
is evidenced by the fact that large books have been written on the subject,
advice columns frequently deal with questions of mannerly behavior, and
that schools have existed for the sole purpose of teaching manners. A lady
is a term frequently used for a woman who follows proper manners; the
term gentleman is used as a male counterpart; though these terms are also
often used for members of a particular social class.
Politeness is best expressed as the practical application of good
manners or etiquette. It is a culturally defined phenomenon, and therefore
what is considered polite in one culture can sometimes be quite rude or
simply strange in another cultural context.
While the goal of politeness is to make all of the parties relaxed
and comfortable with one another, these culturally defined standards at
times may be manipulated to inflict shame on a designated party.
The British social anthropologists Penelope Brown and Stephen
Levinson identified two kinds of politeness:
Negative politeness: Making a request less infringing, such as
"If you don't mind..." or "If it isn't too much trouble..."; respects a person's
right to act freely. In other words, deference. There is a greater use of
indirect speech acts.
Positive politeness: Seeks to establish a positive relationship
between parties; respects a person's need to be liked and understood.
Direct speech acts, swearing and flouting maxims can be considered
aspects of positive politeness because:
o they show an awareness that the relationship is strong enough
to cope with what would normally be considered impolite (in the popular
understanding of the term);
o they articulate an awareness of the other person's values,
which fulfills the person's desire to be accepted.
Some cultures seem to prefer one of these kinds of politeness over
the other. To be polite in one culture or society mean to know and to
follow the etiquette accepted in them.
Examples of etiquette:
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