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240<br />

WHO IS JOHN GALT? 1957–1968<br />

More oxford books @ www.OxfordeBook.com<br />

He spoke in circles, contradicted himself, and was unable to state his<br />

thoughts clearly. Most distressing of all, when Rand asked Nathan how<br />

he felt about her, he responded, “I don’t know.” Nor could he explain his<br />

feelings for Barbara or Patrecia. The man Rand hailed as her teacher of<br />

psychology was utterly divorced from his inner state. After a year of this<br />

Rand was losing hope. “He makes me feel dead,” she wrote in her journal.<br />

61 Then in June 1968 Nathan presented Rand with a letter in which<br />

he stated clearly that their age difference made it impossible for him to<br />

resume an affair with her.<br />

Nathan’s letter was a devastating rejection not only of Rand, but of<br />

the Objectivist philosophy itself. Objectivism taught that sex was never<br />

physical; it was always inspired by a deeper recognition of shared values,<br />

a sense that the other embodied the highest human achievement. Not<br />

only was Rand emotionally crushed, she now worried that Nathan was<br />

an inadequate representative of her life’s work. He was caught in the<br />

snare of physical attraction, which spoke volumes to his emotional and<br />

spiritual confusion. And he had struck hardest at Rand’s deepest insecurities<br />

by telling her she was no longer attractive to him.<br />

Even after the letter, Rand clung to the hope of some relationship<br />

with Nathan. So quick to break with others who angered her, she went<br />

to extraordinary lengths to preserve their connection. “Love is exception<br />

making,” she had written in The Fountainhead, and now she carved out<br />

an exception for the man to whom she had dedicated Atlas Shrugged. 62<br />

She and Nathan would continue as business associates, understanding<br />

that they would never recapture the personal closeness of their early<br />

years. NBI and The Objectivist would continue unchanged. Nathan<br />

would work on his inability to live by Objectivist principles, and he<br />

would agree to give up seeing Patrecia, the source of his emotional<br />

troubles. Rand still believed that their relationship was platonic but suspected<br />

that Nathan had buried feelings for Patrecia. It was yet another<br />

instance of his failing to check his premises or think rationally.<br />

This unstable accord held together, barely, for most of the summer.<br />

Ayn and Nathan continued to edit articles together, but the long therapy<br />

sessions were over. Nathan began seeing Allan Blumenthal instead.<br />

Blumenthal had a medical degree but no formal training in psychology<br />

beyond what Nathan taught him. Now he served as Nathan’s confessor.<br />

Nathan admitted his love for Patrecia, but not the affair. Rand grew<br />

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