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126<br />

More oxford books @ www.OxfordeBook.com<br />

FROM NOVELIST TO PHILOSOPHER, 1944–1957<br />

engineer even let her drive the train for a brief moment, to the surprise<br />

of observers along the track. When she disembarked, Frank continued<br />

to marvel, telling her, “You do such exciting things!” 66 In Chicago she<br />

had another series of appointments with executives at Kaiser Steel and<br />

toured one of the company’s giant mills.<br />

Rand’s visit to New York also reinvigorated her connection to Paterson,<br />

which had seen its share of ups and downs. At fi rst their rich friendship<br />

appeared to easily weather Rand’s move to California. In New York their<br />

relationship was defi ned by long abstract conversations, often stretching<br />

into the early morning. When Rand relocated, they easily translated these<br />

conversations onto paper, sending each other lengthy letters and carrying<br />

on extended debates about intellectual matters. Paterson updated<br />

Rand on the comings and goings of New York libertarians, telling of her<br />

meetings with Herbert Hoover and DuPont executive Jasper Crane. The<br />

letters were also warm, with Paterson consoling Rand over publishing<br />

troubles, advising her on how to relate to the wives of her male friends,<br />

and praising her fashion choices. Paterson adopted a motherly role<br />

toward Rand. She was particularly concerned about Rand’s continued<br />

use of Benzedrine to fuel her late-night conversations and lengthy writing<br />

days. “Stop taking that Benzedrine, you idiot,” she told her. “I don’t<br />

care what excuse you have—stop it.” 67 Still enjoying the new creative<br />

capacity the stimulants engendered, Rand brushed off Paterson’s hints<br />

that Benzedrine could become a dangerous habit.<br />

Before long a chill crept into their letters. Busy with her writing,<br />

Rand was unable to maintain the relationship at a level that satisfi ed<br />

Paterson’s emotional needs. After a three-month gap in correspondence<br />

Paterson felt neglected, telling Rand, “I assume that one speaks to a<br />

friend, or writes a letter, spontaneously. It is not a task.” 68 Rand’s silence<br />

hit a particularly sensitive spot for Paterson, who had noticed, “after<br />

authors have become successful I hear no more of them. They have<br />

many important affairs to attend to.” 69 Paterson feared that Rand, like so<br />

many other aspiring writers, had simply cultivated her for professional<br />

advancement. Rand’s affection for Paterson was genuine, but she had<br />

trouble soothing her friend’s insecurities. It was another seven months,<br />

mid-1945, before Rand could reply, confessing, “I have been afraid to<br />

write you.” 70 She explained in detail her anxiety about writing letters<br />

to friends, born of her correspondence with Russian family members,<br />

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